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Conflict, concience, and my attraction to a man who is taken...
It's finally happened...for my whole life, I have been very very good at respecting the "off limits" zone when it comes to guys who already have a GF...but now, this guy has me absolutely smitten with him...it just kind of happened, without warning...and I can tell, and so can my friends, that he seems to be smitten with me too...but he's taken. Naturally, I am compelled to get him out of my mind as far as becoming a boyfriend goes, but my heart longs for him. I am so, so ready to love, having had my heart broken my whole life, and this man is someone who I could easily see myself falling deeply in love with...
And again, he's taken! X( His girlfriend seems nice, and we are nice to each other, though there is much guilt and awkwardness on my part now because of my feelings for him...they have not been together all that long, and I have no clue how well the relationship is going. Maybe they choose to stay low profile, but it just doesn't seem like they are in love, really...I really don't know...
Obviously, I am *NOT* going to make a move on him, and not sure what I will do if he makes a move on me...I am aware that perhaps he may a 'record' of doing this to other girls, though I don't know for sure...it's just a possibility...
Say he DID break up with her...(which is the only way I am going to pursue this, and I am not going to try to do anything to make this happen either) how long would it be appropriate to wait to get together with him? How would I deal with talking to her afterwords? Am I just doing something horribly wrong in general? Has anyone ever had this happen to them, and CAN it end well?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
first you need to find out what he wants you for ask him: "will you dump your current gf to be with me?" or do u just want me as something extra on the side while you stay with your gf? then make your decision based on that because it sounds to me like you want him all to yourself but he may be planning on having you and his gf.
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Yes this has happened to me before. I mean, I knew a guy who's so gorgeous, and incredible. Funny, and fun. But he's taken. And that's where it ends. I never ever want to be the girl who steals away someone else's boyfriend. It's morally wrong, and I never would want to bring any bad karma to myself. And if I was in a relationship, I would absolutely hate the fact that another women is trying to push up on the one I'm with.
With that being said, you wrote that he can possibly have a record of trying to push up on females while he's in a relationship.
Doesn't that seem like a bad sign to you?
Do you really want someone like that?
Haven't you stated that you've been hurt in the past?
Do you think he can hurt you?
Because more and likely, he will treat you the way he's treated his last.
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Since you've been hurt in the past.
You need to focus on yourself, and by doing that you will truly understand why you attracted the wrong men in the past.
Leave him alone, relinquish all contact, until he's single. because otherwise, you are truly setting yourself up for failure.
There's so many Really good single men out here... And their looking for a women like you, and you will miss their train every time chasing guys like that.
You will only allow yourself to become more damaged each and every time...
A friendship with him isn't off limits.
But if there is any feelings it is not healthy,
so therefore I advise you to leave him alone...
And find that good, amazing single guy that's searching for you...
-The best of luck to you & always
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