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How do I know if my boyfriend is just using me?

Question Posted Friday February 19 2010, 3:18 am

I've been dating this guy for almost a month now and he seems to be a pretty good guy but things about him make me think he is only using me. He keeps hinting to me that he wants me to suck him off or have sex with him and it's getting pretty annoying. At first I thought he was just kidding around with me but now he brings it up every single day!

He also always bums a few dollars off of me every day for snacks near lunchtime. I wouldn't mind but he doesn't say he's going to pay me back. He doesn't really come from a wealthy family though.

He's nice to me though and always makes a point to tell me he cares about me. He hugs me every morning when we see eachother at school and he sits with me at lunch. He doesn't really talk to me even if he's sitting with me though. He always has his friends around at times like that so I don't even know some of the basics about him like his favorite food, movie, or book.

I'm just kind of torn about this situation. Is he using me or is it just early in the relationship? Should I tell him to stop talking about having sex with me and that I'm not going to do it or what? Should I stop giving him money for snacks and tell him he needs to bring his own cash? I don't want to be mean but I don't want to be stepped all over...

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THE-RACK answered Friday February 19 2010, 9:11 pm:
Hey, so i wouldnt say he is necesarily using you, he probably just thinks since you are his gf you dont mind giving him some change for lunch if he doesnt have the money. And you do keep giving it to him, so that gives him the impression that you dont care. And him hinting about sex is probably to get a reaction from you, basically like wether your down for it or not, but he may do it in a kidding around way. Boys will be boys, but girls should still be girls, so respect your self and your wishes by not doing anything you do not want to do. You can tease him by going along with what hes saying, like "ohh yeahh, mhm definitely, NOT! [then laugh]" or you can be serious and tell him your not ready. lol About the knowing the basics of him, well there are some people I have known for years and am friends with and I still dont know their favorite anything lol That's all little stuff though, the important stuff matter, like who they are and about their life.
Next time he asks for money say you dont have any, and definitely give this kid a shot, its not worth breaking up over something not that serious, tell me how everything goes.

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sunshine1232 answered Friday February 19 2010, 6:59 pm:
You should say to him that he shouldn't pressure you
into doing something and that he should take things slow & shouldn't rush also it's early in your relationship for the both of you to be having sex
see what he says if your lucky he'll admit that he's
kidding around & joking with you boys act obnoxious and maybe his hormones are raging as far as the money issue is concerned you should see if he stops asking you for it & if he doesn't then that's when you confront him about it or stop giving him money & see if he says something to you i don't think your being used by him your best option is to confront him he won't know unless you tell him what's bothering you(:

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lovealways1221 answered Friday February 19 2010, 2:45 pm:
its obviously bugging you. so you should tell him that. you want a relationship with a person who will openly tell you anything, and you guys can resolve it. so you need to talk to him one day, alone, without his friends and just plain out say everything you just said on here. You dont want to have sex, you can't buy him food everyday, and he doesnt talk to you when you guys hang out. tell him whats on your mind and whats bugging you.

then once you've talked to him, stick with him for a few more days/weeks. see if anything has changed. if nothing has changed after you've talked with him.. he's not the person for you. drop him. he's using you then. if he does change however, keep mentioning the things that bug you (but be careful not to do it too many times, otherwise he might think you complain too much).

good luck!

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