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Hi,
My boyfriend and I have been going out for two years on the 31st of January. He is going to be 18 in two weeks and I am 16. It is currently a very cold winter with tons of snow, so we cant do much outside. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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Okay so really my best suggestion is to do something that is special to both of you. Like for example my ex boyfriend and I met at the beach. He was working at a snowcone stand. We talked a little bit and then he had a little boy give me a snowcone with his number on it. After our first date he took me to his snowcone place and we spent the rest of that night trying all sorts of different snowcones. If anything special that is like that with you guys you should come up with some way to make that your "theme" in a way.
Also, you could plan something and make him go on a scavanger hunt. In the scavanger hunt you could leave hints about things you have done together or shared together. Make him go to those places to get the next clue. Then make him end up back at his house or something where you have decorated it all out.
Remember that you will have more of a connection if it means something for the both of you instead of just going out to eat.
Hope I helped!
If you need more you can drop one in my inbox!
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last year at summer camp this guy i had met several years ago and knew and is also my mom's college best friend's son started liking me. he was already with another girl but after the week dumped her because he found out i liked him. we talked and evenually dated. things weren't ever good between us because we didn't know each other as well as we should to start dating and we only got to text message maybe ten messages per day at most and never got to talk on the phone. we met up at a weekend youth rally after two months of not seeing each other. there he completely ignored me and even broke up with me. there were rumors he was cheating on me but we got that straightened out this week. i just got back from the same summer camp that got us together last year. we made up and talked some things out. things are literally better than ever - actually awesome - between us and he is wanting to get back together, according to his mom. i don't think i ever got over him because the second i saw him my stomach got butterflies and my palms started sweating. i just emailed him today because we promised to stay in touch. i haven't heard back, but i know i will soon.
what should i do? stay just friends? i still really like him and this week showed that there are still sparks between us. i really want to get back together but i'm not positive that would be best. right now we're both 15 and i'll be 16 in four months. he lives around two hours away. our families are close and if we started dating again, we would see each other about once every two months. i hope this is enough information to get some good answers, and i'm sorry if i rambled or didn't make sense. please help me with this! i want things to work but i'm not the best at doing stuff like this. thank you so much for your time! (link)
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Here is my opinion on the situation. He is a little immature. You aren't. The way he just broke up with his girlfriend to go out with someone he doesn't know all that well is a little ridiculous. But props to you for getting him to do that. I'm impressed. Seeing that he broke up with his girl for another girl really soon makes me wonder if he's going to be faithful if you two do date. The whole thing with the rumors just adds to it. BUT maybe since you both have grown up since then it will work out.
Here is what I would do:
Talk to him. Tell him how you feel (you like him.) I think you should stay friends until one of you has your license. I know it's a long time, but once you get your license you can see each other a lot more and it would be better on the relationship. What if he gets sick of not seeing you and cheats on you. Then the relationship is over and you can't get back together when you get your license cause you'll still be mad at him. So hold up and get the time to know him on the phone and meet up every once in a while until you get your license. When you do get it you would of had enough time to think if you really do like him and want to be with him or if you just want a boyfriend. I say think about this situation before you jump into it.
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FYI: I am a 20 year-old recent college grad. Both men I am referring to in this question are only slightly older than me and finishing their degrees.
"Joe" and I began dating 2 1/2 years ago. Our relationship was generally good when last summer (1 1/2 years in)he decided that he didn't want a serious girlfriend. Nothing mean or ugly, he was just being honest. I tried all summer to change his mind but finally gave. (We remained close friends.)
After dating around for a little while, I began seeing "Michael". Our relationship was somewhat rocky because we had both come out of relationships and he had been hurt many times before. During this time, Joe began to develop interest in having a relationship. I thought it over and eventually decided to try things again with Joe. (I stayed in close contact with Michael.)
Joe and I have a really easygoing relationship, but he refuses to discuss a more serious commitment. When we discuss it, he says he doesn't see us going in that direction at this point but is always careful to avoid losing me entirely. In the past few months, Michael has attempted to see other people to no avail. He is convinced that I am the only one for him. We have been getting along beatuifully, and Michael has done everything he to prove to me that we belong together. (Both are fully aware of each other and the current status.)
Michael wants me to leave Joe and become engaged to him. (He's even looking at rings.) I am seriously considering this. I love both men very much (in somewhat different ways) and could she myself happily married to either (in 2-5 years). The difference here is that Michael is willing to commit and Joe is not. Both have treated me very well; although Michael is romantic (flowers) while Joe is considerate (fixs my car). Is there any point in continuing to wait for Joe or should I leave him and accept the proposal from Micheal? (link)
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It really depends on what you want. If you want that commitment than obviously you'd be better off with Michael. If you don't want that right now go with Joe. But if you are really stuck (I'm guessing you are or you wouldn't ask this) then I think you should take into consideration each of them as an individual and not as a guy you love. Think of everything that they love and what they do that makes you happy. Writing them down might be a good way to go about this. Evaluate every little detail of them and then try and come to your own conclusion of which one you want to work with.
In my opinion (just my opinion you don't have to abide by it) Michael is sincere with you on his intentions. I think Joe is sincere also, but not like Michael is. Joe may be wanting to live life a little and see all of his options before he settles down with someone. Michael already sees all of his options and has chosen you. I say respect Michael's wishes to marry someday, but if you aren't ready for marrige than you should tell him. In the long run Michael may be the better one. Joe on the other hand may be letting you live your life longer and so he may be the better one. Once again it comes down to your overall lifestyle. If it was me I would tell Michael that I'm not ready to marry, but that is something you would like later. I would simply tell Joe that I've found someone who is serious about me and I don't want to play a game the rest of my life. (Remember this is just my opinion.)
In conclusion, I think Michael would be the one that could make you happy. He seems determined and focused. To me, Joe sounds like a guy who hasn't quite found what he really loves in life and this could cause you many problems in the future. But if you come down to the decision that you want Joe more, you should tell him how you feel and see if he is ready to commit for you. If not, you still have Michael who really really does love you.
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Hi everyone,I'm 23/f, in a dating dilemna. I was brought up on The Rules and, more recently He's Just Not That Into You. Now I like a guy, think he cold like me, and am unsure whether to ask him out. I;d like your thoughts and experiences, please, to help me find my way.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Your life is short...don't hold back anything. Do what you want to do. If you think asking him out would be a good choice than do it. If you don't he may have been that perfect one and you could let him slip away. Ask him out if you are really into him. If you're not sure if you are really in to him then just ask him anyways. You have nothing to lose and he has nothing to lose. Ask him and if you don't like him then tell him how you think you should just stay friends.
I'm younger than you, but I have experience with this kind of stuff. Not just with me but my friends and family members. Once my brother had a girlfriend who was as good as it gets. They broke up over those stupid little fights that shouldn't make a couple break up. He then was really sorry he did that and wanted to ask her back out. He couldn't ask her back out though because he was scarred she didn't care for him anymore. She really did though. He didn't ask her out and soon she started to date someone else. He is still in love with her but now she is getting married. It's sad and although you aren't at that level with this guy you should probably stil test it out.
If I was you I would definitly ask him out. Maybe you could talk about double dating just so you will feel more at ease and then if you do like him take a second date alone. You never know, he could be THE one.
Hope I helped, good luck!!
Kelse Kaye
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he said, "if i still talk to you like this, then when im 18 i might want to be with you." he's 13 now and im afraid of what's going to happen in between those 5 years so if he said that now does he really love me? (link)
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Hun, this guy is playing you. If he really loved you he would be with you now and not when you are 18. That's too long to wait for love.
Don't let him play you. Tell him what's up. Say something like, "I'm not into being played so if you wanna be with me you'll have to take me now cus I won't be there in five years." Be the boss. He is trying to control you.
Don't let him control you. You are in charge of your own life. You deserve someone much much better. Find someone who will date you now and loves you for you. I'm sure you can find someone.
Don't wait around on him.
So to answer your question...no I don't think he loves you sorry.
Find someone worth your time,
Kelse Kaye
Keep me posted
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Hey i am a 13 year old girl and i have a boyfriend and he's like reeeeeeeeealy sweet and he loves me but.... When ever im sad he like just gives me this look as if i have done somthing to affend him. Then he just walk's off and dosen't do anything about it. so what should i do???? Can someone help me please im crying:'(
Love,
sad and no one cares!!! (link)
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Before I give you my advice I should probably say to you that no matter what he can't make your problems go away. Don't depend on him to make them go away.
But he can comfort you when you are sad. Some guys don't exactly have that thing to them that makes them know what to do all the time. Since you are 13 and I'm guessing he's 13 he is probably still trying to mature, find out who he really is, and see all of his options. Because of this maybe he isn't real sure how to handle it when you go in to your sad mode. So here is how to fix it...
Ask him one day (randomly) "If I was sad right now what would you do?" Try and ask him this when you are alone and kind of intamate. Like watching a movie and you are both really into it. He will say something like "Hold you" or something like that. Pretty much he will try and sweet talk you. Then say "Then why don't you when I am sad?" Challenge him. Then tell him it bothers you when he won't comfort you. He'll come around it just may not be right when you want him to.
Also don't be so dramatic. This being dramatic can affect you worse than actually being sad over something. Hang in there, hun. He'll come around.
Hope this works for you,
Kelse Kaye
P.S. Keep me posted!
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my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and my boyfriend roosevelt is 16 years old and my cousin atraci says that he wrote her a letter saying that he said that she was more prettier,sexier than i was and that he said that he would have sex with her over me even though she's only 15 but my problem is i don't know who to belive becouse traci has lied to me in that past and roosevelt says that he didn't do it but i want belive traci becouse she's my cousin and i mean why would she lie to me about something like this? (link)
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Here are some answers to if they were lying...
Traci is lying= She could be lying because she is jealous of what you and Roose (hope that's okay that I'm calling him Roose) have together. She may want Roose. Talk to her about this and see if this is the reason she might be lying to you. She also just might be jealous of you period. Maybe she see's what you have and what she doesn't. She wants something of yours and you haven't let her have one, but the second she see's one thing she might be able to have she'll take it. So be aware she might just want to be even with you. And because she's fifteen this could really be the reason. She hasn't quite matured yet.
Roose is lying= Maybe to hime you're not giving him enough. But if this is the deal than you shouldn't worry about that and break it off now. He should take you for who you are not for what his desires are. Talk to him about this and make him tell you the truth. If he is really into you he will end up telling you the truth. Sounds stupid but if he says yeah he did write it he is probably feeling guilty about it and you might wanna give him a second chance. But if he lies and you find out later dump him quick.
You shouldn't have to put up with any of this. If your cousin is lying there isn't much you can do about it but try to get over it with her. If Roose is lying you can get rid of him easy. So do what you think is the best. Try to work this out with either of them.
Kelse Kaye
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i have a very strict father who wont let me date or do anything until I'm 18. So how do you make out? (link)
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Making out isn't something that you can really learn from someone else. You have to just do it. So when you're ready and the time comes just make out. It will come naturally and you'll see that ther was nothing to worry about. Don't be nervous or you will have a higher probability of messing up. Don't just rush into it either. You'll know when the right time comes. But also if you need a little boost to push you off into making out with who ever you want to...make them conforatble with you. Don't rush it for them or yourself and they will probably come to you. Well...hope all goes great!
Kelse Kaye
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My boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 2 months now..and all we have done is makeout, and that is all i am planning on doing with him, i don't believe in sex before marriage. but what kinds of things can we do to keep things interesting when together, or making out or w/e, but no tounge...and no sexual stuff beyond makeing out...???? (link)
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Well I'm in the same boat as you. I have the same morals and we have been dating for about 6 months though. When it got about 2 months we started getting a lot more frisky and I told him to back off and he did. So first you should probably discuss this with your boyfriend to make sure that he knows to keep his distance. And I believe that oral sex is considered sex. Also think about this would you like your future husband to be giving oral sex to his girlfriend right now and then when you are married would you like the fact that you have to kiss what has been in another woman's vagina. And it's even weirder to think of him kissing your kids goodnight. So here's what you can do to lighten things up a bit...
1)Tease him every once in a while. Don't look overly sexy but a sophisticated sexy where it doesn't look like your sending him the wrong message. Don't go beyond what is good for your age either. There's nothing like a 12 year old tramp. So tease him into kissing you. Give him little kisses and bite his lip(not too hard) pull it out a little and then kiss him on the cheeck. It will flow and you'll know what to do after that.
2)And hun, no tongue? I'm not trying to be rude in any way but you'll probably start to have to use that tongue. And when you do use it...kiss him really hard one day and the next give him a really cutsie type of kiss (like smiling and having a fun time with it). The next day give him a really sentual kiss. Keep him guessing on which one your gonna give him.
So that's all I have for you. I hope it works out great, but remember to stay true to your values and don't let him take something from you that means a lot to you.
Have fun,
Kelse Kaye
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19/F
Ok this seems long and soap-opera-ish but please bear with me. I’ve gotten rid of some of the details to make it shorter but please tell me if it isn’t clear enough. And please don't rant at me about being a cheating b**** or anything. I know I am a bad bad person. I just need you to tell me what to do.
Nate has always been the typical "rich bad boy" type. He gets a pack mentality when he is with his boys so he’s labeled an official ***hole. He's had a pretty bad past and when you get him alone, he’s different. He and I go a few years back when I wasn't into the party scene, and it got around that he "wanted" me. I shot that down and he gave up. I've been intrigued by him (i.e. had a crush on him) and we always used to exchange looks all the time at school and parties and I could feel the sizzles (but wasn’t sure it was mutual). Only last year did we start talking a bit inside and outside school. Then I finished school and didn’t see him.
In May, I met Blake. He’s ridiculously good-looking, the sweetest guy ever, and a cook. I didn’t think he was into me so I backed off then recently, Blake started showing interest in me and I was thrilled. We were perfect for each other, our life goals and views were the same, we had minor arguments sometimes, which ended with practically no resentment on either end, and we always made up quickly. It was the perfect relationship. I was still a virgin but he understood because he had only been with one chick (his year-long girlfriend in grade 11).
End of last year, Nate and I ended up at a party together. I was hammered out of my mind and we had sex in a bedroom. It was harsh to the point that he did it, shoved me away and left. I was broken after. Eventually, I told Blake and he was mostly sad for me and he did whatever he could to make me feel better. Including sex and it was just like the rest of our relationship, comfortable.
Then one day, Nate showed up at my house after I saw him at the mall and went home all shaken up. We had sex. We have had sex about five times now altogether. Usually it’s when I’m vunerable. It’s pretty much casual sex but it is explosive as in really really hot, stuff I thought didn’t exist outside novels. Blake and I haven’t even come close, even though there is some sizzle, it isn’t comparable. Told Blake once and he was mad but he came back and told me he’d still have me and he didn’t understand. Usually Nate just has sex with me and sticks around for a while and leaves but one time, he actually stayed after and kissed my face and stuff.
This is what confuses me. Blake and I are perfect for each other and it’s not a completely devoid of sexual drive either but when I’m with Nate, it feels right like it’s exactly where I belong.
I’m just so afraid of hurting Blake. I want to stay with him but at the same time, I feel like puking when I think about what a disgusting unfaithful slut I’m being. And I’m pretty sure Nate doesn’t want a relationship. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to look back twenty years from now and regret it. I know that bad boy’s can’t be tamed but I know his history and I kind of still ache for Nate but Blake is just perfect.
Help? (link)
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By reading this I first thought that you really do know what you are talking about, but then I thought she wouldn't be asking us this if she did know what she was talking about so...
A) Nate could be using you and maybe he's not. None of us can tell you wether or not he is. That is your decision to make. Maybe he really does like you. So find out wether or not he is using you or if he does like you. My opinion, he has to have some sort of feelings for you or else he wouldn't be coming back to you. So how to resolve this...tell him how you feel about the situation. You're smart and I'm sure you can think of a way. Get his opinion. Because if he has no feelings for you (which I completely doubt) then he will tell you and you will have a better time deciding which boy to pick. And if Nate is making you feel so right then why aren't you with him? It's resentment of knowing the truth. And like I said before find this truth out before making a decision you might regret.
B) Blake...oh Blake. From my prespective of this story he is head over heels for you. If you don't think this is true think about it. You have told him twice and he's still with you. Any other guy would say F*** you I can find someone better. So you have found yourself a really caring and loveable person. So why are you damaging that? Because you're not sure yet. It's okay to be not sure, but for his sake you might wanna start getting sure. If you care for Blake as much as you say you do then I know you have to be feeling like a total and complete b**** for doing this. I'm not just saying this to piss you off I'm saying this so it's embedded in your mind. Obviously you know what you're doing and you've already said these things, but have you thought about them hard? Think about this story from a different prespective. Like, Blake's prespective. Act as if you were him reading this knowing all the things you, Nate, and Blake know. You'll feel more of something to reread over and over. It will help your decision also. In my opinion, Blake is a great person that can give you what you want in life, but if you're not satisfied with him then you should think of what isn't making you satisfied. What is it? You got it? THink about it hard. Now talk to him about it. Maybe it's the lack-of-sex part. If it is tell him. If it's to unconforatble then you shouldn't have sex with him anyways and keep sleeping with Nate.
C) And you don't want to hurt any of them, right? Wrong. It's impossible. If Nate is using you then it probably won't hurt him at all. But I think he has feelings for you. So then it would hurt him to say "Hey, Nate I don't wanna have sex anymore...I'm with Blake." And more than likely Blake will be really heart broken. So which one do you choose? I have no clue. You do though. Talk to both of them. Find some way to make it work with ONE of them. You know that you can't have both for the rest of your life. Talk to both. Tell them everything. Maybe you shouldn't tell Blake everything if you don't want to, but if you do go ahead it's your life don't let me make any decisions for you. You're smart and so are they so don't think that they are completely blind to all of this. They both know some sort of something.
So lastly...do what you feel is right and not what anyone says. Be with the one you love and not the one that gives you pleasure, but if the one you love gives you nothing then retreat to the one you're passionate with. It really isn't about not hurting one of these guys although one will get hurt. It's really about what makes you happy and complete. I hope everything works out. Tell me how things end up!
xx
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So I like this boy right. Except he's pretty shy. and well let's just say I'm pretty outgoing. I don't really talk to him, like I've talked to him once. And I don't want to randomly talk to him all the time and him be like "wtf why does this girl keep talking to me?!". I don't have any classes with him so I don't know how to start a conversation with him. I have lunch with him and I'm friends with his friends. How should I handle this situation? Any ideas? Thanks so much! (link)
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Wow. Same exact thing I'm going through and I got some answers so here are some that might help you. First off don't be somebody your not just to get his attention. Make sure to stay you at all times so that he doesn't fall head over heals for the "other" you. Then after a while you'll get bored of putting on a show and that could end badly. And I know how hard it is to just go up to a guy and start talking. So maybe hang out with your friends that are his friends and invite some of your friends over to your house or to the movies and tell them to invite him. Maybe when your there hanging out he'll notice you and you will be more at ease talking to him if you're around mutual friends. Don't be to outgoing at him. Remember the number one rule we already discused to be you. Don't be so out goint that it will annoy him. After a while of talking flirt a little and then he will feel much more at ease to flirt with you and talk to you back. I hope I helped!
Good luck with this boy,
Kelse Kaye
P.S. If you need additional help or are not satisfied with this answer just leave one in my inbox. Thanks!
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17/f
my boyfriend and i broke up about 1/2 a week ago. we found out last night that we both still really like eatchother. there are a lot of problums, like i hardly ever see him durring the day(our classes changed in the new semester) and, as i told him, we are both presented with new oppertuinities every single day and its hard missing out on other people for someone you hardly ever see, even if it is worth it. i kindof regret breaking up with him, but it seems like that doesnt even matter because we basicly broke up with eatchother at the same time, and he would have broken up with me, annyway. we care about eatchother a lot, and this is reallly bothering me. it was getting hard for me to trust him, also, because it seemed like he just didnt really 'act' like he had a girlfriend when i wasnt around, and i had seen him winking at other chickas when he didnt know i was around. i dont really know what to do. please someody give me some advice
thanx much xoxo (link)
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Well first off I have been through the same thing a million times with my ex. My ex and I still like each other infact we love each other, but I completly trust him. I think that relationships should be built on trust, compatability, communication, and honesty. If you don't have one of those it could be a real problem. I think you should focus on your trust issue with him before you come to any conclusions and date him again.
Trust is an extreme thing and is not one of those things you should let everyone have a peice. Make sure before you say yes or no that you trust in him to be a loyal boyfriend with you. That is something that can affect your relationship with him if you do not review it carefully.
Next, the thing about not getting to see him as often as you once did. I think in my personal expeirience that you should consider wether or not he would be able to deal with seeing you less. Because if not then you shouldn't persue him. Like you said there are more oppertunities out there for you and if you need to take one then take one of those and don't wait on him. So lastly, make sure to keep yourself protected. You need to make sure that he won't hurt you again and you won't regret persuing one of the other oppertunities. Hope this helped, hun.
Hope I helped,
Kelse Kaye
P.S. If you need more help just leave one in my indbox.
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