Went through our phone records and there were 100 text messages all hours of the day til late at night between my husband and his female coworker. I confronted him and at first he said he had no idea who it was. I googled the number and knew who it was. I asked if I could see the messages
and he deleted them. Even the ones he got today.
I told him that looks bad..she's just a friend he says. They just talk about work stuff. He is usually sweet to me and as I tried to make my point he called me an effing B. He has never said anything like that to me in 13 years. I feel catatonic with shock..please give me advice.
If it walks like a duck, talk duckish, and doing all the quacking and whatnot... Well you've got yourself a good ole Duckie... I am a stranger writing to you on my phone screen. My advice to you isn't going to be on some scientific proven level... I don't know you or your husband... I won't write that he's a cheater... And I won't write that he isn't. Based off of what you've written , there seems to be something other than the ordinary going on. And work affairs happen way to often... I'm not one of those ppl who can guess the actual percentage of work affairs... I've just seen it happen a lot. While being married, there's certain boundaries you don't cross... Which he completely crossed... It could be an emotional affair... Which is highly unlikely, since he's in direct contact with her on a daily basis... Being work colleagues and all... I'm quite sure your women's intuition is at full force, you clearly know whether he's screwing around on you or not... You just need that confirmation from an outside source.. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, and it seems to me that yours is crumbling. This is the time to decide whether you want to spend your life, checking your hubby's phone... Or do you want to exist within a peaceful environment...self love honey!!! I hope you've embodied enough of it to walk away if need be... so the question is he unfaithful? Hmmmm, I can't tell you that Hun... But, I can say, he isn't exactly faithful...
~peace and blessings~
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I'm a female who happens to be 32... I've been single for about 7 years now... Men who's my age never approach me, unless it's some weirdo... Most times I get approach is my men in their 50s and 60s... I've been out of a relationship so long... I come from a big family with seven sisters, seven happily married sisters... And I'm the only single one... So yesterday I thought what the heck... I was off the weather was superb... I dressed up nicely applied makeup, and I went out to a bar I use to work at... And then walks in my crush... I mean I had a crush on this guy for like a year now... So I walked over to him, started up and convo... We talked a bit, and I offered him my number... He put it in his phone... 2 days past... Well today makes it 2 days and nothing... No call, no text... Nothing... How do I feel hurt embarrassed, half of my old co workers and friends were there and seen the exchange... And I'm thinking wow he don't even like me... Ugh! Like what should I do? I'm bummed out because I'm so sick of being lonely
Myself personally, I believe in the three day rule.. If a guy doesn't call you/text email or whatever in three days, more and likely he's really not interested... A man who is interested will be more eager to talk to you... Like the previous advice person said, he could be involved with someone, or busy... That could be a possibility, or maybe you'll never hear from him... Today is Sunday. Day 3 I'll forget about him and move on. Don't waste stress on something that never happened. It happens to the best of us, sometimes we as females get sick and tired of Mr. right never coming, so we make moves, and WAM were right back to where we started Singleville with a bruised ego. I'm sure being the only sister single can be stressful, lonely, quite embarrassing. At 32 most ppl are married and settled and you can feel like the last one left. There is so many ppl like you, hold on be strong, and don't let this bruise your ego... You're still a beautiful young lady, one day will be your day. And you will understand the non-calls. The best of luck to you, keep your head up
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Ok so I'm 25, I'm a female, and pretty much I'm in love with a guy that isn't aware of my existence at all...
We are both from different states,
I first spotted him on Myspace, to facebook, and even twitter...
I thought he was the cutest guy ever, but I'll never
approach a guy, so I just like watched him, from the way he interacts with his friends, I love looking at his pictures, and judging from them he has a sense of humor out of this world.
Like he's the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on, I love the way he dress, he's swag is out of this world...
Not to mention he's a business man, has he's own website, highly out going
Ugh I could go on forever...
So here's this I know I might sound in over my head, but I'm just that hopeless romantic type girl, like I'm the chick who believes in soulmates...
And for some reason I can't get this guy outta my mind.
I want to say something, but I just can't work up the nerve...
I even planned to fly to his city to just see him in person, but even in person I will never have the nerve to even say anything...
I mean, I'm a pretty young lady, I always get approached by men...
But I just want him, or at least a shot...
I'm reaching out to strangers Cuz I could never tell any of my friends, even family this...
What do you think about my situation??
I terribly disagree with the other advice giver...
For future reference please be really selective in seeking out advice... because more and likely most people give advice based on their own perceptions
Like for instance, your story sound all make up and fairy tale to them... Something they would never do... so they'll give you the advice according to their own thoughts
I don't know your life story
I don't know what you've been through
Don't know why you like a man you don't know..
Never seen, or never met outside of a computer screen...
And maybe you're in over your head...
And maybe not, maybe it's an awesome adventure that you're willingly to take that may lead you to your destiny...
MAybe he want even like you, or maybe he will
Or just maybe through this quest you might really discover what's out there for you...
Or just maybe if you don't you'll always wonder what if,
But like I say, don't listen to no voice other than yourself,
And if you feel you need to make that trip then make up...
Be protective of yourself, find out a place he'll be at, bring some friends along with you, and just see how that would go...
And please know that we live in a world with endless opportunities, there is no such thing of "fantasy" if you want something bad enough just do it, and don't seek advice from a stranger who will discourage you and tell you you're a "stalker" No you
re just like me or any other girl who's ever had a crush
Live your live limitless, live wisely, and whatever you want to do do it,
Listen to your heart, it'll always speak the loudest.
The best of luck to you
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It's finally happened...for my whole life, I have been very very good at respecting the "off limits" zone when it comes to guys who already have a GF...but now, this guy has me absolutely smitten with him...it just kind of happened, without warning...and I can tell, and so can my friends, that he seems to be smitten with me too...but he's taken. Naturally, I am compelled to get him out of my mind as far as becoming a boyfriend goes, but my heart longs for him. I am so, so ready to love, having had my heart broken my whole life, and this man is someone who I could easily see myself falling deeply in love with...
And again, he's taken! X( His girlfriend seems nice, and we are nice to each other, though there is much guilt and awkwardness on my part now because of my feelings for him...they have not been together all that long, and I have no clue how well the relationship is going. Maybe they choose to stay low profile, but it just doesn't seem like they are in love, really...I really don't know...
Obviously, I am *NOT* going to make a move on him, and not sure what I will do if he makes a move on me...I am aware that perhaps he may a 'record' of doing this to other girls, though I don't know for sure...it's just a possibility...
Say he DID break up with her...(which is the only way I am going to pursue this, and I am not going to try to do anything to make this happen either) how long would it be appropriate to wait to get together with him? How would I deal with talking to her afterwords? Am I just doing something horribly wrong in general? Has anyone ever had this happen to them, and CAN it end well?
Yes this has happened to me before. I mean, I knew a guy who's so gorgeous, and incredible. Funny, and fun. But he's taken. And that's where it ends. I never ever want to be the girl who steals away someone else's boyfriend. It's morally wrong, and I never would want to bring any bad karma to myself. And if I was in a relationship, I would absolutely hate the fact that another women is trying to push up on the one I'm with.
With that being said, you wrote that he can possibly have a record of trying to push up on females while he's in a relationship.
Doesn't that seem like a bad sign to you?
Do you really want someone like that?
Haven't you stated that you've been hurt in the past?
Do you think he can hurt you?
Because more and likely, he will treat you the way he's treated his last.
A
N
D
Since you've been hurt in the past.
You need to focus on yourself, and by doing that you will truly understand why you attracted the wrong men in the past.
Leave him alone, relinquish all contact, until he's single. because otherwise, you are truly setting yourself up for failure.
There's so many Really good single men out here... And their looking for a women like you, and you will miss their train every time chasing guys like that.
You will only allow yourself to become more damaged each and every time...
A friendship with him isn't off limits.
But if there is any feelings it is not healthy,
so therefore I advise you to leave him alone...
And find that good, amazing single guy that's searching for you...
-The best of luck to you & always
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I'm Liz (22yrs) me and my bf(45yrs)have been together for a year already,I really love him alot he has made me feel beautiful things that no other guy could.The issuehere,is that his friend (46yrs)which I get along with, he recently told me he had feelings for me.Before that he told me that my bf cheated on me I was surprised because he always tells me "don't arguee stay relax with him"I'm like $&#@)% first you say something then you come up with something else he starts talking %#@$& about my bf and I'm like give me details and he won't he leaves me in doubt.So one night I took a #from my bf cell his friend called he told me it's a guy answering days passed and said "actually it was his ex" (days after knowing I saw a voicemail it was a girl asking him for money and to call her back I asked him who is her,he was like believe all they tell you about me you don't trust me you always think wrong.Then he's you know what it's over I was are you sure you don't want to explain he walked away later that day until today he's been wanting to get me back but my attitude with him is like distant and cold)My bf was pissed besides he gets jealous when I'm with his friend alot,so he told his friend why you've been telling $&@# about me and that why he betrayed him.My bf tells me one thing his friend other though sometimes I feel he's honest and at times he's not he also gets angry if I go out with my bf and dump him since we're always hanging out.I'm so confused [
First, you shouldn't have even put yourself in that situation... I really don't believe (an that's my opinion) that you should get that close to your sinificate others best friends, especially if it's the opposite sex...
So you kinda made your bed on that one honey...
And you should never believe or take the Advice from someone who wants too steal you away from your boyfriend. Very shallow advice...
And the fact that men in there mid forties, that are best friends are fighting over a 22 year old is inconceivable. In laymen terms, "Ridiculous"
I don't know you but, from the way you even write shows your immature. I could barley understand all the internet "Logo" you wrote. And I don't believe that you're mentally ready to date someone that age. You should be talking, facebooking a guy of your own age....
My advice, ditch both of them, and date a guy that's worth it...who's close to your age. have fun with life... Hang out with ur friends, concentrate on a career, job, whatever! Ditch them and move on, I'm sure your a beautiful girl who can get any guy she wants... so why even waste your self on these dudes
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I'll try to keep it short. One day, I was playing games on my boyfriend's phone when I noticed a series of texts from this girl (we have tons of mutual friends so I was wondering why I didn't know this girl). I went through the texts and I didn't like what I saw. Texts like "smart is sexy", "hanky panky is a fun exercise ;)", etc. were in there and I got really angry. I confronted him about it, but he didn't seem concerned at all. He casually mentioned he's known this girl for a while and they've always joked around like that and it wasn't a huge deal. I'm old fashioned and I see it as a mild form of cheating. Am I overreacting or should I be worried? Thanks so much guys in advance.
No your not overreacting- He's disrespecting you by flirting around with someone like that... He never told you about this girl andddddd... You had to find it in his phone... And hanky panky- the urban definiton is-Discreet or surreptitious romantic or sexual activity... Not cool at all... And how would he feel if he found some things like that in your phone... Some ppl may think it's not a BIG deal... but it's a definite dent in your relationship... that can cause major trust issues... If I were you-I wouldn't bring up the issue anymore to him... but I would watch him very closely... I would monitor his actions... And any little thing you may have ignored before I would take notice of... We women have female intuition... and that right there tells us lots of things without hard core facts...
~The best of luck to you and always~
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My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, and... Let's just say that I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. I was positive it was going to work out, but he's just not trying. He told me he just didn't want to anymore, he just doesn't want a relationship anymore.
So I was thinking about giving him time since he wants to be a surgeon and everything. He will be working two jobs and going to school as a full time student, I know he won't have time for me. He wants me to move on, he asked me why I like him and everything.
He says that I'm always going to be that one special person, like the first person he kissed, the first person he lost his virginity, things like that. He also says that he's always going to love me, but the one thing that I'm scared about moving on... Is that I don't know where we will end up. Will we be friends? Will we possibly be together again? The other thing that I am scared to move on, I'm afraid he might be with another girl. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm terrified of losing him to another person. I don't want to even think about it, because he also told me that he wouldn't want to meet or see another girl because he knows they would get him off track to his career.
He doesn't want me to wait, because he believes he won't come back. He says he hopes, but he doesn't think he will. He even got my sister to try to help me move on, and that just hurts more.
Is there a way where I can move on? I don't want to hear about time or anything, but I need help to stop thinking of him moving onto another girl and everything. It makes me want to hold onto him longer because I'm scared he will.
The other question is, there must be a possible way that he will come back. So I was wondering, what would it take for him to come back? It doesn't matter how long for him it would take him, even years if it has to. But... Just how? Please help me.
Please and Thank you!
Not to sound mean hun but... you sound really desperate and if you are sounding that way to me and I'm a total stranger imagine how you sound to him... * Sound meaning: the words that you are writing or what I am reading... This guy really dosen't seem as if he's trying to come back to you anytie soon... especially if he's trying to get your sister to help you move on... Move on meaning... stop thinking about him... find someone else... all in the same family... Anyone who's not blind deaf or dumb can clearly see that you really love this guy... And take it from me being a girl who's been in your shoes countless times... The best thing you can do at this point is move on...
You don;t have to run out and find some random guy... but you can stop calling texting... cut off all communication... hang out with friends... if you wrk or go to school... focus alot on ur school... join groups... pick up more hours at your job if you can... do some blogs... join or create groups or like pages on face book... to break it down keep ur self busy... three weeks is still fresh trust me I know... but the last thing you want to do is waste months or even years obsessing on a guy that will never come back...
I did that once do you know it took me two and a half years on the last guy I was with... To this day he's married and not to me now it's been three and a half years and I'm still single... mainly because I lived my life thinking about yesterdays people... not saying your siuation will be like mine... but honey you really need to move on... and no one on adviceanators no matter how good their advice is can tell force you to move on... it dosen't happens over night but I promise you it will over time... you don't want to hear about time you said... but I can honestly tell you time is the greatest healer...
He may come back... he may not... But I can assure you he will not comeback if you continue to try to keep yourself in his life... men love a independent women that can hold her own... now it's time to hold yours...
- The best luck to you and always-
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So, I kind of have been falling into a chronic state of depression lately, and I have this guy friend that I ritually confide in. Because of my depression I've gotten really oblivious and often forgetful, which subsequently makes talking to people incredibly difficult (losing train of thought, can't think of things to say). Most of my friends have given up on me, and I guess I'm steadily becoming part of the anti-society. In fact I've become terribly evasive and spend my breaks skirting all situations that involve having to talk to people in attempt to save myself from embarrassment. When I talk to this guy, it's usually through texting and what not. He insists that I go hang out near the band room again, which I am trying to do, but I feel really uncomfortable doing so because I just don't fit in (I have no musical talent). This is also coupled with the fact that I am always in a bad mood and never have anything worth hearing to say... I don't want to make everyone else uncomfortable w/ my incompetence. Every time I go over there I get this tense awkward feeling and just want to curl up into a little ball.
We also share a class together and he always makes it a point to catch up with me while walking to and from class. *Note that I've been avoiding everyone at school, including him.
We used to mutually like each other, but complications occurred it sort of never happened. I think I still like him, but I can't think of any possible reasons for him to like me (I'm a total ass to be around right now).
He says he "won't give up on me."
What could this mean?????
:/
D:
I USED TO BE SO FUN AND ENERGETIC TOO!
Well, I'm on prozac, but it doesn't kick in for 3 weeks. >:(
WHAT DO I DO??
IT's a good sign... It can mean that this guy really likes you... And if someone feel that you are worth giving a chance... than maybe you should start feeling the same way about yourself... Trust me I've been depressed before... It was alot of things that wasn't happening good at all in my life... And I lost intrest in everything... My friends family... EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING... And I know how you feel.. Life is something else... But I can tell you this it is worth living... You're here for a reason so make the best out of it... Your friends has given up on you but this guy hasn't... We are humans and we can only take so many push aways before we give up... Give this guy a chance... And appreciate the fact that someone care about you no matter what... Which is a hard thing to come by these days...
~~~~~~~~ The best of luck to you and always~~~~~~~
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my boyfriend and i have decided that when i graduate (next may) we're gonna save some money up together and move in together. we see eachother a lot during the summer but during the school year only 3 times a week, at most. our sex life is pretty good. i'm just worried that moving in together will make us sick of eachother.
any advice on how to not get totally sick of seeing his face everyday?
I don't think so. Eventually you're going to have to move with a guy some point of your life... Especially if you plan to settle down or get married right?????... I understand clearly what you mean... But if you keep your relationship at a clear and safe balance that problem will never surface... For instance, if you work and go to school, and he the same... Then that leaves distance between you guys... I'm sure you have friends and so does he. So it's good to also sometimes go places with your friends...
Have your me TIME... For instance reading, watching your favorite shows, movies or whatever you like to do... And give him his space and make sure he respect your's... Time apart mends the heart... And you can easily balance your time staying with a guy... Don't smother each other to much and your relationship will surely work... I say go for it... It may be one of your best choices ever...
~~~~~~ The best of luck to you and always~~~~~~~
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Hi, I am 18f. I have a boyfriend the same age. We have been dating for three months, but I have known him for six. He is the first guy I have dated and he makes me feel like no other guy has made me feel. He is caring, honest, he listens, and he is just a nice guy. He lives almost an hour away though and even though he makes time to see me.. I have my doubts. I mean, he is good to me... but we don't have too much in common. We don't care for eachothers music (which gets annoying) and we do not have the same interests at all.. how can this work? Should we just be friends? I keep thinking I should stay with him cause he is so good to me, but then I wonder why I am with him if we don't have many common interests..?. Should I stay with him until I meet someone who I can relate to more? Or is that wrong? :/ Please answer all my questions, thanks
It seems to me in the dating world that you are some what inexperienced... If you break up with him you can meet a guy that have a lot of different views and things as well... If he is a nice guy like you say he is then my advice is to stick it out... I think you two need to draw some sort of line... Don't get stubborn but learn to support each other in what you both like... Sometimes even though you don't like his music or movies or whatever... Just sit down and watch them with him sometimes... And make sure he does the same to support what you like... That's a relationship for you... Relationships are about making sacrifices... And that's on both ends.
Don't give up yourself to please a guy... And make sure he dosen't either because at the end of the day you guys will become bitter and unhappy... And you're still young honey... And this may just be one relationship out of many you may have... Or you can be with your soulmate.. Who knows... Anyway learn from this experience and if need be apply it to your next relationship...
My honest opinion is to stick it out... Trust me I had my fair share of relationships... And some was ok some wasn't... And if you have a good guy stick with him... Work out your differences... You may wonder what else is out there... But theres not to many good men out there... And sometimes it's hard to find another good person who will stick with you threw stick and thin... Opposites attract so I will continue to keep giving my relationship a try...
~~~~ The best of luck to you and always ~~~
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long!
I can't really say that the facebook issue is a cause to break-up... But not being honest with you is a NO NO... Without honesty theres no trust... And without trust theres no foundation... So with him lying and you knowing it... That leaves you in a akward position...
And on the other hand, Something I've notice about facebook is, a social networking site alot of people tend to use to vent. Your boyfriend maybe was wrong for being dishonest to you but... Look at it this way... Maybe he posted those things about your relationship so he can get feed back. So he can vent, so he could get advice.
And by you seeing it maybe it shamed him. And he's to shameful to admit what he was doing. Now question yourself. How open is your relationship? How good is your relationship? How strong is your relationship? What in the world could be right or wrong about your relationship where your boyfriend have to tell friends family and strangers things only you to should discuss.
Honestly I don't think theres no need for a break up, I think that you two need to talk it out. And you need to demand to know weather theres problems between you two that you don't know about. Also why in the world would someone you share so many intimate moments with will blast it on a social networking site. My honest opinion, If it was me I'll be pissed!
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Hi I've been with other half 6 years. We got married a year ago. We get along 60% of the time. I do love her . We don't have kids. She and I have good jobs. Our social life was great. Now. I really don't want to go and do the same things we did mainly. Bars.clubs I'm 34 now. I rather stay home and tell her to go with her friends. I have many toys like boat.jetski.4 motorcycles. A custom truck. Newish s.u.v . And 2 other trucks. I am a beach person. So anyway I always went to Florida for Vaca and enjoyed the sun. So now I'm asking her that we should move there. But she 1 doesn't want to leave her family and 2 her job. Witch is a second grade teacher. Now don't get me wrong but I love new York. But its radicals expensive here and I'm tired of the real cold weather. I've been having this itch for ever and like I don't know what to do. I say life is short. And move on. I know I'm selfish. Like I don't know what to do . My mind is saying go, everyday but I can't do it. And we spoke about it and by the end of discussion. I feel bad. We are two different people in a way. I'm more of a bad boy and she os the good girl. But when we fight I just want to say go. But I never do. I know witch way I take I will make her sad. But life is short and I'm miserable here. Vacation is not enough. And I could move my online business. But I don't make enough to buy a house and take care of us at same time. Note all toys where bought In a 10 year period. So what should I do stay and deal with cold and be unhappy ,and how expensive it is here. Geez a pack of cigarettes are almost 11 dollars. I don't smoke just example. So far I'm leaning to go and take the coward way out . Leaving without notice. Bit how can I make this work in a man way. Thanks for any advice
I stongly believe that everybody deserves closure... I think you need to sit down and tell her how you feel... I've personally been treated like that and I really don't condone such behavior...
And if that's the way you feel then maybe it's just not meant to be... Don't feel bad about the way you feel.. Don't even try to justify the way you feel... It's normal sometimes we all grow apart and don't feel guilty or even let anyone make you feel that way...
Florida is a great place to live... The beach is everywhere and you're a beach person... It's a beautiful laid back place and if that's where your heart is... Knock yourself out... I have family there and personally that's a place I will really consider moving to...
And yes I know from personal experience that NewYork is very expensive... It's a great place where alot of action is... And it's for some but not so much for others...
And that's not where your heart is at... It's totally odvious you're not there in heart... But only spirit... But you need to talk to her and explain the way you feel... She might take it hard, but when it's all said and done... You'll have her respect...So go to Florida... But please close the door on your past before you do... And remember your happiness comes first....
`````The best of luck to you and always`````````
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I have been suspecting that my boyfriend of 4 years is cheating on me and could be already engaged!! i go to ask him and he says its crazy talk and all.. i look at his phone and its always clear.. but i have a feeling he tells the other one not to call or text at the times he does see me.. is there any way i can get hold of his cell phone record for free or anything!! ah i'm going crazy here i need to know!!! please help me!!
It's possible, if you had his account info... You can go online depending on what celluar company he's with... But why even go that route... If you know he's cheating on you... Why even stay with him... Why be with someone you cant trust...
I been there before... Going threw phone seeing phone records... Checking their voicemail behind their back.. Sometimes I found things sometimes I didn't... Either way more and likely if you are feeling away usually it's true... We call it womens intuition... And I can see that you odviously know your man and you odviously feel something isn't right.
Trust your instints and move on honey... It isn't worth it to stress over someone who isn't worth... Pour over phone records... None of it isn't worth it to continue to waste time on someone who isn't worth it... When their are so many men who are...
`````` The best of luck to you and always``````````
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i caught my bf having intimate conversations with a web cam girl. He showed her pictures of himself and our pets. he made a note to remember her birthday and wrote love _____
apparently the web cam went two ways.
i find this really creepy and im having a hard time getting over it and trusting him. we have been together 6 yr and are getting married soon.
my question is is this cheating?
will they do it again?
is this a warning sign of things to come?
personaly i feel like this is more of an emotional cheat, but also its grose... and im no prude. I love him alot but i dont understand why he would do this to me. plus he has been turning me down for sex... so im lost
You really need to reconsider marrying this guy...You cannot trust him... And yes an emotinal affair is the same if not wrost than a physical affair...
You can't not trust him and eventually your marriage will go down hill.. I think you owe your self the chance to really think about this guy...
Marriage doesn't change anything... And if he's doing those things what makes you think marriage will change anything at all.. Yes it is gross that he will engage in such deciteful behavior...
I'm sure you are a beautiful person and you deserve much better than the treatment you're recieving...
````` The best of love to you and always`````````
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Me and my ex broke up about a year ago and i still havent gotten over him he was my first love and i miss him very much especially since i never really got to say bye im dating someone new now and they make me really happy but im scared that theyre gonna leave me the way my ex did i havent seen him since we split up but anyways i wanna give my heart to the new person im with but i cant because a part of me is still holding on to my ex im tired of crying over him i want to let go but i dont know how what can i do to get over him???
I totally agree with the other advice giver.... But the reason why I choosed to answer this question is because two and a half years ago I was in the same siuation as you....
I met a man that I thought was so perfect in so many ways... I thought I was even going to marry him... I was so head over heels in love that I ignored the fatal flaws that he had... Like being kinda selfish and also being a cold hearted person towards people who were close to him...
So when he left me after an argument without even saying good bye or giving me a closing peiord, I was crushed... And I was so heartbroken... I tried numerous times to contact him and each time he ignored me.. And so I finally after months gave up chasing after him...
Later I meet a guy like you have... but I could never really get over this guy... SO I destroyed my relationship... And it actally took me over a year to get over this guy...
Now over two years later I'm curently single... And I been threw alot since then and I often blame my down falls on my ex... I made a mistake of letting bitterness and hate consume my life... And the mistake of living life threw a rear view mirror...
Don't make my mistake... Please!!!!! I urge you... Life goes on... This guy have been gone for over a year... And the best thing you can do for yourself is to let go... Think about the pros and cons of your relationship... Everything you did wrong and right and learn from your mistakes... And try to be the best women you can for this new amazing guy you are with...
The thing about both of our exs are they were cowards... They were not man enough to give women that shared their life with them even a bit of closure... And the new guy I would bet my bottom dollar is no where near that way... But you never will know unless you give him a fair chance... You owe it to him and you owe it to yourself...
`````````The best of luck to you...and always````
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I have been dating a guy for two years. I am a senior in high school and he is too. Things have been wonderful. We love just hanging out together and spend lots of time together. We went to the prom and I have supported him through all of his tennis matches this spring and their run for the state championship. We took our relationship slow, but we have been sexually active for about a year. We just want to spend all our time together. Well, last month he asked me out and on the way home he told me that he "needed some space". I was shocked because I thought things had been going well. We had a terrible argument about it, and decided we would take a break. I didn't text or call him because he asked for space. He did text me a few days later and told me that he had made a mistake and he wanted to get back together. I said great! Since then things have changed. I have tried to be positive, but in the back of my mind I keep wondering if we are going to break up again. He texts and calls me, but we don't have sex like we used to. He doesn't want to. I want to be with him, but I can't keep wondering day to day if things will get back the way they used to. I want my old boyfriend back. I feel like we are at a standstill. My heart is telling me that maybe I should just tell him that he has changed and that I love the old person not the way he is acting now. He is so spacy and strange. He acts like he can't wait to get away from me. Any suggestions on what to do? Is there any way we can get past this feeling of disconnect?
Yes I agree you need to talk to him. YOu need to ask him why did he really want to split up... And why have his behavior changed towards you... This may really be a bad sign... You have to get ready for the good and the bad... Because it could be a number of things... Maybe he's having family trouble or with friends, school, etc... Or maybe you guys really have grown apart.
Or maybe theres someone else in his life... The signs are there... He's not having sex with you anymore... And he doesn't want to spend time with you either... Those are clear signs that he could possibly be in love or involve with someone else... You need to keep that in mind and get perpared for the best or even the worst... I'm not saying that could be.... but it's a sure possibility... So a talk with him is really a must...
The best of luck to you and always
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My ex and I are VERY close.We hangout all the time ,sometimes alone and sometimes with a group. We had an alone hangout the other day and got into a deep talk. We had both had drinkin that night so we were pretty much freely speaking the truth.He ofcourse started making moves on me and kissing me and all that and while he was doing all that i told him it was wrong because I still see him as more than a friend and he said he still sees me a little more than a friend but less than a girlfriend (whatever that means) He told me that he literally can't describe how he feels towards me and that he cares about me so much and that he sees me as his little sister and that he will protect me no matter what and that he wants me to be happy,and he wishes he could feel the same way about me as he did when we dated . Yet,i dont know how he could see me as his little sister yet want to hookup with me all the time. He told me that we won't hookup anymore because he doesn't want to give me mixed signals but all he does is tell me how im such an amazing girl and he trusts me and all this stuff and i just don't see how he can't see me as more than a friend! I'm always there for him but maybe if we spend a significant amount of time without eachother ,he will realize he really does have feelings towards me..but im not sure.What should i do?! Im crazy about him
RUN!!!!!!!!!!! It's clear he doesn't want a relationship with you. If a guy wanted to be with you he will make it happen. Theres nothing else in between... And when a guy describes you as his sister that means that he really don't want to much with you. I mean come on... What guy out there that really wants to be with you is going to call you a little sister. Get over this guy this is summer have fun! And I suggest that you stop hanging out with him until you can get over the feelings you have for him. Move on with your life and leave your heart open for a man who does won't you!
the best of luck to you and always
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19/f
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 11 months now and I am so in love with him. We are very serious and I see an amazing future with him - but theres just one problem.
I's not that big of a deal but he has a little bit of a wandering eye. While I know he would never cheat on me, he constantly tells me which girls he thinks are "total babes" and which celebrities he would love to get with. I know this is normal, but it makes me uncomfortable and insecure. When we go to the beach, he stares at other women. Just the other day he took one of my lingerie catalogs and was drooling over the girls while I was sitting right next to him. When I get mad or upset about it he just laughs or blows me off.
And it's started to make me feel like I'm not enough, and that's why he looks elsewhere. I used to be very confident and outgoing but now I feel like if I were just skinnier or had bigger breasts that maybe I could keep his attention. Now I feel uncomfortable having him see me naked and he complains all the time. He gets frustrated because I won't stay naked after sex or strip for him.
I tried explaining to him why I've gotten so insecure and how him gawking at other girls bothers me but he laughed it off or changed the subject. It's embarassing, I don't know how else to go about it.
I realize he is portrayed in a negative light in this question but he really is amazingly sweet, caring, funny and and all-around great boyfriend. I know he's in love with me and I want to be with him but hate feeling this way. How can I solve this issue?
Thanks for all who reply.
He may be a great guy but he have a problem. It's really normal how you feel and if I was with a guy who goes banana over every pretty face I to would feel somewhat insecure.
And seriously you have to question yourself... Can I continue to feel like this forever? What if we get really exclusive like engagement or even marriage? Will his behavior continue? Will his behavior ever heighten and he go as far as to cheat? We can never say what a person will do... Hell we never no sometimes what we will do in the future... Or even what type of person we will become!!!!!!
All I'm saying is his inappropriate behavior needs to stop. He's making you feel insecure, and it's hurting you. So you need to put your foot down! You need to make it crystal clear that his behavior is disrespectful and it's making you feel less than the beautiful person you are. And if he loves you like you loves him than... he will make a drastic change... A man in love will do anything in his power to ensure that his women is happy...
And for your sake I hope his loves matches yours and he will change. But if not than you need to seriously consider moving on. You can't keep on going threw life feeling this way. In the future when you grow older your body changes, black hair starts to gray a bit. When you have kids you tend to out on a few extra pounds. Are bodies experience a lot of drastic changes in life. So we need someone who will live us inside as well as out. Unconditional love to be exact... And if we can't get it we move on... And since you found a man that you love so much an he seems to be such a great guy I hope things for you two gets better :)
- The best of luck to you and always-
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My wife of 24 years has just left me and moved back to her parents citing my unreasonable behaviour but I am suffering depression and on medication ,I have changed the way I react to people and sent all my phone contacts a text stating I was going to become a changed person ,given up smoking ,been going to a counsellor with my wife and now she says that she has not loved me for a couple of years.I have 2 boys 1 is 21 and in the army the other is 15 and she has left him here with me.she wants her freedom not a mothers commitment but I have no choice in the matter and i am left to pick up the shattered remains of our lives while she goes out all the time now with friends.should I give up on her and walk away or still try to save our marriage ,my boys want me to try and save the marriage and thats what I want to do but how long is trying to save a reasonable length of time.I am 56 and my wife is 44.
First I want to say I'm so sorry about that, I'm sure that you're deply hurt by this... And I'm sure time will make your pain a little bit lighter.
I really mean what I'm about to say! I know that your kids really want there Mom and Dad back togeather... And that's exactly what I would want if I were them.
But I really think that maybe you should now focus on yourself and your children. She clearly dosen't want to be with you. And she has given up her responsibility as a mother to go hang with friends. And at the age of fourty four wow!!!!! I would think that a women that age would have gotten all the partying out of her system. But I stand corrected.
And I see that you two has been togeather since she was around the age of what????? 20... She was really young when she took on the responsibility of being a wife and mother. And it seems as if she missed out on a lot of her young adult life. You were twelve years other so I'm assuming thirty two at the time ( Please correct me if my math is incorrect never really been good at it :>)When you meet her she was a very young adult and it seems that she really never had a chance to be a true young adult. She missed out on partying, clubing, road trips with friends and alot of other things.
I'm not trying to justify her actions but I think a small part of her wasn't ready for what she gave you. Some people can handle getting exclusive at a very young age but others can't... And the fact that she did make that choice to wed you and have kids by you and then split, I feel that she is a coward.
She not only left you which is bad enough but she left her children behind as well. And that doesn't make her any better than any dead beat father walking around. So please use everyday to try to heal your heart wounds... And make life a little more easier for your children.
Stop!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trying to focus on getting back togeather with this women... And focus on yourself and your children. She may or maynot ever come back but for the time being you have to continue living.
Do what you have to do to get out of this depression stage. It's so easy to wallow in self pity and be swallowed up in depression.. But sometimes we find it so hard to just simply live and be happy... We don't know what's in store for us in the future... But worrying about people who's long gone out of our lives is heading to no where zone fast...
I have answered some very simple questions on here but yours is the most difficult question I ever came accross. It's really sad... But you gotta move on for yourself and your kids... And even though your siuation is hard, trust me somebody else is a little harder.
- The best of luck to you and always-
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Ok here goes... I am a 23 year old female. And it's this really hot guy that I like for about six years now... Actually we meet before and we exchanged numbers but at the time I really wasn't giving him any play... So time flys by and then later I was ready to talk to him but he just ignored everytime since I blew him off before.
So on face book I bumped into his profile... And I sent him a request but he didn't accept. And my felings instantly became hurt. So I mae up a facke profile using this really hot girl pictures. And I sent him a request he instantly tried to hit on her and... I played back with him.I told him that I was away in college and that I'll be coming back his way in like a month.
So for about three weeks and a half we chatted... On Im's facebook and even on the phone. And I know he really started to gain feelings for my fake profile. He even went as far as to saying he loved her. So when it was geeting close to the time when my fake profile was to see him I came out and told him.
I felt sad for him and bad that I decieved him like that. And over time I had started to gain feelings for him. I mean he really adored who I was playing to be and a part of me secretly hoped he'll like me the same.
So when I revealed who I was... He acted really shocked but he promised he wouldn't be mad at me. And he said he wanted to be friends. But he said that I had to perform oral sexual acts for him to forgive me. And I did two nights in a row.
And instantly his whole demeanor changed... Now he treats me like crap, he ignore most of my phone calls and he treats and talks to me like trash.
But when I was acting as if I was the fake profile he absolutely adored her. He would call everyday, ALL DAY and we would talk from sun up to sun down, and now I go days without hearing from him... And that isn't the worst part.
I've been really afraid lately like walking on egg shells. We stay in a small town and he's really popular. I mean everyone knows everyone. And the reason why I out up with alot from him because I'm scared on Facebook that he will annouce on his wall what I did and alot of means things about me... Because he's friends with some of my friends and family...
And it's like he have something hanging over my head that's why I performed the sexual acts in the first place... But at the same time I do have some feelings for him What in the world should I do? Please help me
Umm... You were being used duh!!!!! I don't want to be rude and all, but sometimes we can all use a little tough love.
This guy is odviously a jerk! And I don't know if maybe you're caught up in some romance comedy (The truth about cat and dogs) Maybe????? Because honey this is real life and people are not just going to get decieved by you and then automaticly just fall in love with you.
It's totally clear that you never really was what he truly wanted. And the girl you played to be was all he wanted. So him being the loser and jerk that he is, He asked you to perform a degrading act with some retard promise that you will be eventually togeather. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he really wanted to be with you, he would have ask you on a date. MOVIES, OUT TO EAT, BOWLING, WALK ON THE PARK, BEACH.... That's what a decent guy would have done. Personally I would have been flattered that someone would go threw such extremes to get to know me. But this guy is a creep and he took advantage of you.
And all you got out of this was pure shame and embarassment... And he another notch under his belt. Hopefully next time you can learn to wake up. Meet guys the normal way let them approach you, ask you on a date and treat you like the queen you are.
Break all ties with this loser. And find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve... and not some street hooker...
- The best of luck to you and always-
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