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I can't gurantee that my advice will always be right. And some things I might not even know. But I will do my best to answer any questions :] I'll tell you exactly what i think, so if you don't like it, dont read it!And lately, i've discovered that one of the best answers for relationship problems is communication. talk. explain. share. it does wonders.
advice
I'm an American I'm 17 years old and I need some good advice?i really like this guy and he likes me too. We haven't done anything together we hung out a lot but it was more like friends we were still shy to do anything with eachother but we stopped talking for awhile and he fell in love with someone else they broke up and now I still want to be with him. I don't know how to show him how much he means to me?we talk still but not about our relationship.
I apologize for the extremely late response.
If you still care about him and he's not actively pursuing someone else, you should tell him how you feel. You should take the initiative in this case to not only show him how much he means to you, but that you want to be in a relationship with him. He might not realize that your mutual feelings can progress into an actual relationship so it'd be up to you to take the first step in that direction. I realize it might be difficult, especially since the guy is always assumed to be the assertive one, but sometimes the girl has to take charge too.
I don't know if your situation has changed since you asked this question. If so, let me know and I'll try to give more advice?
15, boy
I think out of all of my friends, I'm probably the only one that hasn't had a girlfriend. Is that weird? I'm a really independent person and I'm not really into any girls. It's almost like there isn't anyone worth going out with at school. I'm also pretty picky so it feels like I have no chance.
When people would ask me why I didn't have a girlfriend, my usual response was that I was so busy and didn't have time for that stuff, or that no one would really like me that much. I mean, I really don't know if any girl would want to go out with me. I'm really tall for my age, I'm in marching band, I'm one of 3 guys on my swim team, and I run track. I get really good grades as well, so basically I'm the typical nerd, or thats what people say. haha.
Most of my friends have had girlfriends before, and they usually end in as a train wreck. They always tell me that I'm not missing out on anything, but sometimes I'd like to know what it's like. Is it really as great as some people say, or is it just a waste of time?
You're only what, fifteen? there's no rush or competition for getting a girlfriend. It's not weird if you don't have a girlfriend; I think the fact that kids younger and younger are getting into relationships is just pushing it. Most people start going out just to see what it's like to have a boyfriend/girlfriend; it's not really about love or anythinga anymore. I'm seventeen and I haven't exactly gotten a boyfriend yet. Some of my friends have and I've seen almost all of them crash and burn. So there's nothing wrong with waiting. Sometimes it helps lead to a better, longer lasting first relationship. My friends would advise that you wait till college, but I don't see a problem in going out with someone in high school, though i'd say wait until you think you're actually ready and not about to dive headfirst into a relationship without being sure about it.
Being picky is good, it means you have standards and arent willing to go after anything that wears a skirt (or any metaphor like that). And most people think that there are few choices at there schools. My friends and I have decided that there isn't anyone worth going out at our school (though it's not as true anymore). The fact that you're a 'typical nerd' doesn't mean girls wont be interested in you. I for one would go out with a guy taller than me and/or a guy who did all the things you do and still manage good grades.
Depending on the people, a relationship can be really great or it can be a waste of time. I wouldn't dive into a relationship just to 'have a girlfriend/boyfriend'. Waiting for the right person might seem frustrating or a long time, but in the end, it's better than just going out with someone you have mild feelings for just to see what a relationship is like. Don't worry about not having a girlfriend and having high standards. When you finally get a girlfriend who you really love and stay with for a long time, the wait will seem worth it. Even if it's years from now, because you are willing to wait for the right girl, I hope you find her =)
my boyfriend said he had to go and that he loved me and i didn't want him to leave and i told him if he left i would dump him. he still signed off, and i dumped him on the phone. and then i called him again and he hung up on me.
who did the wrong thing? me or him? did i over react because he had to go? or was it him?
=/ i feel like crap. i think i overeacted
how can i tell him how much he means to me?
umm as harsh as this might sound: yeah you overreacted. You can't stop your boyfriend from leaving if he has to go; threatening to dump him over something that small is just ridiculous. It's just unreasonable on your part. It makes it seem like you don't care about making the relationship last.
Talk to him tomorrow (if you see him) or if you call him and he doesnt pick up, leave a voicemail explaining that you were overreacting and that you are sorry. Email or note helps too. Apologize about overreacting and tell him how much he really means to you. You might want to mention to him that you want more of his attention and next time, dont dump him over something that small. It makes a relationship hard to deal with.
last night i was at a party that my girlfriend dropped me off at because she trusts me, but i got really drunk and cheated on her, now she doesnt know anyone that was at that party, and if i dont tell her, shell never know, but i feel guilty because she does trust me, but the whole reason i dont wanna tell her, not so im not the bad guy or not so she dont leave me, but because it will hurt her, and i really do love her so thats the last thing i want to do. overall im not a cheater, i was really drunk and would never have done it sober. should i tell her??
i find it amusing that you give everyone who told you not to tell her a 5 and those who told you to tell her got 3s.
Let's put it this way. If she somehow finds out about it from someone besides you, she'll be even more devastated. She will be hurt probably, but she will get over it. And it could cause a better understanding and trust to form between you two since you were willing to admit your mistake even in face of losing her trust. Contrary to you not telling her, it will cause a gap to form between you and her, whether unconsciously or not. Buying her a present will make you feel better, not her. It'll only be something nice you did for her and have no real meaning. Seeing that you were drunk, she should understand. People do stupid things when plastered.
On the other hand, you could not tell her and have this dark secret that is always between you and her. She might not know, but you do and it'll eat away at you. She'll love you, trusting you, not knowing that you really betrayed her the one night you got drunk. Too soon, the feeling of guilt will overwhelm you every time you see her laughing unknowing face. You'll end up telling her and she'll become upset that you choose THEN to her and not right after it happened. She'll ask you why. why you couldnt trust her enough to tell her earlier and why you did it and then kept it a secret.
Think about it. If you love her as much as you say you do, then you would tell her. It will hurt, after all betrayal always hurts, but it will save your relationship from shattering if she were to find out later and through different means. Dark secrets are the ban of relationships and your secret can lead to things that you wish never happened.
(Sorry if this is too long, but I'm just a 17-year-old girl who has no idea what she's doing in this area of her life :3 Never had a boyfriend [or girlfriend for that matter] before, mainly because... I just didn't want one enough to go out and seek one.)
So I've been best friends with this guy for at least five years. However, ever since we've met, he's had a huge crush on me--I'm not sure if it's been on/off or continuous, though he has had a couple of short-term relationships while I've known him. I kind of had a crush on him once or twice, but I never asked him out because, at the time I did like him, I was unsure of whether he liked me or not.
Anyway, now we're both 17, and he likes me, though I've kind of grown asexual and I don't particularly care for anyone in that sort of way. So today, he asks me if I want to go see a play at his church; I don't go to that church (I'm not even his same religion), but I'm good friends with some of the other people in his youth group so I said sure. The night passes on, and as he's driving me home, he asks me to be his girlfriend. I kind of sputter for a second, but finally I just say sure.
Now I don't know what to do. I love him as a friend, and a part of me says that I might as well go out with him--that I even owe it to him (we have a kind of "he buys me food every once in a while and I don't release my undead feline minions upon him" relationship). However, I really don't want to hurt him by just breaking up with him in the end. I'm a senior in a public high school and (hopefully) I'll be going to an art college after I graduate (if not out-of-state, definitely out-of-town). He's homeschooled and doesn't have much of a desire to go to any college, so I'll be leaving this town in a few months anyway, but...
The truth is, I have no idea if I like him or not. It's not a definite "yes or no" question--on the one hand, he's the first guy in my life who's ever asked me out without being a complete sleezeball; but on the other, I don't know if I like him for anything more than a friend.
So what I'm trying to ask is this: is there anyway I can find out if I really like him or not, preferably before I hurt him? And if I don't like him, how can I tell him without using the whole "I like you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend" routine? (Most guys I know absolutely hate that, and I can understand why.) Help, please?
(Once again, sorry for the "tl;dr"-ness of this question. Kind of utterly baffled here.)
haha im in the same situation right now, except this guy i've only known this year but we've gotten to become really good friends and he just told me he was interested in me today (valentines day curse! haha. My advice summarized is to think. consider. look at everything you've done with him, what you've felt around him.
I asked a few of my guy friends and this is what i got from them:
Don't take action, like don't go out with him until you have a clearer image of what you want, because if you go out with this guy and things mess up then its going to be hard keeping a friendship with the guy. You guys might find reasons of annoyance and get sick of each other or one of you guys suddenly lose interest or stopped liking the other.
I would say don't go out with anyone until college because once you enter college you don't know what the hell is going to happen. Do you think you can keep a long distance relationship? I'd advise to wait until college because then you would or might like someone else, or slip out in a long distance relationship if you guys split up and end up going to different colleges. And if the guy demands you go to the same college as him that becomes a problem. Ask yourself, are you willing to follow him or would you want to do your own things instead.
And NEVER go out with someone based on obligation or because you 'think you should'. It wont work out and it always ends with horrible feelings between people.
he cheated on me. hes with the girl he wanted and wont leave me alone and still bugs me for liking guys. hes really jealous and annoying! is it because he still cares about me and loves me?
16/f
i have this exact problem. It's because he still wants you even though hes with this other girl. He wants more than he should have so if i were you (like the two people below me), i'd stay away from/ignore him. If he still cares about you/loves you its only because he's being greedy and wants you along with the other girl.
This guy and I have liked each other for so long and this summer was awesome we were like gf and bf and then things died out. Like every month i would phone him to see how he was and we would talk for ages and yet he wouldnt talk to me in school. So A few weeks ago i invited him over and honestley its like awesome we were all cuddly and like a couple and then he left. Then at school, ignores me and then sometimes he talks to me and he's like 'u ok?' and i've been like 'umm yeh' but he promised to take me to the cinema and he didnt and then he promised to come over on Friday and he didnt. Should I confront him, thing is if i do- i will have to be drastic and say ' Look if you care for me, if you really care, you will put effort in as a friend, otheriwse i cant see this friendship working out?' and im scared he will be like 'whatever' and not talk to me again. He said to me ' we will always be friends if not more' and he's a sincere person- im really confused.
I think you should definitely confront him. Just letting things go along as they are isn't going to get you anywhere. You're going to have to do something about it or things will just stay this way. Chances are if he still wants to be friends with you, he wil listen and explain his actions. You need to talk to him about keeping his promises and why he ignores you at school. If hes going to be friends with you, he's going to have to associate with you outside of school and in school. If he chooses to instead ignore you and break off your friendship, then move on and find better people. As heartbreaking as it will be, you can get better friends who will always be there for you and keep their promises. But if he's as sincere and such as you say, then i think things will work out for you guys.
i love my bf 2 death bit i dont like kissing him is that wierd? like bein around him i get butterflys but kissing him its like eh nuthing. is it bad that i told him this? and duz this mean i dont reely like him?
Not wanting to kiss him has nothing to do with whether or not you really love him. Kissing is just another part of relationships and it IS possible to have one without kissing (obviously most people dont not kiss). Kissing is just another way to show affection. It just could be that hes a bad kisser, his breath smells, etc that makes you not want to kiss him. Telling him might be a good thing so that he doesnt constantly wonder why you dont kiss him anymore. But yeah, not wanting to kiss him doesnt mean you dont love him still.
okay this is kind of complicated but here it goes, i was talking to this guy online for awhile. me being 17, and him telling me he was 18. my feelings for him were becoming strong, and we decided to meet up. when we did, he wasn't the person he told me he was. he was actually 36 years old!! and told me that he also had 2 kids!! but that their mother was out of the picture. putting the age difference aside... even though he had lied to me about a lot of things, i had already fallen for him, and forgave him. we haven't been seeing each other anymore, but still talk, and had planned on getting together when i turned 18. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE THIS DECISION. that's not what i'm here for. when i found out he had a 14 year old daughter, i searched for her on myspace and found her. i requested her as a friend, and after looking at her page a few times found out that she has a STEP MOM and a STEP BROTHER that also live with them! i was so heartbroken. i still haven't told him that i found out because i don't want him to know i was "snooping", even though i think that is something i deserve to know. so now, a normal person would probably be thinking "how can i get rid of this freak?!" but i am so in love with him that all i'm thinking is "i hope he chooses me and gets rid of his wife in may!!" i know i should stop talking to him, but its soo hard. i fell in love with him before i knew about all the lies and now it's just too hard to walk away. what should i do???
The answer is simple. Forget about him. For one thing he's still married and i dont think you'd want to be his mistress. That can result in a lot of lawsuits and trouble. And his daughters almost the same AGE as you. Do you think he wont treat you like he would treat his daughter? ANd if you do get together with him, do you think his daughter would treat you like a mom? especially when you're only 3 years older? Chances are she'll resent you for barging in on their family and becoming her dad's lover. And i really doubt he'd abandon his kids for you. Get over him, get rid of him, he is so not worth your time. if he can lie to your once or more about really important matters, he can lie to you again and again about little things. If i were you,i'd find someone closer to your own age who will love you and wont lie to you.
I like this kid paul and he likes me back, but we aren't going out. what are things i can do to get him to like me more and ask me out?
well if you know that he likes you, you can always take the initative and ask him out! Theres nothing wrong with girls asking guys out nowadays. Or if you're too shy to do that sort of thing, have your friends 'mention' to him that you're interested in going out with him. Or you can just leave hints and stuff =)
okay so im 16/f and im a junior.
and i like this kid whos a freshman i know how awful is that? but i mean hes supposed to be a sophmore. so its not that bad. but yeah. and my friend said i should invite him to junior prom. and i know thats a long way away. but would it be kinda dorkish to bring a freshman to junior prom??
thanks in advance.
=)
i concur with the first person. Who says girls have to go with guys who are older? It doesnt matter that much. If you want to go with a younger guy, you should. There's nothing wrong with it at all!
Me= 17/f Him= 15 almost 16/m
We're dating.
He's indecisive(sp?)
Making stupid choices..
He's breaking my heart..
It hurts so bad...
I can't let go..
How do I?
Help? =[
I have the same issue though it's a bit more complicated. I'll be 17 in december and he's still 15. His unwillingness to make certain decisions has been just giving me headaches. You really need to talk to your boyfriend. I've ended up having to talk to my guy several times and it turns out that he has the same insecurities as me (i.e dating an older girl/what his friends would think). It makes things easier when you guys understand each others feelings and fears in the relationship. He might think that he's the only one worried about your relationship and not realize that he's breaking your heart by not being able to make decisions. Chances are that he's insecure about your relationship which means you should definitely talk to him about it. It might also depend on.. are you senior or junior? Because it might be that he's worried about you graduating before him and how the relationship will last then and such. but yeah, the best advice i can offer is communication.
If you want to talk more about it, since i kind of know how you feel, then feel free to IM me (:
I am a 20 year old guy, who just happens to really like a girl who will be 17 in three months time.
i do beleive she likes me, but when I try to ask if she would like to do something, her parents always seem to have reasons why not. When I ask her about things, she seems to genuinly intrested, but can't. Am I better off to ingore these feelings, and move on, or is this worht pursuing?
It doesnt seem like you should give up so easily. You should talk to her parents, reassure them of any fears thy have of their daughter dating an older guy (though by standards you're just three years older.. which isnt that bad, just the numbers look scary). Plus if she likes you back, then i say this is definitely worth pursuing. why give up so fast? It just seems like her parents are worried about her, thats all.
Just out of pure curiosity, if a girl is dating a guy and say she's 16 and he's 17. When the guy turns 18, legally do they have to break up?
Thanks, Female, 14.
not really.. if you're thinking of the 'pedophile' issue, there's actually a calculation or something that you can do to see if he would be a pedophile.. but legally, you dont have to break up if you're a 16 year old dating a 18 year old. I'm pretty sure about that.
I am very sad!!
Last night my bf asked me if I think that I was ready for marriage ..I was surprise and happy of course .He just pop up with the question if I love him and if I want to marry him one day .
I said yes ...I was really happy.
After that we kept on talking about marriage and stuff than I told him that If I ought to marry him I want to keep my own lastname ....He got really mad and told me that he doesn't like my desicion.
The real reason why I wouldn't like his lastname is that his parents has the same last name and they really hate me and do really bad and nasty stuff to me .THEY HURT ME A LOT,
It's really hard for me to go around with the lastname of my biggest enemies
I love my bf ..we had been A LOT to be togheter ..his parents did the imposible things to seperate us ..They are really jealous about their son.
The second reason is that my dad has more than 5 childrens and he only gave me his lastname ..I'm proud to have this lastname and I really don't want to change it..
Can anyone understand me ?????
I don't want to hurt him but how to explain to him this strange feeling ?
I'm really sad ..
well, you should definitely explain to him what you just said here. your boyfriend shouldnt get so pissed, but he does seem to have a right to be mad.. in marrying him you get his last name and enter his family.. maybe you can have your name ajoined with his.. like "jane smith marries adam jones = jane smith jones"? I think you should take his last name someway anyway, cuz then wouldnt that piss his parents off even more? Because now you're a part of their family and have their last name.. and they can't do anything about it.
i really want a date for homecoming. a few of my friends have dates, and although i heard it is better to go with friends, i would love to have a date. everyone is talking about taking pictures and going out for dinner with there dates, and color coordinating what they wear. and i really want that too! there are some guys that i think like me, but im wondering if maybe they are too shy to ask me or something. how can i seem more approachble without seeming desperate for a date! and please dont tell me u dont need a date and its better without one. because i know that but i just want a date lol! please help me..thanks! btw im 14/f
You can ask them without seeming desperate for a date! Just ask casually if they're going to homecoming and if they might and dont have a date, ask if they might want to go with you since you dont have a date either. It's nothing that scary or embarrassing :) If you 'just want a date', at least ask a friend you're comfortable with or you'd be willing to dance with. If you go with someone you dont really know well or might not be comfortable with, homecoming will definitely not be as great as you'd hope. If you still have weeks before homecoming, dont worry too much. Some guys will probably start asking you right before homecoming week.
Hi, I have a girlfriend named Dorothy. well, i dont know if i even have a girlfriend anymore. At the beginning of the summer we were completely for each other than she went on Vacation back to her home country in Vietnam. We emailed and i called her every once in awhile, but as the summer went by it took her longer and longer to Email me back eventually she dint even respond back to any of my emails.
At first i wasnt mad. I was thinking shes probly having alot of fun its okay. but when she got back i called her many times no answer. We're in this club and we had a meeting and i tried to talk to her and she would only answer me. Now i dont even know whats going on anymore. Are we still together? Or what?
People have been telling me to Just talk to her but i cant even get a hold of her should i just give space?
well, it seems like something happened while she was on vaction in vietnam. maybe she met a guy or something happened that caused her to rethink having a relationship with you? It looks like she's starting to avoid you for some reason.
in this situation, giving space definitely doesnt look like a good idea. If you give her too much 'space', you might end up distancing yourselves too much. Whomever told you to talk to her was right. You should definitely try to talk to her, even if she's avoiding you. By giving her space, you still dont know whats going on and at the same time risk losing her.
My advice would be try to find a way to talk to her. Even if she avoids you, persist in trying to get a hold of her... she cant really run forever. Talking to her in person is best. Try doing it before or after the club meeting? Or maybe before or after school.
It seems like things might not work out though, so dont be too depressed if things dont happen the way you want them to, ok?
I hope things work out for you; tell me how it goes. If you need anymore help or if my advice just sucked, feel fre to messag me!
I like this one guy, well call him Joe. Well joe likes me back. But joe is good friends with my ex-boyfriend, who still really likes me and were still friends. My best friend told me not to go out with Joe because my ex would be sad. And she also said she would be sooo mad at me because my ex is so perfect for me(acording to her and no one else). I really wanna date joe but i fear my ex and my bff will me mad.
to tell you the truth, why give a care about what your ex-boyfriend or bff thinks? It's your life and you should be allowed to go out with whomever you want. Besides, why the heck would your bff be MAD at you because your ex is so perfect for you? apparently he wasn't since he's your ex now and your boyfriend. So, if you want to, date joe. Ignore what your bff or ex thinks, because it's not their choice, it's yours.
i feel so weird because im 15 and i havent had my first kiss yet. is this normal?
haha dont worry about it; it's totally normal. i'm 16 and i havent had my first kiss yet and i know a lot of girls who havent been kissed yet, some older than me. Besides, dont be so eager to lose your first kiss yet!
1)okay so this girl first asks for my email add then my phone number,then one day i waved at her in school and she was absolutely shy and looked down the whole time.Now we are talking on msn.so does she like me?or is she just naturally shy and wants to be just friends?
2)But what i don't get about girls is that you know how some girls are outgoing and super friendly?So she may talk to you a lot and like you or maybe just talk to you cause she is just being friendly to you as she is to the other guys.So is their a way to know?I mean,if a girl talks to a guy a lot,does that mean that she's interested in him?cause it doesn't really make any sense for a girl to talk a lot to a guy since girls mostly mix with girls and vice versa, plus girls mostly talk about girls stuff which guys know nothing of,unless he's gay.
:1: it sounds like she either really wants to be friends with you or she does like you as more than a friend. it's hard to tell from what you said, but it sounds like she might like you, especially since she asked for your phone #... but you'll need more 'signs' to be sure.
:2: well, does the girl talk to one guy especially a lot or all her guy friends? Usually even if a girl talks to guys a lot already, the way she'll talk to the guy she likes is 'different' in a way. There are other signs like blushing, stammering, etc that girls wont show around guy friends. I for one talk to guys a lot since a majority of my friends are guys.. so i guess it depends on the girl?