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Guys
Is it okay to be school-oriented...and be scared to have a boyfriend because you don't know whats going to happen in the end. Its like you are in a mix between "I don't know if its going to work out" and "I'm scared it might..." ..? Does anyone get what I'm saying?
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No it's not ok. ur just gonna live, then die so you can't let stuff like morals and religion get in the way of you living your life. and so what if it doesn't work out? you have your entire life to find the one. and ur probably very young. i'
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No. Your whole life should probably revolve around boys. Or what Jessica Simpson was wearing last Tuesday at that huge formal dinner party in Le Pierre's on 22nd Street. (that was sarcastic...)
Now the whole too chicken to risk having a boyfriend thing IS a problem. If you don't take a risk, you'll never get what you want. Think Stock Markets. You invest in a stock, and if it goes up, you make money, hooray! If it goes down, then too bad, you withdrawl, and get another stock.
If you find a guy you like, you should definently try to date him. Every life experience changes you, so don't get too involved in school work- you've got to take chances as they come... otherwise you'll look back, and regret it.
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oh girl soo many people feel that way!! it's perfectly fine you'll eventually start caring more about guys but there's no rush! in fact i'm kind of jealous i wish i cared more about my studies than my boyfriend! haha but i think you should definitely take a chance some time if you like a guy just to see what it's like and if it doesn't work out no biggie just focus on school until the next best thing comes around. good luck
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Being school-oriented is more than okay, it's the ideal. If you're school age, then one of your jobs is trying to succeed at school. This will have a knock on effect for the rest of your life - further education, work ethics, well rounded self, etc.
As for the second part of the question, it's okay to be scared to have a boyfriend. Most people probably are. There is a lot of uncertainty with dating, and ultimately you are putting your heart on the line.
If you meet a guy you're genuinely interested in, the longing to date him might overpower the fear. Being afraid of relationships not working OR working perfectly is healthy in some ways, as it means you'll be more realistic about relationships.
But if this means you feel unable to connect with other people in the longterm, it's becoming hurtful. Avoiding a relationship to protect yourself is a skill that won't do you any favours individually OR as part of a couple.
Best of luck.
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It sounds like two things are going on here. The first is that you're afraid of rejection; and the second is that you're afraid of committment. Either way, both signal to me that you are not ready, or mature enough yet to handle being in a romantic relationship.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling this way. I know people in their late twenties and early thirties who are still aftraid of committment.
I think highschool is a time to focus on your studies, and to get into a good college. You'll have tons of time after you get your highschool diploma to date guys. Don't rush into anything you're not ready for.
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