about

I am a very hard worker. I am studing to become a Psychologist . I am very good at giving advice. I specialize in relationships but i will answer just about anything. Do you need advice or help with a problem then i am here to help you. My column is for everyone young and old. It will be a place to express to me what you feel. If i have learned one thing, it is that you can deal better with a problem by telling someone about it and getting their imput. Never be embarrased you have nothin to loose with my column. I hope you all feel comfortable. I am here just to provide help and advice.

Tell me your problem!

advice

Ok so I was going out with this sweet,hot,nice boy named Dalton.Our longest time was one week but i told him I loved him and he told me he loved me.So this other chick named Rachelle liked him and they had dated before.She said something to him and we broke up. I cryed my slef to sleep for 2 weeks streght but now hes going out with her. I cant stop thinking about him and hes in my dreams.I cant tell him I still in love and my bff is bffs with him.He kinda flrits with me and pushes me over and wont look at me in hall way unless i laugh and im not looking at him.What i wanna know is if it is over and should i move on???

You should move on. He has another girl and if he really cares about you the way that it sounds like then he would have never broken up with you. If he comes back to you then make him realize the pain that he put you thru. You need to stop living in the past and find a new man that cares about you and only you. When the right man comes along that you would really cry over and miss; he won't leave you. Just remember that you do have friends to back you up and thats what they are there for. I hope that this helps make up your mind
Good Luck!!!
Advice For Teens

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okay.... i really like this kid... but he has no idea, and ii dont kno what to do... he just broke up with his girlfriend..((a couple of months ago)) and is finally free.lOl soo what should ii do?? ii really like him!!!ii also talk to him on AIM... but ii dont kno what to say to him..pleaze help me with that 2!


lOve...
troubled love life

Try talkin to him in the hallway. Be brave. Guys like to see confidense in a girl. Be happy be flirty, wear really hott clothes show off some curves. And of all things be yourself, guys dont like fakes. Really get to kno him and get comfy with him. maybe go to a group movie with all of your friends. see if he has any interest. if you think that he has some. ask him if he likes anyone. if he says yea pull out the yearbook and start naming them.. lol.. Good luck. hope you get that man.

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Ok, where to start? I'm a freshman in high-school, and I totally hate high-school. I mean, its not THAT bad, but I'd prefer middle school, anyday. Last year, (in 8th grade) I had it all. Great friends, boyfriends, pretty decent grades, and everybody liked me pretty much. I was Ms. Perfect, and I was supposedly SUPER-HOT, or so everybody said. Now, I feel like crap. I'm always trying to be someone I'm not. My best friend moved away, far and we barely ever keep it contact. My other best friend, well we don't even ever hang out because I ditched her for my current best friend, and so now she had better friends, and I'm just a nobody. And my new best friend, well we've only been friends for about a year, not entirely, but the fights we get into, its unbelievable. I haven't fought like I gought with her, with my other friends for two years. I mean, she's a good friend, but gets pissed easily, I mean we're two different people, I've talked to her about it before, but ehh. I don't know what to do. Now, guys. Yeah, people still like me, but not as much. There's lots more prettier girls! And life, my social life is horrible, my parents don't let me do shit. Guys, I've had two big crushes that both liked me but things got screwed up because I was too shy. I know how people say, that if you're popular and stuff in middle school, in high school you won't be, and vice-versa. I don't know what to do about ALL of this. Please help with everyhting, get my life back o track anfd better., Thanks os much!

Try to make the best out of it. People are naturally drawn towards energetic and happy people. Put on a happy face and smile. If you have been tryin to be someone that you dont want to be then girl be yourself. That is the only way that you are going to make it through high school. Yea, it is gonna be hard but if you dont be your self then you will get a rep that you dont want. No matter what your type surround yourself with all types of people. Try makin new friends. You are gonna have to be brave. If someone is talkin trash let it go. It doesnt matter. Make it look like you are havina great life. Take a lil more time to work on the grades then your parents may become a little less controling. If that happens you will have more freedom. Maybe try being friends with alot of guys instead of having one boo. Hope everything works out. Just try some things you may be suprised with the result. Good luck.

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I like a guy in my grade but there are few problems. First, all my friends hate him. And then he is about a foot shorter than me. And then of course, the popular girls of my grade are laways flirting with him, though I doubt any of them would actually date him. I sit next to him in one class, but I can't ever talk to him. It would be awkward for me to ask him out because I'm not sure if he likes me because he's always trying to impress his friends who don't like me, but when they aren't around he's nice to me. How should i approach him?

Try just talking to him. I started talking to this guy once and we really got to know eack other and we ended up going out for a long time. And now even though we are broken up we are still really good friends. The more you talk to him the more you will know about how good of a boyfriend he would be. Don't kid yourself either. Be truthful to yourself and listen to your heart. Also bring up things about his family... guys like it when girls are interested in their background and where their roots are. Heighth doesnt matter my friend is the eaxct same way he is shorter than his girlfriend and they have been goin out for almost a year now. Don't let the popular girls get in the way. You are probably right they won't date him. Keep the voice of one of your truest friends in the back of your mind you never know they may actually be right. If you think that they are wrong then ask them to support their opinion. You have to keep an open mind. I hope you get the man you want or at least gain a good friend. Just get some gut up and go for it. Like I always say... you will always mis 100% of the shots that you don't take. Good Luck.

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I love my bpyfriend but then there are these 2 other guys. This is the problem..

Ive been going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months and I love him a lot. Before I ever went out with him I always likes this other guy! Lets call him Mike. Well Mike and one of my best friends went out off and on for about 5 times. I never told anyone that I liked him and no one knew. Now Mike told me he liked me and he wants to go out with me! I dont know what to do because I like Mike also and I like my boyfriend. There is this new guy who came to school and I think I'm starting to like him to. I already feel jelous when someone flirts with him. We talked a couple of times tho and I like him. My boyfriend is very complicated at times! We have had some issues but we all worked it out! I dont know what to do!!! I like all 3 of these guys! I dont want to hurt my boyfriend because I love him and I also want to go out with Mike and I like this new guy! Please help! I`l rate good I promise! Thank you.

Well, I can tell that your boyfriend means alot to you. And I can respect that. Mike, have you ever seen him with other girls like not just flirting but like touchy feely? Ask your boyfriend where he sees the relationship going. Depending on what he says could answer your question. Or maybe you could ask him if he loves you. If he says yes ask him to explain what the word means when he says it. Ask him how he feels inside when those 8 letters ( 3 little words ) come out of his mouth. As far as the new guy I think that you should get to know him before you go making any decisions. Hope you have luck with your men.

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There is this girl in a couple of my classes that i like but im not sure if she likes me more than just a friend. I want to ask her out but im not sure how exactly. What should I do?

try to get her attention and if that doesnt work then you should just go for it and ask. Try first asking if she would ever consider it. If she says no then you should move on. If she says maybe then tell her to answer it with a yes or a no. If she says yes then go ahead and ask her out. I hope this helps you .
advice for teens

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ok, me and my ex broke up..and i want him back but he has a new gf now..and i dont think he wants me back..we went thro a lot..we are still good friends but i dont think he wants me back and ive tried to move on..i just cant...what should i do?

Start by asking your telling your self " okay we broke up we are over he has a new girlfriend and I need to move on" If you agree with what you just said then well yea you should probably move on. Maybe try getting a new man yourself. On the other hand if you answered no then you need to tell him or maybe try to talk to him about how him and his girlfriend are gettin along. If that sstill doesnt help then try writing down pros and cons to each situation
Advice For Teens

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17/f
Hey!
oookkk i need major advice lol cause my friends def. dont give me any. i really like this guy, but he does a lot of stuff i dont like. he smokes a lot, drinks to much (i like to drink but he drinks all the time) and hes just kinda known as a "bad boy". a lot of people tell me i could do a lot better. he gets into trouble a lot and starts fights with people, but im really comfortable with him and i like the way he makes me feel. i dont know what balances out more or if its worth going through stuff he does... and if i should keep being with him cause i really like him but i really dont wanna get stuck in his drama and the stuff he does. i dont want to lead him on either... so if i should get away from him i need to. hes a really nice guy and he has a lot of friends and i know he would never hurt me... but the things he does really bothers me... and i dont like to see him get hurt or get in fights. I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!!!
-kelly

Hey
I dont want to be the bearer of bad news but you should really let him go. Just from the way it sounds. If the things he does bothers you then maybe your body is trying to tell you something. Just think if one day he gets drunk and trys something whether it be rape or try killing you. When you are drunk you dont know what you are doing or what is going on around you. It is even hard, believe it or not, to control your actions. Think of it as if you are in a dream or nightmare and you start talking in your sleep but you dont know it or maybe you start to sleep walk this is how a drunk person reacts to everything. If he is really nice to you and you think that he loves you then try checking him into a alcholic adictions center. Or a support group. Maybe even sit down with him maybe with an adult listening from another room( for safety) and talk to him about it. Tell him exactly what you told me. Tell him that if he doesnt straighten up and pull his act together you will leave him. If you do go to this resort then follow through with it. You dont want him to think that you are weak. If he thinks that you are weak he knows that he can push you around. Again just make sure that you are safe and there is always an adult around just incase he lashes out or something. You should also make your parents aware of the things that are going on. Just promise me one thing be safe. Oh please be safe. I would rather have you get out of there and report him to the police then see your name under the obtuaries in the newspaper. If you feel you cannot get him under control then let the feds take care of it. Remember it is all for his own good. Always follow your heart and never let your gaurd down. You are a women stand tall and proud.
advice For Teens

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I really like this one guy, but the bad part about him is that he's a flirt. He is currently single, but he's constantly flirting with girls and he even has a little black book with dozens of girls' phone numbers in it. He's got a very perverted sense of humor and always asks me if I could do perverted things for him involving taking off my clothes. He's just kidding of course, but is this kind of guy worth my time?

Ask yourself if you could have a serious relationshiip with him. Only if thats what you want if you want someone to just goof around with more as a good friend then go for it. Hope i have helped.
Advice for teens

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I'm a 17 yr old female, and I and my boyfriend of a year and 3 months just ended our relationship about a week ago. It was mutual because we both were fighting a lot over petty things and not acting quite like bf and gf, but more like good friends. Part of this is my fault... I guess maybe a couple month or so ago I started to get this crush on another guy about my age, and I didnt know what to do. Things between me and my boyfriend had been slipping a little bit even then but I still care a lot about him.

Although he said it was mutual hes said he misses me and I think given the chance I think hed want to get back together. I still care about him a lot and I don't want to hurt his feelings. but I and my crush are both interested in each other and I dont know whether we should hook up or even hang out together bc I dont want to hurt my ex. I I realize its too soon now to do anything but how long should I wait and how can I stay friends with him if I decide I want to be with my crush? And would me doing this block out any chances of my ex and I getting back together in the distant future?

Well first say these words "He is my ex we are no longer together and I need to move on" now think about what you just said. Do you really mean what you said? Is that what you feel inside? if you answered no then you should get back together with your ex. If you said yes then move on and go for your crush. If you are still confused write pros and cons to each relationship. If the pros out weigh the cons with either relationship compared to the other then go for the best. Looks like you have alot to do so instead of making you read a very long advice paper. Go out and get a man. Hope my advice helped.
Advice For Teens

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There is this boy... lets call him Andy! I really like Andy... but how can I tell him again? I went out with him before because he liked me... but that was only for a day! He has a girlfriend that is like really nice to me and I dont want to break them up... And I dont want his girlfriend to get mad at me and not want to talk to me ever again! I know they love eachother because on their shirts his girlfriend wrote I love Andy and Andy wrote I love (his girlfriend) Just because i am afraid to talk to him does that mean i dont like him? Whenever i talk to him i talk all like flirty but i dont know if we have anything. I really dont want to break him and his girlfriend up but IIIIIII really like him.... I think.... :(....... AHH HELP!!!!

Well you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you are dropping hints maybe hes already got it you just dont know. And maybe he hasnt told you because he doesnt want his girlfriend to hear and misinterpret it. Maybe if you call him or pull him aside and ask if he still likes you. That might answer your question. If you dont want to break them up then act friendly and only friendly. Dont drop huge hints like touchy feely. That will really tick off his girlfriend. If you get along with her try starting a conversation with her about him. Become her confidont and then you will find out how she really feels about him and if she likes someone else. You said you think you like him if you are not sure dont put their life through hell and then realize you dont like him. The only thing left to say is follow your heart and then do what it tells you to do.
Hope this helps
advice for teens

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I have many best friends. As a sometimes tom-boyish girl, atleast half of them are guys. I'm 13, as of the 6th of May. Anyways, one of my friends, I've been friends with for about 3 years now. We had a relationship as "boyfriend and girlfriend" for one year, then kind of stepped out of it. Then, it started again. He lives very far away, though. Over 50miles away. Then, there's my 2nd best guy friend at school.. I've really started to like him as more than a friend (and have told him). But neither of the guy friends know of the other. I am pretty much void of anything but friend feelings for the first guy, but I'm afraid to tell him. I don't want to hurt him or anything, but its haunting me, thinking each night how he thinks I care so much for him (and, don't get me wrong, I do care for him alot, just.. we're just friends, nothing more). I'm afraid of becoming more than friends with the guy at school, because it could ruin our friendship if nothing good comes of it.. So I'm just confused. I don't have any idea of what to do.

You know one of my best friends is currently in a relationship like this. You know what i will tell you the same thing i told her. Go for it. Go out with this guy if you really want to if nothing comes of it then you know that you tried to make it work. Just when you start to drift apart tell him that you will always be a friend maybe nothing more but definatly nothing less. You should follow your heart if it says that this will work and is a good way to go then i would do it. Now on the other hand you have this friend that lives almost 50 miles away and it sounds like you guys are still pretty close. Well if I were you then I would tell him that you are starting to like someone else if he cant handle it then he is not a good friend. He should be happy that you are moving on a nd getting to know other people. Many of these situations come to me during the day because i am the one many people come to for advice. You are not alone alot of people have this problem and i tell them all the same thing... Go with what your heart tells you... Just remember it is always good to have new friends but never for get the old, one is like silver and the other is like gold. Just keep that in your mind and you will do fine. Hope my advice has helped and if you still cant do it ask around i am sure other people at your school have this problem. Speak up Speak out.
--Advice for teens

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Ok, so I am a girl, and I used to hang out with this guy I know. He was really nice, and we are interested in exactly the same things- computers and fantasy. He's a lot older than I am, and not many people his age like those things- they're mostly into makeup, boys, etc. Since he's so much older than I am, it never occured to me that we could be an item- but then one day, he made the love sign to me behind his back! I tried to ask him about it, but it was a total disaster and I probably embarassed him a lot. He denied it, but I think he does like me. What should I do?

You should talk to him over the phone and try to get to know him. Then really start to drop the hints and see where it goes from there.

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Hey I've liked a certain guy for a long time, and I really want to tell him how I feel. I'm too shy to tell him in person, so I thought I'd write a note. What should I write on it? I don't want to sound creepy, or not know what I'm talking about. Help!

You should just try talking about all the things that have happened to you. A letter is always more interesting if you can answer things as you go. So throw some questions in there and try to make them interesting not the boring ol' how is the weather. Really think about what their answers would mean to you. Hope you have agreat day.

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I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago and now I just found out that he's gay. Do you know if he could be lying to just make me jealous or grossed out? I don't know what his intentions are...

when a guy tries to make a gurl jealous they usually try to make themselves look good. Unless this guy is weird i would not use gayness to make myself look good. I think that he is tryin to gross you out. He is being a crazy guy. Don't worry he will grow up sometime
LOL

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I was in a relationship, and we were having difficulties, I called the police and charged him with assault. Now that i have to go to court he didnt commit assault, all i wanted to do was get my childern back. Can you give me some advice on what i should do

Well that is a though one. The best thing to do is try to convice the court that he was abusing you and then use the reason that you wnated your children back to backup your story. well i hope you are successful.

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I havae never had a boyfriend. Every time i ask someone out they say no. Does God want me to have one. I don't know how to flirt? What am I doing wrong?

Most the time you are never the reason. You just haven't found that special someone. You just have to start a friendship with a guy really start to know him and then maybe after a while go to a movie, skating, or bowling. Just as friends though you each could have 1 or 2 friends to keep the conversation fun, flowing, and lively. Then after a while you can work some magic and go out. I wish you luck in finding a guy.

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okay, my boyfriend heard me say to another person " No you cant tell anyone", and so now he wants to know, what should i do¿
signed,
confused about it

If he trusts you and believes that you would not have anyhting to hide then he should not be asking. But unfortunatly it is the human instinct to be curious. If you feel that by telling him he will be sad or maybe break up with you then it could be for the better. If you have to hide stuff from him to keep your relationship going then it is not a truthful relationship. Now if it something really stupid then you can keep it to yurself. That is your dicision. But just make sure whatever it is you think the response he will give you over first. Hope you can accomplish this task! Good Luck!

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Ok me and this guy have been talkin on msn messenger for about a mounth or two (don't worry i kno his little sis) And we have no clue what each other look like now he wants me to go and meet him @ the bowling alley His sis says that he's kool and all and that i should start to date him and i don't kno what to say or do! I mean we both seem to like each other. Should i go with him, or just keep talkin on messenger?


Love,
!!Plz Help!!

I say go for it....plan a meeting place and tell him to bring a friend and you bring a friend then in case the conversation becomes dull you have two other people there to livin it up. I am sure that you know his sister and all but taking a buddy will also be safer. You also have some one to share the fun with. I know after i went out with this guy I took a friend and we ended up talking about it all night long. And the best thing about it is we could relate to everything that happened because she was there. Another thing about taking a friend is that she can tell you if this guy makes any looks to his buddy or if he check you out. If you decide not to go out with him then you guys can be great pals and just hang out. I hope you have a great time in whatever path you choose. Good Luck!

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i like this girl and she likes me. things have been going ok even though we arent dating. i dont really want a girlfriend right now, but she asked me out. how do i tell her not yet without breaking her heart?

Well it is hard to tell someone no without breaking their heart... and that goes any gender. But if you really don't want to go out with her say that you would judt like to be friends until you get to know her better. If you still do not like her in a little while then just tell her that you want to be her friend. It will be really hard but just think about how it would feel if you asked someone out and she turned you down.... so just think abou tthe tone and words you use to say no. Do what you think is best, just don't laed her on that will hurt her worse than just saying no. Hope you are successful in what ever you decide.
have a nice day

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