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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~ShElBy'S aDvIcE cOlUmN~
Hey..My names Shelby im a Junior in highschool. I love my boyfriend ~*~AnDrEw~*~ I'm a cheerleader.My friends are the shit..((you know who you are)). And yea I'm pretty much the fucking shit =P jk..so yea if you need advice dont be afraid to ask.
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advice
I will try to sum this up as best I can. I have been single over a year now after having been with my ex, John for 6 years. I am 21, so as you can see, he was my only REAL relationship. It wasn't a very healthy one, & I have now been seeing someone new for about 2 weeks. Already I can see the damage from my past relationship affecting the way I interact w/ Wes (the new guy). The first example was when we were hanging out & he was being kind of sarcastic with me and then suddenly asked me for a backrub. The current circumstances & the way he said it made me have an actual flashback of my ex, who would constantly ask me for backrubs even after being a jerk to me, & then guilt trip me when I refused him. I blurted out, "you sound just like my ex". I immediately felt horrible & later apologized for my harsh words. Now I have come to realize that b/c of John I am afraid of intimacy. Wes & I sleep together, but I refuse to make the first move, or to throw myself at him for fear of rejection & being humiliated. John wasn't very interested in sleeping with me, and would push me away, telling me to get off him when I would try to initiate intercourse. Usually when we did get intimate, it was to shut me up. So, Wes has, in so many words, confessed that he would like me to show some initiative in the bedroom on occasion, & I do want to, but I constantly find myself sitting there thinking out exactly what I'm going to say & do, & then I clam up... and then I refuse. I don't know what to do. Because of my prior mistake, Wes does not want me mentioning my ex around him (understandably) but I am not sure how to tell him what I am feeling & going through without explaining what my ex put me through. What can I do to make sure I put in my half of the effort to make this new relationship go smoothly?
hey,
i know exactly what you are going through even though im 16 ive also been through this. My ex was a shitty person to be honest. He made me feel stupid all the time and he said things that made me constantly think he wanted to end it with me..and when he did end it awhile later he just straight out moved to a whole different state and never talked to me again ever. 2 weeks later i was so depressed i just wanted to meet a new guy to get my ex off my mind..unfortunatly im not to good at just "meeting guys" without having further intentions so i met this guy when we first started dating i kinda acted how you are now. i acted like my ex boyfriend. I acted like i didn't care about me and him so i wouldnt get hurt. Kinda like how you dont come on to him because you dont want to be rejected. But as time went on i actually really started liking this guy then i fell in love with him..and i started to break down my walls and everything was good for a little bit. Now we've been dating for about 2 years and im starting to worry hes gonna break up with me. Why? i have no idea We're perfect. I take the littlest things and make them into oh he doesn't care anymore. And i know its because of my ex because i never use to get like this. When this first started happening i would get bugged all the time n asked him do you think we're gonna break up n stuff..by doing that it just made the situation worse because he felt pressured and w/e. Now i just dont ask him anything and everytime i feel like that i dont bring it up at all. I just ignore it. Everytime i get mad or anything because i know it pisses him off and i know im like that because of my ex and ever since ive done that things have gotten easier for US not for me though..i still feel the same but i think as time goes by it will be done and maybe i wont feel like that. Anyways thats what i think you should do is act how you would normally act even if it bugs you because its not gonna bug him unless if your bothered by it. Dont let him see that because its going to make him feel bad. I mean i ended up with sucha heart ache and now im with this guy and its so amazing and it takes a long time to get over a guy you really cared about especially when they treat you like that because its like your never good enough. Dont let the guy with you now feel the same way. Be you forget the other guy and have some fun and a good relationship. I hope i helped hun
just wondering, whats a monroe? this girl said she got one and she has this thing above her lip..but was is it?
Marilyn Monroe use to have this mole above her lip and so people get piercings above the lip on the right side to resemble Marilyn Monroes mole.
I just thought I'd get some different opinions from different people... The question is...
What is the meaning of Love? [define love]
Thank you
I feel that love is an obsession. You are obsessed with that person and that person is obsessed with you. I know obsession is a strong word..but think about it love is when you think of that person all the time, you dont think of just yourself anymore you think of their needs too, love is when you can spend (not meaning you do) every day together and not get sick of each other, love is fighting over the little things and becoming more in love after the fight..love is being together for so long and still loving that person the same if not even more then when you started dating, love is when you cant stop thinking how amazing it is and you never want it to end..being in love is not being in love with the way they make you feel..but being in love with the person themself. Love is a challenge..people in love can overcome any obsticle...I can go on forever..but i gave you brief meaning of the word love. Hope i helped hun.
okay, so my girlfriend and i have known each other for only over a year, and we dated for 5 months, then broke up (terrible for both of us) and she cut herself, now we are back together for 3 months and she still does it every so often... is there anything i can do to help her, becuase i know that she wants to stop, and every time she does it, she feels so terrible about it, it nearly makes her sick, and all of this is absolutly killing me, what can i do to help her?? please i only want good answers...
I think you need to tell someone..before she does it to bad shes gone.. you know? Or give her a chance and be like ..the next time you do it im going to have to tell someone because this scares me and i dont want you to hurt yourself so bad that you could die. Maybe have her ask her mom if she can go to someone to talk about her problems..I hope i helped you hun..good luck
Hi, I'm Emily f/13 I am from Washington So heres my question to u, There is this guy in my math class he is so cute and nice so I had my friend Brittney ask him if he liked me and she said well I talked to him last night on the phone and he said he thinks your cute but he doesn't know if he gets to know then maybe he would like you. And I was the like no way and she said yep. So I was sooooo excited and told my best friend Shannon and she said Oh my gosh I am soo hooking you 2 up and I'm like Shannon no I don't know for sure yet if thats true. Well she talked to him anyways which made me sooo mad and this is what she asked him, So I heard you think Emily is cute and if you get to know her better you would go out with her and thats not what I told her at all! This is what he said, ya did you hear that from Brittney and she said yes. Then He said well ya I just told that to Brittney to be nice and I really don't think she's that cute and I probably wouldn't go out with her. Then I got really mad and thought Brittney lied to me and she said I didn't lie to you I swear. Then she called him the next night and they got in a fight beacause Brittney said why the heck did u tell Shannon that that Emily was ugly! He said he didn't say that and that I was now kinda cute but he just doesn't know me. I DON'T KNOW WHO DO BELIEVE OR WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP ME !
from, Em_advice_chick_77
I think Brittneys telling you the truth. that really wasn't cool of shannon to go off and tell him the sutff you told her in confidence. Maybe Shannon was telling the truth but he told her that because he doesn't know her enough to tell you how he feels. To be honest..i would just drop it and start worrying about this hottie in your math class =P I think you should call him and be like yea so how gay is this that everyones going around and telling me all this stuff thats not true and start talking to him and then you know maybe something will happen. I hope i helped you hun. Remember the little fights you get into now wont matter 5 years from now so i hope i helped you out! good luck
i'm 14 years oldand i'm a freshmen and i had never had a kiss before...is this embarrasing???
no. I have a friend who hasn't and its fine. I think its kinda good thing. At least your not going around being a whore. Hope I helped
my boyfriend is two years younger than me. is it bad? i mean he acts alot older and we really do like eachother..
It really shouldn't matter if hes mature enough. What should matter is how you feel about each other. Remember..age is just a number. I hope i helped you out hun!
hey,thanks for opening this,i hope you girls can answer my question.
WHat is the most creative/romantic/unforgettable way to tell a girl you love her?
I mean i can go with the traditional telling her "i love you",but i want something different.
here are some of my suggestions
1)ask her is she believes in love at first sight,if she says yes then i will say i didin't believe it at first until i met you.
2)the sky is full of stars,the sea is full water,but my heart is full of you.
3)third question:do you girls think that sending a letter,speaking face to face,sending a message,sending an email,or just telling her through her friends will give the best impression? I mean,I think that messaging her is kind of sissy,and that sending her an eamil is also a pussy way of telling her,so would girls flip for a guy that sends her a letter or just tells her face to face about his feelings?or would you rather a guy tell you through the phone?
thanks a lot for reading,please answer my questions if the first two choices are good and what way you girls would prefer from the third question,and if you guys have any other creative suggestions please fell free to send it,i will rate good ones.
Don't make it be a pick up line..make it be sweet. i think if you surprised her and took her somewhere without heer knowing and tell her would be cute..out to dinner. telling her face to face is the best way because its coming from you to her. dont make it a cheesy pick up line because you didn't do anything creative and it makes it sound like you just wanna get in her pants..i hope i helped good luck hun!
ohkay so i kinda like this guy. [= but like i'm really confused whether he likes me or not /=. well before he was sayin that he really wanted me to give him a hug. but sometimes he acts like a total loser. like randomly he'll b like why r you so obsessed with me? and he's always like alex! you stalker! and then just today i go you never tell me anything! you always make me so confused! then he goes wtf. we're not going out. so then i was like huh? but like he's always waving to me. and saying "its alex" in the halls. so do you think that he likes me or not?
lol "bois..." yea he likes you. he just doesn't want you to think so..thats why hes all trying to hide it by making it seem like you like him. orrrr hes trying to see if you like him. but yea i def. think hes diggin ya. hope i helped hun!
I'm 13 and I want a boy to fall in love me with me and me to fall in love with him!! Like I read books about girls and boys falling in love and it makes me want love SOOOOOOO BADLY!! Like the book lovely bones with Lindsey and Samuel how they are so in love. I want a boy to fall in love with me and us to be perfect together. Not the kind of boy who pinches your ass when you just met and forgets to call you. I want a mature guy who waits to have sex and stuff like that. WILL THIS EVER HAPPEN? I'M GOING TO JUST BE DEVASTATED IF It DOESNT!!
lol remember ..with almost every form of love comes heartache so just keep that in mind. and yea duh of course it will happen. i mean..girls are more mature when there 13 guys are usually still kinda...yea no more needs to be said ((im jk..)) but when you get in highschool you'll meet plenty of guys who are somewhat "mature" =P and you'll def. find mr. right..but mr.right takes time to meet you know? Hope i helped ya!
I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 6 months now and i thought i was happy. but things are starting to get hard for us and we can hardly see eachother. he dropped out of school so im there without him. this year i meet this guy who likes me. Me and him are close friends now and i think im starting to have feelings for him. I dont want to hurt my Boyfriend in any way but i know this isnt fare to him for me to be feeling something for someone else. I still love my boyfriend very much! Do i just like this other guy for the Convenience of him being right there?
I wanna congrat. you cuz 1 year and 6 months is a long time. and you know i think your just getting kinda bored. Think about it liket his..look back on everything you and him have had and have..and then look at the guy you kinda like now and think about what you could have with him..see which one is worth being with. I think your just bored and the new attention is flattering you. and trust me i know how you feel..and ive only been in a relationship for 8 months. but you know what i dont think any guy is worth me dumping my boyfriend for. but thats me and thats a totally different story. i think you need to think about who you can see yourself with and what the outcome would be if you broke up with him for this guy. I hope i helped you good luck hun!
Lately I've been really depressed over a guy. He is my best friend and I like him so much. We're both 16, I've known him for 2 years, but just now I've started to like him. Here's the thing, I get jealous so so so easily. So whenever I'm on AIm & he is too I get so upset if he doesn't IM me within ten minutes or something. It just makes me feel like he's ignoring me, and talking to some other girl or something. I do IM him, so please don't suggest that I do that. I'm just wondering how to not feel so ignored when he doesn't talk to me right away and stuff? It makes me feel like we're drifint apart :/, but the next day at school we're fine. Any suggestions?
Ok wow is it just me or was that 110 percent bitchy what that girl BitsandPieces below me wrote..ok hun i know how you feel it sucks...you feel weird cuz your not his girlfriend..but thats what makes it worse..like when your his gf you know hes not doing anything..but since hes not and youve grown feelings you dont know what hes doing. I think you need to tell h im you like him...or at least give him obvious hints. So he knows why your acting the way you are. You not insecure your just confused and thats normal. I hope i helped. if you need any more advice just ask.
I am typically stereotyped as a "good girl."..I don't smoke/drink or do anything "bad" But the strange thing is, I tend to fall for guys that are BAD...and ok i would NEVER smoke in the first place..but why is it ok if a guy i like smokes? Iddk i just thought it was soo weird for me to like the complete opposite..does anyone know why?
I totally know why..i was in your position..see your the one who doesn't do nething bad..but lets face it..its boring never doing nething right? then you meet a guy whos like the life of the party and its fun hearing his stories and how he deals with life. Have you ever heard the sayin opposites attract? totally true..just remember "bad boys"=Bad..some bad boys are cute..but i got hurt real bad from one..so just be careful. Its not strange its normal. I hope i helped!
f/15
okay i have this friend were not too close but we are close and well here we go.
her boyfriend he has a crush on me i can tell bad and she can but she's let it go.
At first i told my self no because he's taken but now i'm starting to like him.
I just don't know what to do and i really need advice so please help!
thanks
Have you ever heard the saying...."chicks before dicks" its sooooo true. especailly during school. I mean a boy can last a day..but a best friend can last forever. i mean..how would you feel if you had a boyfriend and he liked her...and then she started liking him..itd suck right? i mean i totally understand where your coming from and i know it must suck to be in that position..but i would just wait and let what happen, happen and dont try to rush anything you know? if you were meant to be hed break up with her..and he will someday and then hun hes ALL YOURS =P hope i helped you out. goodluck hun!
Hi,
Well theirs this girl in my school named Rachel and she's really hot! She and I are becoming best friends and share the same interest. Everybody in school says I should ask her out for the coming back to school dance but Im to nervouse that when i ask her out she'll won't feel the same way. I try flirting with her but she really doesn't seem to notice. What can I do to get her to go with the dance with me and tell if she likes me back before I ask her. Thanks for the advice.
See i think your being to much of the "best friend" instead of the "friend with possible going out" you know what i mean? you need to cut to the chase and start being flirtatious and act like your into her. She probably thinks you think of her as a sister or something because your acting as though you guys are friends. Maybe you should do something cute or ask her in a cute way..cuz if a guy did that for me i would think he liked me if he put ALL of that time to think of something for me. maybe just you two should start going out to places like the movies..while you guys are alone be more flirty y ou know? im sure if you went to one movie you could tell if she was into you or not. I really hope it works out for you hun! good luck hope i helped
Well i dated a girl about a few years back. we went out for about a year; things happens blah blah blah. well anyways i still like her and i feel the same way. i've always wanted her to be my first but i dont know if that'd...happen.
This other girl, whose really into me. Seems to want the same relationship we have..and inside i feel that i cant replace what we had. But she wants to have sex with me, and i sware i am soo tempted but both the abstinence thing and the girl is stopping me. i dont want to regret anything, all i know for sure is that i want the first girl to be the girl i marry =\
really dramatic but if you can help thanks a million
Does the old girl like you?...you see..if she likes you i think you should get in contact with her...if she doesn't like you i dont think your with the right girl now. you need a girl who is going to do the same thing girl 1 did and obviously girl 2 isn't doing that for you. If your thinking of other girls while you have a girlfriend..thats not cool. I mean you care for this girl that your with right? then why do you want her to get hurt..because lets face it if you see girl 1 or meet a new girl 1 in a club or bar or something...your def. gonna try to talk to her. I think you need to figure out what it is you really want..and maybe you should talk to you girlfriend now about this. I hope i helped. Goodluck!
Girls, do you think that facial hair on a 15 year old guy is attractive. I know that girls don't really like mustaches. But do girls like anything, or should I just stay clean?
UH you wanna know what is soooooooooo effin sexy...when guys have a rough look you know like a rough kinda beard its NOT a beard its like really short hair pn there chin and side burns down i think its soooo hot but...mustaches are gross dont do them. The clean looks always good too tho..i hope i helped ;)
there are a lot of hott guys that go to my school or other schools in my town and like at the football games, they're all there. what are some good things to say that aren't like cheesy, to get them talking to you..
P.S. i don't know anything about them.
ANYTHING! besides what school they go to.
thanks in advance.
and i need to know kinda quickly
whats up?
how do you know _____?
Hi
Dont you go to _____(school)?
Why dont you play football?
Hey i heard______about you!
lol i dont know..hope i helped
Alot of the time, I start to like guys after I find out they like me. I feel like this is wrong or cheating them somehow. I mean it kinda feels like I only like them because I like the attention of having them like me. Is this ok? does anyone else do this?
lol EVERYONE well almost everyone does that..i mean its not a GOOD thing but its a normal thing..dont worry your completely normal. hope i helped!
ok i need to know if this is considered cheating...I am "cake" and one of my guy friends is "d". I talked to him and I know he likes me.
[21:02] Cake: hey
[21:02] d: hi
[21:03] Cake: how's it goin?
[21:03] davis9088: pretty good
[21:03] Cake: thats good
[21:04] d: yea i guess
[21:05] Cake: :P
[21:05] d: i need a hug
[21:06] Cake: aww sry
[21:06] Cake: *hug*
[21:07] Cake: wish i could hug you but i can't really have people over right now
[21:07] Cake: so thats gonna have to work
[21:07] Cake: haha
[21:07] d: what
[21:07] Cake: *hug*
[21:10] Cake: so how's it going with that one chick that turns 18 soon
[21:10] d: good
[21:10] Cake: cool
[21:11] Cake: so you guys are gonna hook up soon maybe?
[21:11] d: umm what do you mean
[21:12] Cake: you said there was some chick that you were talking to at your lunch break
[21:12] Cake: did you guys hookup?
[21:12] d: she won't fuck me
[21:12] Cake: oh
[21:13] d: shes a good girl
[21:13] Cake: so is that all you are lookin for haha
[21:13] d: n
[21:13] d: i don't care that i'm not gunna get laid
[21:13] d: thats kinda why i like her
[21:13] Cake: thats cool
[21:14] d: and if i ever do get to have sex with her awesome
[21:14] Cake: i feel neglected
[21:15] d: why
[21:15] Cake: my boyfriends playing WoW
[21:15] Cake: :P
[21:15] Cake: and he' like hardly talking to me
[21:15] d: whats wow
[21:15] d: never mind
[21:15] Cake: World of Warcraft
[21:15] Cake: oh ok
[21:16] d: well i'm talking kinda
[21:16] d: i still wanna see ya
[21:16] Cake: yeah i have to like pounce on him to get him to talk to me
[21:16] d: punc eon me
[21:17] Cake: yeah but pouncing leads to much more
[21:17] d: hmmm
[21:17] d: i'd like that
[21:17] Cake: silly boy
[21:18] d: so do it
[21:19] Cake: what's your favorite part of sex?
[21:19] d: i'm not sure
[21:19] d: i love it when the girl fels great
[21:20] d: how she asks for more
[21:20] Cake: usually guys are very sure haha
[21:20] d: i just love it
[21:21] d: i dunno why
[21:21] d: i just wihs i could nut up in her
[21:21] d: instead of worry about pullin out
[21:22] d: gosh
[21:22] Cake: yea
[21:22] d: i so wanna do it now
[21:22] d: your so mean
[21:22] d: why doyou have to get me hard
[21:22] Cake: i was just curious
[21:22] d: do yo like to be eaten out
[21:22] Cake: nuh uh
[21:23] d: so yo jus tlike se
[21:23] d: sex
[21:23] Cake: many kinds
[21:23] d: tell me what you like best
[21:23] Cake: humm
[21:23] Cake: thats acually pretty hard
[21:23] d: hmm
[21:24] Cake: i like it when he's first putting it in
[21:24] d: do you like having sex with or without a condom
[21:24] Cake:it's way better without a condom
[21:24] d: so a girl can tell
[21:24] Cake: yeah
[21:25] d: so when could i see what its like
[21:25] d: i wanna have sex with you
[21:25] Cake: you couldn't handle me
[21:25] Cake: haha
[21:25] d: are you sure
[21:26] Cake: no
[21:26] d: y ou couldn't handle me
[21:26] Cake: but i know i can't have sex with you
[21:26] d: why can't you
[21:26] Cake: boyfriend
[21:26] d: how big is he
[21:26] Cake: big enough for me
[21:26] d: soo
[21:26] Cake: i've never measured him before
[21:27] Cake: i dunno
[21:27] Cake: pretty big
[21:27] d: what happens if we had sex
[21:28] Cake: hum
[21:28] Cake: i dunno
[21:28] Cake: i would end up telling him
[21:28] d: well thats cool
its not "cheating". I dont think its that big of deal but..remember to respect his gf you know. Hope i helped =)