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How do I make close friends?
I'm only 18 but I've noticed that I've never had a true close friend. I have had a few casual friends in the past (and currently have quite a few) but no really good friends that truly KNOW me. Some of these friends say they enjoy hanging around me, but no one ever seems to want me as a closer friend.
One friend in particular said I was kind, polite, trustworthy, supportive and understanding, but she's was very open with letting me know that she doesn't consider me a close friend. (She couldn't/wouldn't say why.) Although most people my age are getting married, becoming engaged or dating seriously, everyone else seems to have good friends that are always there for them and know them. Lately I've been trying to get out there and make more friends, but I don't really know what else to do. I'm not mean and I don't think I'm a bad person. I just don't know how to form that CLOSER bond. I don't know what I'm missing, I guess.
I'll admit, It's starting to get a little lonely. Nobody REALLY knows who I am other than me. What can I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
My close friends are people who I spend a lot of time with and really got to know them. It really takes effort sometimes. You have to be in contact with people often (not clingy, but if you haven't talked to a person in a few days a text message/email/facebook comment etc would be nice.) I talk to my best friend every day. You really have to find someone who you have a lot in common with and understand each other. Maybe you haven't met people like that yet. Invite friends to do activities you know you'll like. Maybe you could have a throwback slumber party to hang out with the girls like little girls do when there younger. It's a great way to talk and tell secrets and bond.
Doing special things for friends makes them appreciate you more. For a birthday, go out of your way to bring them balloons, make them cupcakes, etc.
People need to know that they can depend on you, so let your friends know you're always there for them. Offer to help with things (like moving out, giving rides, come over early to help set up for a party etc).
Why don't you try joining activities that you can find people who have common interests (sports, dance classes, art classes, theres lots of different clubs or charities.)
If you want this, and put effort into it, I don't see why you can't make close friends. You sound like a caring person and that's the most important quality.
Good luck,
-Abby
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