Hello. I like to solve problems and so an advice column seemed natural. I'll do my best to help you if you send me a question.
Member Since: June 16, 2005
Answers: 114
Last Update: May 3, 2007
Visitors: 9381
Main Categories:
Etiquette
Love Life
General Sex Questions
View All
|
| |
OKay so there is this guy that REALLY like and i am pretty sure that he feels the same.....The only problem is that for soome reason we are shy around eachother(we both arent usually shy people) and everyone is teling me to go for it.. even my teachers!!! and i want to but idk whats stopping me...... can anyone help me?? I know its a hard question to answer but i would really appreciate it...
Thanx (link)
|
Because asking people out is scary and everyone telling you to just go for it probably isn't helping. It probably isn't helping that you REALLY like him instead of kind of liking him.
Also as a girl, you probably have it in your subconcious that HE should be the one to make the first move.
Both me and my boyfriend are the loudest people you will ever meet. Although we liked each other upon 1st meeting, it took forever for him to ask me out and way longer for him to kiss me. If I had made the first move, we would have gotten together a lot sooner and spared ourselves a lot of conversations with awkward silences.
My good advice is just go for it.
My bad advice is hide behind a telephone or computer and tell him.
Good luck. All you need to do is blurt out the words. It'll take a couple seconds and then the pain of not knowing will be over with.
|
im 15/f/ny to make a long long story short, theres this guy who i liked and then i didnt like him and when i didnt he asked me out and i said no but then when i realized when i couldnt have him i wanted him and then i fell in love. we were getting to be close friends and then he had no choice and had to move to florida which is 1300 miles away from ny =[ i havent seen him in 7 months but i talk to him online and myspace ect. hes coming back to visit in the summer. i really wanna be with him but im afriad it wont work out =[ what shoujld i do!? any suggestions or help i can get! please help me
signed helpless (link)
|
You are trying to keep your heart a spotless vessel. You are forgetting that it was made to hold something.
Love is fucking scary. It sucks being so vulnerable. But you will never experience the good aspects unless you are open to them. If your relationship is so strong, it should be able to grow into something more or even survive a break up.
|
|
Ok Well i like the boy (the same one) and he still has a girlfriend! but yesterdday we were talking on the phone b/c we are still very good friends and he was like so wanna come out side tomorrow?? b/c i think you should! then i asked him why and he said b/c i want my KISS!!! i was like whay you have a g/f and he said yeah i no!!!! so i dont no if i should kiss him or not???!!!?!?!?!?!?!???!!!!!! please HELP!!!!!!! (link)
|
No, you shouldn't. It will end in nothing but heartache for you, his girlfriend, or both of you.
Besides, this guy sounds like a skeeze. You can do better.
|
|
I have a boyfriend and we have been together for almost 6 months now. I moved away from him a few months ago. We promised that we would still be together even tho I live in Central America while he still lives in Canada. I have been away from him for 4 months now! I will be moving back to Canada in 2 months. We both knew that I would only be gone for 6 months. Thats why we chose to stay together! I know he isnt cheating on me or doing anything that would hurt me because he isnt that kind of person. I really love him and I dont want to lose him, but i feel that I am. We have been pretty steady for the last 6 months of us being together but lately things havent been going to well. We havent talked him weeks and if we do it isnt much of a conversation because we are not around each other and we do not see what each of us is doing. We have talked about everything for the last 4 months. Thats all we have done is talk. So now we have nothing to talk about. We both try to start conversations but they die so quickly. It makes me really sad. What should I do? I really like him and I dont want things to end between us, I know he doesnt either. Please help! (link)
| |
Relationships hit lulls even if you see each other everyday. When you get back you will be able to hang out, then you will have shared experiences to talk about. Long distance relationships are rough. You guys will reconnect.
|
|
I like my boyfriend a lot but he seems very apathetic about the relationship to the point where I'm craving affectionate touch, etc. What should I do? (link)
| |
Make the first move. He might not be used to being so affectionate. He will never know that you want him to be unless you speak up or do something about it.
|
|
How can you tell if someone your dating is just in the relationship to get sex? (link)
| |
Do you guys ever do anything besides have sex? Take sex out of the relationship for awhile. That will pretty much tell you everything you need to know.
|
|
when kissing a boy, what should you wear.. like lip gloss, or chapstick, or nothing? like i have kissed before, but i never know what would be the least akward thing. (link)
| |
Don't use anything on your lips, unless your lips are actually chapped. However you may want to use mints (just in case).
|
|
Im 16/F and ive never been kissed. I'm not a loser..i have a lot of guy and girl friends but i just have never made out with anyone. Is this bad? (link)
| |
No it is not. Please don't lower your standards should a make out opportunity arise. My best friend didn't make out with anyone until she was 18. She is not a loser. She actually regrets the person she made out with because desperation made her lower her standards.
|
how can i tell whether or not my bf is using me, or if all the kissing & stuff is out of affection? weve been together 5 months, and the farthest its gone is like fingerin n stuff, and thats the most experience for either of his... but still.. i mean maybe im just afraid of being used? he doesnt pressure me into anything...
16-f (link)
|
Well, there are 2 possibilities:
1. He is.
2. It is all in your head.
I think I will just deal with the second one since there is no way for me to know what your boyfriend is thinking and because the second one is my specialty as far as advice goes.
Do you guys ever just hang out? I don't mean kissing, or stuff. I mean doing nothing but just giggling together and enjoying each other as friends? It is really amazing how much a night like that can cement a relationship. Share some interests. If he is a good pal, chances are you guys will get along better, and you won't be so worried about him using you.
Also, if he was really out to just use somebody, he could find someone sluttier and get her in the sack in under 5 months.
I hope it all works out. Tell him if he breaks your heart, anonymous advice giver will break his face.
|
|
I'm 17 and i have had the same boyfriend for 2 yrs. and dont get me wrong i love him with my whole life. but yesterday i went to pick him up at his dads(2 1/2) hours away. he had been gone fri.-sun. and when we got back to my house we were just sittin watchin tv and i knew he had a project to finish for school so he asked me later if he could use my computer and he said yes. but after he came back down i had already fallen asleep and he woke me up and said bye in a kinda pissed of tone than gave me a kiss. this morning he called and he noticed what time it was and shouted "Fuck" and hung up? so i didnt call him back. well at school i kind of avoided him and then after school i went to his house and he was fine and everything????? he gets pissed over little things. and i dont know what to do...i feel childish avoiding him but i've talked about it to him and (you know how guys are) it always turns out to be my fault some how, or he always comes back at me with some way i get mad at him. he can always manipulate me into thinkin it really was my fault but then i think about it and then i realize it really isnt. someone please help me i cant take it any more. and please dont suggest breaking up with him or talking to him it doesnt work...and if i can talk to him help me think of something to say to him to make him realize what hes doing.(this sort of thing happens all of the time) (link)
|
Well you took away some options. Next time he gets angry, calmly tell him that you love him and that you really don't want to fight about ____ and that you will talk to him when he calms down.
I have crazy and manipulative tendencies and during fits of whatever, best thing to do is to wait for me to calm down.
Good luck.
|
ok.. like.. i have a boyfriend and all. we have not kissed yet.. but he keeps on telling me online that he wants to... so when i go on the dates with him im always nervous and cautious and stuff. i mean i never kissed anyone before. and i don't now how to do it .. like i dun want to just like stay there frozen... like.. when you normally get your first kiss like even if you don't know how like do you just do it.. or.. cuz i am like really nervous and stuff...
im so confused
Rissa
x0x0x0x....
im 13 (link)
|
Seriously, you do not have to have any idea what you are doing. People with experience can be awful kissers. The fact it is your first time really doesn't matter as much as you think.
Just pay attention to what the other person is doing and mimic it. Make sure your breath is okay too.
|
|
16/f. I'm really into a guy at my school, and we're friends and we chat all the time, talk on the phone and online, and whatever. He likes me too, and we've considered dating. The only problem is, he's pretty overweight. Now, I wouldn't care, I don't just look for visual appeal in a person. But I'm really active, I love to play tennis and swim, and I do a lot of biking and jogging. It would be really nice if a guy that I dated would be able to do all of those things with me, and since he's not an active person, I don't know if we'd be able to. We're both really into European history, and we love to read and do those Cryptoquips in the newspaper, and I have a really good time hanging out with him. But are we compatible enough to build a relationship on? (link)
|
In any relationship, it is important to have separate interests. Use active-time as you-time. You and him can still have a very fulfilling relationship.
I think you should give it a go.
|
i go out with this kid names paul.. and he smokes weed and i dont like the fact that he dosee and hes 3 years older then me and its weird.. and i dont wanna breakup wiht him jus for that but i dont know what i wanna do right now..? what do you think i should do? pleasee help
i ratee welll! *♥hailey♥* (link)
|
If he makes you uncomfortable, break up with him. I don't have all the facts but it doesn't sound like you are happy with him.
Take care,
AAG
|
ok i like this boy and i have probably talked to him 6 times in a year. i have liked him for 2 years now and lots of people have told him i liked him but he thought they were lying so he didnt do anything about it. i just talked to him today about his classes and and we had our laughs but other than that how do i become more than just someone he see everyday and only talk to 6 times a year. i just want to be his friend first but i get really nervous and then i dont talk to him. like i said i dont have to be his girlfried just someone he would like to talk to or someone he can trust! please help!
thanks!
i rate high for good answers! (link)
|
If you know any of his interests, talk about those with him more. If he likes a band that you haven't heard of, download some of their songs and talk about them with him the next day. Loan him a book or something. Ask for help with his favorite subject. Talk about movies. Just make it so you will have something to talk to him about.
Don't be afraid of putting yourself out there a bit more. He will never believe that you like him if you guys only talk 6 times a year.
|
Can anyone give me any tips on flirting but nothing too bold because I am quite shy.
will rate high for good answers. (link)
|
I know where you are coming from. I am still looking for the magic way for guys to want me without me having to do a damn thing. But sadly we live in a world where you have to give signals.
Smile. Talk about mutual interests. Just make yourself open. If he is interested he will be too. Things will progress from there.
|
|
wut r the things that girls like about guys? and wut things should we give them as gifts? Im in despate need of help! I just dont understand girls! (link)
|
First off, don't generalize. No two girls are the same. There is no answer that would make you irresistable to every female on the planet.
Be courteous. Open doors for them. Carry things for them if they look like they need help. These are basic things that a lot of guys overlook.
Compliment her (sincerely). Sincerity is IMPORTANT. Mean it. Don't tell her she looks hot. Use some adjective that makes it sound like you want more than just getting in her pants.
If you listen to her and pay attention, you should know what she would like. Listening is important as well.
|
|
Hey there ♥ well im not really into stereotypes but basically, my boyfriend is punk, along with his friends. and i am not really preppy or punk or anything, i am just me. but i am friends with his friends and his friends are in a punk band and my boyfriend said he really wants me to go, and so do his friends. the problem is i dont want to wear something stupid, or "slutty" looking and i dont want people to think " why is she here?" so what could i wear.. i have long platinum blonde hair with lots of pink and auburn in it. and i am 5'4 and average with slightly curvey body but the problem is i cant hide my boobs and i dont want people to automatically think im slutty=/... what could i wear or put on for makeup and how should i do the hair? thanksss (link)
|
T-shirt or tank top, jeans, and sensible shoes.
I have been to many a punk show. Looking good does not matter. You will be jumping around and sweaty. Make-up will be sweat off. Shoes will be stepped on.
I understand that since it is your boyfriend will be there you want to impress him, but in my experience, punk guys are a lot more impressed with a girl who will run into the mosh pit and hold her own. And there is no way in hell a girl should be in a mosh pit and have to worry about how she looks.
Good luck. Inbox me with any further questions.
Take Care,
AAG
|
|
me and this guy almost went out about 7 months ago and i basically got myheart broken. then about 2 weeks ago he e-mailed me saying he was sorry for leading me on and stuff and he wants to prove to me that hes nicer then that. so i emailed him back bascially saying don't worry about it and he'll have to prove it to me. so he said he was going to camp for a week but then when he gets back we'll hang out for sure. well hes been back for 2 days now and he hasn't IMed me or anything and i sent him an email about this drink he told me about saying it was good and he was like haha yeah thats why i love it. so yeah, should i bring up that we should hang out? i'm nervous to IM him or bring it up, especially since he isn't too shy of a guy and i think he woulda brought it up if he wanted to. i leave on thursday and won't be back for 2 weeks so time is pretty limited. what should i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
| |
Send a friendly email saying when you will be leaving. If that is too direct send it to him and several other people so he will know what is happening but won't think you are necessarily reminding him (although it will).
|
|
I talk to this other boy now hes 14 and we talk mostly on the computer. like the beginning of this month he iMed me and was like come over an said he likes me and he was gonna ask me out but he thought i was still in love with the boy i mentioned last time, so he waited. im not sure if he is for real tho bc hes got that reputation of being a player. so ive been to his house a couple times but whenever i go over there he wants me to give him head, or have sex. he says he loves me, and im his girl. i dont know wether to belive him or not. should i? (link)
| |
I doubt he loves you. Guys will say anything to get you to have sex with them. If he really loved you he would be cooler about you not having sex with him.
|
Are romantic fantasies a bad thing? In the 6th grade, (I'm going to 7th I just turned 13 in late may.) kids were "going out." I thought it was silly and immature, (and absolutely hilarious to watch) especially because they took their relationships so seriously and thought they were "in love". But the worst part of it is that I (in my most private of thoughts) sometimes get romantic fantasies that are equally if not more ridiculous! And I acually enjoy them. I try to avoid them because they're so ludicrous, but I can't. omg I'm soooooooooooo embarassed. Am I equally as silly as them? Am I judging them unfairly? Is this normal for 13-year-old? It would be really nice if someone could give me some info!!!
x0x0
♥ Anneliese ♥ (link)
|
You are a realist. That is good. You are way ahead of most people your age.
As for the romantic fantasies, you are completely normal. Everyone (at least everyone without a penis) does it. It is in our genetic make-up.
You have a good head on your shoulders. Don't stress over silly fantasies. You are bright enough to separate fantasy and reality and if you slip up, you are no worse than the rest of us.
|
|