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I give up
I'm a female who happens to be 32... I've been single for about 7 years now... Men who's my age never approach me, unless it's some weirdo... Most times I get approach is my men in their 50s and 60s... I've been out of a relationship so long... I come from a big family with seven sisters, seven happily married sisters... And I'm the only single one... So yesterday I thought what the heck... I was off the weather was superb... I dressed up nicely applied makeup, and I went out to a bar I use to work at... And then walks in my crush... I mean I had a crush on this guy for like a year now... So I walked over to him, started up and convo... We talked a bit, and I offered him my number... He put it in his phone... 2 days past... Well today makes it 2 days and nothing... No call, no text... Nothing... How do I feel hurt embarrassed, half of my old co workers and friends were there and seen the exchange... And I'm thinking wow he don't even like me... Ugh! Like what should I do? I'm bummed out because I'm so sick of being lonely
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If someone you weren't interested in offered you their phone number, you are faced with either telling them you aren't interested in that way, wondering if you don't ask if they're just giving it in friendship, or feeling that to avoid hurting their feelings, the best thing is to accept that.
So if a guy hasn't asked for your number and you just volunteered it, most likely, He accepted it just to be polite.
Not knowing you, I can't say if theres something you are doing that turns guys off. But my guess is that it isn't something tangible, or something that you consciously do. What has just as great an effect at making people stay away from others as far as making friends as kids in school or for relationships as adults is what others pick up on at a subconscious level. So I will mention that right now for you to give thought to. Its basically, low self esteem, and low self confidence. In your case, even if you never had low self confidence in the past, enough rejections in a row could cause you to think in ways that bring on low self esteem.
Not to pick on you dear, but I see myself in the past by some things you stated, things I needed to learn how to deal with properly in me before I'd have more success in life not to mention relationships. As a kid I had extreme social anxiety or shyness as it was called back then. I followed a treatment plan where I over came that, but as I learned about 10+ years later, is that I still had something hard to detect in myself, a fear of what others might be thinking, no matter what I or someone else I was with, was doing.
I feared what awful things a person may think of me, and then those fears lead to more emotions like embarassment and such.
So even tho your coworkers saw the exchange of phone number, there is no way for them to know that it wasn't for just a pick up. It could be in talking that you mentioned Dad collected old cars but never fixed them up and you inherited them when he passed and this guy happens to like old cars and wants to come over and buy some off you. Okay, wild example, but truly, people don't really know...and what we don't know, our minds will make up in our heads all sorts of stories to fill in the gaps. It is only my distorted thinking that held me back and a lack of self confidence. Now that I know about this, it isn't a problem that overcomes me anymore. But being human, I am prone to bein affected just like anyone else by a new situation or unknown territory...cus new stuff and change is scary for us all and so I will see those distorted thoughts pop up in my head still. What I do now, is recognize the distortion and replace it in my mind with the truth.
Hon, rather than go long length in trying to explain more, you might benefit from either seeing a life coach who would work with you on how to be ready for dating and finding a mate. If it comes to the point you may need to see someone to get the specific help for distorted thoughts, fears, anxieties, you would want to look for a psychologist who uses and teaches the CBT method, cognitive behavioral therapy. This works so well because our behavior, is going to be spurred on by our thoughts. Good thoughts, good behavior, distorted thoughts, problems in what you are doing that may be hard to see until someone else who does it for a living can point it out to you.
Dont worry, this does not mean theres something wrong with you, that you are mentallly ill, etc. Most humans live with distorted thinking. Its the amount of it that begins to bog down a person in certain areas of life. Low self confidence can add to the issues you experience. In tests done with men in a room of women of all sorts, model types to average in looks, after initial conversation with the lookers, they gravitated to and found the ones with self confidence to be sexier, no matter what their looks. I believe this from my experience as an adult who after divorce got out there dating again. I now had the self confidence and so many men were attracted to that, even if they werent perfect for me in may other ways. I wish you the best, don't give up. And 32 isn't too old to find a good guy. There are many who avoid marriage and play and take all this time to learn, grow up and mature and realize what theyve been doing wrong with women and are finally ready in their early 30s to settle down and marry the right one.
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Myself personally, I believe in the three day rule.. If a guy doesn't call you/text email or whatever in three days, more and likely he's really not interested... A man who is interested will be more eager to talk to you... Like the previous advice person said, he could be involved with someone, or busy... That could be a possibility, or maybe you'll never hear from him... Today is Sunday. Day 3 I'll forget about him and move on. Don't waste stress on something that never happened. It happens to the best of us, sometimes we as females get sick and tired of Mr. right never coming, so we make moves, and WAM were right back to where we started Singleville with a bruised ego. I'm sure being the only sister single can be stressful, lonely, quite embarrassing. At 32 most ppl are married and settled and you can feel like the last one left. There is so many ppl like you, hold on be strong, and don't let this bruise your ego... You're still a beautiful young lady, one day will be your day. And you will understand the non-calls. The best of luck to you, keep your head up
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I can't say for certain why the man has not called you. It could be for a multitude of reasons. He could be involved with someone, he could just be busy and will eventually call you. The last thing you should be is embarrassed. If he wanted to embarrass you he would have refused the offer of your phone number.
I understand being 32 and lonely. My son is a bit older than you and because of a very bad relationship in his early years he was quite gun shy to commit to another relationship though he had many. You may or may be not be a bit like him in that your looking for a custom fit in an off the rack world. Which is exactly what I finally said to him.
I suggested he join one of those dating sites like Match.com. He did and he met some fantastic women. As the saying goes the third one was the charm. I'm finally about to become a father in-law. They have moved in together, combined their finances and made several joint purchases to follow their combined passions.
My son has opened her eyes to new passions and she to him. She has strong points where he is weak and vice a versa such as she is a great money manager where he never has been. My son is the problem solver and the calm head in a crisis. She goes to pieces in a crisis. They are just about a perfect fit. Best of all I'm a big tease and I tease her and she hands it right back to me and has since day one.
My wife and I are a perfect fit because we met at work in a place you could only work if you had a passion for the job. TO day finding a custom fit is next to impossible without some help. This is where these dating sites come in. Through these sites you can for the most part order up the person you are looking for in a spouse.
Therefore my recommendation is you try a dating site. some of the religious dating sites are free. Sites like Match.com. charge a fee. It might also be worth while sitting down with a psychologist to talk about what is holding you back from having another long term relationship. While you have not said so I think something in your last relationship may beholding you back. If your employer has an EAP program then ask them to find a psychologist for you and most likely they will pay for the first few sessions then your health insurance will take over.
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