I finally updated my picture, I thought it was time for an update on it so I picked my favorite picture. After all, my previous picture was almost 2 and a half years old!
My name is Ryan. And I will answer most everything you want to ask to the best of my God given ability.But I will not sugar coat any answer and I will give MY advice. I don't care about my ratings, so don't think giving me a 1 for an answer you don't want to hear will scare me. And if you already know what you should do about a sitaution, don't come to us here at advicenators asking for a second opinion. And here below is a list of questions you should NOT ask on advicenators. Granted some of them may vary and be acceptable, but overall don't ask the below questions on Advicenators.
**Don't ask questions like "OMG i heard this song on the radio with "insert pointless pop lyrics here" and i wanna know what it is so what is it! Thanks!! I rate 5sssss! hearts". This question can be simply googled with the lyrics, or you need only ask a friend
**Don't ask "ok so there is the hott guy/gal in my class and he/she like got me a *insert gift or simple trinket here* do you think he/she likes me?" This is the most common question here on this website sadly. Unless it is vitally important and actually pertains to a feeling of true feelings, don't ask it. This is most asked by teens. And what teens need to learn is "love" is not thinking a guy/girl is sweet and hott and nice. I know love, and it is so far from all those things. Remember Cicero when he said "Out of all the emotions, love is the most violent. Love is madness."
**"Ok so me and my boyfriend had sex last night and we like used no protection omg he came in me do you think i am pregnant?" Ugh. Stupid teens and their hormones. IF YOU HAVE SEX YOU ALWAYS RUN THE RISK OF PREGNANCY, UNLESS YOUR STERILE. And if you don't know anything about sex, you shouldn't be doing it. Even if you "love" your partner, half the time this is a disallusion and you will end up hurt. Sex is for marriage.
**Or asking what's "in" for fashion, or what they should wear out tonight. Or what is "cute" and what looks good. Pick and choose for yourself what you like, think for yourself instead of trying to let other people do it for you. Stand up and be yourself.
These are the most common questions I have seen on Advicenators. Now there are a few questions that are very good questions and deserve the 3 rating and the best answer possible. But they are usually blocked out with the kinds of questions listed above. If you want to ask something, check the following off that I am listing.
1.Does the question pertain to anything important or trivial?
2.Is proper grammar used?
3.Is the question long and in one paragraph?
4.Is it a question that you yourself can answer?
5.Is there enough detail?
Following those 5 guidelines, you can write a good 3 point answer. That about wraps it up.
I spend alot of time online and here on advicenators, so if you ever need anything then just send something in my inbox or IM me. I'm not opposed to helping people at all, in fact I love doing it. I just want some people to wake up from asking a stupid question.
Thank you all for your time.
Gnothi seauton - Know thyself My Motto
E-mail: alpha_0mega345@yahoo.com
Gender: Male
Location: New Palestine, Indiana
Occupation: Movie Theater Employee
Age: 17
AIM: Alpha0mega345
Yahoo: alpha_0mega345@yahoo.com
MSN: AlphaOmega345@hotmail.com
Member Since: July 13, 2005
Answers: 496
Last Update: May 17, 2008
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As an example: On January 2007 you post a question(s) on this site and you get the responses that you think helped you so you decide to copy and paste both the question and answer into a word document to read the question and answer when ever you feel like. But then March 2007 rolls around do you feel that you should repost the question to see what other answers you may get. Or do you say to yourself I got the all the answers I need that helped me and I copied and pasted the question(s) and answer(s) in word to read when I want so I will not post any more (link)
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You're always going to get different answers. When over 20,000 columnists see your question you're bound to get more than one response. Yes you might get some of the same responses but you are gauranteed different answers.
The repost depends on how you feel about your first time answers.
-Ryan
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And I wish i was as sure of myself as you are. You're strong, unique..and yourself. You know exactly what you belive in..and stick with it. I'd do anything to find that, to be happy because of that. Everything in my life is a mess, and nothing is sure. Everythng in your life seems to be sure, love, religion, opinions.. while my answer to everything would be "im not sure"..how'd you find that in yourself? what did you honestly do to get the way you are? I'd do anything for it. (link)
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If you can send me a message with your email, I will reply, because the reply here on advicenators might be a very long read.
I would be glad to tell you everything, just give me an email.
-Ryan
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Well, my friend told me that nail polish if you drank enough would kill you. Please don't lecture me or anything....but, recently I have been just really sad and mad at the world and I feel like my world is crashing down. I drank about a third of the bottle about 30 minutes ago. Nothing has happened so far. I don't know what to do. I was talking to my bf at the moment I made the decision and he kept telling me please, no, don't do it. But I didn't listen and I did it. He was mad at me when I told him I did, and he's never been this mad at me before. He won't talk to me now. If I live, what should I do now? I still feel like theres nothing to live for, and what is worth living for, him, everyone keeps me away from him. Or will I even live? And I'm dead serious on this question. This is not a joke, so please give me serious answers, and no lectures, I've heard it all before. (link)
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First off, seek medical attention.
Second, seek pyschiatric attention. I'm going to tell you right now, you may not feel like there is nothing to live for, but there is ALWAYS something to live for, ALWAYS. I don't care if you say you don't. Ever wonder how things end when you die? Ever wonder how much your own family is gonna cry and mourn when you decide to commit to that untimely fate? What about your boyfriend, he obviously cares, so is that not worth living for? I can bet more than one of your friends is gonna ball their eyes out when they find out you tried to kill yourself, even more so if you succede
Don't come in here saying there is nothing to live for, because their is. Suicide is NEVER the good way out and I gaurantee you people have it alot worse than you. I remember talking to someone who was contemplating suicide because she said "everything was going wrong!". Then I felt the need to tell her everything wrong in my life and my friends lives. It shut her up real quick.
The end result though, I don't even have to know you to say, is that everything in the end will be alright, despite ANY circumstances. Get help, and stop thinking everything is so damn bad.
Please, for everyone's sake, get help.
-Ryan
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hey i realy need help im a cuttter and have been 4 two years n am cutting my friends no i do it and they hate it. my bf reali does hate it n he got reali pissed off cus he saw my arm so how do i stop cutting with out goin to see sum one cutting is the onli thing that makes me feel ok bout my self ill be depressed n i cut n i feel kinda good is there sumthing rong wit me ?
(link)
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Seek professional help immediately.
After 4 years of cutting and your reliance on it, you are addicted to it. You need to find a professional to help you so you can stop. Medication, talking, and will are the only things that will help bring you out of this.
Your friends and boyfriend are mad at you about this because they care about you. They want to see you helped. You havn't stopped or seeked helped, so they are growing anger. Caring can go down to that level.
Please, please go see someone about this and get yourself treated any way. You can fix your self esteem and depression issues then and there too. Just please go get help.
And don't just do it because I advised you to, but because your friends and boyfriend want to see you helped to.
Please find help, and I'll say a prayer that you get it.
-Ryan
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so i'll start by telling you a bit about myself.
i am 15 f. i don't want to sound arrogant but yes, i am popular which is why i don't get what is going on. I am vasrity cheerleader as a sophmore and have no trouble w/ guys and have alot of girl friends. so this is my question...
i got into a figth with this girl and it got bad, but girls are catty. she tried to ruin my reputation, but i ruined her life =] i got her kicked off of class vice president and her friends hate her. but to be fair, she really deserved it im not kidding. she posted pictures of me that were like edited and crap to make it look like i was naked, like photocopying my head onto the pic or w/e. and posted it on alot of the lockers. idk why she did it, shes just jealous b/c im dating her ex bf. seems to me like SHES the sociopath not me...
so after this i got in trouble, the school sent me to a therapist to talk about why i act the way i do. he diagnosed me a sociopath. But um... sociopaths are psycho anti-socials and im the center of attention. Im not a freak, i love shopping and guys and they say just b/c im a little decieving and like it my way, makes me a sociopath???
can somebody please explain to me how a popular varsity cheerleader can be a sociopath because i am way not antisocial. (link)
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I'm going to be blunt, as so many before me have.
Your psycho-analysis is correct. According to a psychological outlook, you are a sociopath. While it may be slightly "overkill" to judge you as one when you sophomore in highschool, it is still fitting.
I don't know how you can smile when you make other suffer. You find comfort in knowing others suffer because you are getting your way? Your a sophomore in highschool and your out look on life better change, because if it doesn't your going to find a very grim future in the real world. People don't bend over backwords for your wants, they bend over backwards for theirs.
And as a rule of thumb, most highschoolers are still very much child like in their behaviour. Both you, and this other girl, have displayed this and proved it to me once again.
I suggest (other than reading up on the wonderful definations of "sociopath" my advice-collegues have given) to search the meaning yourself. To beat a problem, you need to know what it is, and you do not know what it is.
I could go on with my rant of every little thing you've said and how I would absolutely LOVE to put you in your place and remove you from your place of power, but I am going to spare us both the unpleasentries. As an ending note. Keep up with any kind of medication and counciling, and work hard to get over your condition and lifestyle.
And as a reminder, please apologize to everyone you hurt. Your not proving your tough by hurting others in high school, you just prove your a child.
-Ryan
P.S. Any time a person says "They deserved it" I notice it is always because that person did it to the person explaing that "They deserved it". You had no reason to ruin her life or hurt her. She merely got into an argument with you and you blew it out of proportion and so did she. Only, she did it in a more comical way. Her taking your picture and doing what she did can be called "Photoshopping" and it is for humor only, you can spot the difference a mile away.
Apologize to her and make her do the same.
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i wanna die in my sleep. help. (link)
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See a psychologist if your serious.
And if this is a prank, GETF off the internet.
Either way you need help, seek it.
-Ryan
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Okay, well i dont have a bad home and im not severely depressed but i get upset easily and sometimes i do feel depressed. Last night i cut myself 4 the first time...do i need help..am i crazy...i cant tell my parents....what should i do?
plz help (link)
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Well, why can't you tell your parents?
Most people who cut aren't crazy, but they do need help. As said before, it can be addicting. I've had friends before who have cut, and one in particular that did and we made her promise to stop. But then, me and some of her closests friends found out she was doing it again a few months later. You need to just stop now before you do it again. If you are upset over something, then find a safer and more reliable outlet to release your emotions and stress, because cutting will only consume, temporary relief is not permanent.
If you do happen to do it again for any reason, I would most definately tell your parents. If you are doing it without them knowing and they find out, you will be in alot worse trouble than if you just told them. If you tell them, sure it will be weird and there will probably be some emotions, but the end result will be alot better than if they just found out.
Short and sweet, don't do it again and just forget you did it in the first place. Find a better place to put your emotions and stress, and you'll be fine.
I hope this helps and everything gets better!
-Ryan
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I just met this girl in pottery and she is really cool.( we are both Freshman) We were just talking and she said she used to cut herself and do drugs but not anymore.She said in the summer of 2009 (when we graduate) her and her friends from a different school are going to burn down there old school and then stand across from each other and shoot themselves because they all want to die at the same time.I dont know if I should tell anybody.She sounds really serious about it and I dont kno what I should do.I dont think I can tell a consouler because they will confront her and she will know it was me because i was the only person she told.Ill rate high (link)
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You have 4 years from this point to try and change her mind. Maybe you being her friend and trying to get her mind off of it will help and in the end, she won't do it. But at the end of those 4 years you don't think she has changed and she still might do it. Then you need to tell someone and get a warning out to everyone. Just go to a trusted adult and get the news out because her possibly doing that stuff is VERY serious.
Hope this helps and things get worked out.
-Ryan
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I dont feel like my life is important to anyone and that I should die. I feel dead most of the time anyway. I feel ugly and am always depressed and stressed. I need help. I want help. What can I do to help me feel better? (link)
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You are important to one person always, and that is Jesus. He is always there for you even if you think he isn't. Pray for help and you will receive some, I promise.
If you don't do that, then talk to your friends, parents, and a licenses counciler because they will be there to help you and will help you in anyway they can. Go to them and tell them you want help, they will give it to you.
But give prayer a chance first, because it will always help you, always.
I hope I helped and you get your help and you get better. I will pray for you.
-Ryan
If you need anything else, PLEASE IM me at my sn on AIM, Alpha0mega345. Or just drop a message in my inbox, I would be happy to help you more or just to talk to you. I'll be here to listen to if you need me.
Good luck.
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does anyone know how to release a troubled soul? Recently i have been feeling like an outsider twith my friends. I feel like my friends have to be too serious around me and i feel like i cant relate to them and i feel like a total outsider. i feel like there is something worng with me.i can hardly ever laugh anymore. i think i'm going into a depression.maybe i'm gonna die soon so i can be released from my torubled soul. Plz help i dunno wut i'm gonna do but the thing is i'm very sane and wont kill myself. But i am tired of life. I am tired of everything and i dont know what is wrong with me. Plz help. (link)
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I've been here before. And what my honest advice is too pray. And if doesn't help, pray some more. Even if your not a Christian, pray anyway and try and find some relief in it.
Talk to your friends and tell them your situation, because if you do I bet you can work around the way you feel about them and their seriousness and if they are really your friends they will try and help you.
That's good to hear you won't kill yourself, that shows some serious mental ability to go through what you say your going through and have it in your head that you will not kill yourself and just end it, that shows mental endurance, which is very good.
If you don't think any of this will help, then see a doctor about it, maybe he can try and help you and try also seeing a counciler because they may be able to help you improve your outlook on life and help you find a better feeeling with yourself.
Also though..pray and try and find God, because if you go to him, he will help you, no doubt about it.
I hope this helps and you get to feeling a less troubled soul. If you need anything else, drop something in my inbox.
-Ryan
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Well, I have been VERY depressed lately about different things. My dad makes me really mad. I'm tired of being depressed. I can't get to sleep at night. I hate it. My best friend is wonderful and she tries to help me. But nothing works. EVER! I feel so bad because she tries her best. I love her so much for helping me. I'm just.. I don't know. I'm always sad. I need help. And I can't afford some REAL help, if you know what I mean. SO.. Does anyone have any advice?? I will rate 4s and 5s!! (link)
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I've been through this before and still go through it. Depression can really take it out of you and that may be the cause of your lack of sleep at night, it did with me. What I found best to do in regards to this is try and occupy your mind with other things other than what can make you depressed (this website and my advice column are two of the big ventelators I have to relieve my stress and help the depression I feel). You can try taking up some kind of extra-curricular activity when school starts and also try excersizing, I've found it is a VERY good way to take your mind off whatever may be getting you depressed.
Keep talking to your best friend because she has proved she is going to be there to listen to you. Whenever your feeling depressed go to her and let her know your feelings, it can help alot more than you know because I also have a friend that I CONSTANTLY go to when I am depressed for any reason at all.
As for your dad, I don't know why he makes you so mad, but try and talk to him about it. Let him know your mad at whatever it is he does and try and work it out from there.
Also another thing that really helped me through depression is prayer. You would be surprised at how useful and uplifting it is when your like that. You have to understand God lets everything happen for a reason, we don't know the reason, but eventually we will after it is over, said, and done.
Good luck with this and I hope everything turns out alright.
-Ryan
P.S. I don't believe in taking medicine for depression, I believe it only creates a front for you to hide behind.
If you need anything drop something in my inbox or IM me at Alpha0mega345
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omfg i need an answer quickly please!
i am not really a cutter, only on occassions. today i was very stressed and cut, deep and long. (not too deep obviously) as i was getting dressed my sister saw it. she said if i didnt go to my friends house she wouldnt tell, so i stayed home. then she came in later and said she was still thinking about telling. you don't realize how upset my mother will get, how pissed my dad will be, i don't want to hurt my parents! i regret doing it, i will never again. i told my sister that, but she doesnt believe me! what do i doto convince her not to tell! what do i do if she does tell! (link)
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Listen, there are better ways to relieve a stressful day other than cutting. You need to talk to your sister about it and tell her you do not want your parents to know and be very serious about it. Cutting won't help you relieve a stressful day and it certainly will NOT help you in the long run. In every case I have seen of someone cutting they do it again, which makes it worse and worse, until it comes to a point where it is like an addiction, and as you are most likely aware, addictions can ruin your life and lead to a whole new host of problems. Please talk to your sister then make a hard effort not to cut yourself anymore, no matter how the stressful the day has been or how bad your life may seem. I will pray for you and I hope this gets better for you and I sincerly hope this advice helped.
-Ryan
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I have a very bad case of Arachnephobia. I've always been afraid of spiders, but it wasn't always like a phobia. (Phobia here is defined as an irrational fear that interferes with normal living). It started about a year or two ago, when after a shower, I was toweling off, and there was a large spider on my towel. I hated spiders, so I flung the towel across the room, and spend the next half hour curled up, crying. It scared me half to death. Then later, my cousins and I went to a park, and there was a profusion of spiders. My little cousin Andy loves spiders, so he pointed out every single one. They were each about 4-6 inches long. After about five minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I hid in the car and cried. Things reached their worse when last month, I woke to find a strange bite on my arm. I figured it was just a bug bite, and ignored it. By noon that day, the area near the bite had swollen into a huge bump, about three inches long and one across, and at least a half inch high. I was feeling naseous, and terrified. I was so afraid that I refused to sleep in my bed that night.
Things have just gone down hill from there. Some nights, I won't sleep because I am afraid of the spiders. I check my blankets almost every night, and sometimes sleep in another room. I shake my towel out before using it. I check the shower and garage for spiders before entering. I know this is irrational and abnormal, but somehow I can't help it. What should I do?
(link)
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I got the same deal with spiders, I hate them and I freak out whenever I see one. I guess some of that can derive from my mom getting a bite by a brown recluse spider on her ankle when I was very young and her coming pretty close to death because of it (she still has the distortions and marks there too). Another reason is that I do not like the way the move or just how the look. Everything about spiders I hate. Your not alone with Arachnephobia, trust me. I would say it has to be one of the most common phobia's out there. The best advice I can give you is to just kill them when you see them (or have someone else do it for you). And to kinda check with your eyes if there is a spider somewhere near you. Also you can try seeking professional help for this. I really hope this gets better for you, I know what your feeling and hope this advice helps.
-Ryan
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