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I am here to help, so take full advantage!

My name is Kat and I know how it feels to feel like there's no one you can talk to about something, or like no one cares. I DO. And I will try to help you as best I can. I promise nothing more or less than a friend to talk to, a listening ear, and someone who will tell their honest opinion on your dilemma. I usually answer your questions from my phone-online, so i wont be able to see EVERY link.

You can leave your question in my INBOX or you can even email me or add me on myspace.
:]

P.S. Feedback is GREATLY appreciated-- help me help you.

[Namaste]

advice

i need a good song that basically says
im done with you you dirty scumbag
your a liar and a cheater ... etc.
but no CARRIE UNDERWOOD please

Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar
I also like Another One Bites The Dust by Queen, although it has nothing to do with a breakup. Just makes you think "oh well, another one down".
Good luck with your healing process.

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I wanna make my boyfriend a mixed cd. We are in a long distance relationship and I want to mail him a mixed CD that I plan on putting together with great thought. But he's in college and I'm in highschool. Would it seem too "highschool" of me to do that? Do college kids even make mixed CDs for each other? Or is this a cute idea? I want to suprise him with the CD in the mail. Tell me what you think!

I say go for it!
Its definetly a good idea.. some cool songs, some sentimental songs... add in some songs that remind you of him or that tell him how you feel. My boyfriend who was in college made me one, so it's not a little kid idea. Mix cd's are the ultimate cheap cute relationship gift.
=]

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im dating this guy, and hes really nice, but i dont really like him much anymore. and i know this other guy, and hes really nice. but we met online and i barley know him, and i think im falling for him. me and my guy have been fighting alot, and me and the other guy live in totally different states....what do you think i should do?

I can't tell you what to do... But I can point out the obivous and hope you make the best dicision for yourself and your circumstances. So I'll start by stating that you are in a relationship that you are starting to question and you're not feeling like you use to twords the guy. You're not 100% into it, because if you were you wouldn't be being swayed by this new online guy. Secondly, the guy online is purely just that. A guy ONLINE. You have the comfort of not being hurt as much because you don't have to deal with him on a day-to-day basis or confront him face to face. That can both be good for some insecurities, but bad because everyone needs affection. The affection would just be cute notes or emails..not a hug or kiss.
You didn't include your age, so I don't know if your young, in your late teens, 20's, or older. That could have a lot to do with your decision too. Because if you are older, you could eventually meet your cyber prince charming.
Sometimes not have the reality of a guy to argue with in person sounds like the better option, but you have to think of which one your heart is more into. And which one you can just keep as a friend-if that.

Hope this sheds some clarity and light on your situation. Make a good choice-you deserve to be happy!

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What age do you think is the right age to have a boyfriend? I am 13 but Im not sure what age is the right time. Thanks!

Whenever you feel you are mentally and physically ready for one. It takes a certain amount of maturity, but no specific age. I didn't have my first boyfriend til i was 14, and i know some people who haven't til they were 18. My little sister's friends were 11 or 12 with boyfriends. It all depends..
but just because you are dating someone doesn't mean they have full advantage of you. Don't do anything you don't want to until you are ready. Dating, kissing, making out, etc.

=]

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I'm 15 years old, female i live in Iowa. i've never liked the computer much, but for the past six months, ive been on it every night for an average of five hours and sometimes more. the reason-- i met this guy, he's 17 and he lives in california. the first time i met him, we talked for 14 hours straight. (not exagerating) he's so great.. i can talk to him about anything and i'm understood so well.. i can understand him too and he says he's never felt the way he feels when talking to me...this probably sounds creepy but it's honestly not. i really love him.. i don't know why. i just do. i know 15 is young to love and probably to young. i've never felt this way about a guy.. i look at other guys and see nothing in them, no future. i just want him. We both have these feelings and want to meet. i know it's dangerous. I've been warned about how he can be different in person or not even be what he says he is. also that he could rap/kidnap/kill me. I know all of the bad stuff that can happen yet i still want to see what could happen. I don't want to ask myself 5 years from now what could have happened if we did meet. Even through all of this, i'm scared alot. it's so hard to like someone so much who is so far away. is it wrong for me to want to meet him in person?... if not.. what should i do? >

No problem, and the question was not long. I usually get longer. :]

First of all, i suggest you talk to your parents about him and ask if its okay if he meets you. I suggest for safety purposes you do a 'family outing' thing. Your family meets him and you all go out mini-golfing, or to the movies, or out to eat, etc. Its double cool because first of all YOU ARE SAFE, and secondly, he can meet the parents and get to know them. I wouldn't suggest meeting him in person just the two of you, right off the bat because of all of the scary online stories. You may think that it would suck because your family would 'cramp your style', but you can tell if a guy is good if he can meet the 'rents and act good in front of them. Plus, if he's not what you expected your family could always just cut it short and take you home and you would't be obligated to stick with him the whhooolllleee time.
If all goes well you guys can always sneak off for a few minutes to 'get a drink' or get popcorn during the movie(the parents dont always have to be around), you guys can sit next to eachother, have one on one chats, etc.
I think it's really the best thing. I really hope you take my advice and DON'T see him BY YOURSELF.
Just ask your parents to set a date that would be fine for him to come over on. Im sure they'd love the fact that you 'want them around' and aren't sneaking around to go meet this guy by yourself. Tell them you want to really meet him, but you would't without their permission and them coming along to meet this guy.

I hope it all works out, Love!

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So, me and my friend just admitted to liking each other about a week ago and we've been talking about dating and being together.

Theres a huge problem, it's way bad timing. He will be leaving for the Marines soon after Thanksgiving. We are both happy to wait but the thing is that this JUST started. I mean, we aren't in love so I'm not sure if these feelings will just fade overtime on his part and I'll be waiting for someone who can't break up with me.

But I really think this guy is great and I'd be passing up the chance with someone wonderful, so I'm pretty stuck.

So I'm wondering if it's a bad idea to start something and ANYONE who has experience to please share their stories, I'm open to any answer:)

My friend and her boyfriend had the same problem. She was about 17 and he was about 20 when they started going out and just like you around Thanksgiving he had to leave. She stayed with him and they hung out everytime he came home for a visit. They eventually got engaged and she stayed with him though it was hard to be so far(she lived in California and he was stationed in Japan). They spoke on the phone almost every night and loved eachother very much-couldnt wait til the moment they could get married. She is 19 now and they broke up because he kept keeping secrets, drinking a lot, and kept accusing her of cheating though we actually thought that he cheated on her with women in Japan.

My best advice would be to stay friends but CLOSE friends. Then maybe later you continue on with a RELATIONSHIP. Its so hard and I've seen first hand that it hurts if and when it ends. Think about it and your options. I say just make the remaining time you guys have together fun and meaningful and the rest will come after.

Hope this helped you.

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okay so im 13/f. my bf is 14... weve been going out for 1 month.
kayy so heres the thing..
he LOVES making out..
but i dont..kinda prude i know..
so heres the thing..
i dont know how to make out..
ive made out once with my ex and i HATED it because he just did it so slobbery..
or i dont know if it was me=\.
i hope not..
so hes always lyk babe i cant wait to makeout with you and bite your lips ...
so then when we walk to 4th period [[when he wants to makeout]]he always gets me in a corner...
and i just try avoiding it..
can anyone give me advice to how to makeout?
or how to make it special or w.e.?

It is totally understandable that you don't like making out, and there is nothing wrong with that! I'm not going to give you any 'you're too young' crap or stuff like that, but I will tell you that you have plenty of time to discover making out and kissing techniques later on. Sounds like this guy is putting a little pressure on you to want to make out all the time. Until you are totally comfortable with him, yourself, and making out I say just have fun with lip nibbling and just kissing. You don't have to make out you can just make slow nice sensual kisses or something to that effect. That's also a nice card to pull if someone makes out bad. ;-)

Hope this helps you.

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Hi Im almost 15 and I havent had aboyfriend yet it may be becuz I am fat but I was wondering if I willl ever have one I feel so lonely and confused That all my friends have had one and I havent!!

plzzzz tell me why im so unwanted!

I let my younger sister with the same problem answer this, and here's what she wrote:

Don't worry, a boyfriend will be walking through your door soon.Just let the boys think "wow,look how confidant she is!". Only the right guy will exept your weight. Don't rush it,let them all know that you're alright with your weight.Also just think that some guys are going through the same problem.

--in addition to what she said, I have something to add... You have to be happy with yourself first before someone else can be happy with you. If YOU think you're fat, work out a bit, but if you're okay with what you look like then you just need someone who loves you for who you are and who you are inside. There is no rush to be in a relationship.

=] hope this helps.

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Hi this may sound like a stupid question but most of my freinds have boyfreinds but I cant get one cause the guys at my school say that their family wont let them go out with a colored person which I am well mixed raced and also that mixed girls are ugly! This is very hurtful to hear do you think I should change school? Most of my friends say they are joking but it is a form of racisim what should I do?

You must live in one of the middle states, am I correct? Anyways, I want YOU to know mixed is as beautiful as they get. I can't express enough how beautiful and exotic tanned and colored people are. First of all you need to be comfortable with yourself and comfortable in your skin. Be confidant in who you are and people will see that. People may even step out of their 'bubble of a world' to try to get to know you better-get closer to you.

Do not be saddened by this form of racism, because they are just ignorant and you are the smarter and better of the two. You are too good to be trying to go after someone who would try to treat you like less because your skin is different. Your insides are exactly the same.

I cannot tell you if you should change schools or not YET, but I can tell you to keep being strong and independent, to keep having a big heart and people will see this and be attracted to you. If this does not work out after a while and you still feel like changing schools then do so on your own accord. But DO NOT let them push you around or let them think they are the 'superior species' because you and me know otherwise.

Slavery, discrimination, and racism should be minimal to none now a' days.. Don't be another person forced into it.

Goodluck & Best Wishes

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20/f

I became depressed and never liked myself because of who I am I want to run away from every one to keep them away from my depression. But I couldn’t hold it in, I told them what was wrong and they said I should tell Lara how I feel. I deny it for 7 years to not tell her but it got to the point that I was about to blow! So I told Lara that I am bi sexual and I am in love with her. Lara was in shocked but stayed there by my side to listen to me. She respected me and will try to help me as much as she can.

After I told Lara how I felt 10 months ago I went to a party and met this guy, nothing happen but I told Lara about it. She then got mad, she said she was not sure to be happy for me or pissed. I didn’t understand what she meant.

I told her that I am moving on and you are not making it easy on me. And she said she was jealous because she didn’t want to drift apart from our friendship and was afraid that we won’t be close anymore. She told me that she was jealous of my last two boyfriends in the year of high school. (And I remember her odd behavior, when I told her and my other friends that I got a boyfriend name Tony she ask me privately if we are going to kiss. And I look at her and said “maybe why? “ Lara said “well you know I hate it when people kiss” but after she said that, that made me wonder.) So now I’d told Lara that the reason why I went out with them is because I want to get over her and move on. And that’s why I want to move away to rethink my thoughts. She asks me why I liked her and I said “I don’t know how it happened but it did. But I am attracted by smarts, mysterious and adventures personality and that’s what you are.
But I really can’t explain it; it’s hard to put into words.”

Lara only had one boyfriend that lasted 3 days at freshmen year and she never told me about him until I found out the day she broke up with him. I ask Lara 2 days after she broke up with him why she didn’t tell me and she got all defective and said “I thought Rachel told you” (our friend who knew that Lara was going out with Josh) but I explain it to her that its yourself suppose to tell the friends. And she still got defective (I never understood that). But after him she had no one else she had some crushes but never ask them out but now when I ask her if she wanted a boyfriend she says “no not really”.

I got mad at Lara because it sounded like she like me back and I didn’t want her to (even thou I do wish it) Because I don’t think I can be good in a relationship because of me not believing in myself. I told Lara that but she didn’t respond to it. September last week I gave her a note that read:

I want to make things clear between us, because I been feeling quiet confused at the moment.
When I explain myself to you and how I felt about you, you took it respectfully and I am grateful for that. You told me in the chat room that you are fine about my feelings but don’t like me in that way. I respect that and so I moved on. But when I told you that I meet that guy Paul at the party you seem a bit jealous and I ask why you where. And it did catch me off guard, when you explain it to me and I didn’t know what to say but I was really confused because I didn’t know what to think. So I want to ask you, do you like me more than a friend? I need to know just to make things a bit clear, if you don’t then that’s fine we will stay good friends. I value our friendship very much but it seems like right now it is on the line and I don’t want anything to break it.

Please write me back when ever you can.

She hasn’t written me back and it’s been 3 weeks, I see her every Tuesday and Thursday because we have math class together. And it’s been bugging me why she hadn’t written back. What I think is that she can’t decide or to afraid to say no I don’t know but I want to know soon. What should I do?

7 years is a long time to hold something that important in. I think you should ask Lara if you guys can do something after class(dinner, cup of coffee, etc.), or talk for a few minutes after if she has something else she has to do. Its good that you have tried to move on from after she told you she didn't feel the same way... But now it sounds like you're making her jelous by being with other people. She may be starting to have unexplained feelings for you now and doesn't really understand it, herself. She may be undecided on if she should act upon her impulses or not. Either way, you need her to give you an answer for how she has been acting, because you need to know how she feels, and why she feels the way she does.

I think it may be stressing you a little, and go get an answer will relieve your mind. Ask her in person, but not in class or in front of tons of people. Tell her you're confused and you're her friend and you wish to know what's going on.

As for if she does like you and by some chance you get together or you get with someone else...

You must have some sort of self-confidence and self worth for someone to see that you are of worth. It shines through you and radiates and when you're confidant it attracts people; they feed off that positive energy. If you haven't gone to counseling yet, you might want to go every couple weeks or so to help relieve tention, stress, or even just to talk about how you feel about life. You can gain back a lot of confidence.


No matter what happens though, try to remain close to your friends. Don't do anything that may wound your friendship. It sounds like you guys have a tight-knit relationship and it would be sad to see that split.

Much love & Best wishes.

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What are some good songs about getting cheated on?

Maroon 5-Wake Up Call
Kelly Clarkson-Never Again
Beware! Criminal-Incubus
Salt For Your Wounds-AFI
Devil Beside You-The Used

Just a few.

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whats a good thing to start with a boy. i mean .. like..
if you both are in the same place rite.. and you wanna talk what stuff do you bring up
other than
how are you
how was your day
your family.
all that,, borin stuff..
thanks..

Depends if you want to be 'normal' or 'random/funny'.

If you choke a smurf, what color would it turn? (Random question)

If a tree falls and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound? (Philosophical question)

Do you have a job? (Normal)

Where were you born? (Normal)

Do you like sports/ What kind of sports are you into? (Normal)

What kind of music do you like? (Normal)

Been to any concert lately?/Any good concerts coming up? (Normal)

What's on the agenda tonight? (Weekend question)

There's a few. Hope some of this helps.

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Me and my babys dad have been apart since july 10th. I hadnt seen him up until September 8th when he was calling me in the early morning even though i was with someone starting Mid August. Before then I hadnt heard from him. Our son is 8 months old and he doesnt bother to come by and see our son , his only child, but his mother, dad and siblings live right around the corner and he visits them. None of them try to call or come see my baby.I dont like the guy im with because he is 10 years older and boring i miss my babys dad even though weve had vulgar words passed to each other and fighting when he wanted me i still wanted him but i didnt want him to mess up who i was talking to and be with whomever he was with Does he still love us?

Love twords a baby-im sure you know-is infinite. Honestly, I don't know how he couldn't. Some people have their own pains and demons to work out... And maybe he's doing that now. Maybe you guys having a baby was too much for him to handle- unplanned, unprepared, and he wasn't ready to slow down and have a family and 'duties' yet. Although you have much love for him and he's your baby's father, is it the BEST THING for you both? You have to weigh the pros and cons here because this could be a big deal.

You don't want your child growing up around yelling, arguing, and parents that don't love eachother. I'm going to be honest here sweetie.. Don't you think that if he loved you he'd be with you right now. ESPECIALLY in your time of need?? Your a single mother, and that's hard stuff, babe. I congradulate you on being so strong and not breaking down on your baby. I want you to know that this guy in my personal opinion doesn't deserve such a sweet person. I know he's your baby's dad... And that's a hard and big thing to pass up having, but if you guys don't get along....you just really don't want to mess up your child's perception of 'love'... It could stick with him/her forever.

So my advice is weigh it out, if it really could work and your 100% for it, that's your decision, but if you decide against it, I still say he should visit regularly. What father doesn't care to see their child?? Also, with the guy you're with.. Ask yourself WHY you're with him and if its worth it. You say he's boring, and that's not a good sign if your mate is boring. He's older than you by a long shot, and he may not be into the things you are. You deserve HAPPINESS.

Goodluck, and best wishes to you and your baby, Mom!

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i use to like a girl but i dont anymore but i cant stop looking at her i asked her out in 4 and 7th grade both times she said no im not a freshman in high school and i want to no what to do so it doesnt feel weird looking at her?

It won't be awkward if you don't make it awkward. Keep your calm. Though you say you don't like her anymore it kind of sounds like you do. Staring at her and feeling wierd about it kind of shows that maybe your not over her completely like you thought you were. I say become her friend. Guys go through awkward stages when their younger, and your older now, so have a better chance at landing a girl. If you relax your nervousness won't show and she won't notice your uncomfortable. I wish you the best and if you have any more questions inbox me!

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Well I like this guy that's in like 1 of my classes and he's like the type of guy that's shy towards the girl that he likes...I'm also the type of girl who's shy towards the guy that I like. So I don't know what to do! I'd much rather like for him to come up and talk to me first then for me to have to go up to him, but I don't think that'll happen!:(
So what can I do??? Any advice is greatly appreciated...thanx in advance!

I think you'll have to try to make conversation. You can try to smile when he looks your way, write him notes, even email him if the shyness is that bad. I think you looking like you're open and like him will nake him want to open up too. Guys do not like rejection so he's risking that by going up to you and asking you out. I think you should just try your best to make small talk so you can make him comfortable enough to make the big move.

Goodluck

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So this is how the conversation over facebook went...


me:We were having such a good conversation in the courtyard, i was hoping we could continue it with an exchange of numbers.

her:ohh really?..wellllll maybe you'll be brave enough to ask me for it next time.

me:haha ouchh, i was brave enough to walk up and talk to a good looking stranger, that deserves at least the first 3 digits...

her:hahah.. oooh a compliment and everythingg im gunna have to think about that

Keep it up... Your doing a good job and she likes your sense of flirting. She knows you're into her and wants you to keep up the chase. She's flaunting herself in front of you and that she likes you, but she's not so easy to get so you must show her more. Let her know you, and win the girl.

Goodluck!

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k so i had my homecoming last night and i had a date but he got suspeneded the day before so he couldn't go but i also had a thing going with my friend who took this other girl that i hate. At homecoming my friend and i ended up making out and his date, including my date who got suspended friends are very mad at me and him. I don't know what to do it fix it all and convince everyone that i'm not a slut and it was a mistake. How can i make it up to my date that got suspended? PLEASEE HELP!

Honestly, I think that was some of the best possible advice you could have gotten on this situation. I agree 100% and could explain it any better than she did. Hope you take her advice!

Goodluck!

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im a trannyboy...well working on it ;)
im only 14 so yeah thats why im still "working on it"
so im biologically female...for some brief background info.
now to the question...
me and my g/f have been dating now for a little over 4 months
we are doing great and i love her so much...and she feels the same way back.
i would like to do something to make her smile,something really sweet but i cant think of anything,any ideas people?

If she likes music- make a mix cd of all the songs that make you think of her. Like the soundtrack of when you look into her eyes. =)
Orrr... A funny cute thing could be to have a candle-lit dinner at McDonalds or some fast food place. Its something she'd never expect. Cheezy yet thoughtful. Just make sure you OK it with the place first! You'd set it up before she came so she's surprised. Lol.
..Or You can buy her a little tiara and make her wear it all day, saying she's your princess.

My ideas are pretty much cheezy... But cheezy enough to make someone smile.

Goodluck with this, and with your transformation!

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Ok last year i liked this guy Matt but i stopped likeing him towards the end of the year but now i keep having dreams about him sounds weird i know but i dont know why i'm dreaming about him because when i have dreams i dont dream about the guys i like i dont even dream alot but the past few night i've been having dreams about him and i dont know why does anybody know?

Answer to your recent response 9/25:
I think you need to talk to matt and see what's going on. Ask him why everyone keeps telling you this stuff first (to bring up the conversation). If you want to know go straight to the source. I doubt him and his friends would try so hard and persistantly if it were a joke. Maybe he sees something in you that is refreshing and not like other girls. I'd strike up some conversstions with him. It couldn't hurt! :)

---------
I use to have dreams-actually still do-about people I care for. Not like in the sense where their just in my dreams, but they are my dreams. I've found it to be that I'm very in tune. The world has its ways-quantum psychics, electronic frequencies and fields, etc. It has its ways of linking things of importance, doesn't matter if its small or big, to a person who is open to it. Maybe your suppost to help him with something... A problem or something. He may be in trouble or will soon be. Mine usually happen before someone I love is in for something. I end up telling them to watch out because something's going to happen, or if it already has, then it could get worse.

It can also come in on a positive note. You can maybe be sensing uplifting frequencies from him, or maybe your feeling that he's thinking of you.
Look into it.

Goodluck.

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Idk about this kid anymore (he's a sort of ex), but here's the situation.

All I wanted to do was the talk to him (I told a friend to tell him to call me, since I have no classes with him), and he was like "No..she's going to ask me to homecoming".

After he said that, I was just irritated, and said "You know what? Screw you, jackass. Just so you know, I have a boyfriend, and I'm already going to homecoming with someone. I just wanted to talk to you."

According to my friend, he was really shocked and he acts all awkward around me now, but whatever.

Now, I hear that he admitted to liking this girl that's been, like, stalking him. i mean, she's a nice girl and all, but anyone with a brain can tell that he doesn't like her.

But anyways, he admitted to liking the girl to one of my best friends (the same best friend who told him to call me)

Is he trying to make me jealous? I know full well that he doesn't like this girl. About a year ago, he supposedly told her "I used to like you, but not anymore". He looks hella bored when she tries talking to him. Yet, he is apparently going around telling people he likes her, and has convinced my best friends that he does like her.

But I don't believe it at all. This girl has liked him for two years, and he's known that. It just seems odd to me.

Your thoughts?

3 things....:
One, I totally disagree with that first 'make him jelous back' comment. What are we, in grade school??
Secondly, he may actually like her but you can't really see because your too into the whole you and him thing. He may actually have moved on... If so, just accept it, because you have moved on as well.
And third, if he HASN'T moved on and is actually lying, its because he was hurt you were so blunt with him. It was something he wasn't expecting you to tell him, and he was expecting to have the upper hand. Since you put him in his place he has a bit of a bruised ego, and you know guys-they have to act tough and pretend they don't care. This shows he does. If he's pulling this, he's taking the easiest target (a.k.a. Miss.Obsessive-Pants) and using her to cover the truth. He's telling everyone he likes her because he knows it will get back to you and he doesn't want to pull the whole 'tell you off' thing, because you already did. He'd just feel lame telling you right back off because he knows it would show your right and that it hurt him. He doesn't want that. Ah... Hope any of my ranting made sense. Lol.

Goodluck.

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