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Problem with stepmom
I am 26 years old and having problems with my stepmom for at least 15 years. She continues to make negative remarks about my mother. I have tolerated her as long as I feel I can. I would like to have a relationship with my father, but he always sticks up for her. My sister told me of my stepmoms most recent remarks. I need some opinions of how I can calmly approach my dad without putting my sister in the middle and at the same time getting him to understand where I am coming from. Any ideas would really help.
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You have pretty much nailed the same exact situation I went through 5 months ago.
You need to have a one on one sit down with your father, Tell him calmly how the situation makes you feel when your step mom talks about your mother. The truth is we can only tell someone something so many times before our words are just going in one ear and out the other. If your father refuses to listen to you, or even take your words for consideration or better yet talk to his wife about the matter.. then as hard as it is to except it looks like he has made up his mind as what he wants. I also have sister as well and everything you said above is exactly what my sister and I had to put up with. We have approached my father and my stepmother on several occasions even tried changing the subject but it never seemed to make the matter any better. If your father can't tell his wife to knock it off then clearly his wife must have him wrapped around his finger. My father on the other hand choose his wife over his daughters...and sometimes that is just the way it is and there is not much we can do or say.
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Simply tell him that while you want to have a relationship with him, you will no longer put up with his wifes immature remarks about your mom.
Tell him you are not going to argue with him about it. Thats just the way it is going to be. Period.
Better yet, tell them both at the same time.
It would be even better if your sister went along with you & you both made a stand. As long as one of you is allowing it to continue, it probably will.
Good luck.
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