Hi! I will answer any of your questions or problems, big or small and in complete confidence. I have had a lot of success in helping people in the past and hope I can help you too! Look forward to hearing from you soon!
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Member Since: December 8, 2004
Answers: 293
Last Update: June 12, 2005
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karenR
hailebop
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u gave me advice a while ago cuz i wanted 2 tell a guy i liked him. well, thx 2 ur advice, i told him and, even tho he didnt like me, im over him now!!!
just wanted 2 say thanks!!!
CKat (link)
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Oh, well thank you for telling me! I hope I helped and I'm glad you're over him! x
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is it safe to preform oral sex om a woman with genital herbes? (link)
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probably best not to especially if you have cracked lips, mouth ulcers or cold sores as then you will catch herpes on your mouth - large cold sores which are sore, cracked and bleed. Wait til she has taken her medication and it's gone away. Hope this helps
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I've been have very vivid dreams about an old flame for the past 6 or 8 months and its starting to drive me insane. The twist to this story is that we we're childhood sweethearts from the age of 8 to 14. I'm now 19(20 next week) and we haven't spoken since 8th grade graduation. I can't shake this feeling lately that I still have feelings for him. As innocent as out relationship was being infatuated with someone for that long isn't something to easily let go of. There are so many reason I can't explain that make me feel as though we are soulmates. I've westled with the decision of whether or not I should contact him but have decided against it. I know that part of my recent obsession with him is my loniness and depression. As much as do feel like he's my soulmate its likely we'll never see eachother again. At this point I'm more concerned with forgeting him and stopping the dreams that make me dread going to sleep at night. What can I do to get over him? (link)
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I don't think you should worry yourself too much at all. When we have no love interests we quite often go back to thinking about people we used to like and the more we think the more we picture them as being an ideal boyfriend/soulmate. If I were you I wouldn't worry about fancying him and thinking about him all the time - carry on thinking and dreaming and just dream up ideal storylines that make you feel great! If you want to contact him then go for it! I foyu were such good friends before then what's the harm? Just a friendly email asking what he's been up to and telling him what you've been up to. Maybe you've created this ideal person in your head and your scared about finding that he isn't in real life and it will burst your bubble?? Hope I have helped a little
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I like a boy who is such a cutie! Hes really sweet, nice, and funny. Those are all big plusses but the thing im not so sure about is him being total opposite. He smokes, hes a hornball but he wouldnt make me do anythign i dont want to. Im like the popular girl with a halo over my head. I know that he just wants to hook up with me becasue he even said so but how do i find out if he likes me or not? (link)
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Your the popular girl with the halo over your head but it's always the ones who seem like angels that are the naughty ones! If he is a hornball then he might just want to hook up with you. If I were you I would play quite hard to get. He obviously likes you because otherwise he wouldn't want to hook up with you in the first place but if I were you I would flirt with him but let him know that he can't get you as easily as the other girls!! hope this helps a little
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13/f I've liked this guy 4 a long time, but hes a year older than me. Since he's gonna go to a new school next year, I wanted to tell him how i feel. The problem is, i dont know how. i cant do it in his yearbook, cuz sum1 might read what i wrote. i think i should do it by e-mail, but i thought that was a turn-off for guys, but i dont know. Please help, because the end of school is on friday, and i want to tell him before than.
Please help! (link)
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Ok - you HAVE to let him know!!!! Email is ok or maybe even a text??? Just maybe be quite subtle and say that a bunch of you are going out and wondered if you fancied coming - be good to see you before you leave - or something. It's tricky. If you email him then perhaps say something like this:
Hi........(don't know his name)
Can't believe it's the end of school already - do you fancy meeting up at some point over the summer - would be good to see you before you leave x'
That way you're not directly telling him you fancy him (that would scare him off0 but you are hinting and you will get him interested in finding out if you do fancy him or not - Go on!!! Let me know how it goes!! x
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My boyfriend and I went on a date yesterday, and when we got home we started making out. After that he sat me on his lap and I felt something poking my butt, so im pretty sure I gave him a boner. I'm wondering how you would tell if you gave a guy a boner and what you should do if u did and dont want to go any further, but i dont just wanna ignor it. My boyfriend and I are really close, if that changes anything. (link)
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Yes it sounds like you gave him one. If you don't want to do anything about it then don't and ignore it. If you are happy making out and he hasn't asked you to do anything else then don't. If you are really close then he will understand and you can take things really slowly.
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Okay so I met this guy (we are both 16) and we hit it off. spent like 10 hours together he was totally flirting holding hands cuddling and he would just stare at me and would always sit next to me and he tried to kiss me and such.. (it was a church retreat. We were helpers lol for the little kids) so at the end of the night when its time to leave and we are right next to each other in the seat but my friend is between us and he got up and kept looking back at me and then he just left no good bye and didn’t ask for a number or anything! what does that mean? What happened? (link)
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He really fancies you! But because it was your friend sitting in between you he probably felt a bit harsh asking them to leave you alone for a bit. I think he was looking back in the hope that you would go over to him to say goodbye. Perhaps because you didn't he doesn't think you feel as strongly as he does. Will you see him again? Is there any way you can get his number? If you can get his number than send a text just saying it was good to see him the other day and sorry you didn't get a chance to say goodbye properly. Suggest you two meet up again and hit it off from there. He definitely likes you but I think the ball is in your court to make the next move and let him know you feel the same way.Good luck! Let me know how it goes!! And hope i have been of some help
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ok so i liked this kid ryan like 2 weeks ago, and then i stopped liking him, and now everyone keeps asking me if im mad at him or if i still like him. And tonight my guy friend told me if i was mad at him because they were playing basketball and ryan told him that he thinks i am, does this mean anything? (link)
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They probably think you are angry with him becuase one minute you are chatting and maybe flirting a little and the next you don't speak to him. Do you think that by not talking to him he will get the message that you don't fancy him? The best way to overcome this is first of all to let him know that you aren't mad at him. Either face to face or through his friend. You then need to make it obvious that you don't want a boyfriend (ie him) perhaps tell his friend to let him know that you really don't want a boyfrien right now and you were worried that by spending loads of time with this guy you would give off the wrong impression. Hope I have helped alittle
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ok im always nervouse and shy around my boyfriend im just not comfortable around him yet and hes shy all togehter so how do we break the ice to were it can just be fun and relaxed to hang around him. (link)
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perhaps because you think it might lead to something else? Just try hanging around together, going for walks or to the cinema and event hings like chatting on msn as then you don't have to be there in person. You are both obviously quite nervous so the more you concentrate on the friendship part first, the rest will come naturally. Hope this helps
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Just as a warning, this will be long. If you have a problem with that, skip on to the next question.
Okay. So my guy and I have been together about 18 months now, and it's been great up until awhile ago.
Now, my boyfriend and I used to have the exact same ideals about sex - we both thought oral was stupid and disgusting, and neither of us was really into the whole manual thing.
All of a sudden, he's asking me for oral all the time - I did that once and I told him I wasn't comfortable with it. He's even asking for "road head" which I always thought only assholes asked for and only sluts gave.
Does he think I'm a slut just because I've had sex?
I feel like he's been taking advantage of me lately and making me feel like a bad girlfriend. I know I'm not, though he makes me feel like it's my fault when we fight, and makes me feel like I'm the one that needs to change, when I believe now that it's him that needs to change.
I really do hope this is just a bump in the relationship - don't most people hit bumps when they've been together awhile?
We were such a great couple for so long, and then all of a sudden, he decided he wanted more sexual stuff than I'm willing and comfortable with giving him. Now, I can understand he may be a little sexually frustrated, as we haven't had sex in like a month, but I told him we'd have to wait a month (due to a medication I ended up on that conflicted with my birth control pill), and he was okay with it. Now he's suddenly not. I'm confused.
He used to be utterly romantic and sweet. Now he's turning into a complete ass.
I really want to ask him right now if he really loves me or he just enjoys fucking me. Recently, it seems like the latter.
We always said that sex was like the icing to a cake in this relationship. He claims this relationship is based on love, not lust, but I'm not so sure about that anymore.
I don't want to break up with him. I want him to realize what he's doing, and I want to fix this between us, hopefully before saturday. Saturday's his birthday, and I went to a lot of trouble to find him a present he wants this year. I'd rather not return it.
But mostly, I just want this to go back to normal. I was so happy with him before...
Help me out?
~Cali~ (link)
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Hi Cali,
It sounds like your boyfriend is more confused than anything. He just presumes that every girl gives head and every girl enjoys it. Well they don't. He is thinking that there is something wrong with him and is probably too shy to admit it. You have to let him know that you love him and that oral sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship. Every couple goes through stages like this in a relationship but it's up to you to help make it work out if you want it to. If it helps, ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have only done that once. What men don't realise as well is that girls quite often find giving head a more intimate thing to do which often comes the stage after having sex. He has to realise that just because you don't want to doesn't mean that you don't love him or think any less of him. He is probably got quite low self esteem at the moment because he just presumes that if he asks he gets. You could do something to surprise him. You could organise a candlelit meal in your room for him and get some massage oil. Gets some tips from magazines about techniques for massage, kissing and positions that you haven't done before and try them out. Not only will this make him feel special, he will understand that there's more to life than giving head and many more ways to have fun~!! good luck and i hope i have helped a little
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I know this is long but please don't skip it. Ok, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years and we've known each other for 4. I just had a baby by him. He's willing to help and he's been trying but the problem is my parents. They are extremely religious and they said that he could have nothing to do with the baby. I was 16 at the time I got pregnant and he was 20. I am now almost 18 and he's 23. My parents said that if he got involved at all with Christian, our son, then they would have him arrested for rape. They said that the only way he can get involved is if he comes and asks for "my hand in marriage" We're not in love though and it's not right to marry someone just because your parents want you to. We know that we made a mistake but we are trying to be responsible about it. But my parents are making it difficult. My father is always at work and my mom is sick now so things are tough around here. I wanted to call my bf and see if he could take christian until things got better or maybe we could work something out but my dad flipped out and said that if i did he would have him arrested. They also took my keys and I had to listen to a lecture about jesus to get them back. They said that they would rather put Christian up for adoption than have him go to his father. My question is can my bf get arrested for rape even though it was a while ago and I dont' want him to be? And also if they put him up for adoption wouldn't his father get rights to him anyways?
Please help me
*will rate high* (link)
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First of all, no your boyfriend can't get arrested for rape. He obviously didn't rape you and your parents are only saying this because they are trying to scare you. Even if they did try to have him arrested for rape, the police etc would never believe them because you are both still together and happy, you have a son together and you never said you were raped. Secondly, it is obvious that your parents are very religious and that what you are doing is against their beliefs. When you are 18 you are an adult and your parents do not have the right anymore to tell you what to do and what not to do. The more they interfere the more your relationship will suffer. I once gave advice to a girl in a similar situation as you are in. As soon as she was 18 she moved in with her baby, to a friends house. Before leaving she left a letter for her parents as she could not confront them face to face. She told them that just because they had their views, doesn't mean that she should follow in them too. This is the 21st century and it is not illegal to have a baby before you get married. By being like this she told them they were pushing her and the baby away and making her want to spend less time around them. She said she was staying with a friend until they realised that she is her own independant person and has a right to make her own decisions. By letting them know how you feel they will realise that you are not a child anymore. It takes a drastic thing like this for them to realise they can't control you anymore. What do you want? Do you want to move out? Do you want to move in with your boyfriend? Do you want to do as I recommended and stay with a friend for a couple of weeks? You have to think about what will make you happy and what will work out best for you, your baby and your boyfriend and not your parents. If you write the letter to your parents let them know that if you got married to your boyfriend you would be lying when you both took the vows because you wouldn't be meaning them. I hope I have helped a little and good luck x
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ok well recently i starting 2 get really close 2 my friend(gal) and starting 2 fancy her she said she loves me but i cant bring myself 2 tell her (link)
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Is that because you are worried about what her reaction could be? Do you think she feels the same way at all? If you are worried about telling her straight out then by doing certain body language when you are around her can let her know without telling her outright. When you are talking keep eye contact with her for longer than normal. If you are in a big place together like school, a party etc, look at her from across the room and when she catches your eye, keep looking at her for a little longer before looking away. Do you two have any mutual friends that you could ask whether she feels the same way? You could aslo try little thigs like slight body contact when you are around her like putting your hand on the small of her back as you walk past her. By seeing her reactions to what you do will give you an indication of what she is feeling. Perhaps even asking her if there is anyone she is interested in at the moment and see what she saya. I hope I have been of some help - keep me updated if you want and I can try and give you more advice if anything else happens or if u try any of the things i have said.
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Ok this guy really likes me. He asked me out today. I didnt want to hurt his feelings by sayin no so I said I dont know. And he started crying. I felt soo bad. What should i do?? He's 15/m and im 13/f. Please help. I rate high. (link)
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He was obviously really hurt that you didn't say yes, but that's not your fault. Next time you see him see if you can go over and talk to him. He might not want to talk to you because his ego will have been damaged but if you can just tell him that you are so flattered that he asked you out especially as he is older etc but that you really don't want a boyfriend at the moment because you have loads of stuff going on at the moment. As soon as he knows that it's not just because you don't want to go out with him it will make you both feel better and not make it awkward around eachother. If he doesn't want to talk to you then get his email or write him a note. The sooner you tell him this the less you will have to worry. Hope I have helped a little
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13/f
Ok well when I started going out with my boyfriend (about 2 months ago), my mom told me that she didn't want me kissing him, but only hugging him and holding hands. She said that she didn't think that I was old enough to be in the type of relationship in which you kissed in. Well, I felt I was ready, and so when my boyfriend asked me on IM if he could kiss me the next day, I said it would be okay. Well, he kissed me (it was like a one second kiss on the lips), and I have kissed him about 7 or 8 times since then everyday at the end of school. I don't know what to tell my mom, because she will probably eventually find out about it. If I tell her, however, I'm afraid that she won't let me go to the movies, dances, etc. with him, because she won't trust us together. It just doesn't feel right not telling her. So what should I do?
(link)
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Your mum is saying this because she is protective over you and is just worried. It's fine for you to kiss your boyfriend. It's you and him in this relationship not you, him and your mum. What you should do though is be private about it and not kiss in front of everyone or anyone who would tell your mum. You don't have to tell her you have been kissing. As long as you are comfortable with kissing and are doing it because you want to and not to get at your mum then you have no worries. Hope I have helped a little
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Female,16
The guy i like is really shy about girls, hes never had a gf before, and we are really good friends. ive liked him a long time, and i figured it was just time to tell him. I guess he really had no clue.. yesterday i talk to him alone after school, and said you know i like you and he was silent scuffing his feet and half smiling and he said THANK YOU.. tell me what is that suppose to mean? thank yOU!? and then he said wow this really caught me off guard i i.. and his friend walked by and siad lets go, i need a ride home, so hes said well i guess ill talk to you later and left...do you think maybe he jsut didnt know what to say, usually he'd say oh well lets jsut be friend or somthing like that but he said thank you, and its such a neutral comment... plus most people i know think he likes me.. so do you think maybe he was jsut caught off guard and didnt know what to say or what? (link)
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Well, you know he is shy already. If he was half smiling I think he was really glad you said that to him. If he didn't like what you were saying then he wouldn't have smiled. Over the next couple of days just act normally around him and don't say anything to him infront of his and your friends as that will get him shy again. Perhaps talk to him again soon when he is on his own and just say that you meant what you said the other day and you don't know how he feels but to let you know if he feels the same way. Don't wait for an answer, just say you'll catch him later and walk away. As long as you say this while talking as if you're making a passing comment then he won't get shy.As long as you are relaxed and not awkward around him the easier it will be for him to be more relaxed and less shy around you and therefore more open. I think he feels the same way but you have to give him time to be able to tell you. Hope I have helped a little
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ok so im dating this guy tom...we have only been dating for a few days now but he has met my parents and they love him...my entire family and even my brothers friends adore him... its so cute...well the day he met my family i also met his mother...well..she hates me...when i was around she seemed to like me just fine but tom called me like 2hrs after he left and he told me that his mom hates me and doesnt want him and i dating...like he said that he doesnt want us to break up because he realli likes me and stuff like that and of course i dont want us to break up either...i mean ive only met the woman once and shes messing up my relationship with her son already...i was realli polite and stuff when i met her and stuff and im realli not a bad person...im just a simple 16yr old girl...its like im sum whore or anything but she hates me...neither tom nor i kno why she hates me...what am i supposed to do?? (link)
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Ok, well if his mum doesn't want you around the house then it's best to do as she says. I would ask tom's brother to talk about you when he is around his mu and say stuuf like how nice you are etc and see how she reacts and tells him why she doesn't like you. Ask him to tell her, if she says she doesn't like you to him, that she has only met you once so how does she really know what you're like. Good luck
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Im 13/f and I like this guy in my class in my school, but hes a grade older than me. How can I get him to ask me out without doing the whole "be yourself" thing, because I did it and it didnt work.
P.S. Im NOT going 2 forget him for him not noticing the be yourself thing!!! (link)
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The best thing for you to do is not show him that you fancy him. By being at the right place at the right time can make all the difference. If he is in the library working, go in there and sit near him but pretend you haven't noticed him. Have you got any friends who know him and can introduce you to him? If so you should see if they can say cool things about you infront of him when you aren't there and things like that. The best thing is to get to know him first but you can also do a bit of detective work and find out the things he likes, where he hangs out etc.. It will be easier to talk to him if you have something in common and to talk about. I hope I have helped a little
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my best guy friend and i started liking eachother...we have this great relationship but then basically when it comes to like making out with him or anything i get all nervous... i want to do it but i dont want it to be awkward (were not going out as of now) is it ok to have this 'friend with benefits'? and how can i not be so nervous cuz if i really like him i dont want it to be weird when/if we go out (link)
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If you are really good friends and you think you might start go out with him at some point then can you tell him that whatever happens you want to take things slowly? This is the best way to take things especially if you are already good friends. So you say you are nervous, everyone thinks it's only the girl who gets nervous but it's not. He will be feeling just as nervous as you. If I were you I would take things really slowly. The best relationships are ones which build up gradually. Spend time together, go for walks, th the cinema, picnics or whatever - thast way you will get to know achother even better and become so comfortable around eachother that things will come naturally. Once it comes to the point when you are ready to make out it will be nerve-wracking to begin with but as soon as it starts everything will come naturally I promise. I hoped I have helped a little!
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how do i get over a person i really really love ? (link)
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By trying to stay out of their way for a bit. Ask your friends to help by keeping you occupied - organise a night in with your friends where you can watch movies, go shopping with them etc. I know its difficult to understand but it will get easier i promise - every day is a step towards getting over it.
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I really appreciate anyone who decides to read this and help me, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.
I've been in a relationship, on and off with a boy for two years now - I'm just about to turn 18, while he's just about to turn twenty. For most of our being together our relationship has been really unstable, him always unsure if he wanted to be with me. I look back at myself and wonder why I spent so many nights worrying and letting myself become so attached.
We had what was supposed to be our 'final breakup' right around New Year's eve. I was hurt, and we were split for a little over a month, and started talking again. Not too long after, we started actually becoming connected in all of the ways we hadn't been before. To be honest, right now I'd have to say that he's probably my best friend, and we share everything with eachother. This is probably the best our relationship has ever been, and I should be loving every minute of it.
The problem? While we were split, I got to know a friend of his, *Jeffery, really well. This is someone who has betrayed my boyfriend in the past, there are shaky feelings between them although they still see eachother occasionally. I got to know Jefferey better and better and really began to like him, and him me. I stopped talking to him for the most part because I was afraid that it would hurt my boyfriend, although we were not together at the time. After a short time I thought that I made a mistake, but by then me and my (then ex-)boyfriend had started to talk again. My boyfriend and I have been together since.
Lately, me and Jefferey have been seeing a lot of eachother through mutual friends. We still have feelings for eachother, and it has been driving me crazy. While things are going really well in my relationship with my boyfriend, I feel like I will always have this question in the back of my mind, "what if". Recently me and Jeffery were hanging out together, and he tried to kiss me. I didn't let him, and told him we shouldn't hang out anymore unless I break it off with my boyfriend. I feel like this was a horrible mistake, but I feel very insecure about breaking things off with my boyfriend, who has been so great to me during all of this. We have no secrets from eachother, and I did not cheat on him. I think that Jeffery might have 'given up' on trying to be with me, and I feel a little defeated and negative about myself. I feel like I should have been more decisive, but I don't know what to think. I wish I had gotten to know Jeffery more while I was single.
Thanks to anyone who read this long thing, and thanks doubly to anyone who offers advice. My mind is a mess over this.
(link)
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You have to think about what is best for you and also the outcomes of what might happen depending on what you choose to do. You said your boyfriend and you had an unstable relationship to start with but now its ok - do you think it will ever go back to being unstable again? If you definitely think it will then think about how miserable he made you back then and how there is no way you want him to make you feel that way again. You deserve more in a relationship than always feeling unstable and insecure about it - relationships aren't about that.
Secondly, if you really think you have a future with this other guy then go for it but take things very slowly. You said he betrayed your boyfriend - in what way? Could he betray you like he betrayed your boyfriend?
You have to remember that if you split up with your boyfriend and then start seeing this guy immediately then your boyfriend will not take it well. If you split up with your boyfriend and want a relationship with this other guy then just play at being friends first and if you are definite you want to take things further then it might be an idea to talk to your boyfriend about it first instead of him having to find out from someone else. I hope i have helped a little and good luck
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