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If I keep looking at our old conversations together..what does that mean?
My ex and I have been separated from since the beginning of the year. I am slowly staring to get over him and I am so proud of myself for making progess. Anyway, lately I can't help but re-read our old conversations (I saved some for memories, I tend to do this with guys I've really liked, I have some saved on my computer, e-mail, tumblr, etc), I even re-read the questions I posted on here about help I needed with him. I just want to reminisce on what we've had and establish that all of it is down the drain but realize that I did learn something. It hurts to read it sometimes though because I just can't help but miss him...Well im not sure if i miss him but i miss being happy knowing that I had someone and someone had me. But from what I've read, we seem to have had problems all the time. From reading everything I see now that the main thing we lacked in our relationship was communication. He was my first boyfriend so I had to learn everything through him, but I wasn't his first...but his longest. But I feel that I have learned A LOT over the past few years from when the cycle of relationships and boyfriends started. He's moved on to another girl now, they're just friends but I know he;s trying to take it slow with her to make sure it lasts... He's trying to do everything better than what he did with me, which is smart in his case, even though I can't help but feel cheated somewhat. (Our relationship was a little rocky from the start) I have realized we can't and won't be together, and I'm okay with that. I do admit that I am a bit lonely and I miss having someone to care for and to care for me in a special way. But why do I keep reading these things about him? I've had another ex but I don't read anything about him.. well there's not much about him that I saved but I dont even find him worth thinking about (that relationship only lasted a month and I gained nothing out of it, just lost a friend..) But yeah, should I be doing this? Is this my way of my healing process? Do you think I'm still trying to hold onto him?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It means that you haven't fully got over what you and your x once had and I suggest that you keep the messages until you get over him or find a new man to take him out of you mind but here is the key. until you get over him save the messages but slow start forcing yourself to not look back at them anymore and soon you will have trained yourself to not keep dwelling on your past with him. and hey email me at ericsmith@yahoo.com and let me know what you think about my answer.
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It's possible that you are subconsciously trying to hold onto him, that you miss him. I'm going to give you the same advice that someone gave me, get rid of those conversations. When you look at those conversations old memories start to spark and you start to get really hurt.
About finding someone to care about you, you eventually will. You are probably young considering that you have only had two boyfriends, and only really one that lasted long. I would suggest that you take this time to enjoy being single and if you want maybe go out on a few dates, if possible. Sooner or later, you will get stronger and like I said you will meet someone who will make you happy.
For now, delete those old conversations between the two of you and learn from your past mistakes. Learn that when you get into another relationship, you should work on building your communication skills - the strongest relationships are built on communication.
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