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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

28/f; boyfriend is 27/m. We've been together for a little more than a year...

Aaand I'm looking at leaving the state for school. I'm applying to some pretty high-powered doctoral programs, and I'm gonna be under a ton of stress. My boyfriend is super encouraging and supportive of my ambitions, just as I am of his.
When he talks about wanting to go to a school overseas, I get excited and anticipate going with him - my profession is extremely flexible and I'd love an excuse to learn another language. He'd be fine with me coming along as long as it didn't get in the way of MY career. But because of the timing of things on my end, he's not coming with me - he has good reasons.

I've finally found this incredible, sweet, funny, genuine guy who shares my values, treats me like I'm the most incredible person he's ever met - he's truly my best friend; the first person I want to talk to in the morning and the last at night, and he feels exactly the same way about me. We communicate well, and we've talked about this a little. I don't think I've conveyed the actual FEAR I feel... but I haven't conveyed it because I can't figure out WHAT exactly I'm afraid of.
I know I'm not gonna lose him because of the distance, so wtf, brain?

I don't really know what I'm asking. Does anyone have experience with something like this? How did you make it work? Did you feel scared, too?
I'm also a little freaked in general, I suppose, because I've never lived or gone to school outside my home state.

Thank you everyone for any advice, words of encouragement; anything.

I know what you fear, out of sight out of mind. Is that really true in today's world. With today's electronics you are never that far apart. If you have a smartphone, tablet or a computer your loved one is just a few keystrokes away.

Millions of men and women have been deployed to far of lands by their countries military leaving husband, wives, significant others and children behind. With Skype, facetime and social media you can be right there with them for important events. Wake up with and say goodnight to them. These men and women have weathered these deployments, some multiple time, with only a small percentage ending in separation or divorce.

I would think if these men and women can do it so can you and your boyfriend do it if your love for one another is strong enough. In fact while he is being supportive of what you want he too may have similar fears.

You also say your boyfriend wants to go to school overseas while your plans at the moment are to attend a school in another state. For know depending how far you are from him it is possible for you two to get together while your at school. That changes if he goes overseas and for some reason you cannot go.

My suggestion is you two need to sit down and talk. If you know what school you will be attending then make plans for when you two can meet. IF you can't get home and he can't get to you then it might be possible for you two to meet someplace in the middle. Example if you are on one coast and him on another then Denver might be an option as there are at least 3 low cost airlines that service Denver.

Most importantly is if you two really love each other then you need to talk to each other. Most relationships fail due to lack of communication. If two people love each other then they can communicate everything between them including fears.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you. I'm usually quite good at overruling my fears with logic, but it's been on my mind recently. Communication IS paramount for a good relationship, you're right about that. :)
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