Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
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Last Update: May 3, 2012
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after senior year of high school, my friendship with my best friend really fell apart. i got annoyed with her easily, with things she did, & she wouldn't apologize for it either. even though she knew i was upset. she was always kind of like that though, very selfish.
anyway, i got really mad at her this last time, and i told her we shouldn't hang out. well 4 days later, she did the same thing, didn't text me, and then posted on my facebook with a joke. she always does this.
should i forgive her AGAIN or just stop talking to her? she will be gone in a month for college..
btw, can't talk to her, she just won't respond, and then just a few days later talk like nothing happened (link)
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I would confront her and tell her that you don't like being in arguments with her, and it's immature that you two ignore each other instead of resolving the problem. Tell her if she wants to keep the friendship, that she is going to have to put in some effort and communicate.
Once she goes off to college, it won't be so difficult since you will only be talking every once in a while to stay in touch, and not being annoyed with each other every day.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I start college in 2 days and I've been doing a lot of thinking.. I really want to change my attitude. High school wasn't great for me because I am really shy and I didn't have many friends. I really want to change that for college. I'll be a freshman in college and I am a little nervous but kind of excited too. How do I change from being the shy girl to becoming more outgoing and meeting new people and making new friends? I have difficulty starting a conversation with strangers, and I also have difficulty becoming friends with someone. It just seems awkward whenever I ask for their number and ask to hang out.. and if I ever do hang out with them, it just seems so awkward. Please help! (link)
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Hi there,
I'm in the same boat as go, I leave for college in a few days! I'm so nervous, but I'm also excited.
College is the perfect place to start over. All of the freshman will be looking to meet new people, so you don't have to do much to make new friends. Just smile, be friendly, and try to start talking. Compliment a girl on her shoes, or find something in common with someone. Talk to people in your classes about the assignments or the teacher or something you found funny, and go from there.
You don't have to ask for their number off the bat, since you guys will be spending time at school you can just hang out there. Then if you decide to make plans for later, just say "Give me your number and I'll text you about tonight" or something like that. Hang out in groups at first so it isn't awkward, and then you will get to know people better.
Don't be afraid to join clubs and get involved, this will get you out there to meet new people.
Just try your best, and when in doubt, smile!
Good luck,
-Abby
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I have three best friends (Ella, Nicki, Ashley), except it's usually "me and Ella" or "me, Nicki and Ashley". We all know each other, but all four of us never hang out together. But the thing is, whenever I spend a lot of time with Nicki and Ashley, Ella gets really mad at me (and Nicki and Ashley). I feel like I have to split up my time with my besties and I wish Ella would just hang out with Nicki, Ashley and me! Plz help. Thank you! P.S. I'm a 13 year old girl. (link)
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The best you can do is try to get all the girls together.
Make it easy, and host a sleepover at your house. Invite them all, and have a plan for the night. Pick out some movies, break out some board games, maybe get cookie mix for you guys to make together or buy/make your own facial masks and have a beauty night. Try to keep it fun and interesting, so the girls won't feel awkward and they can all get to know each other. If they have a fun time, they will want to hang out as a group more often.
Appreciate the alone time you have with each of them, because it doubles your plans and when you get tired of one, you can hang out with the other!
Good luck,
-Abby
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My childhood best friend wants nothing to do with me, and I can't stand caring for her and she doesn't even care if I'm alive. For example, the other day I emailed her congrats on her graduation and received not even a thank you, however she was quick to reply and reunite with the old group of friends we use to share, I even feel left out of that group now...I just don't know what is wrong with me. (side note: people often tell me I am kind and fun to be around so I'm even more confused! I am completely open to suggestions on how to improve as an individual.) (link)
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Don't be concerned with changing yourself.
If your friend isn't interested in talking to you, then thats her problem. People spread apart and decide what friends to pay attention to and what friends they don't exactly want around anymore. This can hurt a lot, but if she decides you aren't worth your time, then she most definitely is not worth yours.
All you can do is try, be nice and friendly, and focus on yourself.
Good luck,
-Abby
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heyy
well to start of im sorry if it is a lengthy question
i am 15/f and i have made a huge mistake. nothing sexual or anything but a mistake between this guy i have a crush on.
anyway a couple of days ago i had the worst possible day of my life,so many things went wrong.
well afterschool i was taking the bus home and having a nice conversation with my neighbour (one of the only things that was going right that day) when my crush came up (he's the bad boy type you could say)
now dont get me wrong but i really like him but that day was so bad and then he legitly stuck his head between us annd then i told him to go away but then he asked why and without thinking i said "because i dont like you"
and now i feel horribe and guilty. i think that i may have hurt his feelings but my best friends say that i probably didnt and if i did he would have brushed it off by now
anyway i feel like an asshole and a jerk and i see him everyday and i want to apologize because its killing me but i just cant talk to him now.
we werent good friends but we could talk to each other and now we cant even do that.
but dont get me wrong i am very nice not to be cocky but everyone says i am the nicest person they know.
i just feel like a jerk and i have to make it up to him for one i cant sleep or eat because of it and two he is my neighbour and my crush
what should i do?
please help asap
thanks
(link)
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He probably didn't take what you said too seriously, but you can fix it.
Next time you see him walk up to him and make conversation. You can even say "Sorry I was rude to you on the bus, I was having a really bad day."
As long as he sees you still want to talk to him, things will be back to normal. You can even be flirty and say "When I said I didn't like you, I was lying."
Play it cool and observe his attitude. I'm sure he wasn't too upset.
Good luck,
-Abby
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19/f
my bestfriend lives with me and my mom and dad. she got kicked out of her house and shes been living with me for about 7 months. im put up with it and now im just getting annoyed very easily. She is that type of girl where whatever she says goes. if something doesnt go her way she will not be happy. im one of those girls who cant really stand up for herself. ive told her no before but she gives me the guilt trip. ive just started always saying yes to her just so i avoid her being mad at me. shes also stolen things from me but i dont have the mouth to open up and say anything. i want her to leave but i could never say no to her. she knows what buttons to push to change my mind to make herself happy. we usually go out on the weekends to party and i mostly do it because she wants to. i have a boyfriend and he hates the way she treats me and i put up with it. shes told me that she feels like i put my bf before her but thats not true because i drop everything for her. she tells me drive here i drive there for her just to make her happy. so my boyfriend asked me on monday if i wanted to go to the movies on friday. and i said i wasnt sure because im not sure if i can go out because my friend wants to party. which is very stupid because i cant hang out with my boyfriend because i have to party with my friend? she is not a understanding person if i ever told her i already have plans she would freak out and thats what i try and avoid from her. so i want to go out to the movies and dinner with my boyfriend because its my last weekend here before i go away for 2 weeks. my friend wont stop talking about the party she wants to go to tomorrow and i dont have the balls to be like No, i dont want to do that i have plans, find a ride. (she doesnt have her license, shes also 19) which makes her depend on me for her ride everywhere. i drop everything to come home and drive her. for an example i was sleeping over my bfs and she called me at 4 in the morning to drive her home because she had no other ride. i ended up getting up and driving her which is stupid. i don't know what to do about tomorrow because im afraid to talk to her. i cant tell her no. and i want to go with my boyfriend. i almost want to leave her a letter and be like "i know your going to get mad but i can't tell you this to your face. ive had plans since monday to go out with paul for dinner and a movie ive just been afaid to tell you" or something on that affect and not come home and shut my phone off. im afraid of what she will say. please help or any suggestions !? thank you! (link)
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Honestly, you need to put your fears behind you and stand up for yourself. You are an adult and should be able to handle this.
My best friend sometimes makes me angry because it seems like her needs should come before everyone else's, but you just need to stand up for yourself.
And I had another friend who I was afraid to make plans with because she caused drama. The way she would get angry and yell at me made me afraid to talk to her. Eventually I had to let her go out of my life.
Sit down and talk to your best friend. Make a list of things you want her to hear so she cant distract you.
Tell her how she makes you feel and don't hide anything, but also don't accuse her of anything or be defensive, this will cause an argument. Tell her that you aren't mad, but you are hurt. Let her know you value her friendship but the two of you have to wrok at it.
Make ground rules. She should follow some rules since she lives with you for free! Tell her sometimes your boyfriend does have to come first. Let her know that you can't go party with her because he made plans with you already, but since you are canceling on her last minute maybe you can drop her off at the party?
Tell her you are happy to give her rides sometimes, but you can't do it all the time. Maybe she could help pay for gas if you take her everywhere?
If you talk calmly with her and she can't come to some compromise or understanding, then maybe she needs to move out. It might just SAVE your friendship not to live under the same roof.
Do what YOU have to do to be happy. It isn't about making anyone else happy! Remember that!
Good luck,
-Abby
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all of the people i care about and love in this world use me and i don't have the gall to tell them off. my boyfriend uses me for sex and ignores me thoughout the week, forgets our plans, doesn't give two shits about me. he was supposed to come over monday but forgot and never called. his way of apologizing for that was poking me on facebook. my friend uses me to get weed. and when not that, cigarettes. besides that, she thinks i'm the dumbest person on this planet and basically backhands me all the time (metaphorically) by insulting me. another friend only hangs out with me when she has something serious going on and needs someone who is willing to listen to hours of bullshit while smoking all of that poor person's cigarettes!!!
I'M SO TIRED OF ALL OF IT. i'm not talking to any of these people right now, but i know i probably will in a few days. i really care about all of these people, deeply. but i won't be taken advantage of anymore. i'm graduating in a few months and i have half the mind to move across the country without telling any of them. i can't believe i've put up with all this for so long. my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years, known eachother 4. the first friend i've known for 4 years, and my other friend i've known for 13 years. what should i do? (link)
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You need to make these people realize you can't be used. Next time you hang out with your friends, refuse them cigarettes. Say you're out or you're broke; whatever you have to. Tell your friend you want to hang out without smoking weed for a change and suggest a fun activity.
If your friend only likes to talk about her problems, approach her with one of yours. Even discuss this issue with her! If she won't listen remind her how you always are there for her.
And with your boyfriend, you need to show him that he can't treat you this way. He's probably used to it and thinks you won't ever leave. Talk to him and tell him what he needs to change. If he doesn't agree then it's time to take a break. He'll realize what he's missing and right his wrongs. You should also probably not give into sex whenever he wants it. Make him work for it!
To be honest, I notice that the 'friendships' shared by smokers and pot users aren't very strong. They last when the stuff is around, but when something comes up those people aren't reliable enough to be there for you. I suggest you cut down or think about quitting, and branch out to a different friend group.
You know what you deserve and you know how to get it. Stand up for yourself.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Any one who can help me I'd gladly appreciate anything....Ok so I really need some help. I'm just gonna tell you it really simple:
Me and my best friend were going to give my other friend a christmas present because she was going to give us her $70 purses. She wanted makeup at Victoria's secret from me. (She wanted the whole makeup set...REMEMBER THAT) Because me and my best friend have all the make up there and its really good.
But my best friend didn't get her paycheck yet so she was gonna wait till after christmas to give it to her. After work me, my best friend, and HER went to victoria's secret to get her the makeup, because we all hung out at the mall that one day. We get there and there's no more of makeup of what she wanted. She was really pissed and I didn't know what to do because I thought she just wanted the makeup not the whole set it's 30 dollars and I don't make a lot of money. So I offer to buy her 3 things of makeup there like lipstick, blush or mascara. And she refuses and gets pissed off AT ME and walks away. I kept asking her and she wouldn't even talk to me. It's been a week and a half and she ignored me the whole car ride. She talked to my best friend the whole time.
Then yesterday....I found out my best friend was hanging out with her at mcDonalds and my best friend was gonna sleepover at her house without me. I didn't care but I was kind of mad. The whole time we hung out she was talking and laughing with my best friend. I got really jealous. I was so angry and she didn't even talk to me. My best friend gave me attention but I felt left out. I already talked about this for like 5 hours with my best friend and were thinking about leaving this girl. She also said to my best friend... who would you pick me or her? And my best friend said both. Also she's forcing my best friend to buy her a pair of jeans that cost $80.
It's really bad. I blocked her on Facebook because that's what everyone thought I should do. Should I be friends with her? She's always been there for me. I've always helped her out with paying for her food and giving her rides. People think she's using me. But my best friend would never leave and take her side because we are THAT close. What should I do? (link)
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No good friend would force you to buy her something. That is ridiculous! It sounds like you guys are young, so she can't expect you to be rich and be able to buy her something. Secondly, gifts are not mandatory, they are supposed to be something thoughtful to show that you care. Forcing you to buy her something is not a good example of that.
And you said she is just 'giving' you her $70 purses? Meaning she didn't buy them for you? That isn't a gift either.
If I was you, I would talk to this girl and tell her that she is acting immature and selfish. Tell her you don't owe her anything, and that you don't want to be friends with someone who has a hissy fit when they don't get what they want.
Honestly, this girl sounds like one of the 'friends' that is more trouble then they are worth. I've dropped a friend like this and my life is less stressful because of it.
Good Luck,
-Abby
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Ok so I was at work and I was texting my friend. We were supposed to hang out after work. And right before my shift she's like can you give me a ride home I don't live that far. I said I can't. (because I'm saving up for money on a new car that I HAVE to buy). And she's like why not. I'm like because I can't drive a lot only the places I have to go to if you want a ride home you need to give me at least 5 dollers on gas. She said "No your a cheap girl your my friend you should give me a ride home" and I got really hurt by that I said fine we won't hang out. And she still wanted to hang out with me. I didnt want to since she called me a cheap girl. But I dont give free rides. Gas is really expensive. So we didn't hang out. Then she texts me and acts like nothing happened. Do you think shes using me? Do you thnk I should not be friends with her? I'm not a cheap girl , and I dont deserve to be treated like that. My best friend always pays me for gas money because I take her everywhere.
Should I stop being her friend? (link)
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I think you should look at this from both sides.
First, from your side.
I think it was rude of her to call you cheap and try to force you into giving her a ride home. Gas is expensive and it is good that you want to save money.
However, considering she was only asking for a ride once, I don't think she was using you. She wanted to hang out and had a hard time finding a ride home. Remember how annoying it was to need a ride everywhere before you started to drive. The fact that she wanted to hang out even after you said no to giving her a ride tells me she wasn't using you. If you were my friend and wouldn't give me a ride home just once, I would probably think you were cheap too.
By not bringing it up again, I think she's moved on from the situation and you should too. Don't ruin a friendship over one little argument.
Good Luck,
-Abby
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I've got a couple of friends. But I'm not super close to them. They have friends that are closer to them than I am so I don't really know all the news things happening to them and I'll find out a couple of days later. I mean, we're close, but not AT close.
I have a best friend and I tell her 99% everything! Sometimes, I wish I had another best friend or maybe two more so that if there's a rough situation I'm in and I couldn't tell my best friend, at least I'll have someone else to talk to. Posting them online to anonymous people is also okay, I guess, but I'm not comfortable with that.
Am I bad for even hoping for another friend? Not a REPLACEDMNT, but more than one? Or should I be happy with what I have? I mean, I think my best friend talks to some other people about things more than she does with me about her troubles :( (link)
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I have a group of close friends and one best friend. I like being super close to one but also close to the others. I like having the others because I can confide in them things I wouldn't tell my bff.
You can deepen your relationship with the other friends by spending more time with them and confiding in them more, and they will do the same. Try to make new friends too, you'll never know who you'll get close to.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I have been in a friendship with another lady
for ten years. At first it went well, then
I identified her as controlling. When we
got together, what we did, whose house we
would go to etc WAS ALWAYS her decision.
We had a few tiffs and split for 6 months.
Then I called her and we got together very
infrequently. Now as I write this it has
gotten worse when I thought everything was
fine. We were at a social function a month
ago (Her with her husband of course) and I
had a male friend I introduced her to. She
told him I was a good friend to her- always
there for her and we are also email buddies.
Personally that hurt and I thought " There
it is I am more email buddy that close
friend. Anyway another social event was
the end of Feb and she slipped by my table
and said she'd be back in a few min.....an
hour later she came over to the table
at barely spoke a word to me and kept
telling her husband she wanted to go home.
I feel bad but I have lost interest now,
no time for me to spend time with, so I
have stopped calling and she has not advanced
me even through email. Years ago when I
came back to town after my twin grandaughters
were born, her husband was busy one nite
and I asked her lets go for coffee and I
will show you pics of the babies and she
said soon as we got in her car ' Here we
go caught in THIS TRAP AGAIN' I was hurt
but stayed in the car......and this has
been my history with her. I am through
being talked down to and disrespected.
Do you think I am doing the right thing
by walking away??? (link)
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I've been in friendships where the person is controlling and only seems to care about themself, and it truly is a drain on other person. I also had another friendship where the things she said to me and how she treated me were ridiculous and I couldn't tolerate it. We used to be best friends but now she is someone I say hi to and will chat with occasionally, but it's not where we depend on each other. It's reduced the drama in my life and it may be for the better. The first relationship I mentioned I still deal with. I know my friend cares about me and that it's communication that I need to break through with her to make things better. If you think your friend does care about you enough to change and work on the friendship, then try. If she isn't dependable or caring or concerned with the relationship, then it isn't worth it. Only devote your time to someone who is willing to reciprocate. It may be painful but it will save you future pain and regret.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I moved to a new state last summer and i havent made that many friends at my new school. There was this girl who was also new who didnt know anyone and she was really down to earth, so we became friends. Over the school year shes become very stuck up, materialistic, and rude to people who try to be nice and talk to her. So im her only friend, and for a while she was my only friend. Ive made some friends with some very nice guys which have invited us (me and my friend) to sit with them during lunch. She never wants to because she thinks shes too good for them. I really dont see anything wrong with them, they are just trying to be friends with her. So i told her to stop being mean and to come sit with them sometime. She always refuses, which means im stuck with her and i dont get to sit with them. Then they get upset (not mad at me) when we dont sit with them. Each day she becomes even more and more rude and i dont really want to be friends with her anymore. Sometimes i feel like she doesnt like sitting with me either. Today during lunch she was on her phone for 45 min out of 50 min. She just kept me sitting there, and when i said i wanted to go sit with the guys she said no. I got really mad and just got up and left to go sit with them because i didnt want to just sit there and listen to her conversation. It was rude for her to be on the phone the ENTIRE lunch period (which is the only time i see her). Anyways, do you think i had the right to do what i did? I know it wasnt very nice, but shes been so mean to people and i thought she deserved it. What would you do in my position? (link)
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It sounds like shes holding you back. I went to a new school in 9th grade and I made friends I only had for a while and realized they weren't going to be close friends. You have the right to sit wherever you want, so tell her you want to sit with the guys and she can come if she wants. If she's mad about it, tell her your sorry but you don't want to sit there and watch her talk on the phone and not talk to you. If she doesn't change her attitude then it's her loss.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Ok, so i recently had a HUGE fight with my best friend. (Sorry this might be long) Well she was at my house and she was on facebook and she made her status "F*****g around with molly (Molly made me put this as my status grandma)" i didn't realize she was making a joke so i asked her to change it. then she got mad and i got mad, and she has stopped being my friend, along with calling me nasty names, and saying that she has been wanting to say that for a long time, she seemed like a true friend before so i don't know whether i should believe her, she also said people were talking about me behind my back, but i don't know whether to believe her or not because she has lied before. i have tried to talk to her and apologized already but she won't take it. She lies and says that she tried to talk to me casually when that "talking" to me is really just telling me that no one likes me and that i am a horrible person. I really don't know how to deal with her, she is pulling others of my friends into the situation and lying to them to make them hate me. I try to ignore her, but she just tells her mom that i have been insulting or being mean to her so her mom confronts me about it, and i have been taught not to argue with adults so i just go along. I really don't know what i can do, i am losing my friends like polar bears are disappearing, and i don't know what to believe, i am sooooo confused. Is there any way i can get her back on my level, or get her to be my friend again, and has anything like this happened to you? And, why do you think she is exploding like this all of a sudden? Why do you think she made such a big deal out of her facebook status, when she almost never made a big deal out of anyhting before?
Thanks!!
Molly (link)
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Your best friend sounds immature and unable of being a good friend to you. I was in a similar situation where a girl would call me her bff but then when she was mad at me she would take every name out of the book and call me it and say rude things. I tried hard with the friendship but I realized the drama wasn't worth it and I'm better off without her.
Give the relationship a break. Stop talking to her and tell her you can't be friends with someone who causes this much drama and to talk to you when she can handle a healthy friendship. If she wants to make it work, she'll talk to you calmly when she's ready.
Fighting with her and getting on her level will just prolong the situation, and her mom getting involved is only unfair to you.
Do whats best for you, and good things will come from that.
Good luck,
-Abby
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So I'm having this goodbye sleepover party since I'm leaving and I was wondering what kind of stuff we could do and what food might be good? I already bought oreas, cheesecake, crackers and cheese, coke, chips and marshmellows? I'm more about the activities? I was thinking something fun where we could video tape us playing so I can remember it later on. Maybe something like a card game where you have to like get caked or something? Any ideas! Just anything fun and memorable that will make us all laugh! By the way there's four of us altogether. I don't really want to watch a movie because that's kind of boring. Please help! It's tomorrow! (link)
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Games:
Dirty minds
Twister
Get a hat and write facts on it about yourselves that you think no one else knows and you have to guess what belongs to each person
Jenga
Food:
Decorate cupcakes/cookies
Popcorn
Activities:
Tape yourselves singing christmas carols or just songs you guys love
Dancing
Re-enact all your funny moments together on film like a movie
Make your own beauty products with stuff you have around the house
http://www.ultimate-cosmetics.com/homemade-beauty-products.htm
Do girly stuff like painting nails, make overs, facials, etc.
You could put temporary dye in your hair (Loreal Color pulse is a good brand)so you'll deffinitely have something to remember the night by
Hope that helped,
-Abby
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17/f. My one friend has been kind of mean to me lately and it's pissing me off she always puts me down and she does this to other people to. I'm not sure if she is joking or what (link)
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I have a similar friend and if you let them treat you like that they probably wont even notice it's happening. You need to let her know that it hurts you when she says things like that. Don't do it in an agressive way, but in a way that shows her you care about the friendship and just want to be treated better.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Why is it that I do better, socially, with people older than me? I'm 20 and almost all of my friends that I talk to are 30 and up. Some are even much older...like in their 60's and 70's. I'm not sure why but I feel like I relate better with them and have better conversations. My time spent with older people is more enjoyable than with those my own age. Is this normal? (link)
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Some people are what I like to call "old souls". Their more mature than their peers. I'm a teenager but some of the things I hear other teens talk about sound incredibly stupid and immature to me. So it's not abnormal that you may find more things in common with someone who is older then you.
-Abby
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I just moved to San Antonio, and I was a little desperate to make friends with any of my neighbors. I am white and I befriended a Mexican man, Carlos, living nearby. I started loaning him money and buying him drinks. He made it very clear that he didn't want to date me, but wanted a purely physical relationship.
I ended up befriending his sister "Jenny" also, and she told me that he didn't like me and was using me. I bought her drinks and smokes, not really caring about the money.
I was a little hurt, but continued to hang out with him and loan him small dollar amounts here and there. Although he did try to put the moves on me, I said "no".
Carlos and his friend, Jon, came over to my house one night, so they could download music and play on the internet. They were mad that I had talked to Jenny about my "giving" relationship with Carlos. Carlos told me never to talk about it with anyone. I said Jenny was a hypocrite, because I had bought her stuff also. Jon later told Jenny what I had said.
Jenny confronted me on the sidewalk infront of my house that I had talked about everyone behind their back. She called me immature. She brought up the relationship with my neighbor and my feelings for my neighbor infront of other neighbors. I was mortified, I apologized and ran inside why she still ranted. Carlos watched the whole exchange from his yard and let his dog go into my yard. He smiled while it chased me in the house. I no longer have any feelings for Carlos. However, I did want to get along with my neighbors and make friends.
I am afraid to leave the house, and I plan never to talk to my neighbors again. Can you give me any advice? (link)
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These people sound like trash to me. Honestly, if they think they are leading a real, equal friendship with you, they need to re-evaluate their relationships. Don't let people like that put you down. I know it's hard when you just want friends and people to like you.
You need to show these people you are serious and can't be used. I suggest calling animal control or the police to lodge a complaint about their dog chasing you. You can arange for someone to go to their house and speak to them about it, because it is dangerous.
Break contact with them and if they harrass you, call the police. It is a crime.
I recommend talking to other neighbors and trying to make some allies. Don't talk about your situation up front, but ask if they heard anything about it and see their opinion. If you can sway some neighbors to your side, you will feel better and more secure.
If you ever talk to them and they try to create an altercation, simply say you apologize for offending them but you are also offended by their gross behavior and you wish to let things go and remain civil. You don't have to be friends with them but being able to not argue is important.
Just try your best to be mature and if it escalates see if there is a neighborhood program or home owners association in the area to report them to. If you are really scared, call the police. It's your neighborhood too, don't let them scare you.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I'm only 18 but I've noticed that I've never had a true close friend. I have had a few casual friends in the past (and currently have quite a few) but no really good friends that truly KNOW me. Some of these friends say they enjoy hanging around me, but no one ever seems to want me as a closer friend.
One friend in particular said I was kind, polite, trustworthy, supportive and understanding, but she's was very open with letting me know that she doesn't consider me a close friend. (She couldn't/wouldn't say why.) Although most people my age are getting married, becoming engaged or dating seriously, everyone else seems to have good friends that are always there for them and know them. Lately I've been trying to get out there and make more friends, but I don't really know what else to do. I'm not mean and I don't think I'm a bad person. I just don't know how to form that CLOSER bond. I don't know what I'm missing, I guess.
I'll admit, It's starting to get a little lonely. Nobody REALLY knows who I am other than me. What can I do? (link)
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My close friends are people who I spend a lot of time with and really got to know them. It really takes effort sometimes. You have to be in contact with people often (not clingy, but if you haven't talked to a person in a few days a text message/email/facebook comment etc would be nice.) I talk to my best friend every day. You really have to find someone who you have a lot in common with and understand each other. Maybe you haven't met people like that yet. Invite friends to do activities you know you'll like. Maybe you could have a throwback slumber party to hang out with the girls like little girls do when there younger. It's a great way to talk and tell secrets and bond.
Doing special things for friends makes them appreciate you more. For a birthday, go out of your way to bring them balloons, make them cupcakes, etc.
People need to know that they can depend on you, so let your friends know you're always there for them. Offer to help with things (like moving out, giving rides, come over early to help set up for a party etc).
Why don't you try joining activities that you can find people who have common interests (sports, dance classes, art classes, theres lots of different clubs or charities.)
If you want this, and put effort into it, I don't see why you can't make close friends. You sound like a caring person and that's the most important quality.
Good luck,
-Abby
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17/f my friend really wants a car any kind of car if it runs it's good. And her mom said msybe how can she talk her into getting one?? (link)
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To persuade her mom, she should personalize her method. Some parents give in after you bother them for a long time, and some parents like to see you make a plan and give a good argument. For me, I can usually cry or act upset to my dad and he'll give me just about anything (I don't abuse it haha)
Tell your friend to do her research. Find a model of car both her and her mom can agree on (a realistic car) and find approximate costs for gas, insurance, the price of the car, etc. Use a method she thinks will work to give her mom the information and prove that she has put thought into it. Make sure she explains the benefits (running errands for her mom, taking herself to places, etc.) And a way to greatly improve her chances is by coming up with some of the money herself and getting a job if she doesn't already have one.
Good luck to both of you,
Abby
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My friend and I are fighting a lot, i just want to fix it, like stupid fights over nothing really. And i just want hurry up and gt past it, I'm 16 going to be a Junior next year, its summer, and i love her as a best friend, i can't lose her now. Help me?(: (link)
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Every friendship communicates differently, so there are some ways you could approach this.
Do you two do best talking face to face, on the phone, or by email? I find that when I fight with my bff, its on text or IM. So avoid how you two fight when trying to resolve it. If you meet her face to face to talk about it, she will know you are serious about making up.
You need to have a clear mind and the intention to patch things up, not prove your point or argue more. Don't talk to her intending to yell or get an apology. You must be willing to give one yourself.
Start by:
Making an honest list. Write what you think she did to hurt you (not petty things, just how she really hurt you and damaged you friendship) and then write how you may have hurt her.
Then, make a list about how much you care about her. Write how much she matters to you and what you love about her.
Take these things and go talk to her (in person is the best way to not have a catty fight, its easy to send nasty texts or instant messages)
or write her a sincere letter. A letter will show her you put a lot of thought into it.
If you don't want to do so much, try making cookies or something she loves and visiting her, and make a card saying how much you love her and can't wait to spend the summer with her.
All you can do is tell her how you feel, what you want from your friendship.
Me and my friends get on each others nerves, so maybe taking a day or two away from each other will help.
Good luck,
-Abby
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