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my boyfriend or ex??
okay. so i am a 19 yr old girl and i've been with my boyfriend for 6 months. my ex, was my first boyfriend that i have been on and off with since i was 15. well the problem is he is really prideful.. i don't know another way to put it. he's the type of guy that never says sorry, or calls first, or buys you anything. well when we were about to get back together, i started talking to my (now) boyfriend because he had been hanging out with this other girl he claims is just a friend. so when my boyfriend asked me out i said yes. (with mixed feelings). well.. i've cheated on him with my ex twice and i know it's wrong but everytime i try to forget about him i can't. and i don't want to hurt my boyfriend, he says he loves me and i know it's the truth. whats worse is they (my ex and my boyfriend) used to be friends and my ex feels bad about the whole thing. my boyfriend doesn't know anything though, and anytime i think i should leave him for my ex, i feel really bad..i don't know what to do or who to ask for advice! who should i be with? can u really love two people at once? please help!
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I agree with all three answers below. You need to take some time out of the picture to sort through your feelings. You're getting so tangled up because it's like you have to make decisions now, now, now. Without really having enough time to think things through. It's very stressful because you feel love for both of them. I think the reason you keep going back to your ex is because of your history together. Since you dated on and off for 4 years, you have a lot of memories and good times spent together. He's been your support system for the past four years (possibly longer from your additional info) and it's really difficult to let something like that go. You feel like you're going to be missing out either way you go.
What you need to do first, is tell your current boyfriend what has happened. Tell him about both times and tell him how you were feeling, emotionally, at the time of the cheating. He is undoubtedly going to be very hurt and angry, but he has the right to know. He will probably break up with you, but that's what you need for the time being.
Once this happens, take a step back. Think about all the pros and cons of each guy. Think about why you and your ex broke up in the first place. Think about why you and your current boyfriend started dating. Ask yourself if you can see yourself with your current boyfriend the same as you were with your ex (possibly better). Give yourself a chance to straighten things out emotionally. You're only nineteen. Don't be so hard on yourself and definitely don't make a rash decision. You have time.
If either of them really love you, they'll stick things out. If your current boyfriend does leave you and you decide you want him back, you have to understand that it's going to be a long, hard road. His trust in you is going to be completely broken, and trust is very hard to regain.
Just try to stay positive and be patient with yourself while you sort through your feelings.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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i think you need some time off, think about your feelings first, then pick who you want to be with.
since ur ex has always been there for u, why is it so hard for you to choose who you want? talk to ur current boyfriend about this, youll feel better, trust me ive been through the same thing.
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so first of all i completely agree with the last answer.. but i'm going to add to the bf part. as far as cheating on your bf goes, you know what you did was wrong but you need to look at it from a different light. you need to see if you really truly can recipricate his feelings towards you.. because the fact that you cheated on him not once but twice tells me that you like him but your not sure how much...
so if you let the ex go, make sure you have a clear understanding of whether or not you truly love your bf.
becase its not fair to him to drag him along if theres another guy down the road that you'd cheat on him with.
dont misunderstand me, i could be wrong about your feelings towards you bf. but i hope i helped in some small way.
if you have anymore questions feel free to ask :]
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Drop the Ex-Boyfriend. He's a douche.
And stop cheating on your boyfriend.
You can love two people, but Honey, you're only 19 and you have your whole life ahead of you. Tell your boyfriend now what's been going on. He'll probably break up with you, but honestly he'd probably have more respect for you because you were honest with him.
The Ex is bad news. He's the guy that messes up everything because you were infatuated with him at a young age. Just drop him. And I mean quick. I know guys like that and they will never want commitment and they won't be nice. And your guilt insinuates that you don't actually like this guy, and that you care about your current boyfriend more. I'm telling you, all the Ex is gonna be is trouble.
If your boyfriend loves you like he says he does,you have a much better chance for him to forgive you. But you also have that risk of losing him.
Don't stress about it too much. Men come and go.
-LoveSucks
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