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How do I deal with a new neighbor that I have wronged?
I just moved to San Antonio, and I was a little desperate to make friends with any of my neighbors. I am white and I befriended a Mexican man, Carlos, living nearby. I started loaning him money and buying him drinks. He made it very clear that he didn't want to date me, but wanted a purely physical relationship.
I ended up befriending his sister "Jenny" also, and she told me that he didn't like me and was using me. I bought her drinks and smokes, not really caring about the money.
I was a little hurt, but continued to hang out with him and loan him small dollar amounts here and there. Although he did try to put the moves on me, I said "no".
Carlos and his friend, Jon, came over to my house one night, so they could download music and play on the internet. They were mad that I had talked to Jenny about my "giving" relationship with Carlos. Carlos told me never to talk about it with anyone. I said Jenny was a hypocrite, because I had bought her stuff also. Jon later told Jenny what I had said.
Jenny confronted me on the sidewalk infront of my house that I had talked about everyone behind their back. She called me immature. She brought up the relationship with my neighbor and my feelings for my neighbor infront of other neighbors. I was mortified, I apologized and ran inside why she still ranted. Carlos watched the whole exchange from his yard and let his dog go into my yard. He smiled while it chased me in the house. I no longer have any feelings for Carlos. However, I did want to get along with my neighbors and make friends.
I am afraid to leave the house, and I plan never to talk to my neighbors again. Can you give me any advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Don't let them scare you in the house, go out side and live your life you have monyen to spend now.haha. They needed you, you don't need them. You can make friends easy.It will take them a while to get money. But your better than that. When you see them don't pay them any mind. And when their dog comes on your yard call the dog people they'll give them a ticket. Forget them. But you also need to hear this. You lead them on. You know they only liked you for what you had not who you were. But you learn from your mistakes. Have fun enjoy life.
Lillian
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You have to realize that this situation is partly your fault. While this is a horrible situation, hopefully it'll teach you something.
You shouldn't have been buying them stuff to begin with. Rather than earning their friendship, you were buying it. That's a lesson right there. Stop buying things for your friends. I can understand spotting them for cigarettes or taking them to dinner every once in a while, but that's all it should be - once in a while.
I also think while Jenny wasn't wrong to confront you, it was poor of her to do it in front of everyone. She could've come to your house and brought herself inside to keep the talk private. There's no reason for what she did. You deserve to be confronted, but not in front of everyone. The problem is between you & that specific neighbor, not all of the neighbors.
You shouldn't be afraid to leave the house. The friendship with them is clearly over. There's no reason to stay home constantly. Live your life. Staying home all the time will only show them that you're scared and intimidated. They're trashy, don't let them get to you. Go out and get yourself some friends, but take these lessons to heart.
Don't buy people stuff all the time, or at all even. Don't gossip, don't tell your business or anyone else's and don't be intimidated.
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These people sound like trash to me. Honestly, if they think they are leading a real, equal friendship with you, they need to re-evaluate their relationships. Don't let people like that put you down. I know it's hard when you just want friends and people to like you.
You need to show these people you are serious and can't be used. I suggest calling animal control or the police to lodge a complaint about their dog chasing you. You can arange for someone to go to their house and speak to them about it, because it is dangerous.
Break contact with them and if they harrass you, call the police. It is a crime.
I recommend talking to other neighbors and trying to make some allies. Don't talk about your situation up front, but ask if they heard anything about it and see their opinion. If you can sway some neighbors to your side, you will feel better and more secure.
If you ever talk to them and they try to create an altercation, simply say you apologize for offending them but you are also offended by their gross behavior and you wish to let things go and remain civil. You don't have to be friends with them but being able to not argue is important.
Just try your best to be mature and if it escalates see if there is a neighborhood program or home owners association in the area to report them to. If you are really scared, call the police. It's your neighborhood too, don't let them scare you.
Good luck,
-Abby
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It sounds like they are both taking advantage of you. Why are you buying them stuff?...Why does Carlos only want to have a physical relationship with you? You said "I just moved to San Antonio" Don't you find it at all a little weird that someone would want a relationship that is physical if you just moved? They don't sound like real friends from what you've said above. I know you want to meet people and make friends but as far as Carlos and his sister goes I thnk you are looking in the wrong area. The more you give money and buy things for people depending on the person the more they are going to exspect it from you and these sound exactly that those type of people. I say looking for friends eles where
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