Hello, Everyone. I'm here in the interest of giving non-biased, practical and creative advice. I have a special interest for relationships and people from all walks of life. I am considering a career in life coaching and hope I can be of help to those seeking a different perspective to their situations and issues. Please do not hesitate to contact me; no valid question will be dismissed or considered taboo.
Kindest Regards,
Anne Nonimous
Gender: Female
Location: Central Ohio
Occupation: Assistant Manager/Optician
Age: 24
AIM: BabeMarley
Member Since: September 4, 2005
Answers: 50
Last Update: December 15, 2005
Visitors: 5926
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Love Life
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When it comes to guys I always rush things. After that, one of two things happens:
One:
I find out that the guy is nothing like I expected. Most of the time it just turn out that he's a immature pervert and his charm and humor are an act. I don't take time to REALLY get to know a guy so I don't find out how they really are until we're close. After that, I completely loose interest (duh) and break it off with them.
Two:
It gets too serious and they are too in to me. It freaks me out because I either won't be ready for it or I won't want it. I just want to date and have fun. Nothing too serious that makes me want to "think of the future" with him. I guess me rushing things makes the guy think that I do want that? So again, I then break it off.
I always find myself in one of the two situations and after a month or so (most of the time less) I'm guyless and moving on to another one. Most of my friends know this about me and lecture me about it all the time but I have no idea how to fix it. I know it happens but I don't know how to keep it from happening.
It's like a routine for me. Meet a guy, go out, break up after a few weeks (because of the above said reasons), and meet another. How can I keep this from always happening?
(link)
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Hi There. I think the worst things about relationships is that eventually they all come to an end. If you finally find the one, the idea is to get married and stay with your soul mate, right? So it takes some shopping around to find the guy you're looking for.
I'm not sure that relationships you're not satisfied with are ending abruptly. It sucks if you're stuck in a cycle like this, but it shows you have self confidence to assert yourself in a situation where you aren't happy. There's nothing sadder than the 'I can't do any better than him' syndrome so give yourself some credit that you're smart enough to move past guys that can't fulfill your desires.
When it comes to the individual problems, I think there are a couple of things to consider:
To the problem where boys are immature perverts, sometimes you have to dig a little with guys. I'm going on a limb here and assuming you're on the younger side, and guys in their teens and twenties can put on quite an act because they are self conscious or uncomfortable with letting you know how they really feel and what's on their mind. So they play immature games and put on a show because that's what they think you want to see. Now I'm not saying it's okay for some guy to get fresh with you or act like a jerk. All I'm saying is sometimes you have to spend some quality time with a guy to find out what's going on in that head of his.
With the problem of guys wanting to rush your relationships, I think it's important to be upfront about your expectations. Let him know you don't want something serious. If he has half a braincell he will respect your boundaries. If things are meant to work out then it will happen naturally and you won't feel like you're missing out on anything making a commitment.
Best of luck, and just have fun and let things happen as they will.
Anne Nonimous
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ok. well im a girl. im 14. and i wanna know how do you know when your bi, because...i think i am. cause i like girls and guys. but i dont know. cause i like guys a lil more. but im craving to make out with a girl. cause i never have. and anyways. please help me!! (link)
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Hi There. It's common to feel confused about sex and sexuality at your age. Your hormones are churning, your body is changing, you're experimenting with things you've never tried before.
I think almost everyone has curiosity about members of the same sex in a sexual way at one time or another. There's nothing wrong with having these feelings or even acting upon them.
I had a similar phase when I was young, and I kissed a couple of girls when I was in high school. I had fun, and I liked it, but I decided it was just a phase and I'm only attracted to men.
To me, true bisexuality is a question of whether or not you could fall in LOVE, and have a real relationship with either a man or a woman. Sex is significant but real intimacy comes through a lot more than just physical contact. I just couldn't picture myself having a woman as a life partner, and so even though I've experimented I wouldn't consider myself bisexual.
My advice is to follow your feeilngs and let things happen naturally. If you decide chicks are one of the flavors you like, then great. And if not, you're no worse for the wear for hitting on one of them.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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As stated in my profile. I have been told that I give good advice but I cant take my own.
*Well I've been with my Boyfriend for awhile now, and we are completly happy. He calls me each and everyday and tells me he loves me. And its only every so often that we go a day without seeing each other. I love him to death, i really do.
So lately I've been telling him I want to be with him for a very long time, and he always grabs my hand and smiles and says we have a long time left together babe.
Well at a young age I was rapped by an older guy and then, I actually gave another guy a chance and slept with him and then he cheated on me and broke up with me because I was too insecure.
And this is the Second guy since the incident that I've slept with and he's been there and loved me and hasnt giving me a reason to doubt him. But it's like Im scared of losing the love of my life. I swear every man that I've every loved I've lost...My dad died when i was 13!
Well today I was quiet and he looked me in the eyes and asked me what was wrong and i got all teary eyed and said I dont want to lose you...and he was quiet and said dont think that way i love you and only you and dont want anyone else, dont think your going to lose me we've still got along time together...well you think that would make me feel better right? Well it didnt, im still iffy....
We are leaving to go to mexico tomorrow with my family for about 4 days and then December 18 we are leaving to New Hampshire to stay with his family for two weeks...so i know he is pretty serious about me but Im still scared...i dont know what it is i trust him to death but idk....
-I'm not looking for the answer of: Don't think of him as all the other relationships. Or dont freak out about him, dont be so insecure it'll be okay...i need some serious advice...-
please help* (link)
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Hi There. I'm not sure if I entirely understand the kind of answer you're looking for. It seems like while you praise your boyfriend and say how much you love him desperately, you also pick him apart and are looking for the wrong. You can't spend your relationship anticipating some sort of inevitable demise. That ALONE could be enough to end it.
This guy doesn't seem to have shown you any sign that he's trying to bolt. Keep an open communication with him. Ask him if he is happy. Ask him if there is anything he would like to be different. But when you get hysterical and start accusing him of things like "I know you're going to leave me or cheat on me" you're pushing him away. There are people that push away to avoid being dissapointed or abandoned. If you choose to live your life like this, it will only lead to more loneliness.
Love is a gamble. You take a chance, you invest your time, you give your emotion. With almost every relationship there is pain and loss to some degree. And there are also relationships and companionship and memories.
Don't condemn this guy to being another jerk in your life before he even gets the chance. Let him show you there are people out there that are worth taking a chance on.
Best of Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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hiii.
kay well. Im 14 and im a girl. Boys are so inmature now a days. All the guys I go out with are not good boyfriends. All they say to me is " your hot" And I really want a really long good relationship. I know thats not really possible at my age but i see it all the time. I want a guy who loves me for me and does all those cute little sweet things. Ive had a couple in the past like that but they turned out to be ass holes.
Why cant I find that type of guy? (link)
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Hi There. Maybe you should consider the kind of things you've been looking for in a guy. Do you tend to date guys that are popular and attractive?
If being in a relationship with a caring guy is what you're looking for, you need to look for a guy who wants to spend time with you, and compliments you on things that are deeper than the fact you're cute, too. That means sometimes looking outside of the box of only the hottest guys at school.
I bet there's a guy that you're friends with right now that would make a great boyfriend that you've never looked at that way. Maybe you could give someone that you KNOW to be a good friend a chance... hopefully you won't get burned.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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This guy that I used to sort of have a crush on lately has been showing some undesirable qualities. Well me and my friend went to have lunch at his cafe that he's a chef and owner of. We were sitting down having our lunch and then he started talking really loudly about his friend that owns a porn shop. Then he told us that his friend had caught a guy stealing a pussy in a box and that he tackled him. Then he empasized once again that is was a PUSSY IN A BOX, and laughed.
Now remember, me and my friend were in the middle of eating our lunch when he started talking about this. We never said anything to him, but after we left I told her I thought what he did was in bad taste and she agreed with me.
I'm sort of losing interest in this guy now. I think what he told us was something he should have said outside of his business, and maybe he should have told his guy friends instead of two woman. Were no prudes but really there is a time and place.
Does anyone else think what he did was uncalled for? (link)
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It seems to me like you got a little glimpse of what this guy is like when he's with his friends/not trying to impress someone. If you're offended by his being crass I'd assume you're going to find more discoveries along this line in the future.
There are a million guys out there. No reason to settle for anything less than desirable. Maybe you can find someone who speaks the language of common courtesy and the art of being polite.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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Hey.
I had a serious question because I'm starting to feel all of these strange feelings. I'm 16/f.
I met this boy a couple months back & ever since have been completely happy. I've seriously never felt like this around anyone before. I wake up every morning just wishing that I was with him. & I try to spend every waking hour I can with him. I'm never usually like this, around boyfriends usually I'm shy & try to spend as little time as possible. But with him it's completely different.
I love talking to him, I love being with him, I love who I am around him. I was just wondering, does this seem like love?
Plus, usually with my relationships I wake up every morning thinking, "Why am I dating him? he's such a waste!" But I haven't had one negative feeling about him ever since I met him. He's so great.
So yeah, does this seem like love? Thanks lovelys. (link)
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I think there are more than one kind of love. To me, true love is something that develops slowly over time.
It seems you're in the beginning phases of love. Maybe you could call it infatuation. Enjoy it, but just remember that the faster you two become inseperable, the faster the "shiny new" feeling wears away.
There's something to be said for leaving him wanting more...
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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my boyfriend of over a year and a half recently broke up with me/ decided we should take a break because he was confused about how he was feeling and he wanted a break from being tied down. it was really sudden and it confuses me. he still says he loves me from time to time so that kind of give sme hope that maybe this isn't over for good. do you think he just needs some time without me to see what our relationship was worth? or what? does he jus tneed to be single for a while. Everoyne tells me when loves for real it lasts froever and we both know it was as real as possible.. so do you think he will come back? he neve rreally wants to talk about the situation either but what can i do to convince him to come back or let him know what we're worth? help plz thank you will rate hihgh (link)
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Hi There. I think that instead of sitting at home wondering what he's up to, you should take this opportunity and get out there! Maybe you should take a break from being tied down, too. It's healthy to meet new people. Whether or not you decide to date someone new, or get back together with your ex, it will be a growing experience for you. It will give you a better perspective of what you want in a boyfriend, and a better idea of whether or not your boyfriend fulfills that or if you should get to know someone new. If you two are meant to be, you'll find eachother again. Give him his space... and enjoy yours as well.
Good Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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14/female
ok like i reallly hate my life. But i live in a semi good neighborhood with a good famliy (mom, dad and sister) in a good house and everything but like nothing ever goes my way. Like i dont think im that pretty.. im 14 and only had 1 boyfriend (which only lasted 2 weeks ) and all my other friends have had manyy boyfriends and like all my friends that are girls are prettier than me in my opinion. and i dont really have a bestfriend. i used to but now someone else is her bestfriend. So now i just have like friends, but only like 4 really close friends. I'm naturally a very nice person.. but you know what they say: nice people finish last. Also, im a bit of a pushover. People sometimes just "walk all over me" and i cant really stand up for myself. I am very self-conscious about myself and im not that confident.
But then i think about the poor people or homeless people who probably have 20 times worse life than me and it makes me feel bad that i complain about my life when i should be thankful. So my question.. do you think my life is good or bad? is there anything i can do to improve my life? or should i be thankful instead? (link)
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Hi There. I don't know if this is going to sound too "deep", but my father once gave me some really good advice:
You are completely responsible for your own happiness or unhappiness. It is a conscious decision.
Life is what you make of it.
You have money. Some people have none.
You have friends. Some people are all alone.
You have kindness. Some people only know hatred.
I could go on and on. Unfortunately, people such as yourself usually have to have something really bad happen to them in order to appreciate the good in their lives. Try skipping the tragedy and try looking at the world around you in a different way. If things don't start to look up, at the very least you're not going to be a teenager forever and things are bound to look up.
I hope I didn't sound too harsh. I'm not trying to be rude. I'm just trying to make the point that your life will NEVER be all good or bad. But your attitude towards it can always be changed.
Good Luck,
Anne Nonimo
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i have a friend who ive known for 2 years, we've dated on and off through out those two years, i love him too, but there wont be anymore relationship because he's moving to another state.. his sweet 16 is on the 19th.. which is why i need to get something special for him, does anyone have any cool ideas, cuz i cant think of anything, i can spend up to like $50 maybe a little more, but not a lot
**Thank you to anyone who gives me ideas**
*it needs to be really special too*
(link)
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I think a really awesome gift for someone in your position is this:
-A nice photo frame with a picture of the two of you
-A pre-paid phone card for long distance, telling him to call you anytime
I think this is a nice way to give him something meaningful that he can keep, and also telling him that you want to keep in touch after he moves away.
I like making mixed CD's for poeple too, but sometimes it's hard to tell exactly what they like, and when you make sort of a "love mix" then you listen to it again and say "wow, I sound like a big SAP". It's hard to do a mixed love mix without sounding overkill or cheesy.
Good Luck... and I'm sure anything you buy for him will be thoughtful and he'll appreciate it.
Anne Nonimous
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what does it mean WHEN A GIRL SMILES AT ME? when we're walking past each other, and we make eye contact, and she gives me that little smile, you all know the one. does it mean:
1. she thinks i'm cute
2. she thinks i'm hott
3. she wants to talk to me
4. she wants to kiss me
5. she wants to do dirty things to me
6. other
come on ladies, i need to know what you're thinking. i have a pic on my profile, if it helps. (i think it will). (link)
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Dude I think you're overthinking this.
Female smiles at you:
Smile back.
Repeat.
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I have been dating this man for almost 2 yrs. We met on the internet and he was just getting out of a bad divorce. We were dating for almost 3 months and he left me. He said its not me its him and he had some things to clear out of his head. I was broken hearted but I understood. 2 weeks later we got back together and 2 weeks later he left-still confused-i still understood. 3 months passed and i missed him so and we started talking again-we got back together. He sold his house and moved in with me and my 2 children. He has also has a son. Things were very good and in April he asked me to marry him-of course i accepted. Ii was planning the weeding for 2007 and he moved it up to 2006. I was ecstatic so i was planning our wedding. There were times when we argued and yes i take blame for some of them. The last argument we had was b/c of the internet and things i found him going on. Well he kept saying it wasnt him and he did not look that stuff up-cookies did it--whatever. Well things escalated from there and one day he said he cant do this any more its not me its him,he doesnt want to be engaged or get married or be with anyone and he left. I was never engaged before so of course i will be all excited. He was married for 10 yrs and yes its scary for him,but why did he leave? The week he left he got distant from me and i knew something was wrong but i didnt think he was going to leave for a 3rd time. He moved up to his parents like 10 minutes from my house. I still talk to him and off and on he comes over. I miss him so much and ask him to come home--but he says its not that easy it was hard to leave he cant just come back.I understand that kind of but if he loves me why is he not coming back? what does he need to think about? I miss him so much but he wont tell me he misses me unless i ask-or he wont tell me he loves me-sometimes he does when i say it other times he says "I know". I am so confused and i know i need to let him go and let him be but it is so hard. What do I do?He knows i want him to come home,he knows i love him,he klnows we can move as slow as we need to we dont need to rush,but yet he wont come back. What can I do? Please help.
thank you
27yr old female (link)
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Hi There. I'm sorry to hear about your angst. I'm currently going through a similar situation so I thought I'd share my two cents.
I'm dating an older man who was with his ex for 10 years, married for about 7. They have a daughter. I have no children. We met through mutual friends and started dating about a year after they split up. We have been living together for a little over a year now. Things have not been easy to say the least.
My beau and his ex are truly seperated, but still married on paper. This is a huge underlying issue in our relationship. I recently gave him the ultimatum that he has until the end of the year to file divorce papers with her or I am moving out and leaving him.
I truly believe him when he states he would never get back together with her (his ex is a raging alchoholic), and yet it seems my commitment and excitement about getting married and starting a new future and family seem greater than his. In order for us to work out, we are going to need to meet somewhere in the middle.
I think that for my guy it's intimidating and difficult to invest so much when you have worked so hard and taken such a big loss. I don't know what the situation was when your guy and his ex split, but my guy walked away with the clothes on his back. He lost 10 years, a house, two cars, and being with his child every day. That's HUGE. It was basically his entire life.
Maybe your guy is having some of the same anxieties. It is difficult for you and me to understand being that we have never been married before. Long term/Live in relationships are definitely significant but I think marriage takes that investment one step further when you commit to a partner for "life". Seeing that promise fail has to be a huge emotional loss for him.
First, I think he is going to need time to move past this divorce. It's impossible to just immediately put this huge situation behind him and jump into another marriage with you. He needs time to deal with his loss and gain his identity back.
The question is, should you sit idly by and wait for him to come around and be ready? It's basically going to come down to whether or not he is fulfilling your needs, despite his best intentions. "I love you" is not enough... if you want to get married and start a family to be happy and he is not going to provide this for you, you need to find someone who will.
I know it is difficult to do this, but I would suggest giving him space. He may come to the realization that he is being selfish and needs to let you go because he DOES care about you, and cannot make you happy at this time. Or, he may realize that he is in fact ready to commit to you and come back. What would be worst in my eyes is for him to keep you at arm's length the way he is, and yet still promise the future to you and tell you he loves you.
Try to put your immediate loneliness and affection for him aside and look at the bigger picture. In the end, him simply "being there" is not going to be enough. You've got to decide if this guy can step up to the responsibility of being your one and only for the rest of your life, or if he simply cannot meet your needs because you two are in different stages of your lives with priorities that do not coincide.
I wish you the best of luck.
Anne Nonimous
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Why is it that all the questions on here are about relationship problems? Don't people realize theres more to life then the opposite sex?
Anyway, I actually do have a question. ha.
17/F ... college next year!
I was wondering what everyones take on college is? I think I'm going to look for an all girls college. Are there many around? Does anyone know of any good ones? If there are boys around I will get distracted and won't do my work. I can wait for a boy, I dont need one when I'm in college. I want to get great grades and do all my work constantly.
Also, do you think this will effect how I view my college experience? Part of the actual experience is dorm life, parties, etc. Do you think I will regret choosing an all girls school when I'm rolling in money because I stuck to my studies? (link)
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Hi There. Everyone's experience is completely different. I think college is what you make of it. The point is that you have an endless amount of options. You can commit yourself to being successful in any environment.
Going to an all-girl's school is a personal choice. But remember, you're not living in a vacuum. It's not like men aren't in sight, or that you don't see them on weekends or outside of class. They just don't share the same room while you listen to lectures. To me I don't think you would meet an equally diverse group of people, and most of college is about experience and friendships. Making it about men or parties or living in the library studying is a choice.
You have your whole life ahead of you and can move in any direction. Work hard and enjoy being young and without great responsibility and you can't go wrong.
Good Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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I really like this older guy and he likes me. The age difference is quite big, he's in his mid 40's and I am 27.
We both like each other and have been on a couple of dates, but I'm worried about other people;s reaction to us.
For example, we had many raised eyebrows when we went out to a restaurant together. Someone asked me if he was my father!!
Also other friends of mine that have met him don't find him attractive and don't know what I see in him. I've always gone for guys with nice personalities than good looking guys who were jerks. So what if he's a little overweight and going grey?
He treats me well and I feel like I can talk to him about anything.
What should I say to everyone who is trying to break us up? (link)
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Hi There. I think I can sympathize with your situation a bit. I've currently been involved with a man who is 11 years older than me for a little over a year now. I'm 23 and he's 34.
I have always been on the mature side for my age. I experienced a lot during my 'wild' phase while I was younger and didn't really get into the college-type dating scene of hook-ups and picking up jerks at bars. He is definitely young at heart. He tends to be goofier than I am, and a lot of his friends are more towards my age. Somehow I think we meet in the middle.
My friends and family raised their eyebrows a little when they heard the description. Paticularly because he had been previously married and has a six year old daughter. But when they met him, and saw how hapy I was, they got to know him as a person and things got better. Not everyone is dying to see us walk down the aisle, but more and more people acknowledge we are in fact a good match.
The point is, he meets my needs. I am comfortable and happy around him, and miss him when he's gone. We live together and look forward to the future.
What is important is how you feel about him. Behind closed doors, that's all there is... you, and him.
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I went out with a guy on and off for over a year, we broke up the last time about five months ago but I never really got over him.
On Friday night I had a party to celebrate my birthday. One of my best friends was there as well as my ex boyfriend. My best friend knew I still like him but she ended up kissing him at my party.
I was really upset about it and she told me that she didn't mean to and that nothing was going to happen between them so I forgave her.
My ex boyfriend said he cared about me a lot as a friend but that he likes my best friend, she likes him back.
Now my best friend won't go out with him because she doesn't want me to be unhappy but she's being really resentful towards me. She said that I was an attention seeker for being unhappy about it and some other stuff.
I told her that she had to choose between me and my ex boyfriend and she found it really hard. I've known her for about 10 years so I was really hurt that she found it that hard to choose when she doesn't even like him that much.
I feel so guilty about it. Either way I'm going to be unhappy. If they go out, I'll lose him and her as friends, I won't be able to hang out with my friends in school because they'll be there and it will be uncomfortable and I'll be generally unhappy. If they don't go out, I'll feel guilty and it won't make him like me. So no matter what I do I lose.
So I have no idea what to do, please help me. (link)
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A girlfriend of mine and I went through a similar situation when we were younger. The guy in question happened to be her first "love", he took her virginity etc. so it was pretty serious. Well the guy and I ended up seeing eachother four YEARS later and we dated casually. Even after all that time, she was FURIOUS at me because I would date him at all.
On one hand, I thought it was ridiculous of her because so much time had elapsed between them. In the end, I realized he was a jerk anyhow and my friend and I remained close. We're going on 13 years of friendship now and I realize the old saying 'men come and go but friends are here to stay' is true.
The point is, you can't call 'dibs' on a guy for the rest of your life. Quite frankly, you don't make it sound as if it were that serious at all. In a few years, you'll be struggling to even remember his last name. Don't throw away a much more important relationship over a petty crush. If you care about your friend and your feelings you will acknowledge that even though you are still getting over it, she has the right to date anyone who isn't currently dating you.
Good Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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hey well my friend said this guy was gonna ask me to homecoming..but im kinda worried cause i dont know how to dance. can anybody give me tips on how to dance? lol i know it sounds stupid but any tips? i rate! (link)
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Start by practicing at home in a mirror. Ask a girlfriend that you are comfortable being silly in front of to help you out and show you some of her moves.
find your rhythm. Listen to the song you are playing. In every song there are many rhythms. Pick one, and start to move back and forth in the rhythm. Nothing fancy, start by stepping from side to side with the music.
Practice a few moves in the mirror. Maybe something you've seen in music videos. If you know what something looks like then you don't wonder if what you're doing looks stupid.
Then, once you get to the dance, watch the people dancing around you. If you see a move that looks easy enough, try it. Dancing with a group of friends is great because there's not so much attention on you, and you can copy off of what your friends do. If things are still the way they were when I went to school dances, we mostly danced with our friends for fast songs and with the guys for the slow ones. And that was basically putting your arms around the guy and swaying back in forth to the rhythm. You can handle that.
Remember, be confident. You're at a school dance, not american idol. If you feel like you are messing up, then do something silly and be the first to laugh about it. People can sense if you feel akward or nervous. Chances are most of the other people dancing around you feel nervous too, and they're not dancing much better either. Everyone is there to have fun, so relax and enjoy the music.
Good Luck,
Anne Nonimous
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i have a bf who has gone threw a lot with me
and we have been together for 1 1/2 years ..
he meanse everything to me .. he has hit me
in the past and he tried to kill me .. everyone
thinks i should just get over him but i can`t
i love him .. i was gonna have his baby last year
but shit happend with my mom so i had to get
an abortion :-/ . he has also liked this girl
behind my back and hes been lying about it ever
since .. but now he says that he misses me
and everything .. i don`t know what to do ..
i miss him so much .. he just got outa jail
for something big :-/ trying to run me and
my boii off the road but he just needs help.
please help me thank you -Nikky- (link)
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Hi There. I think that maybe you should start by letting one of your girlfriends read the question you just asked aloud to you. I want you to hear the kind of description you're giving for your boyfriend and relationship and consider who in their right mind would tell you to stay with this guy? All I could see is negative after negative. This is not coming from some he-said-she-said jerry springer drama. It came straight from the source... YOU.
There's a very difficult lesson I learned as a teenage girl. When everyone who surrounds you and cares about you... your family, your friends... when they ALL have the SAME THING to say about the guy you are dating... they are RIGHT.
Good Luck...
Anne Nonimous
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ey (sorry its kinda long..) but anyway, i hooked up with this guy (lets call him sam )last weekend..and one of his friends (b0b) the night before was telling me to make sure he wasn't using me and to make sure he really liked me before i did anything with him. But the night i hooked up wit this guy he was piss drunk..so idk if he really remebers or whatever..Apparantly he did remember because Sam called me on saturday night, the next night and was like "Bob is going to tell you that i am using you, and i just wanted to let you know i'm not.." and he gave me this whole long reason why bob would say this..and then i was like ok fine and then i started doubting that it was acutally Sam who had called so i texted him yesterday (monday) and asked him if he had called me a few days ago and he siad no..what do you think is going on here??
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I think it sounds like both Sam and Bob are immature and not worth your time and attention. I don't understand the statement "I hooked up with this guy BECAUSE he was piss drunk". We've all done it. And in retrospect, you realize the reasons you're been sleeping with guys are to try to make them like you or feel better about yourself and it doesn't work. The only thing you end up with is a bad reputation.
I'm not judging you and I'm not trying to tell you not to have sex. What I AM saying is that eventually you're going to realize that if you sleep with guys that have shown through quality time and respect that they really care about you, you won't be dealing with mini-dramas like this anymore.
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look today i just found out that we were moving from clinton to byram,ms! i have been dating my boyfriend for about 1 year and all of a sudden i find out that im moving!!i love him sooooooo much and when i told him today about me moving it totally crushed him. he asked me what he was going to do without me. i wanted to cry so bad. now my question is that if i move should i be worried about him cheating on me without me knowing??? i am sooo confused right now.i really need a friend right now. all of my friends turned their backs on me because they like my boyfriend and they really want to go out with him but he said no to them because he loves me!!!
plzzzzz someone give me advice or have a personal talk with me!!!
thanks (link)
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It is very difficult for two people who met when they are very young walk a parallel line in life forever. And if you did, what fun would that be? People are seperated for all kinds of reasons... sometimes that's the way life goes.
I had an on/off thing with a guy for over EIGHT YEARS that got to be very serious. I lived in OHIO and he lived in CALIFORNIA. Aside from all the drama and heartache, we spoke almost every day and night on the phone and online, and we were a huge support for each other. We were honest about the people we dated at home, and understood that we just couldn't be together at the time. It didn't stop us from loving each other, but I think about all the things I would have missed if I would have wasted all that time pining over him, because in the end, we realized our worlds were so different that we weren't compatible. You end up wanting very different things out of people as you grow up and get older. More often than not, the people that you are CRAZY about as a young person... the love of your life, the one you'd live and die for... are not the same people when you're in your 20's and 30's.
I'm not trying to say that the feelings you have for your boyfriend are not real or important. They are. My best advice is for you two to vow to just stay honest. Try the long distance thing for awhile. You didn't specify exactly how old you are so I don't know what kind of transportation situation or even how far apart the two towns are that you speak of. But if you two can dig up two webcams, you can basically chat every day as if you were together. If it's too hard, then you two may end up seeing other people. There's an entire world of possibility out there. Just stay true to him and yourself, and you can't go wrong.
Best of Luck!
Anne Nonimous
P.S.-
The one upside to all of this is you can find a whole new group of friends that aren't worthless and conniving. With girlfriends like yours who needs enemies? In the end, this is one of the biggest tests of a relationship that two people can go through. If your boyfriend ends up dating one of your girlfriends behind your back then you're fortunate to see his true colors.
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I'm 17/F and I need advice concerning my boyfriend. We have been together about 2 months now and things have been up and down between us, but we are head over heels in love with eachother. We occasionally have our fights over petty things, but we always make up and I am very happy being with him. Well recently things were even more amazing than usual and we hadn't fought like we usually would. Well it seems like everyone is out to break us up. I had my ex boyfriend trying to tell him that I cheated on him, and then I had guys that used to be friends with him telling me he cheated on me. Everyone was trying to get us to break apart and the underlying reason was crystal clear to me: They wanted us to break up so that I would be single so they could make their move on me. All of them mentioned how they could "treat me better" and all that bullshit. I truly love my boyfriend and I would NEVER cheat on him. But the one area that I always stumble into in all the relationships I've been in is trust. I'm naturally not a very trusting person. And I definently don't trust my boyfriend that much. I trust he would never cheat on me, but when he tells me something I don't trust his word on it. He makes up white lies all the time and exaggerates alot. I have no problem with this really, because I can be a fibber at times as well. But the problem I do have is that he is VERY secretive about his serious issues in his life. Like his family especially. He only lets me know bits and pieces about his family issues. He lives with his mom and his step-dad. I know ALOT about this family. I've met them and I know all of them really well. But his real dad I don't know much about and he doesn't tell me much. His real dad he is not allowed to see because his mom doesn't want him around him, so she told my boyfriend that if she caught him going up there to see him she would send him to military school. So he secretly keeps in contact with him and visits him only about twice a year. He said he won't tell me much about it because the last girl he was with threatened to tell on him to his mom once and she almost got him caught and he said he wants to keep certain things to himself. And I understand that. I'm the same way. But he is double-sided. If I keep something to myself and I am upset about it, he will get PISSED if I don't tell him all the details. And just last night I was hanging out with him and his mom called his cell demanding him to get his ass home or she would call the cops. He had just got off work and it was around 12:30 when we drove back to his house. His mom and step dad were pissed because he "hadn't done his laundry" and he was out late, when he doesn't have a curfew on the weekends! So that didn't at all make sense to me. Well he pulled up at his house and his step dad was standing in the front lawn. He gave me a kiss goodnight and the minute he opened the car door to get out, his step dad reached his hand into the car, grabbed my boyfriend by the hair and threw him onto the front lawn and started punching him and kicking in his ribs and face! I immediately got out of my car and ran over there. His step dad was punching him and cussing him out and my boyfriend was on the ground screaming, "I didn't do anything wrong! STOP!" Well I started screaming at his dad to stop fucking beating him up and he looked at me and briefly stopped and told me to get in my fucking car and get the hell out of there or something will happen. I stood there not wanting to leave, but my boyfriends uncle gently pushed me toward my car and told me to leave quickly. The whole night I couldn't sleep or eat and I was crying all night and morning because I was afraid they found out he went to see his real dad and they were going to send him away. And I was also afraid my boyfriend would decide to move 2 hours away to get away from them. Well I finally got to see my boyfriend around 10:30 and his face was all cut up, his ear cartilage was torn, his back was covered in welts and so was his neck and chest, and his head had a HUGE bump on it. He told me his step dad called the cops on him because he punched him and busted his nose. (His dad had continued beating the shit out of him for 15 minutes straight after I left and drug him by his hair up the stairs so my boyfriend got up and punched him in the face). Well when I asked why his dad did this he said he would tell me later. Then he told me later that he couldn't tell me because it was a "family issue" and it didn't concern me and it was something real serious, and he was told not to talk to anyone about it. Well I was upset that he wouldn't tell me, but I wasn't going to press it. Well later that night he told me the reason was because he "missed curfew", "kept having people over without permission", and "wasn't checking in with them enough". I know it was a lie. I can tell when he lies and he was lying to me. But I wasn't going to add stress by bringing it up. So is there any way that I can get my boyfriend to open up to me? I understand people need there privacy and some thing kept to themselves, but there are certain things I think I should be entitled to knowing since I am his girlfriend, and since he expects me to tell him about my serious issues as well. (Sorry my question is so long!) (link)
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Hello there. You've got a LOT going on in your life. I think you're stuck in a toxic relationship. Let's talk about that first:
A true and healthy relationship will revolve around basic aspects: Trust, Honesty, Love, and Respect. You and your boyfriend aren't going to be able to reach a true level of intimacy if you haven't gotten past the level of he-said she-said bs and basic communication. True love is based upon the good, the bad, and the ugly. And love sometimes means being hurtful because that's what is the truth. If he isn't going to open up to you, you will always feel arm's length from him despite the time you two share together. It has to be a reciprocal relationship of give and take. You get back what you give in. Otherwise, you end up feeling completely drained, and ultimately empty-handed.
As for the episode of Jerry Springer, it's not your boyfriend's fault that he is in a bad situation with his family. No one deserves to be in a position of abuse or neglect. His stepfather should be reported to the proper authorities and they should be separated by either your boyfriend or his stepdad living somewhere else. Now that being said, you need to consider where you stand with your man. Is being with him healthy for you? Is being with you better for HIM at this time in his life? It's hard to walk away from someone in their time of need. You may decide to be there to support and comfort him, and that would be admirable. But do consider your well being too. Putting yourself in harm's way or emotional distress won't help either one of you or your relationship either.
You need to have a heart to heart and level with him. It's got to be real and true from here on out. If he loved you the way he says he does, he would trust and respect you enough to let him into his life and let you share his burden. You need to respect his pride and privacy, but also be real to him, too. He should know by now whether or not you are going to cheat. So no more white lies, you have to live up to the expecations you place upon him.
I hope things work out for the best.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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I dont know if this guy thats 1 year older then me likes me or not. I dont know if i should go up to him or not. he goes to my school and he always looks at me and stuff and i used to talk to him online and stuff and now i dont know what i should do. should i go up to him at school and start a conversation?? hes not coming up to me and saying anything so is it my job to make the first move??? ill rate 5's for good answers!! (link)
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From the way you make it it sounds like HE already made the first move and is waiting for some reciprocation. He shows physical interest by looking at you; obviously he's intersted in conversation. I'd say signs look positive to ask this guy out, or at least give him a sign that he should ask YOU out.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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