about

I'm a nineteen year old girl whos dreams are to help the world. But for now, I'll start on Advicenators :)


I can't say I can relate to every question that comes my way (probably most though!), but I guarantee I'll understand. And sometimes that's all you need...a little understanding :)

advice

Me and my boyfriend just started going out.we were talking for probably about 6 weeks and started going out 2 weeks ago.He says he likes me a lot and i like him a lot too.but these things make me feel like he doesn't like me: he doesnt text me that often,and when he does ...its not for very long.We don't hangout everyday and on the weekends we will make plans and he will sometimes not even call me to cancel them,which thats usually on friday night.Saturday night we usually hangout all night and then he doesnt text me sunday (and if he does,its not much) then on monday i see him a lot during school and i have a class with him.I drop him off at home after school some days and some days we hangout after school,which is really good.but on the days i drop him off,i sometimes don't hear from him until late at night.He never really does cute things either .like i never get cute texts and such.He kisses me in school and stuff ,so i know he likes me.I just really want to hangout more and talk more and ive talked to him about it and he says "im sorry,im just doing stuff or sleeping or my phone dies" and i told him that when he can't hangout to just call me and tell me ,instead of not saying anything...and he says hes gonna change that but he still hasn't. Maybe its to early in our relationship,and i guess its good to move slow.But i just get the feeling that he forgets about me : /

Good news, your not married! :) Bad news, you never will be. To this boy, anyway. haha :)

He's not going to change when it comes to the cute texts and such. And the continuous lame excuses...yeah their still going to continue. He's either A) Just not that kind of guy or B) He's just not that into you

WHICH IS PERFECTLY FINE EITHER WAY!
If it's A, all that means is you two aren't meant to be and your both looking for something else in a relationship. That's what relationships are all about, right? Looking for what ya want and what ya don't want which eventually leads you to your true prince charming ;) Basically all it means if he's not your type.

If it's B, well, all that means is your just not his main squeeze. That's ok.

If you want my opinion, I'd break up with him for the soul purpose of "It's just not gonna work."

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so my girlfriend and i both drink well we have our ups and downs just like every couple but when we fight its always my fault she will say i always am in a bad mood or get upset about somethin everytime we drink and if we hanging with ppl she will be like it was cool hangin guys but ig otta go cuz shes(me) actin dumb. and it always my fault i do this or that or i want everything my way and i dont. and i always hurt her but she can never hurt me. what can i do? i dont wanna leave her because i do love her.

This is where all couples go wrong. You need to have an open communication about your feelings. See, people are in relationships for a reason. THAT person we all choose to be with is there for support, to be your best friend, to be the person you know you can always go to when you feel the whole world is against you. If she's making you feel like shit about your self by always blaming you, you need to tell her how you feel. Tell her in a heartfelt way. Don't be defensive about it. If she respects your feelings and says something along the lines of "I'm sorry I made you feel that way and I'll work on it" then work it out :) If she proves she doesn't have respect for your feelings, it's time to end that relationship.

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how can i spice things up with my boyfriend, weve ben together almost a year :) but its starting to go bleh.

We need more information. Like, how old you guys are. Are you intimate and if so, to what extent. Live together? WHAT?!?

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soo i met this one guy a couple months back and i have reallly stong feelings for him. but right before i bet him, him and his girl broke up. they had been going out for about two years on and off. and thats along time considering hes 19 and shes 17. and im 16 btw haha. anddd he lives in a different state :/ but ignore that fact haha.
anyways. we talk everyday. hes the type that goes out and parties so i get really lonely at night when we arent talking and he seems like hes interested in me cause he calls me babe and baby and stuff and he told me when im 18 i can come live with him and stuff. and when we like stop talking during the day cause hes busy or im busy he says love you and stufff. and he just gives my signs that he does. but at the same time i feel like he just does it to do it if you know what i mean? he the realllly horny type too so idk if what to think. and i dont wanna ask him cause we have never met and stufff so i dont wanna get all serious on him ahha
but today we didnt talk the whole day so i was like ok whats up with that? cause we always tlak. i texted him a couple hours ago and he said "sorry i dont htink of you. i dont even have time for myself. sorry girl" i dont really know what that is suppose to mean. and he was like acting really weird. and i asked him what he wss doing and he said thinking and im like bout what and he said everything. he was just giving me some weird answers. and im like welll ill leave you alone and he said im just gonna go try to sleep. and hes like sweet dreams babe.

so can someone help me out here. he tells me im beautiful and stufffand he makes me smile. and gives me hints that he likes me but at the same time im just like idkkk?
so what do you guys think of this or what i should do?

ps. dont say anything about us being in differnet states or that fact we have never met. thats not what im asking about so dont talk about that.

Your a sweet girl. One who obviously is too sweet to really read signs.

But you explained everything and I will...translate :)

He's a flirt. He has another chick on his mind. Your not his main squeeze. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing your really into him and he can have you whenever HE wants. That's a lot of power to give to someone.

Move on. And fast.

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I'm 17. i just broke up with this guy who ive been on and off with since middle school. i thought i loved this guy but he ended up treating me like i was less than him and spreading semi private things about me. the worst part is, ive tried to move on by dating other guys but i don't feel that same passion and connection with them. i think my ex feels the same. I know i should just move on but i just cant get close to anyone but my ex. so what's more important, connection or getting along 100% of the time?

I'll be 18 in a few days and have been with my boyfriend since the 7th grade :) So thanks for coming to me with this question!

CONNECTION is more important. No couple gets along 100% of the time. But what's more important than connection is RESPECT. If he's spreading private things about you, that is disrespectful, immature, and not a sign that you love someone.

Obviously you still care about him very much and you think he feels the same way. Just remember, when it comes to love, you really can't help your feelings at ALL.

Here's how I look at:

You tried getting over him. You tried dating other people. It's just not working. Not saying you two will be together forever, but I just don't think NOW is the best time to end it. Communication is key in EVERY healthy relationship. It what helps get through those hard times and eliminates most future ones.

I think you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Everything. How you tried getting over him by seeing if you had a connection with someone else, but no one compared to the connection you only got with him. BUT this time you need to tell him things NEED to change. If he l loved you like he said he did, he wouldn't of disrespected you by spreading rumors and making himself seem better than you (WHICH by the way IS because he feels your more successful than him. He's jealous) But work it out. You need to tell him how you feel about why you love him, and what needs to happen so things could work.

Hope I help!

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me and my boyfriend are one of those couples who break up and still act like couples evn though not together. which i dont like i do want to do the things we do if we're not together so i asked him to get back together he's like whenever we get back together we end so horribly.. just give it another chance im willing to try again i think it will work and he's like im sorry but i just dont think it'll work. i got in deep depression after that i mean i had sex with this guy when we weren't dating thinking oh yeah he loves you and he'll eventually ask you out again and what not but he didn't. and because of this depression i started to go out alot to try and get my mind off the pain but i only had guy friends girls tend to not like me much so i started hanging with guys and he got jelous and i'm like this is my way of getting over u so back off and he's like i still care about you be careful being just 1 girl with a whole lot of guys is dangerous. and i'm like stop caring for me if i feel you care about me i'm never going to move on just let me go. he's like i can't i want to get back together but we wont work. and i'm like whatever you believe is what is going to happen in our relationship you have to be positive and let us face these problems together talk and work it out. if you want it to work it will and he's like im sorry we just can't. so the next day we acted like total buddies we were just laughing and having a descent conversation over msn and phone. i tried jelousy on him i tried being angry and showing him that we can make it if we try i tried being a friend to him but should i just keep being like "chilled out" like a buddie to him and maybe later on he'll come back. be the party girl he worries about and he'll come back? or just argue and he'll come around because he'll think he's wrong? i don't know what to try to get him back!

Try the buddie buddie thing.

Party girl will not work. I mean, it could, but not in the long run. He'll only get back with you because he's afraid of you getting with someone else. That is what his whole mind set will be on "Don't let her get with another guy!!!" How to fix problem? "Ask her back out."

Don't forget, guys have a one track mind. When their faced with a problem, they simply think of an easy solution to solve it.

If that's what his one track is filled with and he solves it, the relationship is bound for destruction.

Which is why buddie buddie will work. You will eventually be able to discuss the issues you two had throughout your relationship and what happened for WHY it never worked. Discuss the thing you two need to change.

If he sees "Hey, maybe we both know what we need to work on, and we can be together again" then Good luck! :)

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i'm 18/female. my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 amazing months. we've been best friends for several years and our relationship is awesome. it was an instant connection. we've even considered getting married in a few years because our connection was just amazing and our love goes really deep. we're both strong Christians and very open with each other. he'd told me when we first started dating that he'd struggled with porn. last night he told me that it had been gay porn and he still struggles with it. he said he thinks he might be attracted to guys and girls. he says he is still completely in love with me but wanted to be honest and didn't want this to break us up. i agreed to stay with him and try to help him though this. it's killing me though. i don't want to break up with him at all, but i have no idea what to do. i can't tell anybody because i'm the only one who knows so i'm doing this anonymously. my whole body is in physical pain struggling with this. i can't think straight. i need help. any advice from anybody out there would be great. tell me the truth please. that's what i want. please i'm begging. i don't know what to do or say. i want to "change" him, but i know i can't. it's his struggle but now i'm trying to help and i have no idea what to do. i don't want to turn him away anymore. i need him and he needs me. but i don't want to be used as a cover because he doesn't want anybody else to know. please help me. thank you.

Don't think of yourself being used as a "cover up" please.

WELL here's how I look at this. You said your both strong Christians. With that being said, I'm sure you also believe God works in mysterious ways and would never give you anything you couldn't handle.

FIRST you need to have a talk with him basically bluntly stating "I NEED to know, do you think your bi, or gay? You HAVE to be honest because it's only fair to me AND you too."

Weather he's bi or gay, he can't have you AND a man too. (I'm totally assuming you would NOT be ok him dating you AND a man) If you are considering that in order to keep the relationship, STOP.

You need to let him know, for your sake, he can never be with a man if he is dating you. There are too many disease out there, and that is still cheating.

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Basically, I met a girl a few months ago and shes amazing, pretty, smart, funny, etc...

Anyways, after talking for a long time I tell her how I feel about her, and then she says she feels the same way. But, her boyfriend constantly treats her like garbage, he'll yell at her, tell her shes a dumb b**ch and a c*nt all the time. When she tries to stand up for herself, he says leave. They argue all the time but she doesn't want to end it because they've been together for 3 years going on 4. She's always crying to me about how big of a jerk this guy is to her, I'm telling her she's crazy to stay and she can do better. But she just doesn't see it. She ended up going home for a few days last week, I was excited and happy for her. Now she's just going right back into it.

He's never treated her right, he cheated on her, used to hit her, now its apparently just verbal abuse, but I have my suspicions.

She feels she's too in love with him still to leave, and it's just killing me. I've been trying to convince her to leave, we've talked about how we feel about each other numerous times but she doesn't want to seem to budge from this jerk off.

I know I should drop it and find someone else, but I don't want to. I believe she's the one for me. Any advice?

When a girl is getting abused like that, being lowered by words feeling as if though your just taking up space and are nothing to this world, well, the person who makes them feel that way, they almost want to try everything in their power to prove them wrong. By staying with them, answering to their every call, and trying to make THEM happy. Its a way of the abuser to gain control over them. The one getting abused looses complete control over their own happiness because their life is made up of their abusers own happiness.

So sad.

She is NOT in love with him. I hope you know that. I hope you also know he has NEVER stopped hitting her. She has simply just stopped telling you the times he has with fear that you may doing something about THAT kind of abuse. She'll still come to you with the verbal abuse though. She's gotta talk to someone.

There is my reasoning for everything. Now here is my solution:

A girl in her situation needs help of family and friends to get through something like this. Like a drug abuser. I think you should have an intermission with her mom, dad, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, best friends, just basically anyone who cares about her. Clue them in on the whole story, get everyone together and discuss what your all going to say to your friend who's getting abused. When someone is approached with all the people they care about and hear how their scared for them because of the way their life is going, it opens their eyes.

YOU also need to tell that jerk off to stay the hell away from her or he'll be dealing with you.

Key points to mention when your each talking to her during the intermission:

-You are ALL here for her
-SHE CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM SAFELY AND CAN START LIVING THE HAPPY LIFE SHE DESERVES
-You all love her
-She has a place stay

Remember, I do not know the whole situation when it comes to how her family is, and such. I just give the best advice I feel I can give with hopes you can use it, or at least work with it to the best of your advantage. If you find me to be of any use at all, you can always privately message me. Keep in mind, it's still anonymous.

Best of luck to you! :)

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so there is this boy jordan who i really like. he's a really good friend. I dont really know if he likes me but he be flirting with me alot and he will just stare at me for along time. I will ask him what and he will just shrug. and when we walk by each other we smile at each other all the time. One time while we was eating lunch he was just messing and flirting with me and i thought in my head omg he likes me and then my this other girl was like tiffany he likes you and i was like i know to her. but then he be talking about girls alot but he usually just be lying about the girls because his sister be telling me he's lieing. but he has family that live in canada and there's this girl there and i think he likes her because this guy ask if this boy named mike liked him and his little brother was like no but jordan does. so i think he likes that girl. but i dont know what to do. i know the only thing to do is talk to him but i really cant do that. so help me please

I don't get why girls say "I like this boy, but I can't tell him. What should I do?!"

WHY can't you tell them? If your looking for any kind of relationship, remember, communication is a key factor. So start off your communication skills early by telling him!

By the way, the girl lives in Canada. She's no competition.

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so there's this guy he is pretty much amazing
we are really close friends.
he's been gone for a month and just came back today and i was acting pretty shy, it wasnt really obvious but like when i would lift my glass, because he was there, i would be shaking really quickly. and before he got there and before i knew he was like 20 minutes i was fine. i dont know its just weird. and i really like him. well pretty of girls like him i'm sure. and i get jealous when i think about girls that i know like him. what should i do. like i definitely can't talk to him about it because he would just tell his whole family which i'm close to and he has a really big family and they are really close and i just cant tell him but can you give me some advice on this please.

Do you think he likes you too?
If so, tell him then. What's so wrong with his family knowing...think about it.

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well me and my boyfriend are very happy and falling in love, but I haven't seen him in a month and its so hard! what are some things I can do to get him off my mind? besides phone calls and texting him. because it makes me miss him more.

Be glad you still miss. At least its not an out of sight, out of mind thing. Soo now you know its true love ;)

Ways to stop the missing pain though? Well my boyfriend has been gone, too. One week left! :) I hung out with my girlfriends as much as possible. Its true, when your in a relationship, in most cases, you just simply don't hang out with your friends as much.

Go shopping or spend the day getting your nails done and stuff :)

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me & my boyfriend are both virgins, we have done everythink else wev bin goin out 4 6 months. hes 16 and im 15. wel we had dry sex ages ago he came all over me and did sorta entr me 2 but only a little bit. aneways that was 2months ago i havent had a period since. can i be pregnant?

Considering you did everything else, fingering and stuff, that could mess up your period.

Have you been stressed?
Are your periods ever late?

He came inside of you a little??? You might be. Go get a pregnancy test!

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Ok My names dj and ive been with this girl that ive never met.. in real life.. i met her on the internet and i know this is dumb but ive stayed with her for almost a year and a half now and sometimes i feel like she has done things on me and she tells me shes a virgin and her friends tell me to.. we are very far apart and we talk bout having a family and all that when she turns 18 she is gonna move down to indiana with me and I'm really jealous of this dude ryan because shegave him a handjob last summer becuase i told her i got a new girlfriend.. and im scared bout this summer shes gonna have sex on me or she is having sex on me and shes not telling me the truth is there anyway i can get the truth some how.. i need advice because i tell her i dont wanna be with her no more and then she says shit she dont mean like she did have sex... then im like ok im not gonna leave you.. and then she says i was jk because u made me mad.. and shes very sweet how do i know if shes lieing or not... i beg you people plz email me advice and answers at lil_skaggs88@yahoo.com

Hola DJ! Any girl trying to hurt you by saying she's had sex with other guys is NO sweet heart.

Sounds to me like you have some trust issues going on and what's a HUGE part of a relationship? Trust. So, that's what you two need to work on. Talk to her about this MAJOR issue. If you don't see eye to eye on it, maybe it's time to break it off and find someone you can physically BE with.

Orrrr you could always just fire an investigator where she lives :) HAA

Orrrr go see her!

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i am 15 and i have a friend and we have been talking for about a month now and i think he likes me but i know he has a girlfriend he loves to talk on the phone with me sometimes after 2 in the morning he comes to see me and dont see her he says things that a male would tell their girlfriend he takes up for me and before we always hangs up he tell me he love me and gets mad if i dint he won't hang up the phone unless i tell him what should i do because i have a crush on him to?

Any guy that's playing two girls at the same time has no respect for woman and is a JERK.

I think you need to bring it to his attention what he's doing. STAND STRONG and stick up for all the other girls out there who's buttholeboyfriends and cheating on them.

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This guy and I have been dating for almost three months now.Is it weird we haven't kissed yet?
He asked me if I wanted to and I was like well, I don't know. Some of me wants to, but the last person I kissed was a girl, and I was basically, pressured into that. I think the only reason I haven't is maybe I might have a fear of not feeling something or possibly feel something. And I thought maybe I should have kissed him, and maybe I'm a dang idiot, but too, I feel like it should be unexpected. What do you think?

lol you totally shocked me with the I kissed a girl part. Maybe your afraid if you kiss him, your realize you like kissing girls more. So what I'm basically saying is, maybe your afraid of realizing your into chicks.

But I mean, its been three months. I think you should kiss already! :)

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i am a 15 year old female and i dated this guy for about 2 months and then i dumped him because i heard bad stuff that he did. but i still like him and he still likes me. a few of my friends like him and say hes a goood guy and that we should date again, while a couple other people HATE him and say i should just forget and move on. my one friend is always trying to protect me from him hurting me, and thinks he is a terrible guy. me and her ALWAYS get in fights whenever he comes into the picture. a few people know about me and this guy still likin eachother, but i havent told her yet. should i confront her and tell her whats goin on?:S , i dont think she will understand, and i think she will get mad at me. what should i do?!?!

I mean, she doesn't like him because of bad things he did in the PAST? Hunny, if we were all condemned for our PAST, no one would be anywhere in life right now.

Do YOU think he's a nice guy? You need to explain that to your friend. Just be like look, I know you only care about me, but don't get pissed off at me when I'm making choices and LIVING MY LIFE. If she doesn't understand that, then she also doesn't understand that we all have our OWN lives and she's a controlling friend. Dump HER! HA

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I have a girlfriend but i'm falling for another girl again and i really like them both what should i do?

Be FAIR and telling your girlfriend how your feeling.

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I'm sixteen. This guy and I have been talking. He happens to be a player who thinks I'm some bad girl.lol I actually happen to be a very very good girl. We hung out, and he thought he was going to get some but that didn't happen, so he started acting like an ass hole to me around his friends and my friends. I decided that i'm going to do my best to stop thinking about him in that more than a friend way, but teach him a lesson while i'm at it. For example, he called to apologise, and i told him how i felt about what he did being messed up, and then telling him i had to go. Basically now, everytime he talks we talk for a second, literally, because i've been getting him off the phone quick with all kinds of excuses. This has all worked so well :D lol....because now he is constantly calling and texting me, but i'm still giving him the same treatment, which has got him all crazy because of the way he naggs. So, he asked me a question before I hung up today "do you still like me", and i told him I had to leave. Then he said "when can i call you". then i told him in two hours, and then he said "why not 20 minutes", and i told him, 2 HOURS. that was it...i'm stuck right now, because I want to keep him spinning,but i'm not sure if what i plan to say will work. I wanted to tell him "maybe" or "kind of".....but what do you guys think i shoudl have as a "mind game" answer.

hahaha me and you would totally get along!

Smart girl. Don't let stupid boys take advantage of you!

Well, he's played by your little game for a while now. Give him a little lee way so he still feels like there's hope and he's not getting all worked up for nothing.

I'd say "Well, I did, but I don't really know anymore. You really did act like a big butthead with your friends and stuff and I don't really go for jerks, ya know?"

Hopefully he'll apologize again, totally try to persuade you that he's really not like that, and things will start from there ;)

Let me know what happens! HAA

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so, there\'s this guy i like. i\'ve liked him for about 3 years now. i remember the day when i first saw him. it was at my church and i recall him sneaking looks at me :) i was surprised because he was kind of cute. there was even the incident that, at that night, he was waiting outside in his car for his parents to leave. he was looking at me from the side of the car, i could tell. also, when i left that area, he got into the car but when i returned he got out :) he doesn\'t remember this though. it\'s been two years and i have tried within these two to get him to come back to my church. i did, thankfully. :) he knows that i like him now based on some friends of mine. last year, i went to his cousin\'s house for a religious affiliated affair, but i didn\'t talk to him. i was shy but i talked to his friend who knew. for sure, when i was there, he looked at me. but i don\'t know if itz cuz i looked at him or what. four months ago, he came to my church where my friends teased me infront of him, it was cute but i was too shy to talk to him. but, at least he noticed at that point that i exist, fortunately. we started talking on aim, quite a bit too. but, when i started talking to him he was talking to another girl. (there\'s a whole other story behind the other girl, and it\'s not necessary but it was quite funny). they don\'t talk anymore and i noticed that he doesnt come on aim anymore either. (im guesing he only used to come on for her). he also told me that he\'s not looking for a relationship right now, but he said that when he misinterpreted what i was saying. i think that\'s sad because it felt like an indirect rejection. last week i saw him at my church again and i managed to say a few words to him. i said hi, and he said hi. but the way he said hi, it was veryy shy. i\'m shy too but still, it was cute the way he said it. after we talked for that little instance, we didn\'t make eye contact again. i guess since it was kind of awkward at the time. i found out afterwards that a friend of his who went to my church along with him (who knows that i like him), likes to poke fun at us when i\'m not looking. when he does so, the guy i like blushes and tells his friend to stop before someone sees. and i heard he was smiling at me when i sang in my church. after it\'s all over, he doesn\'t say hi not even on the online sites like facebook or whatnot. i don\'t know if its because he doesn\'t know me enough and doesn\'t take it seriously. i\'m getting confused signals. do you think i should wait some more and meet some more before i give up because i really feel like it. it seems as if everyone around me is finding their \"guy\" but me. please help and i\'m truly sorry for such a long question but please please please, i need your help.

17 / f

aww what a sweet passage :)

I think if he was into you, he'd come to your church more. Wait till next Sunday and see if he shows up. If not, ask his friend where he's at. More than likely he'll be like hey that one chick asked about you at church

Then see if he's there the following week

;)

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16/f
my boyfriend of 9 months recently told me he was moving to a different continent. but then his dad lost the job so he didnt have to go. when we both thought he was moving, i would cry whenever i was with him and i was really upset but i liked that he would comfort me and hold me. i think i got used to all this attention and now that he is not moving i am still crying yet making up reasons why i am. today i felt like he was ignoring me so i acted mad then started cryin on his couch while we were watching a movie. i guess i did it to get attention because i felt like he was ignoring me and i blamed it on that i was having a hard time with life right now. i just like the attention i guess but i am starting to look like a total clinger. i dont know what to do, i want to stop being such an attention whore but i cant seem to help it.

Ahh! You better stop that before he thinks this chickkk aint nothin but a whiny cry baby! SEE YA

And end it =/

That thought right there should totally change your attitude about crying like that.

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