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Last year I got out of a super narcissistically abusive relationship, It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through and I told myself I wouldn’t date for a while. During my healing process I met someone else who’s been super good to me. I opened up about my past traumas and he was beyond understanding and patient with me, he made It clear that he liked me, but I told him I wanted to take It slow and get to know him more before we got into a relationship. He was understanding and still took me on nice get aways, showed up on my doorstep with flowers and cute notes, took me on cute dates, and complimented tf outta me. He did everything my ex didn’t do. Finally after a while, I agreed to be his girlfriend everything has been great except for the fact that he has a TON of female friends, all of them are very attractive and he talks to them on a daily basis. My feelings are starting to progress for him and I can’t help but be uncomfortable with it. Some of these friends are in relationships, others are single, a lot of them are bartenders that he met when he was single. I’ve met a vast majority of his female friends, but some of them give me a vibe that they wouldn’t care if he’s in a relationship. Everytime I get on Instagram he’s liking other women’s photos. I’ve cried to him about how uncomfortable this makes me, he tells me he understands and i have nothing to worry about. He even deleted his Instagram app, but downloaded It again 4 days later and is back to liking every girls photo again. I have been cheated on in my past and I can’t help but feel like it’s gonna happen again. Besides him being super friendly with other women he’s perfect to me and I’m confused about It. I’m trying to convince myself that these women really are just friends, but my gut is telling me otherwise especially when these women talk to him as much as I do. Everytime we go out to eat he’s requesting female waiters that he knows to serve us, literally every restaurant we go to it’s like this. My family has met him and they’re in love with him every time I talk to them about this they tell me “I don’t think he’s gonna cheat on you” but I can’t help but have my guard up. I care about him so much and i don’t want to lose him I’m just at a loss at what to do, I’ve already talked about It and I feel crazy every time I do. Am I just being insecure? Am I letting what I have been through in my past control me too much? Should I be okay with all these female friends or is this feeling of jealousy normal? Can a straight man really be JUST friends with that many females and not want more? HELP

I believe your past relationship is playing a role in your thought process about him. Like you current BF I too had a lot of girl friends when I met my wife. I dated none of them as many where co-workers. When we married my wife said to me, "You can look at the menu but if you ever sample I will cut something of very importance off you" That was 48 years ago and while I have looked I have never sampled and the only bed I've shared is with my wife.

Not all men cheat and not all women take lovers. Most men and women do like to admire the other sex and have friend, close friends of the opposite sex. This does not mean they are not committed to the relationship they are in or that the would cheat on their partner.

My suggestion is to find a good psychologist and talk with them and bring some closer to your past relationship. Without talk therapy to finalize and move on you will always have your doubts about any relationship.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks for the advice
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