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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I'm 25 and I was molested around the age of 3-6 approximately (definitely 7 and below.) It was one time period of where my father when watching porn on the television. Saw me on the bed when it was on and he touched me inside my underwear with his hands. The second time in this one time period. I'd guess within the week, he touched me again but with the vibrator that was advertised on the porn from when he had touched me with his hand the first time. I was taken into care at age 7, a week prior to my birthday of turning 8, and I had all sorts of tests done on me. There was suspicion of sexual abuse but when they asked me, I didn't talk. I was also diagnosed as a select mute. It's all documented, and I had to take therapy to get me to talk and learn how to speak correctly. My biological father also walked around the house/apartment/motel/hotel, where-ever we lived for I don't remember quite well, butt-naked. I saw him like that a lot and the image is seared in my mind. He was disgusting. He even bought women's thongs because he liked their role better in the filth. I opened up to few over the years of what happened but I never considered pressing charges of any kind. Is there still something that can be done and do I have any evidence other than my word and reports of suspicion? I don't think I have strong enough evidence. There was no sign of penetration but there was discharge. (Sorry I know that's gross details but give mind I was 8 when I had these tests.) I don't remember him putting his fingers inside; only touching the outside. There's no evidence, right? It's too many years ago? He also lives in another state now. Charges would bring him here, right? Is there a case here?
-Also, going to court means my eyes have to see him, right? I gave him a second chance as an adult to have a part in my life. I have an idea why but it was an insane thing for me to do for what he had done. I had hoped he was a better man. I had confronted him years later about what he did to me in my childhood. He mourned and said he was sorry only when I confronted him alone. I had told someone else what had happened and he got word of it, he denied it ever happened. He said I was a liar and made it up. That makes me want to have some justice although I know he will get his justice in front of God. That is if he never repents and gets saved. He couldn't even repent to me. He said he was sorry but it was like he had taken it back when it put him in the judgement seat. He couldn't take any punishment for what he had done. Let alone that he wasn't a bigger man by not coming to me and apologizing. I had to go to him. I had to tell him that it hurt me.
There's also the crime of when I was under 7, I'd say 3-4, where he took a knife to me. My mom told me I ended up in a hospital and she faced the criminal charges of what had taken place. She didn't even do it.
Is there anything I can do now? It says in my state that there's no limitations to molestation and it's exactly 18 years of when I was taken into care. Could something still be done? It's also documented I was a select mute. He lives in another state now. I don't want to bring him here nor see him.
He's gotten worse or manifesting as what he was again. He's got all sorts of young, busty women on his facebook page. It's gross. What's worse is my born anoxic brother takes after him. He's got that filth on his facebook, too.
Is doing anything wrong in the eyes of God for God said vengeance is mine? Eternal fire seems like plenty punishment to me. I have issues in my mental health because what had happened. I feel like I should have some retribution for what I had lost.
There is an organization called RAINN which stands for Rape, Assault, Incest, National Network. They are far more qualified to work with you to get you the justice you deserve. There number is 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). Call them and you will be connected to a crisis center near you who will help you connect with the appropriate professionals and authorities.
My advice is that you follow through with the earlier advice I gave you and seek counseling with a therapist as well. Even with the documentation that can be retrieved the process to justice is long and can be painful as your dad by law has the right to confront his accuser in court. Prior to going to court the courts and prosecutors can protect and limit any contact he may have with you. By limit I mean his lawyer may want a deposition. You can request he not be there but he has a right to be there and the court can decide if he needs to be there. It is during this time that a good therapist will be of a big help to you.
I whole hardily support seeking justice. What your father did to you was wrong. HE may be doing it to others and you can put a stop to this by speaking out. Hopefully you also get help for your brother. Most importantly as I said before. By seeking justice you will get closure which will help you get a normal life and one you can enjoy fully including all forms of intimacy.
(Rating: 5) Thank you. I'll send you a message.