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ex boyfriend vs new crush
I'm a 17 yr old female, and I and my boyfriend of a year and 3 months just ended our relationship about a week ago. It was mutual because we both were fighting a lot over petty things and not acting quite like bf and gf, but more like good friends. Part of this is my fault... I guess maybe a couple month or so ago I started to get this crush on another guy about my age, and I didnt know what to do. Things between me and my boyfriend had been slipping a little bit even then but I still care a lot about him.
Although he said it was mutual hes said he misses me and I think given the chance I think hed want to get back together. I still care about him a lot and I don't want to hurt his feelings. but I and my crush are both interested in each other and I dont know whether we should hook up or even hang out together bc I dont want to hurt my ex. I I realize its too soon now to do anything but how long should I wait and how can I stay friends with him if I decide I want to be with my crush? And would me doing this block out any chances of my ex and I getting back together in the distant future?
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Hmmm, seems like you want to have the cake and eat it, too. I know, I've been there. You wonder if it will hurt your chances in the future of getting back with your ex. I can't answer that. I don't know him or how he will respond. Don't you see, that by wondering that, you have already determined that your feelings for your "crush" aren't real enough to last? You have already seen yourself with him, for instant gratification, and you also see yourself moving on. But that way, you can get the best of both worlds. You get to experience the "crush" because you're no longer with the ex, but, you'll still be able to go back to your "ex" after it's all over. You say you don't want to hook up with your crush because it would hurt your ex. Don't you think the fact that youre already interested in someone else is hurtful to him? So, ask yourself, whats the REAL reason. If you answer that, and still feel that it's a REAL attraction for the "crush", then I'd say go for it. Remember, there was a reason you and your ex are no longer together, and those don't just go away because the relationship no longer exists. If you realize that your attraction to your crush is not what you thought it was. Mainly because of the feelings for your ex, then that should tell you something. It's not an easy place to be in, and I feel for what you must be going through. But, with honesty to yourself, I know it will be alot clearer than you thought it could be.
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Well first say these words "He is my ex we are no longer together and I need to move on" now think about what you just said. Do you really mean what you said? Is that what you feel inside? if you answered no then you should get back together with your ex. If you said yes then move on and go for your crush. If you are still confused write pros and cons to each relationship. If the pros out weigh the cons with either relationship compared to the other then go for the best. Looks like you have alot to do so instead of making you read a very long advice paper. Go out and get a man. Hope my advice helped.
Advice For Teens
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hon i have a sister who is 17 and going through the very same thing. I am 17 as well-(we are twins) and i can relate to. The best advice i can give is that after only a week you havent had a chance for things to settle down yet. Im sure you love or loved your b/f but it prolly just got to a comfortable stage and now thats what you are used to and dont want to give it up. If you have a crush, go for it. It might upset your ex but if it is love then it will come back to you i promise. If you realize thats not what you want and are still in love with the ex the best thing for you to do is tell him. It never hurts to talk about things-i promise. Good luck to you i hope it all works out.
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i would worry about hte staying friends thing. Think about it, if you can't date your crush now without worrying about what it would do to your friendship with your ex, how are you ever going date again. i'm sure he'll be crushed for a little while, but if he truely cares about you, he'd want you to be happy. And if you think you'll be happier with this other guy, then so be it. hang out with your crush, and I don't think it would damage your chances with your ex in the distant future. You never know.
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