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~A little Advice for the broken hearts~
You are afraid and hurt and you dont know what to do. You feel empty and alone, like the whole world has just ended. You have a hole in your heart one that feels like it can never be repaired, but just know that in time that hole will be gone. Getting your heart broken is like getting a deep cut. It hurts really bad, and no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it because you know its there and its hurting, but with a few stitches and a little tlc (friends and family helping you through) and some antibiotic ointment (ice cream) soon that cut will only be a scar (a memory) it will always be there but it wont hurt anymore, you are strong and you can make it through this!!
advice
25/f. I have been dating a guy for about 2 years and we have had a wonderful, beautiful relationship. Yesterday he asked me for a loan and it really really hurt me. I have never had a single friend in my whole life... up until him, the only people who were ever willing to spend time and get to know me were paid to do so. (Teachers, therapists, etc) I am quite well-off, my parents give me full financial support and folks I know have frequently asked me for money for this and that. It always makes me feel so worthless, like I'm an ATM machine or something. I really hoped that Eric would be different and it just makes me really really sad and disappointed. Should I just leave him now?
I don't really think this is a reason to leave him. Unless he has asked to borrow a ton of money. If yall have been together for 2 years and this is the first hes asked then why is that bad? It probably took a lot for him to ask you as well.. Fearing you may react as you are now. Sometimes people need a little help and its hard for them to ask for it. If he has a good reason behind it, then be happy he could come to you with anything.
So this guy and I met online. He's from Korea, he moved to Canada a few months ago. He's 17, I'm 16.
So we've been talking for about a month now. Whenever I had any problems or anything, he would always listen to me. He told me his problems and I would try and help in any way I could.
We would talk about our crushes in real life. He told me he's really tired of his crush for whatever reason. I told him that the guy I like is a complete douchebag.
^^ He comforted me by saying the guy that I like "lost the most perfect girl in the world".
He would always text me Merry Xmas and Happy New Year first and stuff like that. He likes my posts and stuff like that.
He has been calling me "pabo" lately, which means idiot or stupid in Korean.
I told him "Bye" once and he said "Whyyy? No, you can't leave" and I was like "Why, will you miss me?" (
The only way to be sure is to come out and ask him. Let him know how you are feeling and see if he has any feelings towards you. It sounds like you both have a great friendship and he may have intimate feelings toward you but might be afraid to mention them knowing that you have another person in your life that you are attracted to. Best thing you can do is mention that you arent sure how he feels let him know how you feel and then go from there. Be confident and it will all work out. But be careful. Online dating can sometimes be dangerous not everyone is who they say they are. Please never try to meet up with someone alone. Good luck and best wishes to you both
I live in NJ and I am under age of 18 and I had sex would I Be aloud to get a pregncey test?
you are able to buy a test under the age of 18 but if you are not pregnant I would suggest a form of birth control. I know its not what every teen wants to hear but trust me I was a young mom. Please check out www.teensource.org/birth-control you can get information on sex, birth control, and protection against STD's good luck and best wishes for the future
It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it.
Most likely they were not doing it for yours or anyone else's attention. When two people are in love they want to show affection to each other. Its reall a matter of if you dont like it dont look. Kissing, hand holding, cuddling ect. is not a form of "foreplay". That is a couples way of saying they love each other. Its not really a cry for attention or them saying "hey look at us"
No matter where you go you are going to find people who chose to show off their love in puplic. Someday when you are in a relationship you will show affection for your signifigant other as well and you will undestand. Good luck and best wishes to the future.
I have lied to my boyfriend his car handle fell off so I try to fix it with some super glue he came to my house that evening and asked me if I tried to fix his hand on his car with super glue and I stood in front of him face to face and I said no so he said well I'm going to call my son and see if he done it so you got a hold of his son and his son said no I didn't do it look at the cameras that you have at your house and it will tell who did it. So the next day when he left for work I text him that I did ithe forgive me for that stupid lie but he still broke up with me because I did it face to face if you truly love somebody you shouldn't have to lie to him you should tell them the truth what should I do I asked him for a second chance but he's not listening or even talking to me
Honesty is very important in a relationship. Telling such a silly lie so easily makes him wonder if you could lie about much bigger things just as well. He is probably feeling like you arent sorry you lied, and that youre only sorry you got caught in the lie. Once trust is broken its hard to build again. Try to talk to him and ask what it would take to prove you are truly sorry. If you love each other maybe you can work it out. If he is this angry over something like this chances are your relationship is just... well over. Its hard to accept but you not only lied to him but you also got his son in trouble by doing so. And parents are very protective of their kids. So you dont just owe him an apology but you need to apologize to his son as well. And next time something like this happens dont try to cover it up with super glue and lies. Go tell your boyfriend what happened and apologize right away. Good luck and I hope it all works out but if it doesnt, you can read advice about heart break in the about me section on my column.
This guy likes me and keeps talking to me and I want to make sure I'm not accidently flirting with him. Can you tell what not to do? Thanks
Any type of kind behaviour can be mistaken as flirtatious. Why not just talk to this guy and let him know how you feel. Tell him you just want to be friends. Avoid physical contact like holding hands, snuggling up together, laying your head on his shoulder... things like that can send mixed signals. Also try not to compliment too much. Like telling someone you like their outfit that day is fine but things like you have a gorgeous smile, i love your eyes, youre cute... that is flirting. Good luck
hey, so there's this girl. AMAZING and i am so in love with her, and she has known for a long time. we have had drama and stuff about us, it all just seems like one messed up fairy tale waiting to come to an end. a few months ago, she told me that she liked me but wasn't sure if she would date me yet. i was fine with that answer and was determined to get her to love me the same, until the day she told me she chose another guy over me. that's when the drama started, but we've moved past that and she is still my great friend. Now she's thinking about breaking up with the other guy, but I'm not sure if it's for me. She said maybe one day soon her love for me will grow stronger, so I want to win her back. I even got into a fight with her bf tonight haha. anyways, i just need help on how to do it? i would prefer a girls advice please because i need a girls opinion on what they would do in this situation thanks and sorry that it's so long.
You sound like you are quite smitten with this girl. Maybe you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Let her know that you are in love with her and you would do anything for her. Even if it means waiting for her to love you back. Be confident but not cocky. Tell her what you love about her, why you fell for her in the first place. Ask her to give you a chance to prove to her that you are who she is meant to be with. If she doesnt feel the same way than maybe you should move on and find someone else who will love you as much as you love her. You deserve happiness and I pray you find it. If it doenst work out though go check out my column there is some nice advice on how to deal with heartbreak...
But i hope you end up together.
A little hint.. girls love flowers!
Good luck
My husband and I's one year anniversary is coming up in a few months, and so is a very close friend's wedding, her wedding date: our one year anniversary. I'm at a loss of what to do. My husband wouldn't be able to come with me to her wedding, and my friend would be extremely hurt if I didn't go. What makes the situation awkward is I knew when picking my wedding date that my friend would be getting married that same day. I had no choice however (my husband is military). I reassured and promised her since she got engaged that I would be there at her wedding. In fact, as soon as I got the wedding invite, I texted her and let her know I would be there and how excited I was. My husband always knew I'd be going, but I guess it just clicked for him I'd be missing or first anniversary. He's very upset, anniversaries are very important to him. I tried reasoning with him that we could celebrate another day, but he's not having it. What do I do? I will always pick my husband over anything, but shouldn't he be more understanding? Should I be present for the most important day of my close friend's life and hurt my husband? Or be there with my husband for our one year anniversary and risk losing my friend? (And I have very few true good friends)
Well it sounds like you have to decide what is more important to you... Your friendship or your marriage. If it were me I would chose my husband. If she really is a true friend like you say she is, she will understand that your marriage must come first. Sure it seems unfair to you that your husband is making you chose but your marriage is forever do you really want to regret not spending the day with your husband on your first anniversary? He is right anniversaries are important. And you only get one first anniverdsary. Your very first cellebration of your marriage!
If you really feel like you have to be there for your friend, why not comprimise. Ask your husband to let you go to the ceremony and then let your friend know that the rest of the day (reception and whatever) you need to spend with your husband.
Hope it all works out for you! Good luck and vest wishes and congratulations to you and your friend on your marriages!
My husband and I's one year anniversary is coming up in a few months, and so is a very close friend's wedding, her wedding date: our one year anniversary. I'm at a loss of what to do. My husband wouldn't be able to come with me to her wedding, and my friend would be extremely hurt if I didn't go. What makes the situation awkward is I knew when picking my wedding date that my friend would be getting married that same day. I had no choice however (my husband is military). I reassured and promised her since she got engaged that I would be there at her wedding. In fact, as soon as I got the wedding invite, I texted her and let her know I would be there and how excited I was. My husband always knew I'd be going, but I guess it just clicked for him I'd be missing or first anniversary. He's very upset, anniversaries are very important to him. I tried reasoning with him that we could celebrate another day, but he's not having it. What do I do? I will always pick my husband over anything, but shouldn't he be more understanding? Should I be present for the most important day of my close friend's life and hurt my husband? Or be there with my husband for our one year anniversary and risk losing my friend? (And I have very few true good friends)
Well it sounds like you have to decide what is more important to you... Your friendship or your marriage. If it were me I would chose my husband. If she really is a true friend like you say she is, she will understand that your marriage must come first. Sure it seems unfair to you that your husband is making you chose but your marriage is forever do you really want to regret not spending the day with your husband on your first anniversary? He is right anniversaries are important. And you only get one first anniverdsary. Your very first cellebration of your marriage!
If you really feel like you have to be there for your friend, why not comprimise. Ask your husband to let you go to the ceremony and then let your friend know that the rest of the day (reception and whatever) you need to spend with your husband.
Hope it all works out for you! Good luck and vest wishes and congratulations to you and your friend on your marriages!
So i'm a 14 year old girl.There's this boy in my school.. he's 15.So one year ago i liked him a lot but i wasn't very pretty and i was shy and unpopular and i had no likes on facebook and yeah..He didn't like me and he even told me that.He started dating one girl that was very pretty and popular.I was really sad for a while..Now its been like one and a half year and i'm prettier than i was before..i have facebook and i get more likes and when he saw that he started texting me but the sad thing was that i started first.So we like text now but i don't know what to do cause it looks like he only cares about my looks and popularity....What should i do?Oh btw i've cried like every night for him and i really really really like him and i don't wanna stop texting him i just don't know what to do please help...
If you believe thats all he likes you for than maybe you are right. You dont want to be with someone who just likes you for your looks. But You also have to remember that in the beginning of all relationships its mostly about physical attraction. You dont fall in love with someones personality at frist sight. So to be sure you should go on a few dates and spend more time together... Nothing physical, just dates and hanging out. Let him get the chance to like you for who you are on the inside and it will give you a chance to get to know him on the inside as well. Good luck and if you need anything else feel free to come back.
Basically I like this girl and she's a lesbian, I'm also not straight (female 15). She started dating this other girl in our grade and on the day I was going to ask her out she told me all this and how much she liked the other girl. I cried all day after school. They have been dating for 2 weeks and I'm dying. I don't sleep. I want her to be happy but at the same time I am so unhappy. I don't make things awkward by saying I like her, because I know she likes me too (she flirted heaps). The other girl she is dating I used to be friends with a year or so ago, I was so jealous and mad at her at first, but I am not really anymore, I tried talking to her to try be friends again. My question is, what should I do? I know I sound like a stupid 15 year old and "I'll grow out if it" and maybe I will, but I would like advice now because telling me I will grow up isn't going to keep me going. Please help
Tell her how you feel but also let her know that you respect that she is in a relationship. Of course its hard. You really have strong feelings for this girl. But she may also feel the same about you and might not think you had any for her so she moved on. If she does not want to be with you then you just have to move on. It will be hard to do but there will be other girls. Check out my cloumn it has advice for a broken heart and I think it will help you. If you need any help feel free to send me a message. I will do my best to help you through your times of need. Good luck dear.
i am 17 years old n im dating this guy from the past 8 months. i have had sex with him many times ,it was alright and going well before 1 month but from the past 1 month he keeps ignoring me n when i ask him why he gives pointless reasons he says that hes busy because of college work ,we don't speak for days sometimes .is it because he has lost interest in me or something i love him a lot and don't want to loose him please give some advice what should i do to get him back the same way he was before.
Sometimes people change. Its all a part of growing up. Tell him you need to talk to him and let him know exactly how you feel about the way he is treating you. Also if he isnt earning the sex by treating you like a princess then just dont give it up. If he is not willing to change his attitude then its time for you to move on. And if it comes to that then it just wasnt meant to be and you will find someone who will love you and treat you like a queen. Check out my column there is a nice piece of advice for a broken heart if you need it. Good luck and best wishes.
Hi guys so I'm 18 years old and in a few days my bf will be 21. We've been dating for 2 and a half years but our first year was a little rough. But I would like to go out to a club and dance with my friends along with my older brother. My boyfriend is totally against it. He says only single girls have business being at a club. But when he turns 21 he plans on going out without me. I understand his point of not wanting me to get grabbed and such on the dance floor buy I know I can handle it. And if for some reason I couldn't my brother and girlfriends will be there. Im sick of doing the same thing of nothing, every night with my boyfriend and sometimes we need our space. Could someone please tell me I'm completely wrong for wanting to go out and dance? My boyfriend doesn't even dance! He's not much fun when it comes to these kinds of things. Please someone give me advice if I'm wrong or not for wanting a girls night out plus my brother. Thank you!
You are 18. You want to go out and have fun and that is perfectly normal and ok to do. Sit down with your boyfriend and let him know that you need some sort of independance. Let him know there is no reason to worry and that you will be faithful. Invite him along the first time so he can see how you are at the club. Maybe you both will have fun. It is important that you do stand up for yourself and not let him control you though. That will lead you to unhappiness in the future. He needs to be more mature and accept that you are your own person and it doesnt always have to be the two of you. And you also need to understand where he is coming from as well. He cares for you and doesnt want to lose you. The thought that you might find someone else may be on his mind. Reassure him that you are his and no one will take you from him. I hope you have fun good luck with the boyfriend :)
so, this is mainly for AliO22 so if anybody here can contact him/her, that would be great :). So... I already tried some stuff you suggested, she crummples up my notes, she got switched out of my classes that i had with her, and shes been pisssed now for about 4 months. Any other suggestions? Oh btw. Is anerexsia really that bad that she needs medical attention?? :( this is that oregon kid with the lady problems
Not sure why, but I got a link to this in my inbox. I am not sure about all the details on this issue or if there is still a problem since it was posted a while ago. But the one thing I do see here that I can answer is about annorexia. If this person you are talking about is still struggling with this you need to go to the persons parents or an adult that can help her get the help she needs. This is very dangerous and unhealthy.
i liked this girl i started dating who i thought was an innocent girl. in fact i didn't even try to kiss her until the third date because of how innocent i thought she was. well the thing is after i kissed her and don't ask me why we started talking about sexual experiences ( i thought she had practically none so what did i have to fear). well i found out she is what is known as a virgin slut or virgin whore, a girl who is still a virgin but has kissed around 40 guys and had blown off 4 guys just because she was horny and returning the favor after they had sucked her off.
i feel a little disgusted with the horny attitude with random guys in the past and don't know what i should think.
anyway, she is leaving the country for a year so we broke up but still talk as friends. we only kissed so i didn't even get blown off myself but she is going to do some religion studies outside the country, meaning no more sex life for at least that year (no kissing, no nothing). the thing is she went to Aruba as her last opportunity to party and i hate the feeling i get when i think about the certainty of she kissing at least a couple of guys a night (which really doesn't bother me that much)and the possibility of she sucking a guy off just because she is horny (that one does bother me).
i know this inst exactly a question but i need counsel from someone.
thanks in advance.
Ok first lets just throw this out there... she is not a slut. Everyone has some sort of sexual history. And lets focus on the big word here HISTORY. It happened in the past there is nothing that can change that. Im sure you have a sexual history as well. If you care about this girl, then you focus on the present time and future, not the past. If you ever expect to have any kind of future with anyone, you cant judge them by their past. If you cant accept her for who she is because of what she has done than you need to move on. And if this is the way you are going to handle relationships then Im sorry but you might as well get use to being single hun because as I said before EVERYONE has some sort of sexual history. Now to properly help you here I would need to have more information on the situation. Age would definatelty help. Because if this girl is like 15 chances are... you are not going to be together forever. Now I myself am married to a man I began dating at 15 but if we are talking statistics.. most likely you and her wont end up spending your lives together. Not if this girl is older and can maturely handle a committed relationship my advice would be to sit down and have a talk with her. Let her know how you feel about relations while she is gone and let her be honest with you as well. Listen to how she feels and express what is going on inside your head. Hopefully that will help. If you need any more help or would like to discuss this furthur dont hesitate to write back. Or if you and your girlfriend would feel better talking with help from me let me know and we will find a way for the three of us to talk and try to work out any issues you may have. I hope everything works out well good luck.
So my bf & I met when we were both 18 & got together a couple months later. I had cheated on my previous bf with him, but I felt so bad about that I told the very next day (we just kissed,& it turns out to be my current bf's first kiss), & when I told him he asked why. After my first boyfriend & I broke up after 3 months on & off. Less than a month after we'd been broken up, I started dating the guy I cheated with-who turns out to be my steady bf since late 2010. I took his virginity in January 2011, & all was well for a while. Then he started lying over stupid things (where he was, that he had to go home, who he was with-said he was with his friend Kyle, but he was with a girl he "used" to like,& talk shit on me)..or "forgetting" to tell me things, & making the same promises over and over. It doesn't help that he never seems sincere & using uses a sarcastic or mocking tone, & usually extremely critical of me. I do love him so much,& he's my first,& we have had a lot of good times, but I don't know what to do anymore. Help please??
You definitely need to talk to him. Let him know that his behavior is unacceptable. For a relationship to work you need to be able to trust each other and if he is lying and sneaking out with other girls how can you trust him? If he wants to be in a relationship with you he needs to be honest with you. Also if he is telling you he is hanging out with one of the guys and really he is with some other girl chances are he is doing something he shouldn't be doing. yes I mean most likely cheating. I mean why lie if you're innocent right? Another thing he is being critical of you and that makes you feel terrible. That is verbal abuse and you should NEVER stand for that.
Ask yourself these questions:
Am I truly happy?
Can I trust him?
Do I really want to spend my life with someone who makes me feel this way?
If your answers are no...maybe you should consider leaving.... You're young and there is no rush to settle down.find someone who will treat you like a princess and nothing less. You deserve to be happy and if happiness is something he is not providing then you are in fact wasting your time.
But if you are happy and you truly want to make it work he has to put effort in as well. It won't get better if just one person is trying. Sit down with him tell him exactly how you feel and let him know changes need to be made. And if he does happen to make changes and treat you better hopefully you will be able to trust him again. Good luck and I wish you all the best.v
Hello there,
I have been on the pill for 8months. I remembered to take my pill around 9ish and then my boyfriend and I decided to go bare back. I have taken the pill in the morning or at the normal 7pm time or in this case when I remember to take it. Will there any chance I would become pregnant. I have a pregnancy test just in case I need to set my mind further at ease
With any kind of birth control there is a risk of becoming pregnant. an extremely small risk but still a risk nonetheless. if you have been taking your pill chances are you're not. but to be safe for the next couple weeks avoid things that could harm a baby should you be and then take the test if you miss your period. when I took the pill the doctor recommended condoms as well just for extra protection maybe that would work for you. good luck I wish you all the best. :)
My ex and I were together and engaged for two years. It's been 8 months since he left for being unhappy, and almost 4 months since I've had any kind if contact with him, verbally & physicallly. I recently, maybe a month ago, blocked him from Facebook and anyone who contacts him because seeing his name is not helping me move on. I will admit, I am fine without him although I do wish we could be back together, but I've accepted reality and understand that will never happen.i think about him almost everyday but for some reason I keep having dreams about him. First it was him comin back saying he made a mistake. 4 times. Then it was us being back together and me crying because he was yelling at me. Then last night he told me he wanted back with his ex he was with before me (which they are in real life hanging out, idk if its friends or what) and I was crying and told him I hated him and he ruined my life and I wish I never got with him. Every dream I have of him I wake up in an icky mood or I'm crying. What can I do? I never wanna see him again, period.
You're still in love with him and its hard for you to move on. You two were serious. You were engaged. Thats got to be hard to move on from. Trust me I have had my share of heartbreak. My husband and I have recently separated and we were together since I was 15. Inside I'm falling apart. But I try to follow the advice I give to everyone that ask me how to get over a breakup and I know in time I will be ok. So here it is, the famous advice... Copied from my page...
~A little Advice for the broken hearts~
You are afraid and hurt and you dont know what to do. You feel empty and alone, like the whole world has just ended. You have a hole in your heart one that feels like it can never be repaired, but just know that in time that hole will be gone. Getting your heart broken is like getting a deep cut. It hurts really bad, and no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it because you know its there and its hurting, but with a few stitches and a little tlc (friends and family helping you through) and some antibiotic ointment (ice cream) soon that cut will only be a scar (a memory) it will always be there but it wont hurt anymore, you are strong and you can make it through this!!
~Stephie~
I hope this helps you and I will be here for you if you need me.
ive liked this guy for 5 years and my dad says hes going to merry someone else and god told me merry him no names i dont know who but im guessing its him please help
You may have liked this guy for a long time but if he is getting married that means that the two of you were not meant to be. Try finding someone else that interest you. God may have given you a message but that doesnt mean it was about this guy. God has a plan for everyone and in time everything will work out the way it was meant to work out for you. God loves you and would not send you a message of false hope. Maybe you just interpreted this message wrong. Give it some time and I am sure you will find someone else.. The person you are meant to be with is out there somewhere, you just have to give it time, and remember to keep your eyes open. The one you are meant to be with could have been right in front of you the whole time. Stay positive! This guy may not have been the one for you but you will find that person someday. good luck and best wishes
my boyfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago. The first week, I was in devastation. Being only 14, it was difficult for me to handle all of it, as I loved him alot. But then one day, I overheard his conversation with one of my friends ( she allowed me to be on confrence while I heard him talk about some other girl and totally random stuff.) When asked about me, he would answer with impatience in his voice. From that day on, till today I haven't picked up the phone to call him once. He told my bestfriend that "I couldn't sleep for a week, whatever anyone says I will always have a soft corner for you and that I am not myself." What is wrong with this guy? Why does each and every move of his hurt me so much? I am angry at him, really angry. I don't think he ever did love me for the four months that we dated, and usually I spend my time being happy. But there are still moments where I miss him. Why do I miss him if he doesn't miss me? What are his reasons for behaving like this? I know I haven't moved on but how long will it take for me to look at his face and not feel anything?
Ending a relationship can be hard. I know, I've had many break-ups in my life. It will take time to get over it but you definately will move on. Let me paste a little advice that I have posted on my page.. its advice I give everyone who is expiriencing heartache...
~A little Advice for the broken hearts~
You are afraid and hurt and you dont know what to do. You feel empty and alone, like the whole world has just ended. You have a hole in your heart one that feels like it can never be repaired, but just know that in time that hole will be gone. Getting your heart broken is like getting a deep cut. It hurts really bad, and no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it because you know its there and its hurting, but with a few stitches and a little tlc (friends and family helping you through) and some antibiotic ointment (ice cream) soon that cut will only be a scar (a memory) it will always be there but it wont hurt anymore, you are strong and you can make it through this!!
You see it hurts now and you are angry but thats ok, its all normal, this is your way of coping with your loss of something you once cared for a great deal, and it is also your way of moving on. It may not seem like it now but you are already in the process of moving on... just give it a little while longer and soon it will be nothing but a memory and you will find someone new who makes you feel happy again. Good luck with everything! Best wishes.
Stephie