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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Hello,

22/F. In a 3 year relationship with a rocky stand point. Met a guy at a bar on of the nights that I was out with a couple friends and we were just friends getting to know each other and we started having feelings for each other. Similar life and both very ambitious. We both have very good jobs. We’re both family oriented in fact both our mothers passed with the same disease. But that’s not why I’m asking for advice. After us completely stop talking for a good month which was also the last time we saw each other. I saw him again this weekend. I was drinking my coffee and happened to look up and he had just walked in and we both made eye contact. He looked at me and he made a sad face (literally frowned) and I look at my friend next to me and completely freaked out. Mind you my boyfriend who knows nothing about this is right behind me having another conversation with someone else. The guy, let’s call him M.. M slowly makes is way over to where I was and requested for a coffee and a shot. And he started asking how I was and how work was, then he started teasing me about always drinking energy drinks when I go out instead of actual alcohol. And he pretty much implied to my friend that we should all hangout again soon. M then walks away. My boyfriend didn’t even notice that someone was talking to us. I started giving my friend the (WTF) look and he told me that when he come over he nudged his leg before he started talking to me. There isn’t a day where this guy doesn’t not cross my mind and I don’t know what to do. I don’t get what the purpose of him coming over and starting a convo with me was when we haven’t talked in a month. Even though last time we talked it was a great conversation even if he is a little on the shy side where I’m not.


Please help 

It is hard to know exactly why he did this without some more information; information such as in your first conversation with him. During that conversation did you at any time tell him you were involved with someone? Did you say or imply that your relationship was at a rocky point. If you did this would help clarify for me why I think he made a face and why he suggested you all get together again.

You state; "we started having feelings for each other. Similar life and both very ambitious. We both have very good jobs." It is very possible his feelings for you are strong enough that he wants to get to know you but he won't interfere with your present situation. Seeing you out with your friends and current boyfriend told him nothing had changed reason for the frown. His suggesting that all of you get together and hangout again, may have been his way of thinking this could be his way to see and talk to you without truly interfering in your present relationship.

The teasing tells me he does have feelings for you as we in general will not tease people we don't like especially not in a good natured was. This is how I see his teasing of you.

I have nothing but gut feelings and the fact that I'm a male to back up what I have written. The strongest support I can offer is if you in your first conversation in anyway implied there were problems in your current relationship. If he had strong enough feelings for you he could see this as hope for him to have a chance with you.




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(Rating: 5) Yes he did know I had a boyfriend. it was the first topic of conversation actually. Thank you so much for your advice.
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