Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26 Member Since: September 17, 2009 Answers: 575 Last Update: July 24, 2010 Visitors: 32631
Main Categories: Love Life Families Random Weirdos View All
Favorite Columnists NinjaNeer WittyUsernameHere ThirdQED
|
| |
Our family was staying overnight at friends, and we all just crashed in the livingroom. I ended up between my teen daughter and son. During the night she kept really snuggling up to me and holding me tight. I would push her away and turn her around, and then she took my hand and placed it on her boob. I pull my arm away, and put it out far. This kept happening over and over. At one point I awoke to feel her body quivering and she is rubbing her legs together on me/beside me, and she had put my hand on her boob again. I pushed her legs away from me to get her to stop and placed her hands on her belly. I got up and went outside, had a smoke to try and figure out wtf was happening. Came back in and fell asleep for couple of hours on the floor with my son. after we were all up, and finished eating she was jumping on me, in my lap, ticckling and clinging to me. Calmed her down, and she sat on my legs. She placed her hand under my nose, and asked me to smell. It was sex smell. I said "what is that?", " nothing" she says. (link)
|
Your daughter needs therapy, She needs it now.
You and your wife need to sit her down and discuss as a family that this behaviour is NOT okay. It is very innapropriate and unacceptable.
You need to step up to the plate and talk to her
|
I had sex with my ex when we was still together of course and iam considering to tell my mom that her little girl is no longer a virgin but i don't know how to break the news to her even though iam 21 years old i still live with my mom and my mom treats me like iam still 12. what should I do? (link)
|
You are 21 years old...
What you do with your life sexually is your buisness to know. At the age of 21, It is not a crime if you do not share this sort of information with your mother. I'm pretty sure your mother already has a good idea you are sexually active anyway.
To the point, Some things are better left kept to ourselves. You are an adult
|
Hey everyone. im evan and im 15. i have melanoma skin cancer and my 17 year old brother makes fun of me all the time. he physically hurts me (punches me in the chest and in the junk) and calls me names like "mole" or "cancer boy." hes always trying to put me down or hurt me in some way. we've never gotten along but since my diagnosis its only gotten worse.
This is also kind of a seperate question but some of my friends treat me different like its some contagious disease that they can catch if they get to close to me. What can i do to get them to treat me like they used to?
And most importantly what can i do to get my brother to knock it off and treat me with respect? I tell my parents but they dont think mitch could be like that. they think hes perfect and im the problem. (link)
|
Sit down and talk to your brother, Explain to him that you are going through a hard time right now in your life and you need his support.
If this isn't possible to do, Then sit down with your parents and your brother and explain it. Approach it in a way (Mom, Dad..I have something I really need to tell the family) Sometimes people don't realize how important something is until they hear it. Your brother has no right treating you like this, It's wrong. I would also show your parents any proof of your brother hurting you. If you think it would be easier on you maybe you can even write your brother a letter. However, If you do try to make it straight forward on how it has effect on you. Don't swear, Don't use anger..Just write it calmly.
|
19/f. I live with my mom and my grandparents. I attend university here where I live. I didn't think I was going to like staying here at home for college but I ended up loving my school. I went to an all girls private high school and it was really a refreshing change to be around guys I guess and also to be around people who r not snobby. Basically, I really liked my school and I'm doing really, really well in school. Living at home is a nightmare. I stayed because my family BEGGED me 2 stay. They said they would give me my space and all of that. They most certainly ARE NOT. EVERYTHING is an argument with them. Let's start by saying that my mom doesn't even let me style my own hair. She doesn't even let me wash it myself. She will cry, scream, and throw a tantrum if I don't let her wash my hair. Whenever I have a date, they don't let me drive myself. They drop me off and pick me up. Talk about awkward. They stay at the mall where I go sometimes if its more than 5 miles away from the house. My mom drives me to and back from school. I understand that were sharing the car but I don't think its necessary to make my life nearly impossible. I'm 19. I am a women and a college student. I've been making my own money since I was 16 and I've been like the perfect daughter. I've never done anything wrong or gotten in trouble. They are treating me like this because they don't know how to let go. I am transferring to another school upstate in a year because I feel like its the only way to gain my independence. In the meantime, how can I approach this??
(link)
|
I would start looking for a room mate at your college, Perhaps an apartment near the University.
At 19, You are a full grown woman who is entitled to their privacy and independence. Have you sat your mother down and explained how you felt and how what she is doing has an effect on your outlook of living there and your independence? I think it's ridiculous that your mother would act out if she couldn't style and wash your hair. Let her know that you are an adult and you can take care of yourself and make your own decisions.
However I recommend looking into door rooms, See if anyone needs a room mate, Or possibly rent out an apartment somewhere.
|
okay, so i am 15 years old and my whole life i have been a daddy's girl and stuff. But we'd always go through rough patches where he'd pull me by my hair, jump on my stomach, or smack me with wooden spoons whn i was in my childhood state. Now that i am a teenager, he has gotten worse and he tries slamming our heads to the ground. He also still punches and yells really loud if i say something bad. If i stick up for myself now that im older i punch back and then he goes insane and throws things and punches and sometimes even strangles. But i don't know if he has a bad temper but i love my daddy cause when we get along, we really do get along. But we had a child abuse class in school because all i wanted to do was cry. Because all of the symptoms, warnings, and signs of child abuse were my dad. He also had a little wine glass by his bed and he drinks sometimes before bed. That's when most family fights happen, at night. I am so scared that he is really going to hurt me. I have an egg on the back of my head because right now he just punched me for sticking up fr myself. He is a successful dentist and i don't wanna ruin his career for having him get arrested and we need his money for our home and to support us, and i love him when we get along.. and i'd cry if he went away but it's those outbursts that i am deathly scared of. is there a place where he can get help? and still have his career? His psychologist doesn't work. please help me, please ): (link)
|
Everything you've describe is child abuse, You need to get child services involved. Take pictures, and report it. If your father doesn't want to loose his career then he shouldn't be putting it at risk. I know you love your father, but ABUSE IS NOT LOVE.
Call a hotline, Tell a teacher or call child services it is not right and it is NOT okay.
|
14 f
Ok, there was rumors going around that my bf kissed his friend. I was really worried over this and I talked to him about it and he said he never kissed her. He never lied to me before..we've been dating for 3 months now. I feel comfortable with my relationship with him..and I don't want to lose him. I just woke up and was worrying have to death again..so I got on face book and I asked his friend if it was true. Was that wrong of me? The only way I could no for sure would be asking her? I saw that she has a boy friend. My bf knows how worried I get..but I'm worried he will be upset by this...Should I delted the message to her? (link)
|
It wasn't wrong of you to ask his friend, However bare in mind that anyone can say anything and sometimes the things you hear aren't always true. The important thing in a relationship is trusting one another and communicating. Even asking the girl who supposedly kissed your boyfriend still there is never a guarantee that you will get the truth even it were true. Chill out, By messaging her you are only going to stress yourself out. Here is something to keep in mind, Sometimes people get jealous and are willing to do anything and say anything to break a couple up. Do not message her not only will it cause a fight but she could end up lying only to tick you off. Just let it go, If your boyfriend were cheating then test him and not by asking him questions look for the signs of cheating...
Sudden change in subjects
Nervous
Doesn't seem to be as affectionate as he once was
Seems to be hiding things from you, Turns off cell phone or lets it go straight to voice mail
Only you know your boyfriend, However don't go jumping to accusations to whether your boyfriend is cheating or not. It will only make him think you don't trust him. The best thing to do for now is to chill out and do not message her.
|
17/m
So I live alone with my mother, and I am more so an independent spirit.
The thing is my mother is
~nosy, she has to know every minute detail...if I go upstairs she always has to know why, etc...
~Stubborn, I try to help her, I try to advise her with what i know will help, but she is too stubborn to get help sometimes.
~Picky. Its like she chooses everything I wear and each decision I make, she told me to ask for a higher amount on my hourly wage than minimum, and that shot down my chance of getting that job.
I know they say mothers know more than teenagers think they do but at a point it just gets overbearing.
Its almost like we never talk, or whenever we do its naggy. I'm fed up and ready to say good riddance when I graduate Sr. year.
So what do I do?
(link)
|
You are growing up, You are becoming more independent and that is hard for every parent to see. Have you tried to talk to your mother? Explain to her that you appreciate everything that she does but you would really like to start doing some things on your own.
Sometimes a parent doesn't always see or know when their child wants to be independent, Try to sit down with your mother and explain to her that you feel the need to take it to the next level. (Independent etc.) If the conversation goes well try to see if you two can discuss living arrangements, College etc. Communicating is the key, She is your mother and I'm sure she is expecting you to come to her.
|
I was adopted when i was 1 month old. I was conceived in an affair so my mother didn't leave any information now i am 24 and i would really like to meet her or at least talk with her to find out about my heritage. What do i need to do to get in touch with her? (link)
|
I am in the same situation right now, I was put into Foster care at 7 days. I haven't yet found my mother but I'm still in the searching process. Here is a list of things you could try
Locate the hospital you were born at, You can try to ask them to provide any documents about your birth.
Try using the internet, If you know her name you could try "Yellowpages.com" see if anyone by her name comes up in your state
I really don't have too much more information other than it wouldn't be a bad idea to possibly contact the adoption agency also.
Good luck on finding your mother, I hope your search is a success in the long run. I'm in the same boat
|
My brother got busted by the police for the first time approximately 4 weeks ago. He called from the hospital telling us he had to get a blood test to see if he was high or under the influence. We just got the papers today that he should find a lawyer, he is in for three charges, under the influence, drug paraphernalia and window screening (which is the tinting on the person's car he was driving, I don't know what that is but that was one of his charges). Now, since all of this happened and we got all the papers, I believe my brother is in the most trouble because he wasn't even driving his car, he was driving his friends who was in the back seat of the vehicle when they were pulled over. They searched the car and searched each person, they took them in handcuffs, I can't even imagine seeing that. Anyways, now I'm rambling, my point is, what's in store for my brother? For court and everything? Thanks. He is 18 and again, this is his first time getting caught. (link)
|
Depends on the court, Your brother is now legally an adult.
Depending on judge, court etc. He might get lucky and end up on probation with community service as this is his first charge. It's either that or he goes to jail...
Seeing your brother was charge as an adult it will be on his record for 5 years, As now his chances of getting a job are even harder and it certainly doesn't look if he were trying to get a place of his own etc. Looks like he really screwed himself over on this one..
|
The only computer in my house is in my room. My dad is the only one who used it today and in a minimized window is "Literotica." I flipped back through the pages and he's reading titles in the Incest section under the searches "love," "lust," and "daddy."
I am his only daughter. I'm 17. He's 60.
I'm really disturbed. I've seen it on the history before but I've figured, everyone has strange fetishes. But incest?! This is really grossing me out. I feel like I have to hide my body now around him. I dress like most teenage girls-- short shorts, low cut tops-- and now I just want to cover up and die.
Should I bring it up with my mom? She's the only other one living in the house. I'm too embarrassed to tell my boyfriend. This is just so weird. My dad's seriously not a creep or a perv, this is just so unexpected.
Thanks for any advice =/ (link)
|
Well, If it were me I also would be a little weirded out but on the other hand I would try to bare in mind that maybe it's just one of the guys weird fantasies? On the other hand you'd ask (Incest..) I would also be covering myself up more, God only knows what a person really thinks about. (I'm not saying your dad is a perv) I'm just saying people don't always tell the real truth of what they think about a situation. If you and your mother are close you could calmly explain to her how it made you feel. Don't take it all personally just yet, This might not even involve you. However on the other hand I don't think it would hurt to cover up a little more skin..
|
My uncle is really sick and his kidneys are failing him. He's had this kidney trouble for years now and he's been in and out of the hospital. He has not found a donor yet and has been waiting on the list for quite some time. I just found out that I'm a match for him. My mom doesn't want me to donate my kidney though because she says I'm way too young to be doing things like that and that I might end up regretting it later. I'm not sure what to do though. I don't want him to die because he's always been good to me. What should I do? What are the REAL pros & cons of doing this? Help? (link)
|
Donating an organ to a family member is personal choice, Sure it is a great thing and can help your uncle in the long run and possibly live a healthier life. However remember, Donating ANY organ is something that takes time to think about and will require surgery.
Do not feel pressured into HAVING to donate an organ because you are a match. It will not make you a bad person if you decide not to donate an organ. Again, This is YOUR body and YOU decide what you want to do. You're mother has her opinions, However again everyone has their opinions when it comes to certain things but again this would be a decision only you would be able to make. You either are an organ donor or you're not.
|
I just met my biological dad and his son who is my brother i spent a week with them over spring break and we all grew close, now that im back at home (which is 9 hours away from them) i miss them so much i text my biological dad and brother daily telling them i miss them and yes, love them. Now my mom checks my text messages and i guess it hurts her to see that i indeed love them. she gets mad cuz i want to go back home where my bro and bio dad are mainly because my bro has cancer and is going through chemo and i want to be there for him. how do i handle both parents? i hate making my mom feel like shes losing me but shes not, and i am NOT going to stop talking to my bio dad and brother, i just want to know how i can deal with them, my mom is always getting mad now cuz im not happy here, but i never have been happy here since we moved here. all i want is to go back to my homeland. how do i love both parents without making the other feel left out or feeling like im being lost to the other parent? am i wrong for loving my biological dad and brother so much? (link)
|
Keep in mind that you are your mother's daughter, She raised you. You have just met your biological father and your brother of course it will be hard for her to except the fact that they are in the picture. You're mother may be feeling hurt, Maybe like you are drifting away from her to some level. Meeting your biological father can raise a bunch of confusion, mixed feelings etc.
I think it might be a little soon to say you love them unconditionally, However keep in mind that you just met them. They have been gone for 15 years, You are going to need more time to get to know them. I don't know the entire situation from what you said you only gave little detail..but I would be cautious for awhile. I wouldn't give yourself away just yet. A week is way to fast in my opinion to say "you love" someone. Talk to your mother, Explain to her that you love her, She is your mother and nobody will ever take that away. Remember your mother is the one that was there for you and raised you.
|
I'm 18. In high school. I live with my mom & grandma.
I've been having serious issues with granny lately. She is ALWAYS in my business. And not like typical parenting stuff.
She goes through all of my stuff.
She looks through my notebook, pulls out tests I did poorly on, and bitches to my mom about my grades. (And I'm a damn good student. One 80 isn't going to kill me) She finds dates of upcoming tests and discloses them to my mother as well (who doesn't even care to ask me about them).
If I leave the room, I have to turn my monitor off or she'll read what's on the screen.
If I have a friend over, she comes down every three seconds to see what we're doing.
I have no privacy.
She also does shit like yelling at me in front of my mom. She is desperate to be in control of the household despite the fact that she makes absolutely no money and jsut...well, lives here. When she has a problem with soemthing i did, she says "IF I WERE YOUR MOTHER, I would ____" when my mom is clearly in earshot. Indirectly telling her what to do.
She yells at me over everything. If I wear somethign she doesn't like, she yells. If I stay up late, she yells. She threatens to wake my mom up and tell on me. I wouldn't give a shit about this except:
1) my mom works two jobs and has trouble sleeping. I comply when my grandma is having a bitch fit over something minor because i think it is just TOO CRUEL to wake her up.
2) if I don't comply, my mom yells at me, angry because she was woken up, and just makes me obey my grandma so she won't have to put up with her yelling and get some sleep.
She is convinced she knows everything. It's ridiculous. She is SURE she knows my friends and their habits better than I do. "Your friends don't stay up late." "Your friends do all their work on time." "Your friends don't dress like this." "Your friends do better in school". There's no arguing with her. And she uses these "facts" against me when telling my mom on me.
She bitches at me constantly when I'm not doing work. Funny thing is, I would gladly do my work were she not bitching in the first place. It's just that her yelling stresses me out and I can't concentrate. So I put it off. But if I don't do the work, she bitches more. Which causes me to put off my work more. And so on.
She doesn't know when to leave a person alone. If I ask her to please stop talking, she doesn't. She keeps HOVERING and yelling and bitching. This, of course, angers me, until she's yelling at me and I'm yelling back at her to shut up and leave me alone. ...And then she tells my mom that I yell at innocent little her for no reason.
She causes an intense amount of stress in the house. She immediately jumps to conclusions and causes problems that shouldn't be there. Once, I got a pimple near my upper lip. She freaked out, called my mom, and told her I had herpes. My mom came home from work panicked and angry. I had to explain myself to her. This could've been avoided if she just shut up and thought RATIONALLY for a second.
She literally has a problem with EVERYTHING not done her way. It is not normal.
This shit was okay when I was younger, but I'm an adult now. I'm going off to college in a couple of months and I will NOT be able to make the transition if I have this old lady breathing down my back and controlling me 24/7.
I've tried talking to my mom about this. She doesn't listen. She only sides with me on this issue when my grandma is bitching at HER over something and telling her how to live HER life. Otherwise, it's "you have to listen to her. my house, my rules."
I'd have moved out the second I turned 18, but I don't have any money. I have like $2k in the bank. I need that for college.
How the hell do I deal with this? (link)
|
Have you sat down and talked to Grandma about how she is acting has effect on you? If not, Then I recommend doing so.
For one, This isn't just a controlling Grandma, It's invasion of privacy. Unless you have given her a damn good reason not to trust you. This is wrong, You need to talk to her, Either that or sit down with your mother and talk to her about her behavior. Sit down and explain to her how you are an adult, Let her know that you are not happy with the fact that she is invading your privacy. For all you know she might not even realize it. (I highly doubt she doesn't though) What you can do is put password protection on your computer, The way to do this is to go from the "Start" menu at the bottom..Click the "Control Panel" Enter "User Accounts" and go from there. It would really suck if you had to get a key for your bedroom door... but if that is what it leads too then let it be so.
EDIT: You might want to start looking into people who need roommates. This might be your best alternative.
|
i love my sister so much its unbelievable... its just that she is sooo mean to me. But when ever i try to be mean back shes just laughs and i feel really bad. Im so nice to her, like i respect her and do whatever she asks... but then she uses me and rats me out for everything! She even makes fun of me in public and i get really embarrased!!! I dont know what to do or the say but it really hurts me to be pushed around like this. She is older than me and is going to college next year. Im gonna miss her soo much.
i just need sum advice to not feel guilty and not be hurt by everything she says. (link)
|
The truth...
Sometimes when people are out to be a complete ass to someone and you confront them with how you truly feel about the person.
Like for example...
Your sister is mean to you, You pull her aside and express how much you love her and care about her. You're sister will simply feel like an ass. Not only has she made a fool of herself but you showed the opposite reaction as she was probably expecting. Clearly, You told her you love her, You care for her and that you look up to her. She might not know how you feel about her, Tell her and I bet you anything you'll get a reaction.
|
ok excuse me bitch but you dont know my life and for one i love my daughter very much shes my life and everything in it. so dont you be trying to talk shit about me you dumb bitch. you know nothing about me. and for one i got my advice from my doctor about inducing my labor. they give you a list of shit to do to induce your self. fucking grow up. dont fucking make accusations about people unless you know them. and if i want another child i will have one. and i was happy to have a girl. very happy!!! my dream is to have a boy and girl. i wanted my girl first. now i can have my boy in 2 years or when ever i feel like it. and you know what i love god with all my heart and he was there for me threw my whole pregnancy and he watched over my baby and me. i know damn well he appreciates how good of a mother i am. Im a big beleiver of the lord i worship him everyday. unless you know someone dont talk shit. The lord gave me this precious child because he wanted to. so obviously you dont know him to well to be talking about him. If you cared anything about him you for one wouldnt be giving advice to me as being a mother. everyone in my life wishes they were me because im the best mother they have seen. so until you know me DONT TALK SHITTT ABOUT ME AND DONT EVEN TALK TO ME!!!!! (link)
|
Okay listen
For one, You were the one asking!
2. If you "loved" your daughter SO much, Then why the hell did you even post a question mentioning how you wanted a boy? but instead you got a girl...Yeah sounds REAL convincing that you love your daughter! Mhm..so if anyone is a bitch I would really look back on YOUR situation. You sound like one of them baby mama that have nothing to do but bitch, piss and moan about how she is unhappy with the sex of her child. Go whore yourself out until you finally get a baby boy, Sounds like something you would do by the way you were talking doesn't it? Think about that
Also, I mind as well mention before you go and send me a message make sure you can cover your own ass ;)
|
I am having such a difficult time in my life right now. Mainly I am just sick of having to deal with the problems I have with my mom. And I feel like all men wants to do to me in sexualize me. Right now it really pisses me off that my mom acts like she wants to be distant from me and when she knows I am too upset she say things like I love you when the way she acts is far from that. I keep remembering what happened to us last year during new years eve that she does not care about me anymore at all . And wanted to leave me for ever . But then I am not working right now nor was I then. Cause the main reason is that I am a foreigner and I just came into this country 12 years ago. And that makes it hard for me to find employment since the only person that could fix my citizenship status to get a job is my mom. So I feel that its the only reason that I am still with her. And this feeling disgust me it just seems like all this feeling is coming from a negative place. Every time a subject comes up about my family I have to really watch what I have to say. I feel like this issue to me is so serious and I dont know where else to find help in las vegas, nv . I told her I go online for problems like this and she does not approve of it. (link)
|
Okay try to relax,
First of all, The economy these days makes it hard for everyone to get a job not just people who are coming from another country. Also, I think it would help if you sat down with your mom and tried to explain to her how you feel and how what she is doing is effecting you. Let her know that you need her and you need to support. I am also pretty sure there are places in Nevada that have places that can help you get a counselor to work with you. One of the places we have in my state that helps people is (South Shore) they are great and the provide therapist and counselors to those who need it. Talk to your mom and ask her if she can help you set up a goal.
|
14-female
so the other week i had a dream i was pregnant and i obviously wasnt cause it was a drea but ever since then i cant stop thinking about being pregnant an sometimes i tend to sick pillows up my jumper to see how it feels to have a baby bump. is this normal i dont know what to do help ? (link)
|
You need to keep telling yourself YOU ARE WAY TO YOUNG. I really think you should try spending time with someone that has a few kids and maybe then you will change your mind. Babies are cute yes, but they are MUCH more than just cuteness. Cribs alone cost 100 and up, Then you got the car seat that is 100 and up also...Then Formula, diapers, clothes, stroller, toys, and a million other things. Not to mention babies need regular doctors checkups and that if you don't have medical insurance is very expensive. They cry whenever they please and even if this means 2,3,4 in the morning. You need to get that out of your mind, You are just a kid. In my opinion people really should not be having children unless they are a good age and that means OVER 18. Have a good job (not minimum wage) A car, Their own place and have a steady relationship and by that meaning (Dating more than a year) Babies are forever, You can't get bored of them because once you have them they are YOUR responsibility. They are not a puppy where you can take care of it and leave it alone for a few hours. The baby will ALWAYS be there, When your sick and dead tired that baby will always need care.
You are young, You are not ready to have a baby. Enjoy life as a teenager and get yourself through High School.
|
I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and i still have a hard time wanting to go spend time with his family. They are very nice people and very welcoming. but i just feel that a couple members of his family are really judgemental. I've noticed them sometimes look me up and down to see what im wearing. and they have money, so what they wear is really nice, classy, pretty, whatever. I'm not rich, i wear jeans and a tee shirt most of the time. I want to spend more time with his family but every time i do i just feel like they are judging me. Usually i dont ever worry about that but with his family i am extremely worried. How can i stop worrying about what they think? I want to be more comfortable with going over to his house without worrying about what im going to wear cuz his family will look at me and judge what i look like. (link)
|
Relax,
Not everyone has the money to look like Angelina Jolie. First, Just be yourself. No matter where we go there are always going to be somebody that is judgmental and for all you know your assumptions could be wrong. It doesn't matter if you are a rich girl, poor girl, fat, ugly, purple with blue hair the point is you are their son's girlfriend and as long as you make him happy then that is all that should matter to you. It isn't about what their parents think, It's about you and your boyfriend. Also as I can say from personal experience and from what I have heard other people say not every one likes their spouses parents but sometimes you just need to learn to except the way they are and respect that. If you want to over come this then all you can do is try to be nice and get to know them.
|
I am 26 years old and having problems with my stepmom for at least 15 years. She continues to make negative remarks about my mother. I have tolerated her as long as I feel I can. I would like to have a relationship with my father, but he always sticks up for her. My sister told me of my stepmoms most recent remarks. I need some opinions of how I can calmly approach my dad without putting my sister in the middle and at the same time getting him to understand where I am coming from. Any ideas would really help. (link)
|
You have pretty much nailed the same exact situation I went through 5 months ago.
You need to have a one on one sit down with your father, Tell him calmly how the situation makes you feel when your step mom talks about your mother. The truth is we can only tell someone something so many times before our words are just going in one ear and out the other. If your father refuses to listen to you, or even take your words for consideration or better yet talk to his wife about the matter.. then as hard as it is to except it looks like he has made up his mind as what he wants. I also have sister as well and everything you said above is exactly what my sister and I had to put up with. We have approached my father and my stepmother on several occasions even tried changing the subject but it never seemed to make the matter any better. If your father can't tell his wife to knock it off then clearly his wife must have him wrapped around his finger. My father on the other hand choose his wife over his daughters...and sometimes that is just the way it is and there is not much we can do or say.
|
I'm 18 now, but my parents and I have stopped getting along so well since I was about 15. I miss it terribly.
They always say they're so good to me because they're always giving me things (it's true). I really do appreciate those things but I want more than material things from them. I want to feel loved. I want hugs and kisses and long talks about school and boys.
I'm always a little depressed over this. I know sometimes I give them a bit of an attitude because of this frustration. I want to explain to them that I need more than things bought for me. I want to develop a good relationship with them again.
How do I explain this to my parents? (link)
|
Sit down and talk to them, Tell your parents that you have something that has been bothering you for a long time and you really need to talk about it. Then start the conversation off by "Mom, Dad..lately I have been feeling depressed because I feel like we our relationship and communication is not as strong as it used to be" etc. Then explain to them what you want to change. Basically everything you said above is pretty much what you need to tell them.
|
|