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hes "no good" and im giving him a chance.
im 16/f
and hes 18/m
ill try to make this as short as possible.
we've been dating for a little over a month.we kinda rushed as you would say, we've been through the sex and i love you stage. and im geting kinda lost. hes on probation, and he has a bad rep of being a man whore sort of. well he gave me his password to change his about me, because i wanted to write it, so i was looking and i found sent messages that he sent girls on those truthboxes, saying, well nasty things, just weeks before we dated, and he was telling girls i love you and all this other things. we've already been through the "your not cheating on me are you" and then people all say hes not good news and i get frustrated and tell him what people are saying. i dont want him to think that i dont trust him, which i actully dont really completely or that i was snooping, which i was. i know i should talk to him but i really care about him, even if we did rush into things. any advice?
thank you sooo much.
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Well this is a very tricky situation because your in a rushed relationship where you have already given yourself to someone and then find out that hes saying things like that to girls days before you go out, but what makes it worse is that he didn't tell you, you found out by snooping and if hes this bad boy you say he is then then he won't be too happy to find out you snooped and found something like that out.
So theres a few ways you can go about this.
Option 1 is not do anything and try to forget what you saw and go back to as if you never saw a thing.
Option 2 is talk to him about what you found. Be truthful! Tell him as you were changing the myspace the you saw some comments that worried you. Assure him that you trust hes not cheating, but you want to know how he feels about you, and other girls. Ask him if he feels rushed into the relationship.
Maybe he has feelings for other girls? Maybe hes a player?
You know him better then i do so you could either ask him about those or find out or trust him.
I know you have feelings for him when it's been such a short time and this is going to be difficult.
If you choose to talk to him you run the risk of him getting angry at you for snooping, and not trusting him. OR You will both talk it out and both get your feelings out there and figure out whats what and get your answer
If you choose to not talk to him then you'll be in a constant state of distrust and your relationship will most likely suffer.
So thats the advice i have, and outcomes i see.
I say talk to him and use option 2 as a guide.
I hope it helps and hope it goes well.
Tell me how it goes.
16/m
~InsaneChildz~
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This sounds so familiar to me. I am almost 20. My ex is 27. Seven months ago I met this amazing guy, he was everything I wanted in a husband! He was the whole package, or so I thought. We got serious really fast. We started dating a week after we met. At first it was amazing, everything I could have hoped for. He would suprize me with flowers or buy me perfume. Everything was as I pictured it. After dating a month we had sex for the first time. I was a virgin and I wanted to wait but he was drunk and persuaded me too. It upset me a lot and the next day when I talked to him about it, he didnt remember ANYTHING!! After that everything feel apart. He stopped being the guy I thought he was and started being the guy he really was. He was an alcoholic and a constant flirt. He started to ignore me and was never there for me when i neeeded him. He stopped answering or returning any of my calls. He had told me that he had cheated on past girlfriends and that he was a bad guy. But me beileving that people can change let him in. Needless to say that I saw that we couldn't be together with him treating me that way. So i broke up with him, over an email since he wouldnt answer his phone. A week later he had another girlfriend. I dont know if he was talking to her while he was still with me or not, but i knida think he was. He was my first love. I loved him, I honestly did. But sometimes you have to love yourself even more. I would say learn from others. If you have a bad feeling about him. Dont stay, cause it will just get worse. And it will be harder on you. I would say confront him cause you should be able to talk to your man in your relationship. Dont accuse him just address your concerns. Thats what I would do. I gave my ex too many chances all because i loved him and I got nothing but heartache. Just be careful. And do what you feel in your heart, as cliche as that is. I hope that helps you. Goodluck dear!
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well we don't really choose who we like and are attracted to. so sometimes depending on circumstances with the guy, you just have to change the way you go about the relationship. so in this case, you've chosen to give him a chance. which is totally up to you. I'm not sure if that's the best thing, only because if you don't trust him now... there's a good chance this stuff will always be in the back of your head making it really hard to have a relationship. but if you really want to give him a chance, maybe you should sit him down, and calmly just tell him that you want things to work out, but the only way things will is if you can trust him. at that point its really up to him to start to prove himself. just be careful you don't get hurt b/c often guys like this cant always do the trust thing. but not all guys are the same. so i wish you luck! hope this helps somewhat. if you have a question about what i said or anything, just ask =]
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