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taking back the ex?
my boyfriend (18) broke up with me (17) about 3 weeks ago. he did this because he had feelings for another girl..who was only 15. at the time he was talking to her he didnt know she was 15, he thought she was older. when he found out how young she was, he stopped talking to her.
i was pretty upset when he broke up with me, but he said he did it because he was confused, and the last thing he wanted to do was cheat on me, and in the end he ended up with nothing and regreted it all.
i snuck out tonight to see him and ended up having sex with him again. he said he was still confused but there might be a chance of us getting back together. i havent been able to concentrate on anything since he broke up with me, and i really want to be with him. i forgive him and want to take him back. should i be this forgiving?, or end it once and for all. i think he was using me tonight, which kills me, but i would do it again for sure..if i did break it off for good...i dont know how i would ever get over him...
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This sounds like almost a repeat of my x boyfriend who I thought I was in love with and dumped me after doing a lot with me for someone younger and extremely trashy. He tried to get back with me later and regretted his choice and I gave him another chance because I was still in love with him and couldn't forget about him but it only made him go back to his old tricks and made me take even longer to get over him and end up even more hurt. I know it's hard but if he did it once he'll do it again. I would end it now before you get really badly hurt.
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Her being 15 or any other older age is not significant here, i mean, if she wasn't 15, and if she was older, he would have left you and started seeing her, its the concept in general that he broke up with you to be with someone else, no matter who this person is or how old is she. It doesn't make him any better or less wrong that he stopped talking to her when he found out about her age. And about him ending up all alone and regretting everything is exactly what he deserved, cause he hurt you and left you just like that.
About the sex part, i know how it can be hard to let go of it, especially if the sex is good and stuff, and you still have feelings for him and care about him,but these feelings make you blind to accept that he hurt you and since he let you go once, he could do it twice and thrice and as many times as you would stoop down your dignity and respect and still forgive him and take him back. So don't take him back, and i mean, why are you even having sex with him if he isn't your boyfriend anymore? I mean, if you lead him on and show him that its okay to have sex while your not dating, then why would he ever take you back if he's already getting what he wants when he's single.
There is nothing called 'I'm confused', it just doesn't work that way, its obvious he doesn't truly love you, because if he did, he would've never looked to another girl or even broken up with you to be with someone else.
There are so many better people than him out there who deserve you, and these guys would really love you and care for you and you could have all the sex you want with them,but when you have it, you'd know that your sharing it with the person you love and you'd know that he loves you back and that he wouldn't just let go of you any moment and walk away.
Break it off, for good, and don't lose your dignity and respect to someone like that, and yes he's using you and he's not a good person, so don't lead him on, and you move on. Think of the bad things and how he hurt you and is continuing to hurt you by sleeping with you with the excuse that he's confused. That's no excuse.
Hope i helped, if you need to talk more or if there are any other updates, please be free to contact me. Best of luck!
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No, this is not something you should just forgive. I know that hurts to hear, but really...step back from this situation for a moment and view it like a stranger would.
He broke up with you for another girl...then he stopped talking to her once he found out how old she was. He obviously didn't know her very well if he didn't know her real age, so he basically dumped you on a whim. Then he realized that she was 15 and dumped her because of how young she was. Is her age really that important? Yet again, he obviously didn't like her that much or know her that well, but still broke up with you for her.
Now he has no one and he knows he's screwed up. He was perfectly happy when he had the other girl, but now that he has no one he's going back to you (his second choice? his backup plan?). He's trying to get you back, and probably thinks he has a great chance of it. He probably thought that even before you had sex with him again. He says you "might have a chance" to get back together, as if you are somehow to blame? You should be the one saying that you may have a chance; he should be begging for you to take him back! He obviously doesn't feel very strongly for you, doesn't regret how he hurt you by breaking up with you, and will probably do this again when another pretty girl comes along.
Save yourself the heartache and move on. :/ There are lots of guys who wont do this to you and will care about you enough to stick with you even when some random girl catches their eye. This guy definitely doesn't deserve someone like you. And you deserve someone way better than him. :)
I know this is really hard for you to hear. I have a friend who would forgive her boyfriend for just about anything, even though he breaks her heart pretty much every week. It kills me to see her suffer like that. The people we love the most are the once who can hurt us the worst... But I guarantee you that this will not work out if you get back together. If you get back with him, you are only holding off the inevitable pain of breaking up with him. Getting over him will be hard, but wouldn't you rather do it now than after a second betrayal, when the pain is twice as bad and you feel twice as used? I can't tell you how to get over him; that's something you must do on your own. But I wish you luck and I really hope things work out well for you.
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