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advice

I'm a 13 yearold girl i'm a blond and blue eyed.A lot of guys ask me out.Anyway my boyfriend is 16 and he changed me into someone i'm not.When we started dating he told i should dress more “slutty”.Then i started waring “slutty” clothes. Our relationship started from a little kissing and making out to being in a sexual relationship.My friend saw the change of my personality, even i saw the change.i turned from a blond who did the right thing to a blond who is a slut and does anything right.i want to change but i don't want to end my relationship with my boyfriend.Please give me advice.i can't stop thinking about my situation.

Ask yourself, is this worth it? You are 13 and he is 16. A three year difference wont mean much when you are 20, but at your age there is something really creepy about it. Very few relationships will last at your age, and a guy like the one you're dating is not worth changing for. Do you intend to stay together for life? I hope not. He will never stop trying to change you. Now he knows he can push you to do something, he wont respect your desire to be yourself. He wont respect you at all.

He is using you. There is no question of it, and it is the raw and painful truth. You are young and don't really know how relationships work yet; he's taking advantage of that to satisfy his lust. This is not fair to you! There are plenty of other guys out there, much better guys, and you will find that perfect someone eventually.

A good boyfriend doesn't care what kind of clothes you wear, because he isn't dating your clothes or your boobs: he's dating you! He will like you for the way you laugh, the way you stand up for the people you care about, even the foods you love and the way you smile when you eat them. And if you smack when you chew gum, or have bad teeth, or wear stupid hats, he will like you anyway.

Does your current boyfriend care that much about you? I doubt it. If you told him you refused to dress like a 'slut' and don't want to do more than kiss him, would he be ok with that or would he get upset and threaten to dump you? If you are unhappy with what your current boyfriend has changed you into, why continue? Ditch him, be the person you want to be, and find people who like you for you instead of your body and the slutty clothes they forced on you. Good luck.

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what does that mean?

Most likely, they mean that you are not sensitive to body language, emotions, and hidden meaning behind words and situations.

For example, women often say they're ok or fine when they really aren't. Sometimes other people can pick up on body language or subtle changes is tone of voice that show that no, they aren't really ok. Sometimes, the situation should clearly show how not ok she is (in tears, curled up in a closet, etc.). And other times, they secretly hope the person they're talking to will pick up on it whether or not there is any visible clue. It's confusing between two female friends, and can absolutely confound guys when their girlfriends do it.

I don't know whether you are female or male, but the person telling you that you are oblivious most likely means that you are not as sensitive to other people's emotions as you should be. You are missing things that they consider to be obvious. Maybe you are offending people without noticing, or maybe you aren't recognizing hurt and emotional pain when you partner needs you to. It could be anything.

People are confusing. The best way to figure out exactly what it means, in this case, is to get that person to tell you. They probably want you to magically figure it out on your own, but if you admit, "Fine, I'm oblivious. I'm also confused. Please explain because I just don't get it," they will hopefully give in and explain. Good luck.

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While joking around with my girlfriend, I accidentally pinned her down by her neck and hurt her. The thing is, I'm a lot bigger than her, and I've always had problems being stronger than her (I jokingly slap her arm and it still hurts her when I do it light). Now, she's very very angry at me. I may have lost her. How can I make her understand that it was a mistake, that I didn't mean to hurt her, that I was honestly holding back and doing it as light as I could? How can I make her see that I never ever want to hurt her or anyone?
Male, 28

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you may not be able to get her back. Being pinned at the neck with even the slightest bit of pressure, when you aren't expecting it, is a very frightening thing. If you were held down at the throat by someone stronger than you, with no way to free yourself, would you be comfortable with that? It doesn't matter how light the pressure was; it's a form of asserting complete dominance and it is horrible to experience. You may have instantly shattered whatever trust she had in you.

She is going to remember those arm slaps and the pinning, and she is going to look at all of that as one big picture. Even if you didn't mean to hurt her, these could be the beginning signs of domestic abuse and they can show themselves in men that have never seemed abusive before. Returning to men like that in the early stages is what can get a women trapped in an abusive relationship for years. I'm sure you're not a bad person and you never want to hurt her like that, but you might wake up one day and realize you don't recognize yourself in the mirror anymore. It can happen to the best of us. In her place, I would leave you even if I recognized you as sincere in your apology. People can change and I'd rather leave a relationship early than risk getting trapped like that.

I think your only option, if you are serious about this relationship, is to suggest couple's therapy. This will be more for you to confront your problems than her; you have to recognize that even slapping her arm is not ok after she negatively responds to it the first time, and pinning at the neck is never ok without clear permission in advance. It doesn't matter how bad you feel about it now; you need to address your reasons for doing it in the first place before it happens again. As awkward and shameful as it may seem to drag all this out in front of a therapist, this is the best way to show her that you are serious about the relationship, recognize your mistake, and want to correct it in a way that doesn't force her to be alone with you.

Also, right now it is important that you don't smother her with attention. Showing extreme neediness is another red flag in relationships and will only drive her away more. Show her that you are there and you still care, and call and ask her if she would be interested in some therapy sessions before completely giving up on you, but don't force her into anything or assume that she will be ok with anything. Ask her for permission before doing anything that relates to her. You need to ask her if she wants to enter therapy with you, ask before you hold her hand, ask before you even touch her hair or drop by her workplace to see her. This will help reinforce that you do care about her and don't want to make her uncomfortable in any way.

If you aren't willing to do couples' therapy and don't recognize there might be a deeper problem here than just inappropriate joking (I don't know any men who would jokingly grab a woman by the throat), then you'd best let this relationship go. It'd be best for the both of you.

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16/F

I finally got a great boyfriend! He's so nice, he talks to me when he can, and he even came out to eat with me for my birthday. I was so happy that I cried when I met him because he was just so perfect. At first. Now I'm kind of confused because we don't cuddle as much and whenever he even just hugs me or holds my hand, his face turns a bright red and he looks extremely uncomfortable so I feel kind of hurt... And when we talk, he acts like he's not all that interested in the conversation or he's just way too nervous to talk. I mean, he says he loves me all the time and I say it back, but I don't know if he means it and I don't know if I mean it because... I dunno if it's weird, but I don't know what love is exactly. Romantic love anyway and when I asked my mom about it, she just said she feels sorry for my boyfriend that he has to date a heartless person like me, so I was like whaaat? I mean, I guess there's just not enough passion in this relationship? I'm not talking about sex, I mean, the least he can do is kiss me back like he means it? He just pecks me on the lips real quick, then takes off looking all nervous and relieved that it was over... What do I do about this whole situation? I mean, we've been dating for almost four months now...

If he blushes that brightly when you kiss or touch him, he obviously isn't indifferent toward you. You might be his first serious girlfriend, or he may not be used to contact with girls in general. When people aren't used to physical contact or expressing their feelings, it makes them uncomfortable to do so. Talk about this with him, and try to be understanding about it. He obviously cares about you; don't let his nervousness/shyness fool you into thinking he's losing his feelings for you.

As for knowing what love is...you're 16! It would be pretty shocking if you had love figured out by now. But this is the age where you start to figure it out, through experience. :) Don't analyze things so much and don't worry about being unsure. Nobody is sure of much at the age of 16 and the two of you are still trying to figure out who you are.

Really, like I said before, the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Don't be accusing or judging; just tell him that you aren't sure what to make of his actions and it's making you insecure. Once you both discuss what's making him uncomfortable, you can begin move past it. Good luck!

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hoe to impress a girl

It depends on the girl, and your relationship with her. For example, if she's something of a tomboy she might not appreciate the more 'girly' gestures of romance. And if you don't know her that well, making a really over-the-top romantic gesture would probably make her uncomfortable.

I'm going to guess you aren't super close to her, otherwise you wouldn't be so worried about impressing her...

For one thing, be yourself. The kind of girl who doesn't like you for who you are is not a girl you want to spend time with, anyway. Don't force yourself to act all macho or be a jerk to people just to seem tough. All the girls I know hate that.

Being polite to her, respecting her (as in, don't make jokes about women around her, don't treat her like an idiot or a slut, etc.), and giving her small compliments every once in a while (like, "I like your shirt" or "Your hair looks good today"). Don't overdo the compliments because that will creep her out, and avoid making comments about weight, even if it seems positive to you, like, "You look good; have you lost weight?" It implies that, at one point, she was fatter and less attractive, and losing weight has made her look sexier. Even if it's true, it will not please her.

If you are just starting to date her or woo her, small gifts are ok in moderation. Origami cranes or a single flower, or maybe a simple note written neatly on nice paper, are all good things. Don't buy expensive gifts, because that will scare off some girls. The girls that want expensive gifts right away are generally girls you want to avoid. Don't send her a huge bouquet of flowers in the middle of class unless you have been dating a while (and she likes public displays of affection)...but giving her a single rose, carnation, or other flower in the hallway is nice. It's also a great way to make it clear to a girl that you like her as more than a friend.

Just, generally, acting considerate and respectful toward a girl is likely to impress her. Although you need to also show that you are romantically interested her, or else she'll just consider you a polite friend.

Also, don't crush your personality around her because you are trying to be polite and gentlemanly all the time. That will not make a girl be attracted to you, because guys who are constantly polite aren't very interesting. Girls want guys who are interesting and also make them feel good about themselves.

Now, these tips wont work on every girl. Some girls want expensive gifts and guys who are jerks, but unless you are a jerk by nature or only interested in sex, don't bother with these girls.

Hope this helps. :)

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20/f

Okay so i work at a drugstore, in the front of the store, and we just got a new pharmacy intern a week ago. I swear that he is the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen..he makes me melt when I see him and gives me serious butterflies, kind of like a middle school crush. The issue is that hes very quiet and shy and I have a social anxiety disorder so us ever speaking at all to eachother isnt looking promising. Me approaching him is never going to happen no matter how bad I would like to due to my anxiety. So my questions are, how would I even know if he's interested? especially if he's shy..and how do I get him to notice me? I usually have no problem with guys but he's different, he's very very intimidating.

It's seems like you both have trouble approaching other people. He's probably just as intimidated at the idea of approaching you as you are about the idea of approaching him. You could try writing him a short note. It's kind of corny, but just saying something like, "Hi, you look like an interesting guy and I'd like to hang out with you, but I'm kind of shy" would probably work. Just hand it to him, maybe with a small smile, and walk away. If his quietness is due to shyness, it'll encourage him, knowing that you aren't going to outright reject him if he talks to you.

Or, if you have a particular coworker who loves matchmaker and/or is something of a mother hen, you could explain your situation and I'm sure he or she would throw the two of you into a very awkward situation...but neither of you would be responsible for setting it up, so it might help break the ice.

Personally, I'd prefer writing the note. :P

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Ok, so there's this guy who I text with. We have good communication he has asked me out before. But, it's this year that I like him. He had a girlfriend. And he broke up with her. And he knows I now, like him. He flirts with me, and he was going to kiss me while he had a girlfriend. But, I said no and got mad at him because he was in a relationship. Now, that he's single he doesnt talk to me about that or anything. Im the one that has to make a conversationo. And I try not texting him everyday, so he wont think Im obsessed or weird. So, I send him love notes. And he says they're cute and that I'm cute but, I think he doesnt like me because he doesnt tell me even though he knows I like him. So, I dont know what to do anymore..

Have you tried asking him out? This is the 21st century after all. Guys don't always have to make the first move these days.

But really, if he doesn't like you in a romantic way, there's no way to force it. If you already talk a fair amount and you've expressed interest in him, there's no magic way to make him interested. Maybe he liked you at one point, but moved on, or maybe he was confused. Maybe he's still confused. Directly ask him out, and if he's not interested, there's probably nothing you can do, and if that's the case, you should move on and find someone else.

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ok so there this guy and we went to middle school togeter and from middle school lots of girl like him when he first came in the 8th grade and im wasnt too interested even my friends liked him and i was kinda of a flirt with him but i didnt like him... so at gr 8 grad we had a dance and i was on my way to the bathroom and he asked my to dance.. well now it 3 year lter and we go to the same highschool and we dnt have classes together but im starting to like him but it not in physical is in a more deeper way i more then just friendship???? what is going on???

It sounds like you have a crush. That's totally normal, but be careful about it. Sometimes you can fall in love with the idea of a person even though you don't know much about them. Then when you get to know them, that picture of them that you had in your mind gets smashed to pieces.

Ask yourself, what do you really know about him? Things he likes or dislikes, personality traits, what he does in his spare time, that kind of thing. If you don't know much about him, that's ok. Just hang out with him (or even just talk to him online more often) and get to know him more, and then you can decide how you feel later on.

But don't jump into a relationship, or express feelings for him, all of the sudden after not being around him much for several years. That could end badly for both of you, or scare him off completely. Pace yourself. If you really like him and he likes you and you are a good match for each other, thing will probably work out in time. :)

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I am completely stuck. I have borderline personality disorder among many other mental disorders which leaves me majorly over sensitive with extreme trust issues and a poor self-image. My boyfriend knows this and tries to help me as much as possible with it but unfortunately his idea of playfully flirting with me is to joke about other girls and things along that line which are major triggers to my disorder. Although I can logically process the comments and know he's just flirting with me my emotions take control and I get extremely upset. I have no way of controlling this except to continue with my therapy and with intense treatment I will eventually be able to control my own emotions. My boyfriend and I have discussed this many times and he feels awful and has tried to stop but he still does it some. I was wondering if anyone else has this specific problem and what you have done about it outside of therapy that has helped reduce the extreme emotions provoked? This is really becoming an issue in an otherwise very stong supportive relationship.

One big thing is that you should keep talking to your boyfriend about it. It's a habit of his and it will be hard to break, but it will go away with time and reminders. So keep reminding him, even if it makes him feel bad. If he feels bad he'll make more effort to stop. Also, talking about how this feels to him is good because it will keep the frustration level low. I'm sure you know that when you let feelings sit and fester without saying anything, they tend to blow up...so make sure you talk to him while the hurt is still small and mostly insignificant. Talk to him every time it happens so you can keep your feelings out in the open and tame enough to manage together.

I haven't had your specific problem, but I have been in a similar situation. I was in love with a friend of mine who didn't love me back, and this friend was dating someone else. I was also extremely depressed at the time. So she would mention things about this guy she was dating, and it was agony to me! I kept reminding her that it hurt when she shared certain details (like her sex life and cute things he did for her) with me, but it took a lot of time for her to break the habit. She still did it on occasion.

Part of the solution was learning to cope with the jealousy and depression that would come from these incidents. A big part of coping was talking to my friend and my therapist, being as open as possible. That helped me vent my frustrations in a healthy way, so I didn't take it out on myself or my friend so much. She's still dating him two years later and plans to marry him...and of course I hear details that make me uncomfortable sometimes. But I've gotten way better at dealing with those things so it doesn't control my life anymore.

Coping with your emotions is hard and I know you're already working on it, but it may be the key here. Nobody's perfect and your boyfriend is bound to slip up and forget sometimes. You need to be able to tolerate those little mistakes, which means getting your thoughts and emotions to agree. Remind yourself that he loves you, that you are beautiful, and think whatever thoughts you can that would boost your self-confidence. Hopefully your thoughts and emotions will stop being two separate animals and start agreeing with each other more, so the logic can help change or at least lessen your emotional reaction.

Have you done cognitive behavioral therapy? It focuses on changing the way you think, so that you will benefit from therapy even when you can't actually see your therapist. It tries to change thoughts like, "I can't do this" to "I can do this, but it takes a ton of work" and "Everyone hates me" to "No one hates me, they just aren't sure how to talk to me because I'm shy." Basically, it tries to train your emotions and thoughts to agree with each other, so that one doesn't take control of the other and make you believe things that aren't true.

I guess I didn't tell you much that you didn't already know. :/ I hope it helped at least a little, anyway. Good luck with your therapy and with your relationship. I know you'll get better at this, just give it some time. :)

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i can never seem to meet any guys where i live. the guys at my school are not my type and i would never date any of them and same for them towards me but then when i meet other nice guys from different schools they are taken. its seems like i will never find anybody and im a junior in highschool and i need to have a relationship before highschool is over. can you give me advice

You don't need to have a relationship before you finish high school. It's not like all the guys in the world are going to disappear once you graduate, and dating really isn't something you have to do in high school. I'm 17, I've never had a boyfriend, and I have tons of friends who've never had a boyfriend. I'm graduating in May and going to college this fall...the fact that I haven't dated yet doesn't worry me at all.

When you get this desperate to find a boyfriend, you can find yourself in some really crappy relationships. Some guys seem to smell that need in girls and they will take advantage of it to use you and abuse you. Honestly, if you don't see anyone worth going out with, don't date. Why settle for less in a relationship? Guys can be real dicks and there's no point risking heartbreak for someone you didn't really care about to begin with. You should for someone who's worth your time and deserves your love.

Maybe you feel like you have to date because all your friends are, or something. I don't really know. But it doesn't have to be that way! Dating isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when you end up with the wrong guy. Bad boyfriends can make you feel insecure, worthless, and miserable. You shouldn't risk that unless you're sure you like someone. Just be patient even if your friends bug you about it. It's worth the wait. :)

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i am married and my ex girl friend harrasses me a lot. what should I do? she has made my life hell. she came to my work..harrassed me. she keep on calling me again and again. my marriage will broke. please advice me asap.
i am 40 year old male. living in vancouver. my email is amit4sep@gmail.com
amit

You should get a peace bond. Legally, your ex will be barred from visiting or contacting you. Here's a few resources to help you learn more:


http://www.pssg.gov.bc.ca/victim_services/publications/guides/PeaceBondsRestOrdersWEB.pdf (It says it's for women in the title, but it applies to anyone seeking a peace bond to escape harassment.)

http://www.ehow.com/how_4827846_file-restraining-order-canada.html

This wont totally stop your ex from harassing you because desperate, bored people are sure to find ways around it. However, it will stop all of these outright harassments at work, as well as some of the calls (I'm sure she'll start calling anonymously if possible).

Exes can be such nasty creatures. Best of luck with this. :(

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17/F
My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago because I'm not Christian. We had been dating for about 3 months, but we have been good friends for the last 3-4 years. I worried religion might be a problem before we dated, but he promised me it wouldn't become a factor in our relationship and he respected my beliefs. The first 2 months of our relationship went very well; we were both really happy and loved being with each other. It was after that when things started to change. After going to church one Sunday he told me it bothered him i wasn't christian. Of course i was angry, because he promised me religion wouldn't become a problem. He wanted me to go to church with him, but i refused; I wasn't going to change myself or do something i didn't want to do for a boy. We came to the conclusion that he would have to think about it, but I wasn't going to change for him. I spent that next month worrying about how he was feeling and worrying about him breaking up with me, because he seemed different. But he promised me everything was fine and he had no intention of breaking up.
Finally it happened; initially we wanted to take a break, but it quickly turned into a break up. I was devastated...we were so great together except for the religion part. I felt so deceived and lied to. He told me that "God told him to break up with me". I began to wonder if that was just a copout for him, because maybe he just didn't like me anymore and needed a better excuse. After all, how can anyone argue with God? So now, I feel extremely depressed. I miss him so much...he became my best friend. We were so involved in each others lives. I keep holding out this hope that he will realize he made a mistake and want me back, because i still want to get back together. I only wish that he could find whatever it was that allowed him to be with me regardless of religion in those first 2 months. He recently told me he would get back together with me if i became christian, and that hurts even more because I just can't do that. He also said he still wants to be good friends...but how can I do that when I still have such strong feelings for him? I know i should forget him and move on the way he seems to have moved on, but I'm finding that really difficult. I still love him. What now?

What a terrible situation to be in. There's an expression that says you should never discuss religion and politics with your friends, but when someone feels so strongly about their religion it's hard to keep it out. He isn't going to change, although maybe his feelings about dating you will. I really hope you wont give in and convert just for him, because where's the sincerity in that? It's not like you're suddenly going to become a strong believer like him. So where does that leave the two of you? You seem to be stuck.

You should talk to him and bring up my point about sincerity. I feel that you should never choose a religion because of peer pressure or fear of eternal punishment. You should choose a religion because you truly believe in it, and that's not something you can switch on and off for a guy. Is he really going to force a non-believer into church on threat of breaking up with her, then expect her to truly believe that religion?

I feel like following a religion without even believing it is a form of sacrilege. It's like you're trying to lie to God. I'm personally unsure of my religion, but there's a possibility that Christianity is real so I'm not going to go in and lie to God to save myself from a hell I only partly believe in. In the church I grew up in, they preached about "accepting Jesus into your heart". If you don't truly believe, there's no way you can Jesus like that. I wish your boyfriend would understand that.

Definitely talk to him about that. I'm not sure if it will do anything, but he needs to hear it. In the end, there's no way this relationship is going to work if one person tries to force the other person to change. Even if you give in, you wont be happy about it, and obviously there's no potential to get back together unless you do.

Personally, I've never thought this kind of forcing beliefs on your loved ones was very Christian. When the choice is,"Either be a Christian or I wont love you," how are you going to have a healthy relationship with either your boyfriend or God? People should never be forced into a religion because there's no way they're going to truly believe it when they're forced. People can try to force themselves to believe, but they'll definitely have doubts, and when they do they will certainly feel guilty for it. It's not fair and it's not a good way to spread one's religion.

Other than telling him these things, there's really nothing you can do unless he reconsiders his belief that a Christian shouldn't date a non-believer. I've known and heard of plenty cases where it worked, even between Christians and atheists. Heck, my best friend is Christian, her boyfriend is atheist, and they've been together for two years and plan to get married! But if he's decided that this is the absolute truth then no success stories are going to change his mind. And if he wanted you to change something so profound as your religion on his behalf, he will probably want you to change other things as well. Like, "Oh, that music is un-Christian, you shouldn't listen to it," or "A Christian woman wouldn't wear those clothes," and so on. That's not how a relationship works; it's take it or leave it, you don't get to keep the good parts and throw the bad parts in the garbage.

I know this is painful for you and you want it to work out somehow, but you need to move on. If you have close female friends, they can be very effective distractions right now as you struggle to forget him. Have sleepovers and pillow fights, go to movies together, whatever you can do as a group that takes your mind off of him. The love and the hurt will still be there, but they will lessen over time. Eventually, you can start looking for a new relationship with someone who loves you just as you are, rather than needing you to change in order to accept you. In the meantime, I hope you can distract yourself from the pain. Good luck.

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I'm kind of in a rut. I haven't been in a relationship in over a year, and I'm the kinda girl that is constantly in one, so for me this is very strange and lonely. I'm in college, and I've had two pretty serious hook up buddies: the first took my virginity, and we quickly dissolved after that, and the second we've been hooking up since the middle of october, so quite a long time. This second one is a really big relationship kind of guy, he gets pretty serious: his longest was 3 years, and the shortest 9 months. And I'm kind of starting to like him a little, and sometimes we do act like we're in a relationship. And I've told him I think I like him, and it hasn't stopped him from hooking up with me, if anything it has improved how he is towards me (he's a big giant jerk with a big soft heart if you dig deep).

My question is, should I stick it out with him and see where things may lead? Or stop everything with him and just wait around for a relationship?

Why don't you talk to him about it? Ask him if he wants to start a relationship with you or if he would ever be interested in one. After all, there's no point waiting for anything if he already knows he doesn't want that.

If he's interested, you two could try hanging out without any sexual contact. Go out dancing, go out to eat, or just sit down and talk to each other about whatever comes to mind. That will help you see if there's any connection between you other than sex.

If he says he's not interested in a relationship, you should probably move on and find someone else. If a serious relationship is what you want but not what he wants, there's no point staying with him. But you don't have to just wait around for a relationship. Be assertive! Go find that special guy, if you must. :) I hope things turn out well for you no matter what the two of you decide. Good luck!

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why cant i have a gurlfriend

I don't know. How old are you? Do your parents say you can't date anyone? Do you have trouble talking to girls? Do girls just not like you? It's hard to give advice without knowing anything about you. I think you should ask your question again with more information.

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my boyfriend (18) broke up with me (17) about 3 weeks ago. he did this because he had feelings for another girl..who was only 15. at the time he was talking to her he didnt know she was 15, he thought she was older. when he found out how young she was, he stopped talking to her.
i was pretty upset when he broke up with me, but he said he did it because he was confused, and the last thing he wanted to do was cheat on me, and in the end he ended up with nothing and regreted it all.
i snuck out tonight to see him and ended up having sex with him again. he said he was still confused but there might be a chance of us getting back together. i havent been able to concentrate on anything since he broke up with me, and i really want to be with him. i forgive him and want to take him back. should i be this forgiving?, or end it once and for all. i think he was using me tonight, which kills me, but i would do it again for sure..if i did break it off for good...i dont know how i would ever get over him...

No, this is not something you should just forgive. I know that hurts to hear, but really...step back from this situation for a moment and view it like a stranger would.

He broke up with you for another girl...then he stopped talking to her once he found out how old she was. He obviously didn't know her very well if he didn't know her real age, so he basically dumped you on a whim. Then he realized that she was 15 and dumped her because of how young she was. Is her age really that important? Yet again, he obviously didn't like her that much or know her that well, but still broke up with you for her.

Now he has no one and he knows he's screwed up. He was perfectly happy when he had the other girl, but now that he has no one he's going back to you (his second choice? his backup plan?). He's trying to get you back, and probably thinks he has a great chance of it. He probably thought that even before you had sex with him again. He says you "might have a chance" to get back together, as if you are somehow to blame? You should be the one saying that you may have a chance; he should be begging for you to take him back! He obviously doesn't feel very strongly for you, doesn't regret how he hurt you by breaking up with you, and will probably do this again when another pretty girl comes along.

Save yourself the heartache and move on. :/ There are lots of guys who wont do this to you and will care about you enough to stick with you even when some random girl catches their eye. This guy definitely doesn't deserve someone like you. And you deserve someone way better than him. :)

I know this is really hard for you to hear. I have a friend who would forgive her boyfriend for just about anything, even though he breaks her heart pretty much every week. It kills me to see her suffer like that. The people we love the most are the once who can hurt us the worst... But I guarantee you that this will not work out if you get back together. If you get back with him, you are only holding off the inevitable pain of breaking up with him. Getting over him will be hard, but wouldn't you rather do it now than after a second betrayal, when the pain is twice as bad and you feel twice as used? I can't tell you how to get over him; that's something you must do on your own. But I wish you luck and I really hope things work out well for you.

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Okay,im gonna make this short because its 1:oo in the morning but I really have to get some advice on this problem that i have.so lets begin.My ex bf have been trying to get back with me and its really starting to annoy me.He have screwed up with me so many times in the past and I juss cant take him back.But let me share with you the things he have done so you can get a better understanding of the type of person he is.First he cheated on me with his then ex girlfriend and then he left me for her.Then he started dating one of my closest friend..yeah that hurted like hell.But to make things worse i recently found out that he have also been running game to two more of my good friends.Can you say dog?! So lately I have been talking to a friend that him and i both share but they were friends first.And sum of you mite have guessed that I have fallin for this guy.I really like him and we have the best conversations.Im not a heartless girl and I dont like to hurt people on purpose but thats exactly whats gonna happen if i dont admitt my feelings. Should I tell my ex that im feeling his friend now? or should i just keep my feelings to myself? Do I give in to the dude who have hurted me so many times before or should i start fresh with someone that I really like? Help you guys becuase I really dont know what to do...

From what you've said, the answer seems clear to me. Start fresh. Your ex has had plenty of chances and he's screwed up all of them. He's hurt you over and over again...do you really want to get hurt again? Sure, his friend might end up hurting you, too, but at least you don't know that he will. Your ex seems almost guaranteed to hurt you again.

Really, this is one situation where I'm not sure you should keep talking to your ex. If he continues to press you to get back with him even after you have clearly said NO, he will probably keep at it until you eventually cave in out of frustration. Don't let that happen. You deserve someone better than him.

See how things go with his friend. You might be surprised. :) As for whether you should tell him...I think it will just make him mad no matter how he finds out. He probably wont leave you alone even after you say you have feelings for someone else, and it'll probably open up a big, nasty can of worms between him and his friend. You should tell his friend how you feel, first; if you two start dating, then you should both tell your ex together. Good luck.

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im almost 15 my bf is 15 and he's nervous about showing me his penis he says it's small i told him i love him for him i want to please him and do more like give him a handjob but hes insecure how do i get him more confident? how big does a guys penis get?

From what I can find on the internet, the average size is between 5 and 6 inches. If you're curious, you could always google it. Beware of the results you might get, though. There may be pictures. -_-

Honestly, you can't force him to show you and pressuring him might make him even more shy about it. Just remind him that you love him no matter what size he is and that you are willing to wait for when he's ready. Have a little patience: I'm sure you'd feel awkward, too, if you were in his situation. :)

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my best friend is going to a school dance with my crush, but only as friends. He likes her, but she does not know her feelings towards him. I really like this guy, but i don't want to hurt my best friend either, what should i do... p.s. i need an answer FAST! thanks!!

pretty N confused

If he already likes your best friend, there probably isn't much you can do. You can't force someone to like you and it's really hard to break up that chemistry once it starts.

Your friend knows that you like this guy, right? I think you should let her go to the dance with him if she wants to. It's always possible that things wont work out between them or that they'll never start a relationship in the first place.

The bottom line is, you can't force this guy to like you back and it would be pretty mean of you to force your friend not go to the dance with him on your behalf. BUT, that doesn't mean you shouldn't tell your friend how uncomfortable it makes you feel that she's going with him. Maybe she will decide not to go because of how you feel and maybe she wont. In the end, there isn't much you can do.

Try not to get mad at her if she chooses to go with him or even date him later on. That's why it's important that you talk calmly with her about how uncomfortable the whole mess makes you. If you do, you are less likely to explode later on from all the little things you've been holding in, and she is less likely to hurt your feelings without even realizing it. Good luck. :)

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Ok so my ex and i broke up last month because of a rumor that wasn't even true but we both still really like each other alot. we text each other all the time but he got grounded from his phone for about a week and when he got it back i asked him why he was grounded, he told me that his phone was calling his mom while he was getting a blowjob...... and im like what the heck!! I mean he keeps saying he is going to ask me back out but he doesn't if he does this when he is single Im scared to find out what he would do when he is in a relationship. But if he ask be back out idk what i would say. What should I think? What should I say? please help me. Im 14 and Female

and P.S. im to young to worry about anything close to that so if he thinks I will do any of that then I will say NO!

You broke up over a rumor, and then he got a BJ even though he still really liked you? Something smells fishy there. It sounds like he wanted to brag about the BJ to you and maybe give you a hint that you need to match that level of sexual contact if you two get back together. I'm proud of you for being tough about that and not giving in! Just beware that it seems like that's what he's looking for. Go with what your heart says; if you're scared then you probably have good reason to be.

There are plenty of nice guys out there, guys that don't get blowjobs between relationships and then tell their ex-girlfriends about it. -__- Be patient and you'll find one. In the meantime, I suggest that you not get back together with this guy. :/

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I really need to find out whats wrong with me. Im almost 17 and ive never had a bf or my first kiss. Not to sound conceited, but TONS of people talk about how "gorgeous" and "nice" I am. Some people WONT even beleive me when i tell them ive never had a bf. I always see these nasty, uglier, RUDE girls get ALL these guys. But ive never even had one. I guess maybe its cuz im shy around people i dont know, but if you talk to me im NOT. Ive became more outgoing and flirted with guys.. but i cant seem to find anyone im actually interested in. I just wanna know what it feels like to have a bf. (I dont just want one to have one.) I feel almost like im missing out on my teen years. Sometimes i even get depressed thinking im doing something wrong. Any advice?

I'm almost 18 and I've never had a boyfriend. It's not as weird as you think. A lot of girls don't get their first boyfriend until they're in college, so don't worry about it too much. Those rude girls might be getting all the guys, but how long do those relationships last? Probably like a week or two, right?

Not having a boyfriend doesn't say anything bad about you. Most guys are just interested in sex right now, so personality doesn't matter so much. :P Take your time and find someone who loves you for your heart and your mind, not your face and what's between your legs. Trust me, it'll be worth the wait.

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