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February 26, 2009Answers:
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Hey i'm 17, i'm here because i've found myself needing help from an outsider too. so i want to do what i can to help all of you. because sometimes its nice to have an outsiders perspective. i wont judge, and i'll respond to questions asap. i'm very straight forward and honest in my answers. i understand that everyone needs someone to listen to them or help them. i've been there, so i'd love help anyone who's in a tough spot or just needs a friend. i love to talk, so hit me up and i'll do what i can to help you with your problems. be open in your questions, i promise they will be kept confidential =]good luck to everyone out there.
advice
okay. so i am a 19 yr old girl and i've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. my ex, was my first boyfriend that i have been on and off with since i was 15. well the problem is he is really prideful.. i don't know another way to put it. he's the type of guy that never says sorry, or calls first, or buys you anything. well when we were about to get back together, i started talking to my (now) boyfriend because he had been hanging out with this other girl he claims is just a friend. so when my boyfriend asked me out i said yes. (with mixed feelings). well.. i've cheated on him with my ex twice and i know it's wrong but everytime i try to forget about him i can't. and i don't want to hurt my boyfriend, he says he loves me and i know it's the truth. whats worse is they (my ex and my boyfriend) used to be friends and my ex feels bad about the whole thing. my boyfriend doesn't know anything though, and anytime i think i should leave him for my ex, i feel really bad..i don't know what to do or who to ask for advice! who should i be with? can u really love two people at once? please help!
so first of all i completely agree with the last answer.. but i'm going to add to the bf part. as far as cheating on your bf goes, you know what you did was wrong but you need to look at it from a different light. you need to see if you really truly can recipricate his feelings towards you.. because the fact that you cheated on him not once but twice tells me that you like him but your not sure how much...
so if you let the ex go, make sure you have a clear understanding of whether or not you truly love your bf.
becase its not fair to him to drag him along if theres another guy down the road that you'd cheat on him with.
dont misunderstand me, i could be wrong about your feelings towards you bf. but i hope i helped in some small way.
if you have anymore questions feel free to ask :]
so last night my bf for over 2 and a half years dumped me because he says he doesnt know what he wants and that hes not happy. and that he wants his old life back before he met me. He also told me him and his ex are good friends now and that he was hiding it from me. I've been crying ever since and have this feeling in my stomach that wont go away. I guess its what a broken heart feels like. He broke up with me on the phone but told me he wanted to wait until this weekend but i told him no. I really need some advice and help to how i can get over him faster and be happy again. Oh and if this feeling is a broken heart.
The biggest mistake most girls make after a break up, is trying to talk to him or talk to his friends..etc. The only thing that does is reafirm in the guys head, that he did the right thing by breaking up with you. like the last answer said, it will completely throw them off if you just appear to walk away. that doesnt mean you'll never to talk to him again, or that your completely healed or anything. it just basically says to him that 'hey i'm an indapendent person, you werent the only thing i had to lose. even tho you were the one broken up with, you still leave with dignity and some pride. those 2 things are very important.
although it seems like this feeling in your stomach will never go away.. it will. it may take a few weeks, for some even months, but sooner or later it will be gone. you just have to take the next 3-4 days to be sad, cry, eat, do all the "depressing things, post break-up". but then AS SOON as those days are up, you HAVE to pick yourself up, throw yourself into a schedule/routine, hang out with you friends... do what You need to do to stop him from constantly being in your head.
i hope this helps, even a little. i've been there before, and i wish you the best. if you need someone to talk to or Anything, i'm here.
good luck!
Probably the wrong category /=
Okay so my mom and dad dont want me talking to this one guy so they went to verizon and got his number blocked so now i cant text or call him from my cell phone. is there anything i can type in for the number or something that will let me call and text him ! ( :
thankks .
the one thing i've done before, is make a new email on yahoo. they have this new feature where you can type in the phone # you want to txt, and you can txt them right there from your computer.. so it works cuz your txting from your email.. not a phone ;]. and he can txt back. your parents cant find out unless they check your email. ;]
To answer your second question, yes he can txt back. its like your basically just replacing your phone with the computer. all you do is select "SMS/Messaging" then enter the cell #. you type your txt, then send it. he'll recieve it like any other txt message and reply. its that quick. and you just go back and forth. its the equivalent of a phone. except your parents will never know ;]. AND its safer then just aim or an instand messanger because your parents can pull up those messages... trust me, its happened to me before. they can see the ENTIRE conversation. so to be safe, use the email/txt messaging thing. ;]
I have liked this guy for awhile now. He was in a relationship with another girl, but she broke up with him yesterday, and he talks to me about how he is so sad, and that he wants to talk to her. And I don't know what to tell him, because secretly I am happy that maybe I can be with him, but I want him to be happy too. So I told him that I was sorry for him, and I tried to cheer him up, but I don't know how I should go about starting something with him. Now just doesn't seem like the time. Advice?
i agree with the last 2 answers. i've been there before..so many times. ahah. right now just be there for him, give him advice and help him get his mind off of things. you'll be able to become closer to him that way. he will start to see what a good friend and person you are. guys love a girl that can make him laugh. so your doing the right thing in trying to cheer him up. as long as you dont hint at a relationship, he'll be more open to one. cuz right now the last thing he wants is another girl to break his heart. he's gonna be hesitant for a while towards girls, just because SHE broke up with him. but dont think just because he's acting like maybe he wouldnt want a relationship with you, dont think that he's not interested. guys will just always be more scepitcal about girls after they've been dumped. hope this helps! hang in there. g
He lied to me about drinking. He did it in front of me one night and i said dont do it again and dont lie to me about it like he did before. Then he snck behind my back and did it again and when i found out, it wasnt him who told me. So i was mad at him all today, but i dont know what i should do now?? Its hard to trust him when he lies and i am giving him a third chance. He said he will try to stop drinking but its hard for him. What should i do?
It seems like for him this is more that just you asking him not to. its actually difficult for him to stop. so try to help him stop. try to help make it a little easier. because it sounds like he's not just doing this to make you angry, he's doing because he's having a hard time stopping himself. so maybe just ask him, you know, if this is hard for you to stop doing then what can i do to help you or make things easier for you. see what he says. i think if he sees that you care, and your not just going to get angry at him for doing it, he'll feel more comfortable with opening up to you about why he does it. so try this, and let me know how it gois. good luck!
I am here because I have a situation that is driving me insane, and I need some help with it. My boyfriend has been calling me everyday, and for the past two days I have not heard anything from him. He will not answer my calls or read my text messages. The last time he called me was Friday. He told me that he had to work late, and he would call me the next day when he came in. He lives at the Salvation Army, and I called there after not hearing from him. They told me that he was on weekend pass. I can't believe he lied to me. He knows I worry about him. Why would he do this to me? I have been worried sick over this. I have called him numerous times and also texted him. He will not answer the phone. Sometimes it rings and sometimes it just goes straight to voicemail. This is really driving me insane. This hurts me so bad that he would do this. I don't understand why he is avoiding me because I have his tax check that he asked me to hold for him. All of this makes no sense. What am I supposed to do? Do I stop calling or what? I need some help dealing with this please.
Well he is obviously ignoring any calls and txt from you. so stop calling and txting. eventually he will have to get in contact with you. personally if it were me, when he called i wouldn't go all angry on his ass. i'd kinda give him a taste of his own medicine. when he calls i'd be like "o hey, your alive. whats up do you need something?" .. the thing is he's expecting you to be all upset with him and worried. when you act calm he'll be like "wtf?" then kind of take it easy for the next few days. then when the weekend comes around, just stop txting calling him. go out with your girlfriends and have a fun girls weekend. when you get home, see how many messages there are from him ;]. trust me, suddenly he'll never go out for days and not let you know where he is ;]. cuz now he'll get how nerv-wrecking it is. overall the lesson in this is........
*the more you act as though your not afraid of losing him, the more afraid he'll be of losing you*
hope this helps =]. gooood luck!
17/f
my ex boyfriend and i dated for a year and a half, and he broke up with me wednesday night. ever since then i haven't ate, i can't sleep, i cry 24/7..and when i do eat, i puke it up..i need some serious help.
don't tell me i'm young, i'll moved on..i've heard it before and it hasn't helped any
i agree with the last answer completely. i'll just add onto it.
i understand how you're feeling. i was with a guy and it lasted a year... he broke up with me and went back to his ex. it literally broke my heart. all i can tell you, is it does take a loooong time to get over that person. its hard not seeeing them, not talking, laughing, hanging out.etc. but eventually it does all get better. i can tell you that because now i am completely over my ex. i honestly hardly remember we even once had a thing. its crazy. you just have to remember the hardest part is right now. the first couple weeks after the break up is always the hardest. but it WILL pass. i promise. and one day your gonna wake up and be like 'dude.. i'm sick of crying over you.' and you WILL move on. i promise. i wish you all the luck in the world.
15/f
Okay well me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month. He says he would never lie to me and never hurt me and all that. Well i caught him lying to me one time and he admitted that he was lying and he said he was sorry and was begging me not to break up with me because he liked me so much. I forgave him because he admitted lying and then promised he would never do that again. But right now i am acared that he will lie again. Some guys learn their lesson and don't do it again and some are "once a liar, always a liar." So i don't know which he is. he told me he wouldnt do it again but i cant stop thinking about if he will or not. What should i do?
Well first of all it depends what he lied about...
if it was something small like what time he'd be somewhere etc... or if its something bigger like he said he was hanging out with his guy friends when really he was with a girl...
it really depends on the degree of the lie...
if you let me know what he lied about, i can help you more.
so this guy and I, Eric talked for awhile, then we stopped talking cause he asked me to send him dirty pictures, and then i got drunk a month or 2 afterwards and i called him.. then we started talking again, and we dated only for like a week, and he broke up w/ me because he was in texas visiting his dad and we were fighting cause we hadn't seen each other.. so i was like whatever, and i let it go. then later that night, he texted me and said 'i really miss you'.. i was like wtf, you just broke up with me! the only way you can miss me is cause you're chosing not to be with me. but we kind of texted a little bit and then i started liking 2 other guys, plus him. then i stopped talking to him for those other guys. and i was drunk again, and i called him up for a booty call pretty much, then we hung out a little bit but mostly just had sex. when i told him i wanted to stop all of that cause i really had feelings for this other guy, he came over, told me he was in love with me, and gave me the open heart necklace by kay. so i was kind of rethinking my decision again. then a few days later i gave him the necklace back and told him i couldn't talk to him. well, the guy who i decided i liked, fucked me over. so i call him crying and he was like my shoulder to lean on. then i realized how much i did miss him and everything and we go to opposite schools, so she shows up to my schools basketball to see this girl, WHO IS 14! and later that night i told him how i hated seeing him w/ her and everything. then he said maybe we can work this out, etc. then i texted him last night and asked him if he wanted to come over and he said 'no cuz she likes greg...' refering to the other girl and greg is her ex. so idk what to do now.. i really care about him, but he likes some girl and is upset that she likes her ex, so should i let him go? what do i do if he tries to talk to me?
16/F and he's 18/M
okaay... so basically this guy is a dick. to be bluntly honest.. u may not want to hear this, but he's totally using you. i'd drop him. you can do so much better.
if your really wanting to give him a chance tho, the best advice i can give you is NOT listen to ANYTHING he says, ONLY watch what he does. before you know it you'll see if what he's saying really matches up with his behaivor. Because its easy for him to say he loves you or misses you over a text.. but does he show that he loves you by his actions? how does he treat you?
be careful with this.. i wouldnt trust him.
feel free to ask me another question, or if you dont understand my advice..
hope this helps..
I have been dating my boyfriend Joe for a while now and he keeps saying he's going to kiss me but never does! i love him and he loves me but i'm already emotionally connected to him and i'm definitly sexually attrackted to him but how do i like get him to kiss me like hints if you could give me more then 1 answer that would be great.
Well it really all depends on the guy. Some will give in to certain things, that others wont.Some are turned on by things, that other aren't. first of all here are a few things that might be going through his head...
1. he might not be the type to make the first move. he might like a more aggressive girl who takes the initiative.
2. he actually just really isn't ready.
3. has he kissed someone before? because he could be feeling insecure.
Honestly just be more flirty, and every once in a while lean in and give him a peck on the side of his mouth. not quite on, but just kind of teasing.. like leaving it up to him to do more. Or you could try whispering something (;]) in his ear, and softly nibble/lick it (sounds weird, but its worked b4. depending on the guy, it can really turn them on), whatever you want, to kind of get him in a more physical mood. I'm sure he wants to kiss you, he just either doesnt know how to go about it, or he's never kissed someone and is feeling insecure about himself and how good or bad he might be at it.
hope this helps. let me know if i could help you more =]
how can i get our makeout more interesting?
my boyfriend and i have french kissed, but is there anything i can do to make it more intimate or passionate? when i kiss him it's hard for me to keep my thoughts straight and i don't want him to feel like i'm not interested if i don't respond. i'm the first girl he's kissed so i don't want to leave him with trashy memories but are there any little tips that could help me with this? thanks!
k so here are just a few things that might help you....
1. while your kissing kind of start out slow, and more intimate. then start speeding things up.. things will get hotter and more passionate.
2. while your kissing him run your fingers through his hair. make sure your bodies are close. and kind of press hard against his back with your hands. you don't have to be super gentle. i mean don't hurt him, just be a little aggressive. ;]
3. before you start to make out, sort of tease him by kissing all around his mouth, but not on. then when he cant take it anymore he'll grab you and start really kissing you.
4. sometime throughout the make-out session, suck his lower lip a little, before pulling away. *kiss and kinda suck his neck and ears.. that can be a sensitive area...
5. and when your about to leave or get up, bite his lower lip a little. it'll leave him wanting more.
haha these have worked for some of my friends.. so i hope they help you... lol. good luck =]
im 16/f
and hes 18/m
ill try to make this as short as possible.
we've been dating for a little over a month.we kinda rushed as you would say, we've been through the sex and i love you stage. and im geting kinda lost. hes on probation, and he has a bad rep of being a man whore sort of. well he gave me his password to change his about me, because i wanted to write it, so i was looking and i found sent messages that he sent girls on those truthboxes, saying, well nasty things, just weeks before we dated, and he was telling girls i love you and all this other things. we've already been through the "your not cheating on me are you" and then people all say hes not good news and i get frustrated and tell him what people are saying. i dont want him to think that i dont trust him, which i actully dont really completely or that i was snooping, which i was. i know i should talk to him but i really care about him, even if we did rush into things. any advice?
thank you sooo much.
well we don't really choose who we like and are attracted to. so sometimes depending on circumstances with the guy, you just have to change the way you go about the relationship. so in this case, you've chosen to give him a chance. which is totally up to you. I'm not sure if that's the best thing, only because if you don't trust him now... there's a good chance this stuff will always be in the back of your head making it really hard to have a relationship. but if you really want to give him a chance, maybe you should sit him down, and calmly just tell him that you want things to work out, but the only way things will is if you can trust him. at that point its really up to him to start to prove himself. just be careful you don't get hurt b/c often guys like this cant always do the trust thing. but not all guys are the same. so i wish you luck! hope this helps somewhat. if you have a question about what i said or anything, just ask =]
(16/f)
About a month ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. We were together for about four months, and it really hurt me when it ended. I was super upset about it, but figured I'd feel better eventually.
Like I said, it's been a month and I'm not feeling any better. I haven't talked to him much (because I want to give him some space), but it's really eating away at me and I feel like I have to do SOMETHING, because I miss my ex boyfriend SO much.
Should I talk to him about it? I was thinking of writing him a note and giving it to him (we have a class together), is that a horrible idea?
Any help is really appreciated =/
although the other advice given was good... i disagree. honestly if you sit him down and talk to him, he'll most likely look at it as if you are clingy. and guys dont like clingy. you're doing the right thing in giving him space, that gives his mind some room to wonder if you miss him, wonder if your still sad.. etc. guys dont want to have the girl completely figured out. thats to easy, and it takes the fun away. they like it when you kind of leave them guessing. so for now, act as tho you're ok with things, that you're happy. spend more time with your friends. the key to getting over a relationship is keeping yourself BUSY! and get rid of anything that reminds you of him! hope this helps!
18- female
how can i cope with DISLIKING VERY MUCH, my good guy friend (bens) girlfriend taylor? i pretty much don't like her, because i'm jealous of her. she's been with him for almost three years now. one of my friends is neighbors with ben and EVERYTIME i went to hangout there i saw taylor's car at bens which killed me to see. my friend plays hockey with ben and so when i go to watch i always have to see taylor and i hate it. i think she's pretty too which makes everything worse, shes an athletic all-star and a very popular girl which doesnt make things easier. its awkward when someone brings her up in front of me and ben because we have alot of memories together and he's tried to "get with me" which explains why they went on a break, got back together, broke up and told me they were done but still hangout because their still close but i still see her car over there all the time and at one of the hockey games i heard one of her friends say "your boy ben" so i'm guessing their back together GR! i can't stand it anymore. i feel sort of bad that i dont like her AT ALL because really, she hasn't done anything to me. it's not like i want to be friends with her but i'm just sooo annoyed with her because she has ben. i never get to see him anymore. we use to call each other best friends but now i'm lucky if i get to see him once a month. is there anything i can do? everytime i see taylor i get so sad because i start thinking about ben..
so you deffinately have some feelings for ben.. and its extra hard when there's another girl involved with him... so right now there's not alot you can do about it. i suppose you could tell him how you really feel about him. but in doing so, you have to make sure not to give him the idea that it's HIS decision (to be with you..etc.) because as soon as you give him the power, things will only get worse. as much as you can right now, just try to be his friend. you need to make sure he's comfortable talking to you. u cant give him the impression that you hate this taylor girl, because then he wont openly talk to you about her. and if he's able to talk to you about her you may be able to figure out the things he likes about her and the things he doesnt like about her.. this could help u ;] catch my drift?
so for now, just become close friends again and maybe he'll realize that you're the one he really wants.. not her. i dunno, try it out =]. hope this helps. feel free to drop me a question
This is a long long story/dilemma. So brace yourselves.
Okay, so a while back, I went out with guy A but we broke up. We broke up because of guy B. B and A used to be best friends until they both liked the same girl and B got the girl. That girl wasn't me.
So while be and A were going out, i was still friends with B and that was part of the reason me and A broke up, he was jealous of B and didn't want the same thing to happen again. before, i thought me and B would never happen..but ever since the break up, me and B have been hanging out a lot and i've just felt so......relaxed with him around. him and I are really good friends and just recently, he told me that he had feelings for me. of course, i felt an attraction too and had feelings for B as well..but under the circumstances, i think that wouldn't be a great idea as........it would definitely be uncool to A even though we broke up already and i sorta hate his guts.
also, ever since the break up with A, me and B were best friends and i told him about my new emerging guy stories. guy C was in my class and i liked him a lot.....and B knows that. me and C spent some time together and i found that he's really charming and funny as well........and i can tell that he's starting to be into me as he is now calling and texting me often.
brace yourself, there's another guy.
guy D..a good friend of my girl friend has just started texting me and we have been texting back and forth..he's really cute and funny but i've never actually met him. D seems like a really cool person and i know it's not anything fake as he is a friend of my close girlfriend and i know she would "approve" of him before introducing us.
so, i'm really really in a dilemma.
guy A is totally out of the picture.
guy B is like my best friend. he knows a lot about me and makes me feel happy but if he and i were to date, it would cause a lot of unnecessary drama with guy A
guy C is in one of my classes and we've just begun to get to know eachother and he's very very funny and cute and is into me.
guy D is.....still a little bit of a mystery but the way that he talks.......just hooks me yenno?
so..i'm kinda stuck. help!
WOW. haha.. well the best i can do for you is tell you about my experience..
k so there are four guys, well one is out of the picture.. k well last i really liked this guy, he had been my best friend for a couple years.. i was really attracted to him..and finally he told me that he really liked me. i was sooooooo happy i could hardly contain myself..
then it was summer, we talked every night.. i was so happy and couldn't wait for school to start. august rolled around, and school was back. i will never forget that first day of school... when i was told by one of my friends that he had a thing with one of my friends.. i wanted to cry, slap, scream at him.. i was so angry and hurt.
long story short he went back and forth between us all year long. i allowed it, and that's my biggest regret. if i was put in that same situation i would tell off the guy and walk away. i deserved more than to be treated like second best.
the whole thing was a MESS. it ruined my year... it really did.
so my advice for you is to be EXTREMELY CAREFUL! these guys have feelings too, and shouldnt be treated like this. think about it this way.. put yourself in their position.. would you like some guy that you really liked, picking between you and your friends? it would hurt :(
right now i dont know if a relationship with any of these guys is a good idea, because it sounds like you dont even know what you want. so give it sometime and dont "pick" any of them.. because you'll leave the other 3, hurt and upset.
and as far as your guy B... i think he's the one out of all of them that truly likes you and isnt just messing with you. my guess is he doesnt mind you calling him just your best friend because he feels closer to you with that title. he feels like he's maybe ahead of the rest. but he really cares about you. so dont hurt him. because then you wont just lose a guy... you'll lose your best friend. i'm talking from experience.. this guy i had, was my best friend... after everything, we dont even talk.. i miss him so much, but there's nothing i can do.
so stay strong, and remember that these guys have feelings too and dont just play with them.
you must be a pretty girl, u got so many guys after you! so good luck, if you need more help just ask ;]
Ok im 18 and i have been with my boyfriend for 4 months now.In the begginning things were so great, he was everything i could ever ask for. He told me he loved me, and its not a word he just throws around, and he talked about wanting to get a place with me blah blah, perfectness.Then he got laid off his job and had to move back with his parents. Things have changed drastically, he is always so stressed out and mad. he cant get a job (we live in a small town) and he doesn't care about ANYTGING anymore. i have been so unhappy for like a month now,crying so much. he doesn't say i love you, he said he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship that he's not ready for that again(he was with his ex for 3 years, they broke up like a year ago) that he just wants to take it day by day. and also he possibly wants to move to utah...without me to live with his best friend because ha has nothing going for him out here! I am so scared of losing him, because i truley care about him so much and he does care about me too. i am trying so hard to make this work, and he is putting in no effort! i honestly dont now what to do? i cant just back away from it.Because he does want to be with me. i need advice!
k so i while i was reading, i kept remembering a previous relationship i was in.. one where things seemed perfect in the beginning.. then one thing after another happened and suddenly things weren't so perfect anymore.
honestly the way he's acting right now is inexcusable. whether or not life is hard, he needs to realize he cant take it all out on you. i know you say he cares about you, and I'm sure he does.. but nothing he's doing right now is showing it. his behavior screams that he's not ready for a serious relationship, or any kind for that matter.
even though leaving the relationship seems like the hardest thing to, i honestly believe it would be best. because you deserve more than to sit around with a bitchy bf, who out right tells you he's not sure he even wants to live where you are anymore. you have to ask yourself if you really want to cry every night, wonder what he's going to do, wonder if he still loves you..etc..
his behaivor is all signs that he doesn't know what he wants. and you cant be in a healthy relationship if all he's doing is coasting.
lastly, you need to wake him up a little. right now he knows your not going anywhere, so he's basically doing and saying whatever he pleases knowing that he basically has you, and you'll never just walk away. trust me as soon as you show him your not afraid of losing him, HE'LL start to be scared of losing YOU. ... hope this helps. good luck!!! stay STRONG!