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February 26, 2009Answers:
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about
Hey i'm 17, i'm here because i've found myself needing help from an outsider too. so i want to do what i can to help all of you. because sometimes its nice to have an outsiders perspective. i wont judge, and i'll respond to questions asap. i'm very straight forward and honest in my answers. i understand that everyone needs someone to listen to them or help them. i've been there, so i'd love help anyone who's in a tough spot or just needs a friend. i love to talk, so hit me up and i'll do what i can to help you with your problems. be open in your questions, i promise they will be kept confidential =]good luck to everyone out there.
advice
okay. so i am a 19 yr old girl and i've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. my ex, was my first boyfriend that i have been on and off with since i was 15. well the problem is he is really prideful.. i don't know another way to put it. he's the type of guy that never says sorry, or calls first, or buys you anything. well when we were about to get back together, i started talking to my (now) boyfriend because he had been hanging out with this other girl he claims is just a friend. so when my boyfriend asked me out i said yes. (with mixed feelings). well.. i've cheated on him with my ex twice and i know it's wrong but everytime i try to forget about him i can't. and i don't want to hurt my boyfriend, he says he loves me and i know it's the truth. whats worse is they (my ex and my boyfriend) used to be friends and my ex feels bad about the whole thing. my boyfriend doesn't know anything though, and anytime i think i should leave him for my ex, i feel really bad..i don't know what to do or who to ask for advice! who should i be with? can u really love two people at once? please help!
so first of all i completely agree with the last answer.. but i'm going to add to the bf part. as far as cheating on your bf goes, you know what you did was wrong but you need to look at it from a different light. you need to see if you really truly can recipricate his feelings towards you.. because the fact that you cheated on him not once but twice tells me that you like him but your not sure how much...
so if you let the ex go, make sure you have a clear understanding of whether or not you truly love your bf.
becase its not fair to him to drag him along if theres another guy down the road that you'd cheat on him with.
dont misunderstand me, i could be wrong about your feelings towards you bf. but i hope i helped in some small way.
if you have anymore questions feel free to ask :]
so last night my bf for over 2 and a half years dumped me because he says he doesnt know what he wants and that hes not happy. and that he wants his old life back before he met me. He also told me him and his ex are good friends now and that he was hiding it from me. I've been crying ever since and have this feeling in my stomach that wont go away. I guess its what a broken heart feels like. He broke up with me on the phone but told me he wanted to wait until this weekend but i told him no. I really need some advice and help to how i can get over him faster and be happy again. Oh and if this feeling is a broken heart.
The biggest mistake most girls make after a break up, is trying to talk to him or talk to his friends..etc. The only thing that does is reafirm in the guys head, that he did the right thing by breaking up with you. like the last answer said, it will completely throw them off if you just appear to walk away. that doesnt mean you'll never to talk to him again, or that your completely healed or anything. it just basically says to him that 'hey i'm an indapendent person, you werent the only thing i had to lose. even tho you were the one broken up with, you still leave with dignity and some pride. those 2 things are very important.
although it seems like this feeling in your stomach will never go away.. it will. it may take a few weeks, for some even months, but sooner or later it will be gone. you just have to take the next 3-4 days to be sad, cry, eat, do all the "depressing things, post break-up". but then AS SOON as those days are up, you HAVE to pick yourself up, throw yourself into a schedule/routine, hang out with you friends... do what You need to do to stop him from constantly being in your head.
i hope this helps, even a little. i've been there before, and i wish you the best. if you need someone to talk to or Anything, i'm here.
good luck!
Well, i am 15/F 5'5 and i weigh around 124 . i want to lose 5 pounds and get reallly toned. And for summer, i'd like to have at least visible abs and a more fit butt. Is there any way that i can do this by the time that summer comes? what could be some workout plans, or eating plans?
honestly your at a healthy wait and dont need to lose weight. i'd just work at getting toned. for abs: getting a flatter stomach has alot to do with diet, not only exercise. so back away from too many carbs, and junk food. make it a habit to do 25 crunches a day. increase that # by five every other day or so.
for a nice butt: LUNGES LUNGES LUNGES!! really, thats it. i've been doing them for a while now, and i have a huge ass.. not in a fat way, but a toned/shaped way. they really do work!
hope this helps :]
Okay so do you think my twin and I should wear our hair straight ? or our natural beach wavy and curly to the ANTM (America's Next Top Model) open casting call? Thanks =)
I agree. if you each do one look, your showing the diversity you both obtain. it will be appealing to them, to know that you have more than just one look. hope this helps. good luck to you both ;]
Probably the wrong category /=
Okay so my mom and dad dont want me talking to this one guy so they went to verizon and got his number blocked so now i cant text or call him from my cell phone. is there anything i can type in for the number or something that will let me call and text him ! ( :
thankks .
the one thing i've done before, is make a new email on yahoo. they have this new feature where you can type in the phone # you want to txt, and you can txt them right there from your computer.. so it works cuz your txting from your email.. not a phone ;]. and he can txt back. your parents cant find out unless they check your email. ;]
To answer your second question, yes he can txt back. its like your basically just replacing your phone with the computer. all you do is select "SMS/Messaging" then enter the cell #. you type your txt, then send it. he'll recieve it like any other txt message and reply. its that quick. and you just go back and forth. its the equivalent of a phone. except your parents will never know ;]. AND its safer then just aim or an instand messanger because your parents can pull up those messages... trust me, its happened to me before. they can see the ENTIRE conversation. so to be safe, use the email/txt messaging thing. ;]
i really want like a bag/purse that has a peace sign. anyone know where i can find one? or should look?
yep. i agree. i've also seen some cool ones in target, hobos, and even vendors in a mall.
I have liked this guy for awhile now. He was in a relationship with another girl, but she broke up with him yesterday, and he talks to me about how he is so sad, and that he wants to talk to her. And I don't know what to tell him, because secretly I am happy that maybe I can be with him, but I want him to be happy too. So I told him that I was sorry for him, and I tried to cheer him up, but I don't know how I should go about starting something with him. Now just doesn't seem like the time. Advice?
i agree with the last 2 answers. i've been there before..so many times. ahah. right now just be there for him, give him advice and help him get his mind off of things. you'll be able to become closer to him that way. he will start to see what a good friend and person you are. guys love a girl that can make him laugh. so your doing the right thing in trying to cheer him up. as long as you dont hint at a relationship, he'll be more open to one. cuz right now the last thing he wants is another girl to break his heart. he's gonna be hesitant for a while towards girls, just because SHE broke up with him. but dont think just because he's acting like maybe he wouldnt want a relationship with you, dont think that he's not interested. guys will just always be more scepitcal about girls after they've been dumped. hope this helps! hang in there. g
He lied to me about drinking. He did it in front of me one night and i said dont do it again and dont lie to me about it like he did before. Then he snck behind my back and did it again and when i found out, it wasnt him who told me. So i was mad at him all today, but i dont know what i should do now?? Its hard to trust him when he lies and i am giving him a third chance. He said he will try to stop drinking but its hard for him. What should i do?
It seems like for him this is more that just you asking him not to. its actually difficult for him to stop. so try to help him stop. try to help make it a little easier. because it sounds like he's not just doing this to make you angry, he's doing because he's having a hard time stopping himself. so maybe just ask him, you know, if this is hard for you to stop doing then what can i do to help you or make things easier for you. see what he says. i think if he sees that you care, and your not just going to get angry at him for doing it, he'll feel more comfortable with opening up to you about why he does it. so try this, and let me know how it gois. good luck!
I am here because I have a situation that is driving me insane, and I need some help with it. My boyfriend has been calling me everyday, and for the past two days I have not heard anything from him. He will not answer my calls or read my text messages. The last time he called me was Friday. He told me that he had to work late, and he would call me the next day when he came in. He lives at the Salvation Army, and I called there after not hearing from him. They told me that he was on weekend pass. I can't believe he lied to me. He knows I worry about him. Why would he do this to me? I have been worried sick over this. I have called him numerous times and also texted him. He will not answer the phone. Sometimes it rings and sometimes it just goes straight to voicemail. This is really driving me insane. This hurts me so bad that he would do this. I don't understand why he is avoiding me because I have his tax check that he asked me to hold for him. All of this makes no sense. What am I supposed to do? Do I stop calling or what? I need some help dealing with this please.
Well he is obviously ignoring any calls and txt from you. so stop calling and txting. eventually he will have to get in contact with you. personally if it were me, when he called i wouldn't go all angry on his ass. i'd kinda give him a taste of his own medicine. when he calls i'd be like "o hey, your alive. whats up do you need something?" .. the thing is he's expecting you to be all upset with him and worried. when you act calm he'll be like "wtf?" then kind of take it easy for the next few days. then when the weekend comes around, just stop txting calling him. go out with your girlfriends and have a fun girls weekend. when you get home, see how many messages there are from him ;]. trust me, suddenly he'll never go out for days and not let you know where he is ;]. cuz now he'll get how nerv-wrecking it is. overall the lesson in this is........
*the more you act as though your not afraid of losing him, the more afraid he'll be of losing you*
hope this helps =]. gooood luck!
17/f
my ex boyfriend and i dated for a year and a half, and he broke up with me wednesday night. ever since then i haven't ate, i can't sleep, i cry 24/7..and when i do eat, i puke it up..i need some serious help.
don't tell me i'm young, i'll moved on..i've heard it before and it hasn't helped any
i agree with the last answer completely. i'll just add onto it.
i understand how you're feeling. i was with a guy and it lasted a year... he broke up with me and went back to his ex. it literally broke my heart. all i can tell you, is it does take a loooong time to get over that person. its hard not seeeing them, not talking, laughing, hanging out.etc. but eventually it does all get better. i can tell you that because now i am completely over my ex. i honestly hardly remember we even once had a thing. its crazy. you just have to remember the hardest part is right now. the first couple weeks after the break up is always the hardest. but it WILL pass. i promise. and one day your gonna wake up and be like 'dude.. i'm sick of crying over you.' and you WILL move on. i promise. i wish you all the luck in the world.
15/f
Okay well me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month. He says he would never lie to me and never hurt me and all that. Well i caught him lying to me one time and he admitted that he was lying and he said he was sorry and was begging me not to break up with me because he liked me so much. I forgave him because he admitted lying and then promised he would never do that again. But right now i am acared that he will lie again. Some guys learn their lesson and don't do it again and some are "once a liar, always a liar." So i don't know which he is. he told me he wouldnt do it again but i cant stop thinking about if he will or not. What should i do?
Well first of all it depends what he lied about...
if it was something small like what time he'd be somewhere etc... or if its something bigger like he said he was hanging out with his guy friends when really he was with a girl...
it really depends on the degree of the lie...
if you let me know what he lied about, i can help you more.
so this guy and I, Eric talked for awhile, then we stopped talking cause he asked me to send him dirty pictures, and then i got drunk a month or 2 afterwards and i called him.. then we started talking again, and we dated only for like a week, and he broke up w/ me because he was in texas visiting his dad and we were fighting cause we hadn't seen each other.. so i was like whatever, and i let it go. then later that night, he texted me and said 'i really miss you'.. i was like wtf, you just broke up with me! the only way you can miss me is cause you're chosing not to be with me. but we kind of texted a little bit and then i started liking 2 other guys, plus him. then i stopped talking to him for those other guys. and i was drunk again, and i called him up for a booty call pretty much, then we hung out a little bit but mostly just had sex. when i told him i wanted to stop all of that cause i really had feelings for this other guy, he came over, told me he was in love with me, and gave me the open heart necklace by kay. so i was kind of rethinking my decision again. then a few days later i gave him the necklace back and told him i couldn't talk to him. well, the guy who i decided i liked, fucked me over. so i call him crying and he was like my shoulder to lean on. then i realized how much i did miss him and everything and we go to opposite schools, so she shows up to my schools basketball to see this girl, WHO IS 14! and later that night i told him how i hated seeing him w/ her and everything. then he said maybe we can work this out, etc. then i texted him last night and asked him if he wanted to come over and he said 'no cuz she likes greg...' refering to the other girl and greg is her ex. so idk what to do now.. i really care about him, but he likes some girl and is upset that she likes her ex, so should i let him go? what do i do if he tries to talk to me?
16/F and he's 18/M
okaay... so basically this guy is a dick. to be bluntly honest.. u may not want to hear this, but he's totally using you. i'd drop him. you can do so much better.
if your really wanting to give him a chance tho, the best advice i can give you is NOT listen to ANYTHING he says, ONLY watch what he does. before you know it you'll see if what he's saying really matches up with his behaivor. Because its easy for him to say he loves you or misses you over a text.. but does he show that he loves you by his actions? how does he treat you?
be careful with this.. i wouldnt trust him.
feel free to ask me another question, or if you dont understand my advice..
hope this helps..
I have been dating my boyfriend Joe for a while now and he keeps saying he's going to kiss me but never does! i love him and he loves me but i'm already emotionally connected to him and i'm definitly sexually attrackted to him but how do i like get him to kiss me like hints if you could give me more then 1 answer that would be great.
Well it really all depends on the guy. Some will give in to certain things, that others wont.Some are turned on by things, that other aren't. first of all here are a few things that might be going through his head...
1. he might not be the type to make the first move. he might like a more aggressive girl who takes the initiative.
2. he actually just really isn't ready.
3. has he kissed someone before? because he could be feeling insecure.
Honestly just be more flirty, and every once in a while lean in and give him a peck on the side of his mouth. not quite on, but just kind of teasing.. like leaving it up to him to do more. Or you could try whispering something (;]) in his ear, and softly nibble/lick it (sounds weird, but its worked b4. depending on the guy, it can really turn them on), whatever you want, to kind of get him in a more physical mood. I'm sure he wants to kiss you, he just either doesnt know how to go about it, or he's never kissed someone and is feeling insecure about himself and how good or bad he might be at it.
hope this helps. let me know if i could help you more =]
dose anyone know a song that is about being shy and not liking your self and not confident but you really like a boy but you feel like your not good enough?
i don't know any with that exact message.. but here are some related songs =].
"Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop" -Landon Pigg
"Lovely" -Michelle Tumes
"The Way I Am" -Ingrid Michaelson
"You" -Switchfoot
"Who Am I to Say" -Hope
"Bruises" -Chairlift
..hope at least one of these is close to what you were looking for.. =]
All my friends always call me anorexic and skinny and other stuff that really hurts my feelings.Im not anorexic im just really skinny but ive tried everything to gain weight and they didnt work.Can anyone please tell me how can i gain weight and fast???Thank you so much!!!!!
haha i think your problem is that you have a high motabolism. that's not a bad thing, just some people higher and some have lower. basically that means you burn the calories a lot faster. your body doesn't hold onto them. so the best i can tell you is to just keep eating :O.. SORRY!
This is specifically for people who have dyed their hair (preferably at a salon).
I AM A HAIR DYE VIRGIN!!!! who has always wanted to dye her hair
But my boyfriends mom just informed me that her hairdresser (who did hair for contestants in the miss usa pageant!!!!) does her hair for free (she does his taxes or something) and that he could do mine for free also!
So the question is;
Did it KILL your hair? If you only did it once. Like, how does your hair feel? I don't want my hair to be stringy. How long does it take?
Any advice is appreciated! (FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE DYED THEIR HAIR!)
well the first time i dyed my hair, was about a year ago. i lightened it. i loved it, so i did it again this year. except this time i went dark. my hair isn't stringy at all. its soft, and smooth.. it didn't kill it at all. i love dying my hair. my advice is get it done!!! especially if its free!! u lucky ass!!
i was grounded about a week ago for staying out waaaaaay too late. my parents are a little strict, so they took this seriously and grounded me for a month. i cant use my phone or get online, but i can still play sims and solitaire.
but i cant see my boyfriend. and i get really depressed when i cant see him because hes the only thing keeping me living. im a very depressed person, but now its worse than ever. i want nothing more than to kill myself immidiately. it uses all of my energy just to keep a happy face on in front of my family. when im not around anybody ive completely broken down and cry myself to sleep every night. this has been going on for 3 or 4 days. im wiped out and as pessimistic as i can get and just a total mess. im sick of this.
can someone tell me what to do?...at least until im ungrounded and get to see my boyfriend again?
your life sounds so similar to mine last year...
wow it was really hard, and i was depressed. so i can relate. I'm actually grounded right now too for sneaking out and going to a rave :O. well i know there's probably not a lot i can say to make you feel better but first of all, you need to realize that hard times come and go.. we all go through hard times in our life. but we cant let it all get to us. i know what it feels like to really not even want to live anymore.. things feel like they'll never get better sometimes. but thing that helped me get through it the most was having someone to talk to. its nice to have someone who can listen, and give advice without judging. so find someone who you trust with your life, and can talk to freely. this will help get a lot off your chest. trust me. when you keep it all inside.. it eventually boils to the top and you completely break down. 2nd try as best you can not to be alone. try to surround yourself with people. and when you want to cry, cry. there's no reason to hold it in. sometimes we just need to cry. so let it out. so this bf you have i hope is supporting you through all of this.. that can help a lot to have someone you love and trust there to help you. i don't exactly know your situation with your boyfriend (whether you see him at school etc.) so i don't have a lot advice on that aspect yet. if you let me know a little more i'd be glad to share any thoughts of what to do... i hope this helps. hang in there, and please let me know how your doing. i've been there before, and it was seriously the lowest point in my life. i didn't have someone there for me.. so if i can be there for you, i'd love too. so good luck, and keep me posted.
ok. so i got your feedback, and i'm adding on...
so u said right now you can't see your bf at all. so the first thing you need to do is earn your parents trust back. it will take some time, but as soon as you get that back they will be more willing to let you talk to him etc. and another thing i would do.. this may be hard. but i'd apologize to his parents. it will gain their respect for you. do the same with your parents if you haven't already. its a long process, but you'll be able to see him sooner if you just follow the rules and be responsible for a while. i know its tough, but this is one of those things where you just have to tough it out. hope this helps. if you have another question, don't hesitate to ask =]
how can i get our makeout more interesting?
my boyfriend and i have french kissed, but is there anything i can do to make it more intimate or passionate? when i kiss him it's hard for me to keep my thoughts straight and i don't want him to feel like i'm not interested if i don't respond. i'm the first girl he's kissed so i don't want to leave him with trashy memories but are there any little tips that could help me with this? thanks!
k so here are just a few things that might help you....
1. while your kissing kind of start out slow, and more intimate. then start speeding things up.. things will get hotter and more passionate.
2. while your kissing him run your fingers through his hair. make sure your bodies are close. and kind of press hard against his back with your hands. you don't have to be super gentle. i mean don't hurt him, just be a little aggressive. ;]
3. before you start to make out, sort of tease him by kissing all around his mouth, but not on. then when he cant take it anymore he'll grab you and start really kissing you.
4. sometime throughout the make-out session, suck his lower lip a little, before pulling away. *kiss and kinda suck his neck and ears.. that can be a sensitive area...
5. and when your about to leave or get up, bite his lower lip a little. it'll leave him wanting more.
haha these have worked for some of my friends.. so i hope they help you... lol. good luck =]
im 16/f
and hes 18/m
ill try to make this as short as possible.
we've been dating for a little over a month.we kinda rushed as you would say, we've been through the sex and i love you stage. and im geting kinda lost. hes on probation, and he has a bad rep of being a man whore sort of. well he gave me his password to change his about me, because i wanted to write it, so i was looking and i found sent messages that he sent girls on those truthboxes, saying, well nasty things, just weeks before we dated, and he was telling girls i love you and all this other things. we've already been through the "your not cheating on me are you" and then people all say hes not good news and i get frustrated and tell him what people are saying. i dont want him to think that i dont trust him, which i actully dont really completely or that i was snooping, which i was. i know i should talk to him but i really care about him, even if we did rush into things. any advice?
thank you sooo much.
well we don't really choose who we like and are attracted to. so sometimes depending on circumstances with the guy, you just have to change the way you go about the relationship. so in this case, you've chosen to give him a chance. which is totally up to you. I'm not sure if that's the best thing, only because if you don't trust him now... there's a good chance this stuff will always be in the back of your head making it really hard to have a relationship. but if you really want to give him a chance, maybe you should sit him down, and calmly just tell him that you want things to work out, but the only way things will is if you can trust him. at that point its really up to him to start to prove himself. just be careful you don't get hurt b/c often guys like this cant always do the trust thing. but not all guys are the same. so i wish you luck! hope this helps somewhat. if you have a question about what i said or anything, just ask =]
So this whole school year I've liked this guy. I've been taking time to build a realllly strong relationship with him( that's why I haven't told him yet) and I thoughtbhe liked me, friends told me he liked me too.
But Wednesday he asked another girl out. Their personalities don't click, try have maybe 1 class togther, and they rarely talk. I've been really depressed the last two days ( crying all night) because I was about to tell him.
I was thinking he wouldn't ask her because they're complete opposites! (were in 8th grade btw) They shouldn't last log (especially until prom, 2 months away) I think this because they have barely any relationship at all and long lasting couples have had long and good relationships right?
How do I cope with this? And what are some signs if someone likes you?
(if I got it wrong I just put me in a bad spot; I definately thought he was leading me on.)
Thanks for any help!!!
the thing is guys often lead girls on without really realizing it. i'm not exactly sure why he would randomely ask this other girl out.. maybe they've been talking for a while and you just weren't aware they were? i dont know the details of your guy's relationship.. but if your sure this thing wont last then just play it by ear, and see what happens. u may be right, and they may only last for a week.. u never know. so hang in there. hope this helps a little..