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I'm Johanna. I'll Come and Go. What can I say? I try.

One thing I LOVE to do is to analyze dreams. Just tell me about a dream you had, and I'll help you understand what it means. :)

advice

15/f. I have a conflict with my best friend, who is 14/f. First of all, I am not your average teenage girl: I'm artsy, I would like to become a professional musician, I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't consider shopping a hobby. My best friend is the typical prep. I don't have a problem with this at all. My problem is that she is always telling me that I need to get a boyfriend or a date to whatever formal, or that I need to be more like the average teenage girl. But this isn't what I want at all, and I am completely happy with myself at this point in my life because instead of concentrating on boys, I concentrate on what I love to do: music. So it seems as if my best friend is trying to control me. Lately, she's obsessed with having a boyfriend, no matter who it is. And that's her business, but she drags me into crap like that. I never give in to her controlling manner, but it gets freaking annoying to the point where I don't even want to be around her anymore. How can I tell her to not be so controlling, yet still keep our friendship? Thank you!

You're living my life! Haha just kidding, but I went through pretty much the exact thing. So I'll tell you what I did about this and you can decide for yourself what would be the best thing to do in your situation.

First attempt to talk to her. Don't be mean, but you have to be strong & firm about this. Try saying a serious tone, "Look, I don't want or need a boyfriend right now, so just drop it." or if she brings it up again, say, "Can we please talk about something else?"

If she's your best friend, she should understand. If she won't let the subject of a boyfriend go, the next step is to try to distract her from it. By distracting her, I mean taking her mind off of it by going somewhere with her. If you both have fun together, and remember how much fun you used to have, it might make things a little better. Try going to the movies, mini golfing, laser tag, anything like that is good. By doing a phsyical activity like mini golfing or laser tag, it will probably distract her from talking about boyfriends.

The next thing you should try is limiting your time with her. The more you see her, the more she is going to bug you. So its very simple, just don't spend every waking minute with her. Sign up for a sport or a club, or just take up a new hobby so that you have less time for her. Sounds harsh, but everybody, including you needs a little time alone. Focus on schoolwork, exercising, or writing a story or poetry. You said you liked music, so why not write some of your own? Make a collage, do some crazy art. But all of this should be done WITHOUT her. This way you get a break from her.

If things STILL do not get better, and talking to her isn't working, you have to consider ending the friendship. Maybe not totally ending it, but slowly pulling away from her. When I had a controlling friend, I eventually got so sick of her that I cut her off completely. Took her off my Myspace Top 8, switched lunch tables, and gradually stopped talking to her because I realized she was not good for me. She was making me become unhealthy and unhappy. If that's the case, find someone better! Usually around this time, friends split up because of differences. That's exactly what happened to me and a friend of mine who, well, wore G-Unit and listened to rap.

There are lots of people out there who share your interests. Friends will never last forever, so if you need a change, find some new friends. Sorry this was so long!

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(Rating: 5) awesome advice :)
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