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DISLIKING my guy friends girlfriend.
18- female
how can i cope with DISLIKING VERY MUCH, my good guy friend (bens) girlfriend taylor? i pretty much don't like her, because i'm jealous of her. she's been with him for almost three years now. one of my friends is neighbors with ben and EVERYTIME i went to hangout there i saw taylor's car at bens which killed me to see. my friend plays hockey with ben and so when i go to watch i always have to see taylor and i hate it. i think she's pretty too which makes everything worse, shes an athletic all-star and a very popular girl which doesnt make things easier. its awkward when someone brings her up in front of me and ben because we have alot of memories together and he's tried to "get with me" which explains why they went on a break, got back together, broke up and told me they were done but still hangout because their still close but i still see her car over there all the time and at one of the hockey games i heard one of her friends say "your boy ben" so i'm guessing their back together GR! i can't stand it anymore. i feel sort of bad that i dont like her AT ALL because really, she hasn't done anything to me. it's not like i want to be friends with her but i'm just sooo annoyed with her because she has ben. i never get to see him anymore. we use to call each other best friends but now i'm lucky if i get to see him once a month. is there anything i can do? everytime i see taylor i get so sad because i start thinking about ben..
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The problem with situations like this, is that your jealousy is clouding everything. If ben likes her enough to be with her that long, she is probably a really nice person. But, since you are jealous, you already gave a pre-judgement and have never given her a chance. If you want to see ben more, you are going to have to get to know her and hang out with them. If you can't move past the jealousy tho, I would suggest removing ben from your life. If he had any plans of being more then friends with you, you would know by now. My perspective from the outside, is that he has become more of an infatuation for you, since you can't have him. People always want what they can't have. With how strong your feelings are, it may be way too awkward to remain friends. You hardly get to see him now, would it really be that bad if you stopped being friends? These are just my suggestions, I wanted to give you a couple, there's always more then one way to fix things. Good luck.
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so you deffinately have some feelings for ben.. and its extra hard when there's another girl involved with him... so right now there's not alot you can do about it. i suppose you could tell him how you really feel about him. but in doing so, you have to make sure not to give him the idea that it's HIS decision (to be with you..etc.) because as soon as you give him the power, things will only get worse. as much as you can right now, just try to be his friend. you need to make sure he's comfortable talking to you. u cant give him the impression that you hate this taylor girl, because then he wont openly talk to you about her. and if he's able to talk to you about her you may be able to figure out the things he likes about her and the things he doesnt like about her.. this could help u ;] catch my drift?
so for now, just become close friends again and maybe he'll realize that you're the one he really wants.. not her. i dunno, try it out =]. hope this helps. feel free to drop me a question
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