My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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Im 13 i dont have a dad he left 4 years ago. Im not close with my family no matter how hard I try to be. Things are getting bad with my mom. Shes compulsive. Shes obsessed with her house. For example if i need something (clothes, things for school which i dont ask for these things alot) she always says she doesnt have the money yet she bought a $3500 floor & now shes getting our entire outside of the house done. And she just got a new floor 3 months ago and the outside of the house redone last summer. Shes just blowing money she claims she doesnt have. I cant live at home cuz she yells at me for everything. If i walk on the carpet after she vacums i get yelled at & its the same thing if i get finger prints on the mirror. its stupid. And im sick of being yelled at all night and day. Sometimes she starts with me at like 2:00 in the morning. I cant live with her & sometimes she comes into the room yelling at me & doesnt tell me wat i did wrong. My friends agree that shes compulsive. & i dont know who to turn to cuz my entire family always takes her side. I dont know wat to do. She hits me sometimes but not all the time. I cry in a closet frequently because things are getting worse by the day. i try to stay at a friends house but she yells more. i dont no wat 2 do now. (link)
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You really need to find an adult that you can confide in. If you have a family member you could go to, please talk to them. If not, do you have a school counsellor or a favourite teacher? I suggest that you go and talk to them as soon as you can. It may be that your Mum needs professional help with her compulsions and without help they may get worse.
I know that it will be difficult to talk to other people about your Mum, but you need help and you need guidance on how to help her.
Please go and see someone as soon as you can and please don't worry about your Mum's reaction because she may not realise how bad things are for you.
I wish you all the best and life does get better as you get older and more in control of your own destiny.
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I have this thing with my parents having sex when i am home its never happened but i am always it will. they havent done it for awhile i knwo this for a fact. but this all started when i went through my moms inbox & my dad her were sending txt messages that said " do me" "blow me" "lick me" i comfronted my mom about this & she said it was a joke but now i have grown father apart. i just dont know what to do i balled my eyes out i can tell you this. PLEASE HELP!! what do i do do i tell her it still upsets me? (link)
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I totally agree with Southern-Chickety's advice. It is none of your business what your parents get up to in private and you have no right to question her about it. You certainly had no business going through their personal things. Imagine if your Mum went through your personal things. I suggest that you apologise to her for invading her privacy.
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My dad told me that, he sees his girlfriend's daughter who's in my grade basically more then me. I mean, it wasn't my fault my parents got divorced in the first place I was like 2. Anyway, I havn't seen him in 3 months,
I feel so guilty for not seeing him. And I miss him, a lot. I've cried a couple times. And I want to see him, but everytime I'm about to call him, I keep hearing all this stuff about his girlfriend's daughter (Who happens to be in my grade, and gorgeous but really mean).
Anyways, my life kind of feels like a cinderella story but different. I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything. I just don't know how to talk to him about it, I feel like he doesn't love me. I don't really even know him.
Any adivice before I start like, balling on Fathers day?! (link)
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If you feel that talking to him would only end in your tears, why not write him a letter from your heart. Tell him what you are feeling and what you would like from him. He needs to know that you are important in his life and that you want a relationship with him. Invite him to meet you on neutral ground for a cup of coffee or something to eat and ask him how he feels about what you wrote. You need some answers and only he can give them. I wish you all the best.
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Can anyone be very DETAILED in answering: would you allow your child to go on a stay away from home visit - with ANYONE whom you do NOT know where they live, or whom they live with? (link)
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When it comes to my children I want to know everything I can about who they would be staying with. I definitely would never allow her to go on a stayover if I didn't know where she was and who she was with. The adult is the one who has to make these decisions, not the child. The other people may be very nice BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW FOR SURE. Safety is paramount because once a deed is done, it cannot be undone. If you have to be the horrible, mean adult here so be it. Good luck.
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ok so i have a problem...im 13 and my parents say im not allowed to date until im 16! this is a HUGE problem for me because every1 i know has been on a date before and i havent.also i really want to ask thiis 1 guy out and im not sure if i should because im not allowed to date. HELP PLEASE!!
(im a girl) (link)
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It may sound really harsh but they only have your best interests at heart. They may trust you completely but have a problem with trusting other people. Your Dad will remember what it's like being that age and so will your Mum.
You will probably need to start by going out in a big group of people - boys and girls. Always make sure that they know who you are going with, where you are going and when you will be back and make sure you stick to it. It may seem like an intrusion but believe me it works by earning their trust and the more they do, the less restrictions they will put on you.
If there is one special person, you could slowly introduce his name into your conversations about school and life in general. After a while you could ask if a group of your friends including him could come over for an afternoon/evening to watch TV or listen to music. Introduce him to your parents as a close friend but not a boyfriend and let them get to know him before you start dating.
I know three years seems like a lifetime especially if all your friends seem to have more freedom, but it does pass really quickly. If you can appear to be mature and understanding of their worries and take into account their boundaries, you may be pleasantly surprised to find they will meet you halfway. Whatever you do, don't throw a strop and act like a little girl because that will only reinforce their opinion that you are too young to have a bit of independence. Good luck.
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my dad is cheating on my mom, but it seems like she doesn't know. i've known for a few years; i was 12 when i first stumbled upon my dad's emails to someone. i'm 15 now, and i still don't know who she is, but i think it's becoming more serious. i saw him on a cellphone company's site, and i know that we don't use that company, so i think he has another cell that he uses with her, or maybe he's paying her bill for her. also, the other day i saw that he saved the Coach site on his favorites, and i wondered why, because he and my mom are always insisting that designer items aren't always the best. then last night, i saw him writing out checks for bills and i commented that it seems so boring to do that, so i picked the bill up and i saw that he'd paid $176 for something from the Coach site. it was bought about 3 weeks ago, and i'm positive that it's not for me or my mom because she'd be mad if he "spoiled" me with it, and she wouldn't want it anyway. there's been so much proof already that i'm willing to bet my life that he's cheating. my problem now is that i don't know how to tell my mom. i don't even want to tell her, because i don't know what i'd do if they got divorced. i broke up with my boyfriend last summer and i spent so many months depressed, even to the point of cutting myself at times. i don't think i can survive if they split; i'm an only child, and i've always relied on them for support. and after i find out these stupid damn things that he's doing, i wish that i didn't know because it hurts me insanely. my mom works so hard to keep this family happy and this is how my dad repays her? i get so angry when i see him, but no matter what, he's still my dad, and eventually i feel guilty for being angry. also, i don't know if i should confront him about this. he might get mad at me for being too nosy. i'm just so confused and hurt and angry at everything. none of my aunts and uncles have problems like this; they're all so loving with each other. i just can't stand my dad doing this!!! please help me. and i'm sorry this was so long. (link)
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I am so sorry to hear that you are such an awful dilemma. Unless you are absolutely 100% sure that your Dad is being unfaithful, I don't suggest telling your Mum.
It also might seem like a good idea to ignore what appears to be going on. However, the best thing I can suggest is to say to your Dad that you feel he does not appear to be completely happy at home and is there anything that you can do to help him. He will probably deny that anything is wrong or that he is doing anything untoward. It is a very difficult situation for you to be in and I would urge caution at all times. I wish that I could give you an answer that will solve all your problems, but I cannot. Your parents have to live their own lives even if it does affect you directly. Your Mum may or may not be aware that something is going on but it is not your place to tell her unless she is in imminent danger of being hurt.
You should however confide in someone that you totally trust. For instance a teacher, school counsellor, your preacher or an aunt/uncle that you can talk to and voice your concerns in a safe way. Make sure that they realise what you tell them is in total confidence and not to be shared with anyone else.
If you feel that it is all getting too much for you to bear alone, even if you have tried talking it through with another person, ask your Dad if you could have a confidential chat with him about your concerns. If he is not being unfaithful, you can apologise for doubting him, and if he is playing around, tell him that you cannot keep his secret and if he does not tell your Mum, you will have to let her know. (Please use that threat with extreme caution if it comes to it).
I hope that by talking it through with me you are able to see that there is always someone to listen to your concerns and will try to help if they can. Please don't try to deal with this alone and if possible, talk to your school counsellor. I wish you all the very best.
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well a few minutes ago my mom went to go get a mri and she came back with the results and something was weird on her neck and i jokingly said it was throat cancer and she said and what if i found out it as and i said i would be on top of the world because i meant it as oh wow im smart you know like wow what a guess. but she took it thge wrong way and then i relized what i had said wrong and now she wont talk to me or do anytihng for me n she said you don't want me as a mother and don't ever say that again i said i was sorry and what i meant but she is acting like she hates me what can i do for her to stop hateing me (link)
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Your Mum isn't really listening to how you are saying things. All she can probably hear is "death sentence" and "how the hell am I going to cope?" or "what am I going to tell the kids/partner/friends/family?".
She has a lot on her mind and it will take her a little while to work through everything that she is feeling emotionally. I don't think she will come back down to ground until the results are in. All I can suggest you do is stay in the background and be as supportive as you possibly can. She is not angry at you, she is angry at circumstances. She is hating what her MRI may or may not show up.
You have apologised and once she can focus again I am sure she will realise your 'faux pas' as it were. I am very guilty of the foot in mouth syndrome and having to apologise that what came out of my mouth was not meant as it sounded.
When the results are back, whether good or bad news, your Mum will fall apart. She will need comforting and kind actions. You are a good person and you will know what she needs instinctively. I wish you both the very best of luck at this worrying time.
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My dad left a few years ago and i want to find him his name is Andrew Green i think his middle name is george but i dont know for sure he used to live in LEIGH ON SEA ESSEX my mum tells me he moved to norfolk but im not sure again i also have a old vodafone mobile phone bill of his from 1999 if this will help me if and body knows him or can help me find him reply to this question or e-mail me liamharvey1994@hotmail.co.uk thanks ppl (link)
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Contact your local Salvation Army Hall. They are absolutely fantastic when it comes to finding people. They found my Uncle in Australia (we live in England.) Try to put together as many details as possible for them. Good luck.
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15/f
ok i have temper tandrums so i have alot anger built up inside me any way to get my anger out before i expode b/c between skool, my boifriend, my mama life has been close to hell so plz help thanx (link)
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It would help if you could channel all that pent up emotion in a physical way. Is it possible to join a kick-boxing club or martial arts club where you live?
They will also be able to offer you help with controlling your anger and emotions. The discipline needed can set you up for life if you take it seriously.
If you are having problems with your boyfriend and your mum, you perhaps need to sit down and discuss these with them without exploding. If that is not possible write it all down and ask them to read what has been written (separately).
Take little steps to begin with and once your self-esteem and and self-worth are back, that's when life will become sweet again. All the best.
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I don't live with my little sister anymore because she now lives with my dad from about a year ago. I really mean a lot to her because my dad says everytime she hears my voice she crys because she misses me so much. It was her birthday on the 29th and i forgot to call her. I feel really guilty and i really want to make up to her. I havent spoken to her yet. What can i do about it? what can i buy her? shes 10 by the way...but she is very mature.
thankz in advance (link)
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Honesty is always the best policy. Explain the truth to her and also say that you will make it up to her. Buy her something that she can keep and then write a little note with it saying that it comes from your heart to hers and every time she wears/uses it she will know how much you love her. Take time out to ring her at least once a week and send her emails/letters with funny stories or jokes. Sometimes the smallest gesture has the biggest impact.
Tell your sister that you will always be there for her and perhaps come up with a secret word that she can use if she needs help.
She is very precious and will make a considerable difference to your life. Cherish her the very best you can. All the best.
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Theres this boy named kyle =) .. he is amazing i love him soo much he means the world 2 me (L) ..
But he doesnt love me =( .. He has blocked me on msn he says i annoy him :^)(U) .. but the grls sed b4 tha he sed he lyked me but i think they were lying (N) ..
I love him soo much not having him in my life makes me feel lyk sum1 is pushing a knife through my heart :^)(U) ..
He has got a girlfriend i hate her :@ ..
i jus want him in my life .. my lifes not living without him :^)(U)
W.b (link)
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You cannot make another person love you. I suggest that you back off from contacting him for a while. Make your social life as interesting and fun as you can to take your mind off him.
Sometimes people can be quite perverse (i.e. wanting what they can't have) so I suggest letting this boy see that you can have a great life without him. He may well decide that because you are ignoring him, he wants what he can't have - you.
However, if he really does not want to go out with you, forget him and find something who is worthy of your attention.
Good luck.
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this winter break i really want to go to canada with my friend and her older brother and his friends. we would all stay in a condo and go skiing and just like have fun and stuff...but i don't think my parents will let me because they're soo strict. any ways to help me convince them to let me go?
oh and i'm almost 17/f and so is my friend. her brother and his friends are like 19ish and in college if you needed that info.
thanks (link)
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Your real age will count against you. However, the best advice I can offer is for you all to meet together with everyones parents. That way your parents will have the chance to discuss rules and safety should they consider letting you go. They will also be able to assess whether or not the lads you will be going with are suitable. It will really all depend on how reliable you are and how honest and truthful you have been in the past.
If you do manage to persuade your parents, have a great holiday.
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ok i moved out of my moms house and in with my aunt and unkle things are usually ook when my unkles gone but when hes around my aunt and unkle feed off eachother and theres alot of tenssion ontop of that they dont give me alot of freedom like today i asked to go down the street to my cousins house and because i was sick 3 weeks ago they said no! so should i move back in with my mom who lets me do whatever i want and get stuck with the house work and takin care of my bratty lil sis and my addorible kid brother or stay with my aunt and unkle and deal with the unfairness and rediculess rules and chore list??? HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!! (link)
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My advice is take a piece of paper and write down all the things you like about living at home and then all the things you don't like. Then do the same about living with your Aunt and Uncle.
If the good things outweigh the bad living with your own family then stay there. If, on the other hand, you learn that living with your Aunt and Uncle come out on top stay there.
Only you can decide in the long run where you feel more comfortable and only you can make this decision. Base it on facts and you will get a better outcome.
Decide also whether it would be more beneficial to your siblings to stay at home too.
You can make up your own rules to stick to if you decide to live with your Mum. You don't have to do whatever you please all the time. You will be an adult in two years time and will be totally in control of your own life. Good luck.
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13/F
OMFG! I'm sick and tired of putting up with my dad! i hate him soo much! he's stupid and I'd wished he'd DIE! He's thrown me outside for saying goodnight, hes hit me for no reason, called me stupid names and menso(stupid) and a whole bunch of other stuff! My question is, How can I get him to divorce my mom?! how can I gt rid of him SOON?!?!?!? PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!! I hate him more than I hate the devil! if that's put in better words!!!!!!!!! UGGGH!!!! (link)
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You can't force him to divorce your mum but you can stop him from hitting you. However, that would mean involving the authorities - are you prepared to go that far? Some people are just plain bullies and he sounds like one to me. You need to get another adult involved in this so if you have an aunt/uncle/school counsellor etc. who would be prepared to stand up for you, then I suggest talking to them. If he realises how serious this situation is then perhaps he will change his attitude towards you. You need to speak out and loudly. All the best.
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can my parents get him arrested do they even have a say so in my life (link)
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No your parents cannot have your boyfriend arrested unless he is physically abusive to themselves. You are an adult and they do not really have a say in your life, but if you are living with them you will find it easier to abide by their house rules. However, do they have any reason to fear for your safety? Ask them to sit down with you and point out their reasons for their concern if they do. If they have some valid points, please take note of what they are saying. If they are just being over-protective then there is not a lot you need to do except to gently point out to them it is your life and you need to make any decisions for yourself, right or wrong, and live with the consequences. Best of luck.
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my mom wont let me get my belly button peirced.
im 14 & i want it done.
how cna i get it done w.out her finding out
please&thankyou (link)
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Sorry, but it is not a good idea to go behind your Mom's back. She will find out eventually and any trust you had between you will be gone. If you really want that look, try using a fake one for now and have a piercing when you are 16 or older. It will be worth the wait to keep your Mom's trust.
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thank you elcee for you help. at this time i really need some kind of support because i never find it at home. my father turned my mother into what she is now. when someone makes a mistake by god i swear to you he is willing to cut their heads of. so my mother is this irresponsible person that dsnt want to get involved in anything to avoid him, and in these recent years when we are all older, us. so my mother is not so much a mother as much as a representation for the outer world. my sibs are masters of domestic politics.. my best friend is mad at me too. sooooo mad because i lied and said that everything i did was a lie that i told to impress her. which is not true she accepts me for me! and my older sister forbade me from ever talking to her so now i am all alone in this world. i admit i do not like the person i have grown into but i knw if i just fix everything and start again i can grow to like myself and never do any mistakes again without getting away from the fam, because for the longest time that is what i wanted and i blamed them for everything. just an hour ago my father yelled at us all because my sister was being a chauvinistic noble idiot about staying at my brother and sister in laws place on the way to college. she says the house is too tite and our sis in law is pregnant and not in the mood to play hostess which is fine i agree because we are not really close to my sister in lwa. but she dealt with it stupidly and she ended up making my brother angry at his wife and putting my mom as the front and then involving my dad and making him yell at everyone... so now my sis cant go anywhere near college (no education for now but my dad will come around i'm sure) and because of that she is threatening o say what i did..... she keeps saying she will wen ever i get involved in anything including things that concern me. i cant forget the past and move on she wont let me! i want to find a counselor but now my every move is watched! she says i cozzed everything today. its not true i tried to calm things so she dsnt get in trouble since my mom and dad are both mad at her . to be honest her righteousness and her quest to impress them by never doing anything worg or doing the rite thing brot this on her. so now she is more mad thinking that i am the one who did a mistake and IAM THE ONE WHO should be punished. i toldddd her a million time i promise to change its not enough. she is so rude. i swear ruder than you can imagine, when i went to the room she got so angry and threatened to be violent and she shoved me. i am really hurt. and i cant talk to anyone because they think i am a social manipulator and anything i say is not believed. I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE! i hate this situation! how do i get out .... because of the white lies i cant risk getting in deeper and explaining myself and the truth so i dnt get cot, things are still vague. i dont know what they know either, and if i say something its gunna be worse, and i am not even talking about telling my parents.... tho i considered it. but as i've sed it means my mom getting beat up and divorced (which is not good its a social death here and thus financial and everything else) and my sibs will get beaten up so much, and my dad will tell the whole town and we will be condemned. and i won't be living to see this so its worse for my family! my older sister is sooooo mad at me. so i cant talk to her. i dont have any friends anymore because all the westerns think its just weired and i am wired.... as i've sed i chose the wrong crowd....i really cant clear my conscience and i've never felt this guilty or this bad before! how do i solve this?? please please help me i really need someone...... (link)
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It must be a very difficult situation for you and I have to be honest and say that I do not understand your culture too well (Turkey). What I believe is that girls are subservient (supposedly) to the men - sorry if that is not true) therefore it seems to me that your father rules you all with a rod of iron. At 24 you should be old enough to go out into the world and make a life for yourself. Is there any possibility that you could arrange to leave home and live in another town? Are you allowed to get a job and earn your own living? At 24 you are considered to be an adult and can make your own decisions, but as I explained I do not know your culture, maybe you cannot leave until you are married. Your sister may well spill the beans on you out of spite and if she does then you may have to consider leaving home anyway. Are there any organisations that could help you? Also you are not responsible for your Mum being beaten up by your father.
As for your best friend, sit her down and explain to her exactly what is going on in your life. Don't lie and don't gloss over the facts. Try to get her to see things from your persepective and maybe she could help you move on.
This is a very difficult question to answer and I wish that I could wave a magic wand but I can't. You do have to accept that you made some bad decisions, but you have learnt from them. There is not one single person in this whole world who hasn't made a mistake and has had to deal with the consequences. Always look the world in the eye and admit you are human and make mistakes. It is how you deal with them afterwards that shape your future. Good luck.
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Hi, i live in Saint Louis MO. Last night my mom was down by the arch around 10pm. As she was walking up the steps, some people, i don't know how many or the genders, beat her with a bat. they hit both sides of her head and her face and eye. They beat her in the back and on her butt. They also cut her hands with a knife. Luckily she did not break a bone, only pain and bruses. She just fell down the steps because of the hospital pants she was wearing. I'm really upset, and i need some incouriging words for both me and my mom. so i looked to advicentors, please help. (link)
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By being there for your Mom will be the best thing for her. It was an awful thing to go through and I am so glad that she was not seriously hurt or worse. She needs to be able to express her anxieties about her ordeal and if you can listen and talk to her, that will be a great help. There are a few practical things she can do as well like using an alarm to summon help if she feels nervous in future, she needs to have reported this incident, and if there is anything that could have been done to make this less likely to occur in the future for instance travelling to and from work in pairs. You will also be feeling a little vulnerable too and may feel more secure taking steps to ensure that you are safe whilst out and about. Carry an alarm also to summon help and go to defence classes to learn how to protect yourself. Unfortunately this world seems to be going from bad to worse with offenders getting away with total murder (In England an 11 year old boy was shot dead yesterday by another youth. He was playing football in a car park!). I hope that my advice helps in some small way. Take care and tell your Mom that there are a lot of good people out there too.
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f/24/turkey
i hate her so much. i really hate her. i hate her i hate her i hate her.....
i use to be miss "gold" when it comes to us two in the fam (since we are not the only two, but are the youngest).... i had big mistakes now and then, enough to make my parents kill me but my older sis use to think i was just dumb and naive.... which probably i was..... anyway i went to a college near school (so i still lived with the fam) and had like a split personality here and there... nothing too drastic though... i loved my friends but i always felt insecure about how much they loved me... i mean i find myself being extra nice and going out of my way to do things that are "nothing" for them and not for my fam..... i knw how stupid. its just that as a kid i grew up in a different country and went to an all girls school (althrough elementary!) and i couldn't deal with how the kids were.... at home i was something there i was something else... don't even get me started on that. basically in order to fit i needed to become someone different in both places and sadly neither was me.... so as i grew i learned that the common thing between all social pools was that if you were nice you fit in. youre happy... i discovered this in my first year of college when i got a bit of freedom away from mum and dads microscope.... it sorta became a bad habit too. and i became addicted to it..... my grades and dedication went down (i was valedictorian... and now i have 60s....) i didnt want to continue in premed and i started to lead a hedonistic life..... plus my older sibs moved away and they were such a big part of my life....we did everything together.... and now i was stuck with my bitter younger sister who hated my life of hedonism and who loathed every ounce of my existence... she leaves the room if i am around she shuts the door in my face if i come knocking... she says i am such an air-head blond wannabe... i am not bubbly or ashlee simpson... but i am not hillary clinton either.... i am just me....
well i never did anything wrong in my life until last winter... when she finally got out of highschool we both went away for college.... my hedonism phase reached its peek then... and she discovered the crazy things that i've done and told.... and at first i was so mad at her because i got in so much trouble... and i can't afford that for many reasons so i sorta contained things by putting in a couple of white lies.
she treats my like shes older and that i am dirt and that i am beneath her class or level... i see it in her eyes every time she looks at me. mom took us to a flea market in our home town she began to act all snobby and was yelling at my mom to leave because there were flies and it smelt. she thinks she's better than everyone...
she embarrasses me everywhere we go (because there is conflict when family me is faced with outside-world me)... my older sis who is now so mad at me and believes that all the times she protected me i took advantage of her teamed up with this sis i hate and they manipulate each other. i don't think i can match them. and i know. I KNOW! that my younger sis has it in her agenda to destroy me if it meant not risking herself... but it does so she just makes me trip on my own crap by manipulating everything.
she has a bad bad habit as well... she snoops into peoples business and says she has nothing to do with anything.... she snoops into the maid's life, my life, my dad's life to see if he is cheating!
i mean i admit we are a very dysfunctional family (and i partly admit i blame my need for friends and people on them for making me feel that i should hide everything from them not the outside world) but why is she so determined to make me like her otherwise she won't respect me!????
i am tiered of this. i have no one. my friends won't talk to me because i had to explain a really embarrassing situation to them (i don't want to make this question any longer so i won't get into that).
i am just so confused. and i am afraid the dual me is firing back. i dont want my parents to find out who i am outside or vice versa...
i am not sure who i am either....
before this hedonistic era in my life... i was questioning everything and i was even telling my sister (older) how i am worried about how i am loosing sight of what is right... i know if i had my younger sister as a friend (who is nice not bitter!) i wouldn't need the outer world... i am so confused and worried... i messed up big..... i don't know what those "friends" i tried to explain to my problem think... they just ignored my emails (since we are not in the same towns for summer and i cdnt tell them in person).... to be honest they are bad people... and i only hung out with them for the 'fun' they brought along... and that lasted an hour or two? anyway so i tried explaining the situation (in my culture the above is not normal... trust me if mum and dad know how "americanized" i've gotten i am fried)... i hate them so much. so now i am stuck under their mercy and hoping they dont say the truth. and the mercy of my sibs for not finding out and telling the parents...... i hate my sister! its all her fault for snooping........ for the record its nothing like sex or some shit like that, i just stirred away from modesty.... i am still a virgin and proud, the only time i thought about loosing it was when i thought my hymen broke when i fell once and thought to hell there is no point when all evidence is gone... and that drove me partly to confessing my love to this guy (who i knew subconsciously was gay... probably coz i knw he was i told him coz i knew it was hopeless... most of my pursuits are that way... now that ba***** has been ignoring me even when i sent him a msg about my problem) but when i realized its still there i just flipped 180 degrees back and retained my old values and confidence....
i dont knw what to do! i learned my lesson!! but i am afraid life wont let me go that easily... my sister wont... i will get cought.... help!!
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You need to forgive yourself and let go of the past. Whilst you are still beating yourself up about your hedonism, your sister can still get to you. Do you think it is possible that she may be a little jealous of your free living in the past? I feel that talking to her won't make much difference but I suggest that talking to someone outside of your family will make a big difference to how you view yourself and your relationship with your sister. There is no need to for you to continually try to and apologise for what has happened because you can't change it. What you can do is learn from your experiences and hold your head up high. You have come through all this unscathed and you have a lot to offer other people. Please try to find a counsellor that will put everything into perspective for you. I wish you all the very best and if I can help you further please let me know. Take care.
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im a 14/f and i know if youre gonna read this youre gonna be like wow
but i was wondering how i can convince my mom to have a sleep over with a guy
i probably wouldnt have it alone just us two cause i know my mom would say no right away
but im almost 15
and and seeems like all the other people get to
me and my mom have a pretty good relationship
but i was wondering how i can convice her?
oh and im not the type of girl that would be fucking him either haha
its just like a friend kinda thinggg. (link)
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It is highly unlikely that your Mom will allow you to have a sleepover with a guy. My eldest daughter is 20 and I will not allow her to have her boyfriend in with her over night. He is allowed to stay but in a separate room. I know that they are together but this is my house and she obeys my rules. I also have a younger child to consider in all this. Having said all that though, your Mom may be very open-minded and will allow it to happen. However, the chances are extremely slim. There is nothing I can say that will enable you to convince her to allow it so you may have to be a little more patient before it happens.
Perhaps if you had a sleepover with a lot of people in the same room which would be more acceptable.
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