Erinn_the_bamf's advice column | Erinn_the_bamf's Advice About Random Weirdos

Unless the girl is in a relationship with another girl, there really is no way to tell. Contrary to popular belief, there are no "signs" of homosexuality. A gay girl will probably let you know if she's gay. Though some gay girls choose to dress stereotypically "dyke-y" this does not accurately suggest someone's sexuality. Unless they verbalize what gender they prefer, you really don't know anything.

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I have never been drunk in my life, and id appreciate it if the only people who wud answer this are people who got drunk, when your drunk, do you know what your doing? do you remember it later on? like lets say some guy is with a girl,and he makes out with someone and says "i was drunk i didnt know what i was doing" is that ever true? cause i hear it ALOT, and then i hear people get calls from their exes when thyre drunk and telling them they miss them and they love them, are drunken words sober thoughts? im LOST.lol

Generally speaking, when you're drunk you know what you're doing. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, so things that are a bad idea seem OK. You are aware of what you're doing, but you aren't really considering the consequences or implications of your actions.

There's a saying that goes "you wouldn't eat your own shit if you were drunk." What that means is, you have a fairly good idea of what you're doing. You know you're making out with someone, you just don't consider what might happen afterwards. I have seen people so drunk I wasn't sure if they actually knew what was going on, but at that point you would be so incoherent you couldn't make out with anyone anyway. Personally, I've never been nearly that drunk.

I don't really think drunken words are sober thoughts. Drinking makes you feel some things you wouldn't normally feel otherwise.

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16F

The most important person in my life passed away this week, and I plan her funeral if I can get a ride.

She was a teacher I had my freshman year of high school. And I'm not exactly sure what to wear, mostly shoes.

I already plan on going out and finding a black dress to wear. If I can't find an appropriate one, a dress that starts off as a light grey and works it's way down to black with a black cardigan.

Jewlery; I plan on either wearing this long gold/black dream catcher necklace, or a short choker-like silver owl necklace.

Now shoes, I have absolutely no idea. For my grams funeral back in 08, I wore these black converse-looking flats my mom approved of. But flat absolutely tear up the backs of my feet. I was thinking maybe black wedges? I considered heels but I didn't want them going through the dirty and me falling all around.

I always have my toesnails and finger nails painted, and I planned on painting them a very dark, almost black purple.

Any tips, anything I definitely SHOULD NOT wear?
But mainly, I really need help with the shoes. I've only been to two funerals in my life. One when I was like six, and my grams in 08. So I'm clueless.

I am so sorry for your loss. Recently, a classmate of mine passed away. I wore a black skirt, black shirt, and black kitten heels to her funeral. I'm used to walking in heels so I did not have an issue. I'd say go simple with the jewelry. Both pieces sound sort of elaborate, so I would skip them entirely. As for shoes, the wedges would be appropriate for this occasion.

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17/f
My brother just said I was a slut because he saw the hickey on my neck.
I made out with this guy, he's one of my friends and I've liked him for over a year. We like each other and stuff but aren't dating, he's 19 though, which is why we aren't dating and are planning to wait.
Does it make me a slut for making out with him? It's not like I'm doing this with every random guy right?

Then my friend told me I wasn't a slut, I would have been if I had sex with him.
Does that mean if I had sex with him it would have made me a slut?

I know this isn't really a big deal but it kinda bothers me so I might as well get people's opinions on it.

I disagree with every answer to this question thus far. No, not because I think you're a slut; my issue is that these people are using the word "slut" in the first place. Slut shaming isn't cool. You have complete control over your sexuality. You are entitled to do whatever you please with it. The word "slut" only came about to oppress women. It only perpetuates rape culture and gives men excuses to shame a women.

You are not a slut for making out with a guy you like. I think anyone can agree with that one. Your brother is just trying to get a rise out of you. Furthermore, if you feel you are ready, you can have sex with him. Reject the word "slut." Your body, your choice.

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I saw this video that was CLAIMING it was Miley Cyrus getting high and smoking a bong on her 18th birthday party with her friends. Whoever it was, she was obviously stoned out of her mind. I know a lot of this celebrity media stuff is false though with Photoshop and look-a-like doubles. I use to watch Hannah Montana a lot when I was a little younger and I actually like Miley Cyrus as an actress and singer. I know it's none of my business, but I'm just curious if the video is for real or if it's been faked? Anybody know?

She smoked salvia, a legal hallucinogen in California. Nevertheless, I wouldn't be shocked if she smoked weed too.

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My name is Jade and I've been wanting an interesting nickname. But I don't know much about interesting nicknames. Can someone please give me some good ideas on nicknames?

Jade Gingivitis

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Hii, I need advice about what problems there are in your guys' general day to day life. If you think something needs to be improved or have something that needs a solution please tell me!! I've been thinking really hard about this but need some fresh advice. If you could please tell me about ANY type of problem that needs a solution or product that needs to be improved please tell me! I'm working on a project but really need some help thinking of things.

The more problems the better!!!!! and i will rate! :]

I procrastinate mad hard.
There is too much traffic in my town so I am forced to walk to work instead of driving.
Nutigram bars are 85 cents in the school cafeteria and fattening snacks are 50 cents. This troubles me.
I am much more upbeat and happy than my boyfriend. Sometimes I can't understand him because of this.
All of my friends are afraid to talk to a particular friend about her drug problem so we act like it doesn't exist.
I want to go to Brown University but I'm not sure I can get in.
I'm going to have to take out so many student loans, I'll be paying them off until my 40s.
I didn't do as well as I normally did this semester in school. I'm worried about what kind of college I can get into because of this.
My parents can be overbearing.
I don't know if I really make enough money at my job to pay for my travels.
I can't find any good concerts to go to.
I've been on a hunt for good music.
I'm too lazy to get in shape again.

These are my troubles.

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I just watched an episode of Spongebob and it really got me thinking. I am a total fan of Spongebob, but I am now curious if the writers are trying to make him gay. On this particular episode Spongebob is looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gift for Patrick. Normally, on Valentine's Day a guy buys the perfect gift for a girl, not for another guy. Sandy, the female character in the show, isn't treated the same as Patrick. Spongebob doesn't look for the perfect gift for her.
Patrick is suppose to be Spongebob's best friend...not his boyfriend or lover. It's really bugging me. Are they making Spongebob into a gay guy?

Probably not. Children's television generally does not endorse homosexuality, though there is nothing wrong with it.

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i have noo idea what to put for my senior quotes. i want to put a quote from a song or something...so what are some good graduation quotes? doesn't have to be too deep, just nice ones :)

Color my life with the chaos of trouble.
-The Boy with the Arab Strap by Belle and Sebastian

All the way from San Francisco, as I chased the end of your road. Cause I've still got miles to go.
-Bixby Canyon Bridge by Death Cab For Cutie

And (in)to the caverns of tomorrow with just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge.
-At the Bottom of Everything by Bright Eyes

you came to take us
all things go, all things go
to recreate us
all things grow, all things grow
-Chicago by Sufjan Stevens

Forget regret or life is your to miss
-Another Day from the musical Rent

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I was just wondering were dragons ever real? Ha I was just thinking about that and I just wondered because I've never heard of scientists digging up dragon bones or something ha.

The two people below me are blatant nonbelievers! Shun the non-believers! The dragons are real in your heart and that's all that matters

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Hi,
I am 16 years old, and I've always been a really talented driver. My dad is a psyciatrist, and my mom is a nurse.
My problem is that ever since I was, I think five years old, I have wanted to race cars. Of course when a five year old says it, then my parents always thought the same thing that it was just me being a kid, and that it didn't matter because I couldn't even try until I was 16 anyway. As I was growing up, I was always really good at driving. I always got a new record at the arcade racing games, and I was always the fastest at the go kart tracks, but no matter how much I insisted my parents never thought anything of it. When I got older, I met a friend who raced quarter midgets (these are miniature sprint cars) and he had been doing this since he was five. He's not even that talented it seems, but he's extremely good when he races, and has many records at different tracks. His dad has connections to everyone, and my parents know nothing. They have no connections and know nothing about cars. I know much more about cars than my friend, and I feel like I'm almost as good as he is. I can beat him easily at racing games, and have even gotten the chance to beat him at a go kart track. I know I have talent because I can do this and I still lack so much experience compared to him.
Growing up, every single chance I got to get more experience with cars, I used it. I taught myself to drive a stick on a car when I was 6,I always force my family to let me go to the go kart tracks at ammusement parks or on vacation, and I rebuilt the motor on a '92 300zx when I was 12 using my friends machine shop. I have always been able to point at any car on the road, from even pretty far away, any car. I have saved up money in every way I could, and tried everything I could to build up a skill. I bought a pretty good off-road go kart - having almost no room to use it - and bought tons of dirtbikes and motorcycles for cheap and restored them. But I only have my small yard to use them, and have only gotten to take them to a riding area a few times. When I do my parents are impressed with me though. I have only gone to an off-road area 4 times in my life, and I taught myself how to do a backflip on my 125 last time I went. I am really good at picking things up like this fast, but I don't really have any friends I know that are into cars or motorsports like me. Anyway I enjoy this but my parents have no nowledge of anything about it, and they continue think that it is a rediculous hobby of mine.
I've always been so good but just been horribly deprived of chances to express this talent, and I can't take the regret anymore. Now I'm 16 and I got my liscence on my 16th birthday, and have been driving for 10 months now. I feel like I'm too old and my brain is no longer developing like it was when I was younger. I have always picked up skills fast, and I still do, but I feel like it's too late to be good enough as the people who started when they were five, I don't know weather to start now, and try, or to let it go and accept that I never will be as good as I could've been. I bought a nissan 300zx twin turbo and rebuilt everything and maybe it could be a ticket into racing. But when I work on cars I'm all alone. My family knows nothing about them, and I feel like it's useless to try because I have no connections and have absolutley no idea where to start.
It's really killing me, and for a long time I have tried to forget about cars, and accept that I lost my chance to persue this dream a long time ago. But I can't take it anymore. It bothers me so bad that I finally just decided to post this to try and relieve a little tension.
I have considered street racing, but I am too scared of getting caught, and I have no idea how to make my way in to actual leagle car racing. I street raced only one time, and I don't think I ever will again. It was my 300 against a 98 corvette, and I actually beat him by quite a bit because I managed to pull through the turns better. I guess this is one thing that makes me feel like I am still pretty good, even though I have no experience. My car was $3,000 at a trashed car lot, and even though I have put a lot of work into it, I feel like it must've been talent to beet a corvette, right? I don't know what to think, and I don't really have any friends that street race. I've seen the fast and furious movies lol and I honestly don't think that's the way to go. I am going to a new school this year though, and I will be a Jr. in high school. Anyway now that I've typed this up I feel a little better, but PLEASE I want to know what people think. Do any of you have any experiences or advice for this kind of situation? Do you think it's too late in my brain's developement to get good, or do you think I should try it? I have a lot of resposibilities, and my mom is poor and single, and I should probably get a job soon to support her. So I really, don't mean "is it worth a try?", because of course it is. What I mean is I don't really have many spaces open to play around in my busy life. I am really busy and stressed, and I guess I really want to know if it's rediculous to think I can never be as good as the kids who started earlier, or if it really is true that it is very unlikely I will be able to compete with people that have been racing for a while. Anyway any comments or advice would be great! I really CANNOT get over this, and I want someone's opinion.

This is corny, and I'm sure you've heard it 32920492 times, but you can do anything you put your mind to. It is never too late to try something new.

I am into fashion the way you are into cars, however, I only realized this fairly recently. It seemed that every other girl who wanted to go into the clothing industry had been sewing since she was five. I knew absolutely nothing, but that did not stop me. I asked a teacher in my school to teach me how to sew. Friends and family gave me books about fashion drawing and design. I started a fashion blog. If you want to do something, you have every ability to do it, no matter how late it may seem to be. You aren't even 1/4 of your way through your life. You can still be a race car driver.

Talk to your parents seriously about becoming a driver. Sit them down and explain everything you have explained here. Hell, even show them the question. Now, not having connections is not your be-all end-all. A simple google search can connect you with people who can help you achieve your goal. Furthermore, why not ask your friend if he can help you get into racing?

If you need to get a job to support your mom, see if you can get a job in a mechanic shop. It will help you earn money, you will gain experience in the industry. Also, if in the end racing really doesn't work out, you will have another career path to consider.

Do not give up on your dreams because it seems too late. You're 16 years old, the world is at your feet. When there's a will, there's a way. If you want to race, you are fully capable of finding a way to race.

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i know its just a movie but in bruno he did a lot of stuff that a lot of straight guys wouldnt do so i was just wondering if anyone knows if he's straight/gay/bi
just curious lol kinda a weird question i know.

No, he's married to Isla Fisher.

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Anyone know a song about old feelings coming back?

Thanks (:
x

It's All Coming Back to Me Now- Celine Dion
Mamma Mia- Abba
I Still Remember- Bloc Party
Again Again- Lady Gaga

Yeah, I lost a little faith in myself for putting a Lady Gaga song too, but this one is actually fairly good.

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I want to become a vampire. do not say "they do not exist." i am not crazy lol and this isnt really about twilight or anything. i just think it would be cool. dont say i cannot handle or survive or something like that. i just want to know how. im not talking about mythical vampires like the ones in movies. and what exactly are vampires? dont say mythical creatures. what powers do they have? and stuff like that. HOW! i am willing to accept the consiquences. much luv!

And I want a bigger butt, but we can't always get what we want..

You could be one of those religious vampires. More information on that can be found on the wikipedia website. It'll also explain ins and outs of vampire-ism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire

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can using tampons "pop your cherry" and make you not a virgin?

Yes, it can pop your cherry, but your "cherry" isn't a good indicator of virginity, as it can broken riding a bike, a horse, and doing other normal activity. Until you engage in sex, you are a virgin, regardless if your hymen is intact or not.

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im 13.... ummmm so like what are the odds of me getting pregnant from like not a guy. because i've been in bible school my whole life and apparently god can make you preggers? like how likely is this and what kind of birth control can i use against god? and is this blassphemyy if i use protection because like you know... it's god. you know? okay thanks!

God is so fucking powerful that there is absolutely no birth control you can use against him. If you attempt to thrawt his plan to get you pregnant, he will strike you dead with a bolt of lightning. BTW: He is planning to get you pregnant. I would know this my friend, because I am the holy ghost.

Matt, I love you.

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i'm 14, turning 15 july 21st. i'm 100 lbs and i think im around 5'0 but i could be a little taller. i'm completely flat-chested and really upset about it. when i say flat-chested, i don't mean 32A bra. i mean there's nothing there at all, it's like i'm a 10 year old. i know i may be a little on the small side, but i'm almost 15. no one my age that i have ever met is flat-chested like me.
people say i could be a late bloomer, but i have hair in the places i should, so i know i've started. i don't have my period yet, though, and my doctor told me if i don't by the time i'm 15 they start to worry.
what should i do?

If you have not started your period, it is normal to have smaller breasts, or in your case, be flat chested.

Unfortunately, there is no magical food to eat to make your boobs bigger. You shouldn't worry about taking growth hormones or the like, since you are far too young for that!

Your best bet is to talk to your mother or another female family member about when their breasts started to develop. Family members tends to develop similarly.

Don't worry- all girls are different. Some have been wearing a bra since they were 8 years old, some won't need one until well after their period starts. You aren't some kind of freak of nature ;)

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What is the estimated price for a wedding???

Thanks

There is absolutely no estimated price. You can go all out and drop millions of dollars on a wedding or you can go to Vegas and get a marriage license fairly cheap. Really the sky is the limit. When planning a wedding you need to set your own budget or talk it over with a wedding planner and have them help you set one.

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I have dry skin around my nose and black dots on it too. how can i fix this?

If you have dry skin, buy a good moisturizer. Personally, I like anything from Clinique. It can be a bit pricey, but it's really high quality stuff and it works well. If you really don't want to spend that much, go to Bath and Body Works, or just a drug store, they sell some cheaper moisturizers there.

As for blackheads, you can either buy strips that remove blackheads or you can remove them using a facial scrub.

To take good care of your skin, you should get into the habit of having a cleansing routine. Wash your face, cleanse, and moisturize. If you go to skinid.com you can find good treatments for your type of skin.

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