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Hi I'm a 27 year old female from British Columbia, Canada. I work in retail as a sales assoicate. I have an above average intelligence about relationships and mental health issues and love giving advice to those in need. My parents bitterly divorced when I was 13 and through this I learned a lot about relationships. I've also lived through a severe depression and mental breakdown in my early twenties, so I know a lot about mental health. If anyone has a question for me about either of these topics I would be glad to answer as best to my abililty. I would just like to add how much joy this site had brought to my life. I truly believe that by helping others you help yourself.
Website: Life Is What You Make It
Gender: Female
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Occupation: Sales Associate
Age: 27
Member Since: September 20, 2005
Answers: 75
Last Update: August 31, 2007
Visitors: 8655

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does anyone have a quote or song lyrics about a guy that you like who sort of likes you back but he likes someone else more?
thanks in advance! :) (link)
Yes i do!
The band is called The J. Giels Band.
The song is called "Love Stinks"

The lyrics say "well he loves her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else, you just can't win",
Love Stinks! Yeah Yeah!
You can get the song off the wedding singer soundtrack.


My boyfriend dumped me about 3 months ago. It was a great relationship that almost lasted a year. He was the only guy I've ever loved and we had so much together. The problem is, I can't let go. I still wake up depressed, cry sometimes, and talk about him constantly. Him & I barely talk but are on good terms. I don't understand why I can't move on? It's like I have this undying hope he'll come running back to me! Time is not helping and I just want to be happy again. (18/F) (link)
You are obviously still in love with him. But there is a reason that he is your ex bf. Whenever you wake up and feel depressed I want you to think of all the reasons why you're glad that he's NOT your bf anymore. This is great way to get over someone. Keep yourself busy too with your friends and start dating again. Also; you are still SO young. 18 years old- you have your whole life ahead of you. I'm ten years older than you and I still havent met anyone yet. I'm sure you're a lovely young woman. Time will heal this as well. Just take it one day at a time. Try to live in the present- don't worry about the past or the future.


I have been dating a guy for almost 6 months now and as october 25 2006 I had known him a year. I have dated many guys but none I have felt the way I feel about him! He is amazing and i cant seem to get enough of him. Our relationship is pretty much everything I wanted in a rrelationship, could he be the one? (link)
Here is the advice that someone else gave me once when I asked the same question that you have.
How to tell if you've met "Mr Right".
a. He's committed to being with you in the long run, and is dedicated to the relationship.
b. You can be completely honest. Both of you should feel comfortable expressing how you feel around each other.
c. He can comprimise- he cares enough to talk about your issues until you reach an agreement.
d. You don't want to change him. You love him for who he is and can accept his imperfections- the same goes for him with you.
e. No one looks better! Even if you saw Brad Pitt walking down the street your guy still thrills you the most!
I hope this helps!


Is it okay to be school-oriented...and be scared to have a boyfriend because you don't know whats going to happen in the end. Its like you are in a mix between "I don't know if its going to work out" and "I'm scared it might..." ..? Does anyone get what I'm saying? (link)
It sounds like two things are going on here. The first is that you're afraid of rejection; and the second is that you're afraid of committment. Either way, both signal to me that you are not ready, or mature enough yet to handle being in a romantic relationship.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling this way. I know people in their late twenties and early thirties who are still aftraid of committment.
I think highschool is a time to focus on your studies, and to get into a good college. You'll have tons of time after you get your highschool diploma to date guys. Don't rush into anything you're not ready for.


I've been single for almost two years because all the guys like the "Popular girls" I really want a bf and cant seem to get one..can anyone help me ?


Ill rate 5's all the way♥
thanks=] (link)
Maybe you're coming off as too desperate. Are you always the one to pursue the guys? In my experience from highschool, whenever the girls really went after the guys they usually got rejected. Remember that guys like to do the chasing. Try playing a little hard to get, and act like your not really interested in them. That always drives them crazy. The more you show you're not interested will just make them want you even more. They will see you as a challenge.
But don't act completely stuck up. Still be friendly around your girlfriends. If a guy sees you laughing a lot, and being a nice person around your friends and teachers, he will notice this. Wait for him to approach you.
One other thing: guys love girls who exude confidence. Even if you don't have any, you can pretend. Just carry yourself well, walk tall, dress nicely, have good hygeine, and remember to smile!


Is breaking up over the phone okay? Or should I make an effort to do it in person? (link)
Breaking up over the phone is the cowards way out. I think it's best to break up in person, it shows more maturity on your part. There are exceptions, though. If the guy you're breaking up with is voilent or abusive towards you, I wouldnt break up with him in person, it would be safer to end it either via email or phone.


Hey everybody thank you for reading this. There is this guy that I am crazy about, and we are friends and stuff but I think there might be something more. I like him alot....and I think he MIGHT like me too but I am not sure. I am sorta shy, 'specially about something like this. plus I dont want to scare him off or freak him out so I can't just tell him. What should I do?? Please respond Luv~Megz2009 (link)
Hi, I know what you're going through because I have been in the same situation. I am really shy too and the guy that I liked was also really shy. The way to know for sure is to watch his body language and facial reactions when you're around him. Does his face light up when he sees you walk into a room? Do you sense him looking at you when you start talking in front of a group of people? Do you catch him staring at you? Another way to tell is does he laugh at your jokes even when there not funny? Does he defend you when someone else is being mean to you?
Well I think you already know he likes you, but you just needed someone to confirm this. In my experience, if the guy is really shy too, YOU have to make the first move. I know it sounds scary, but trust me shy guys LOVE it when the girl they like makes a pass. You don't have to be really obvious about it either. Do something like throw him a really sexy smile, and make sure you hold his gaze. If the guy is into you, he will smile back, and be relieved that you did it first! Remember that guys are even more afraid of rejection then girls. If you don't want to do the smile, then just casually start a conversation with him. Invite him out for a date. Go somewhere where you can be all alone together, like the movie theatre.
Life is too short to wait for others to make the first move. I say GO FOR IT! You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain!


what are some signs of when a guy likes you? because theres this guy i like and im not sure if he likes me...please help ill rate (link)
Well it really depends on what type of guy he is.
If he is outgoing and popular, the signs would be very obvious. He would probably find excuses to flirt with you, and always be giving you lots of eye contact. He may even touch you, like stroke you shoulder or put his hand on your back. He would also have probably asked for your number, and talked to your closest friends about you (in a good way),
Now, if he is a shy and reserved type of guy, then the signs that he liked you would be a lot less obvious. He would probably look at you, but if you caught him he would blush and look away. I had a guy really like me, but never even knew because he was so shy! I found out from one of his friends that he was in love with me!!
So it's up to you. If you really like this boy, shy or not, you have to let him know how you feel. If he's outgoing, it won't be so hard. Just walk up to him and ask him out!
But if he's shy, then wait for you and him to be all alone (maybe when he's at his locker?) and just casually start a converation with him.
Good Luck, and have fun!


Right, i have a best mate called rowan (he's a guy im a girl but im called roHan lol) im 14 he's 14 and we'v been best mates kinda on an off for about 3 years, a month ago our friend nikki had a party and we were laying down and just watching a movie when we started kinda flirting and touching each other up then it prgressed and he fingered me and i gave him a handjob nobody saw us though, Since then we'v had a thing going in secret, we'l go up an alley for a *talk* after school, and stuff will happen, iv gievn him head twice and we'v talked online about fucking and stuff iv had 1 bf during this thing and he's had 2 gfs, its stopped then, thing is i dont actually have a crush on him and he doesnt have one on me, im just a lil confused an all, should i keep it going with him? or should i end it?
xxxx (link)
From what you've described it sounds like you two are just "fuck buddies". I agree with Young Grandma that you should stop this. I can already think of a couple reasons why. First off, you are both only 14, and I think a little young to be doing the things you're describing. Also, it might leave you to feel really guilty if you're still doing this with him while you find a guy that really does love you. Save yourself for true love. I think that this boy is just using you because you said that he doesnt have feelings for you. And remember, casual sex ( which is what this is ) is never really casual as some people would have us think. It triggers emotional as well as physical responses, and it has a fallout.
Also, what if he fell in love with another girl? Wouldnt you feel bad if you two were still fooling around when you were both in your late teens or early twenties and had other mates? Then you would both be having a secret pre-marital or post marital affair. End this now. There's just too much at stake, and your self respect and reputation are on the line. You are better than this!!
Take Care.
buzzie


I'm in love with this kid. No, I don't "think" I am, I KNOW I am. lol anyways..we've gone out about 4 or 5 times, we just split about a month ago. He said that he liked another girl that he always said he HATED. Anyways, I went to his football game the other night and they lost really bad so they were in a team huddle kind of thing and half his back and side were to me so he was supposed to be facing in the circle. But he kept turning his head a little and I knew for a fact he was looking at me. He did this a few times and I accidentally made eye contact with him almost twice.Don't you think that he's supposed to be listening to his coach instead of looking at me or something? Do you think maybe that he still has something for me? I dont know if I'm over reacting but I know if I didn't like a guy that much at my game I wouldn't be looking at him like he did to me. Any Ideas? thank yoouuu! (link)
Yes, I think from what you've described that he still has feelings for you. Why else would he be sneaking looks at you during a football game? But I also think he might be playing games with you too. If you broke up because he said he liked another girl that he always said he hated, well that sounds like just an excuse he used to dump you. Maybe he really likes you but got scared of how close you were getting-some guys are afraid of committment. He's also really young and still in highschool. My personal opinion is that maybe because he's a jock and on the football team, he was being pressured by his friends to dump you so he could "play the field".
The fact that he's still looking at you tells me that he still probably has feelings for you and is feeling quilty about dumping you.
But the more important thing is how do you feel about him? You need to talk to him, don't do it over the phone or email. Wait until you get him all alone without his jock friends. Tell him that you'd like another chance with him. See how he reacts. Remember to make sure you do this when the two of you are alone, and do it in person so you can see his facial expression and body language. I think your chances are pretty good. Go for it!

let me know what happens!



I am 29 years old. I met this guy who is 35 years old. Both of us are single.

I have known this guy for three months now. We always sms to each other. I spent some time with him at a forum. He was always talking to me about stuff.

I caught him staring at me when I was with my friends. When I had a cough, he was caring towards me and asked me whether I was fine or not. He bought me cough drops.

Recently he sent me a chinese new year card.

Does he like me?

What should I do?

Regards.

(link)
I think he does definately like you, but I don't nessecarily think that he likes you in a romantic way.
From what you've described, it sounds like he's a nice guy who respects and cares about you, but only AS A FRIEND. I feel this way because it's been 3 months by now since you've known this guy, and if he was interested in a romantic relationship he probably would have asked you out by now. Also when you said he was 35 and still single, that made me wonder if he is one of those guys that's afraid of committment, or enjoys being a batchelor. Most men by that age are married and have children, or atleast have a gf. Sending you the card was a nice gesture, by I don't think it means he wants a reltionship.
I have a male friend who cares about me, when I'm sick he'll bring me over me cough medicine and he always gets me birthday and xmas gifts. He told me that he loves me as a friend. I am fine with this because he is one of my best friends, and a romance just might ruin what we have.
But the more important question is how do you feel about him? Do you want to have a close male friend or a romance? I think you should phone him up and ask him excactly where his head is. Let him know everything you've told us and see what his response is. It might turn out to be positive and you two can end up happy, and if not, while then you'll know it wasnt meant to be.


Hi 15F. Just because im a girl means that im supposed to have a BF. and i dont by choice and becuase im ugly. but that still doesnt stop
family or friends from asking if i have a
BF.
usually when they ask i say no and leave it at that but they still ask other questions like why not? or do you think your gay?
its sooo annoying!
is there a way to say something that will make them stop asking these things i want to be polite yet firm.. i rate 5s. thanks.

~~No Boyfriend. No Problems.~~ (link)
You are only 15, so I don't think it's the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend. I never dated all through highschool. It wasnt that I didnt like guys, or that I was a lesbian, it was that I wasnt interested in any of the boys in my class because I found them to be too immature. Most of the guys just wanted sex and not a meaningful relationship. People are always going to gossip no matter what. I heard a few rumours that I was a lesbian. You just have to try and not let it bother you, or these people can destroy you.
If it comes up again that you don't have a boyfriend, just tell your friends that you havent met the right guy yet, and that you're just not interested in anyone from school. It's really no ones business but your own.
So try not to let them get you down. I know it's hard, but I'm living proof that you CAN survive highschool.


okay so theres this kid who really likes me and has asked me out so many times and each time i have politely said no, but lately he wont quit and keeps on asking me and asking me sometimes more than once a day! how do i tell him to stop asking me without being completely rude? (link)
Normally I would say to let him down gently, but when you have someone who just doesn't or won't understand that you're not interested, it's best to be FIRM.
I had a guy who was obsessed with me and followed me around like a puppy dog. He constantly asked me out and I was always really nice about it. Well one day he left a message on my voice mail and said "hey babe, call me at (his number). I was furious!! So I did something sort of mean, I got one of my friends to confront him and tell him to never phone me again and that I was NOT interested. He was really mad at me and hurt but guess what? He stopped asking me out and never bothered me again. His dirty looks were upsetting at first but at least he wasnt driving me insane any more.
So my advice is, if you're too nice to be mean to him, get a friend to confront him. It worked for me!
Good luck, let me know what happens.


over a period of time about 6 months i have become infatuatated with my colleugues wife. whenever i go to her house to see my collegue i keep staring at her. some times i feel she is also doing the same some times.i have definiteky seen her doing the same. I am 45yrs old happily married.she is about 40.I have a hunch that she wants me to make a move but i am not sure.i want to to take minimum of risk as the consequences are too much to bear.on other hand i feel a fling for a short time is not bad as we only live once.please help me (link)
Wow. So you're "happily married". Are you sure about that? If you were so happy with your wife why would you even consider having an affair? From what you've described it sound like you're just in lust with this woman, not in love. Lust is an emotion that usually fades over time. What you have with your wife is so much more than just lust, you have love, friendship, and live long committment. I think that you shouldnt make a move with your collegues wife. There's just too much at stake. You never mentioned having children, but if you did, think of how traumatized they would be if they knew their dad had an affair. Also think about your wife, and your collegue. Also your reputation if this got out. Please think about this carefully. Is one moment of passion worth a liftetime of regret?
I know in your heart you'll do the right thing.


Hi,
I am looking for this specific website where you can enter your guy friends in to try and set them up on blind dates, sort of like Match.com but it is specifically for girls to talk about their guy friends. I think this would be a great way to set my brother up. Does anyone know what the name of this site is? Thanks.
Shira (link)
I remember the site your referring to, but can't remember the website. But I do remember it being featured on Oprah one day.
Go visit her website at Oprah.com and you might be able to find it.


ok so this is an interesting situation. Pretty much em and my bf have been goin out since march. but he has moved to another province for work. Neither of us ever even mentioned breakin up, i had waited for him before and i am willin to wait for him again, but hes gone for a very long time not like just 2 or 3 months longer hes been gone for 4 months now,and we had made plans for him to meetme in a city near by and we could hook up again. But he never did get back to me on any of those plans, so i got really annoyed, so then a few dys later I had a friend tell me that he was commin to se me, so i asked him and found out that I had ruined one hel of a suprise, i felt horrible but was stil soo excited because is been so long . So he messaged me on msn saying that he was in town, o of course i was insanley excited, but i havent heard from him since its been a few days and every tiem i try to talk to him on msn he never replies.( i would call him but my phones in another town and thats where his cell number is) Now i know it could be that hes just not at the copmuter or something stupid like that. but i really dont think it is. Now i really want to find out whats goin on, im of course thinkin the worse, but thats just how i think. He really is a great guy and this just seems so unusual for him. I really want to be with him for new years, new years is an important thing for me. but there is notmuch i can do if i cant talk to him or hes ignoring me. im just so confused right now. soe opinios from guys would be great. and im sorry it was so long . (link)
Hi! It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. My bf moved to another province for a job in the oil rigs. I sometimes don't see him for months at a time, the longest I've gone without seeing or hearing from him was almost 4 months.

I know that you love your bf and he loves you. But I can also tell you from my own experience how difficult long distance relationships are. I havent been able to email him because his email isnt set up at the camp he works at. The only way I can contact him is on his cell, but because of his crazy work shedule it's very difficult to get a hold of him. I finally got a hold of him tonight to wish him a merry xmas, the poor guy was still at work and I just happened to catch him on his break! But anyways, the point I was trying to make is that long distance relationships REALLY suck, especially around the holidays.
I think the problem with your bf may just be communication? I mean maybe his computer crashed or something. Case in point, I was really mad at my bf for not emailing me in 2 months but then just by phoning him I found out his internet wasnt hooked up. I'm sure there is a logical explanation for him not getting a hold of you. It could be many number of reasons, maybe he had a family emergency. This time of year families can really be a pain in the butt, maybe his mom made him come over for dinner.
So my advice is try to relax and don't worry about your bf. If he really loves you it will work out.
good luck and merry xmas.
ps please rate me! thanks


How can you tell if a shy boy likes you? (link)
In my experience, if a guy really likes you and is shy, he'll usually act like he DOESNT like you. I've had guys that were attracted to me act aloof and distant because they didnt want me to find out that they really liked me.
A good way to find out though is to stand really near to the guy that you suspect has a crush on you. Watch his body language. Does he act nervous and go red in the face? Try striking up a conversation with him and watch if he avoids any eye contact.
Another dead giveavay is: have you ever caught him staring at you when he thought you werent looking? And did he immediately look away when you caught him?
I hope this has helped. Please rate me!! Thanks and good luck!


(sorry it's so long, but its worth reading.)

There's this guy that I have been madly in love with since like, July 2005. Every damn day I think about him more & more, and I want him more & more everytime I think about him. The thing is, is that he's too old for me, and I will never get him because...*tear* He's David Desrosiers. I know, you think I'm just in puppy love. I don't think so. I have NEVER felt this way EVER! I love him sooo much, I HATE HIM. I've been getting jealous easier, and I've been getting mad at my freinds for talking about guys to me. It makes me feel so bad. ***I am extremely self concious, and I guarentee that I don't have the nicest body. I've been gaining weight really fast, and I don't know if it is because I am in love with someone I'm not supossed to be. Am I depressed? I don't think so, but yeah. My friend came up to me and said to get the fuck over him, and that I looked pregnant in the outfit I was in. She isn't very supportive, and I really love this guy. I don't like his looks as much I I like his point of view, his personality, his usage of words, and little things like that. I appreciate anything I can get, and I appreciate him the most. BUT I CNA'T HAVE HIM :( I rate high! (link)
First of all I would like to tell you that you are not alone. I have been in love before with men that I couldnt have and it is the most painfull thing a person could go through. I couldnt have my man because he was married. I was totally in love with him.

I think that your "friend" is being a complete bitch. What a mean thing to say about you looking pregnant!! I would distance myself from her and find some real friends who have more understanding of what your'e going through.

Yes, I believe you are suffering from depression. But depression is curable, trust me I would know. I've been on several anti-depressants. Talk to your doctor about this. As for your weight gain, I would suggest joining a gym and starting on a diet. If you can't afford joining a gym, you can start walking (it's free). I always listen to music on my discman, which makes me want to walk longer and faster.

I know the pain if unbearable right now, but like everything else in life this too shall pass. Hang in there and believe in yourself. You will survive this, I promise.


my bf and I never have things to talk about. What can we talk about?
(link)
ask your boyfriend what kind of music he likes and then tell him what you like, you might find out you like the same kind. Also ask him about what kind of movies he would like to watch and then go to the video store with him.
Tell him a joke and get him to tell you one.
There are a million things the two of you could talk about.
Maybe he is shy, if thats the case do something romantic like make him a candlelit dinner, or go to the beach at sunset and walk hand in hand.
I had a boyfriend who was really shy, I found a great ice breaker was to play a game of cards or a board game.
Find out if he likes hockey and then start watching the games with him. Guys are SO impressed with girls who show an interest in sports. Learn the names of some of his favorite hockey , or basketball, or whatever sport it is he likes.
You'll get him talking in no time with the sports tactic, take it from someone whose been there!!
cheers
buzzie


I dont understand why guys dont like me. I am not really that ugly. i am smart. i am involved in a lot of after school activities. i also do a couple sports. i am nice to everyone. he acts like he likes me (some things he says). but then he doesnt act like he likes me. y doenst anyone like me? (link)
I can totally relate to your dilemma. I think that because you are so nice to everyone, that guys don't think of you as a challenge. Guys in Highschool are still really immature and tend to go for the girls that are known as bitches.
Also, because you are nice the guys probably feel more comfortable around you and think of you as more of a friend than a girl that they would want to date.
I never had any dates all through highschool. I was attractive but was the nice girl that everyone wanted to copy off her notes. The guys respected me so never thought of wanting to get in my pants.
But trust me, things will change once your out of highschool.
Oh, by the way, the guys do like you but because of peer pressure they usually only go for the easy gurls.
hope this helped




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