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humorist-workshop
Girl I like is being treated like crap by her boyfriend
Basically, I met a girl a few months ago and shes amazing, pretty, smart, funny, etc...
Anyways, after talking for a long time I tell her how I feel about her, and then she says she feels the same way. But, her boyfriend constantly treats her like garbage, he'll yell at her, tell her shes a dumb b**ch and a c*nt all the time. When she tries to stand up for herself, he says leave. They argue all the time but she doesn't want to end it because they've been together for 3 years going on 4. She's always crying to me about how big of a jerk this guy is to her, I'm telling her she's crazy to stay and she can do better. But she just doesn't see it. She ended up going home for a few days last week, I was excited and happy for her. Now she's just going right back into it.
He's never treated her right, he cheated on her, used to hit her, now its apparently just verbal abuse, but I have my suspicions.
She feels she's too in love with him still to leave, and it's just killing me. I've been trying to convince her to leave, we've talked about how we feel about each other numerous times but she doesn't want to seem to budge from this jerk off.
I know I should drop it and find someone else, but I don't want to. I believe she's the one for me. Any advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
When a girl is getting abused like that, being lowered by words feeling as if though your just taking up space and are nothing to this world, well, the person who makes them feel that way, they almost want to try everything in their power to prove them wrong. By staying with them, answering to their every call, and trying to make THEM happy. Its a way of the abuser to gain control over them. The one getting abused looses complete control over their own happiness because their life is made up of their abusers own happiness.
So sad.
She is NOT in love with him. I hope you know that. I hope you also know he has NEVER stopped hitting her. She has simply just stopped telling you the times he has with fear that you may doing something about THAT kind of abuse. She'll still come to you with the verbal abuse though. She's gotta talk to someone.
There is my reasoning for everything. Now here is my solution:
A girl in her situation needs help of family and friends to get through something like this. Like a drug abuser. I think you should have an intermission with her mom, dad, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, best friends, just basically anyone who cares about her. Clue them in on the whole story, get everyone together and discuss what your all going to say to your friend who's getting abused. When someone is approached with all the people they care about and hear how their scared for them because of the way their life is going, it opens their eyes.
YOU also need to tell that jerk off to stay the hell away from her or he'll be dealing with you.
Key points to mention when your each talking to her during the intermission:
-You are ALL here for her
-SHE CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM SAFELY AND CAN START LIVING THE HAPPY LIFE SHE DESERVES
-You all love her
-She has a place stay
Remember, I do not know the whole situation when it comes to how her family is, and such. I just give the best advice I feel I can give with hopes you can use it, or at least work with it to the best of your advantage. If you find me to be of any use at all, you can always privately message me. Keep in mind, it's still anonymous.
Best of luck to you! :)
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