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I am a 22 year old female with a 25 year old boyfriend. I have a great boyfriend, who I know would never do anything wrong or do anything to hurt me, but I always find myself questioning what he's doing, who he is talking to, where he is going, etc. I torture him relentlessly every day, even though I know it's wrong. I don't want him to break up with me, because honestly he is the best thing in my life, and I will never find anyone who loves me as much as he does, but I can't control my behavior and the way my mind thinks so negatively. Can someone offer SOME kind of advice that might've worked for you? (link)
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I am going to take a stab at this question. I don't know how helpful my answer will be though.
I am going to guess that you have been in a relationship before where someone has cheated on you. Either that or maybe you have been close to someone who has had that happen. Razhie has given you some good advice, she is one adviser whose advice I trust & respect. Therapy may help, I don't know.
The truth of the matter is that even someone, who you know in your heart would never hurt or cheat on you...can. When it happens it can totally devastate you. You are left not knowing what if anything another guy says to you is true. Whats he not saying? Is he lying by omission? You tend to question every single solitary thing he says or does. Its a sad result of being totally blindsided by one you trust with your heart. You don't want to feel and act that way. But hey, look what happened last time you trusted. I may have it all wrong but it sure does sound familiar. :)
I'm afraid like all things it takes time. You can and will get over it. Like Razhie said therapy could help. If not with all things then with some things. Mainly you just have to learn to put bad memories behind you and move on. All the questioning of his whereabouts and worry about what he may be up to isn't going to change things in the end. When you give your heart to anyone you are open to being hurt by that person. If they are important enough to you, you just have to trust anyway and risk being hurt.
Time kiddo. Just takes time. When you start feeling that way just remind yourself he hasn't done anything & trust him.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much. I guess it's easy to read this situation, because it happens to so many of us. I actually was in a relationship with someone that I was very much in love with, and he cheated on me one of my closest cousins. (He didn't know I would find out, because he didn't know she was related to me. I never blamed her, because she didn't know we were together)
But anyway. Therapy has been in talks for awhile. I just feel like I might be emotionally devastated from what has already happened to me, and I risk ruining my perfect relationship based on how others have treated me. I am so scared that this too will turn out just as the others did. I am going to take the necessary steps to correcting it, though. If I keep letting my insecurities get the best of me, I will probably NEVER have a healthy relationship with anyone.
I just need to keep telling myself that I'm too STRONG to hurt the love of my life simply because an ex hurt me. Thank you and Rahzie for your responses. I am very appreciative!
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