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She's trying to control me
15/f. I have a conflict with my best friend, who is 14/f. First of all, I am not your average teenage girl: I'm artsy, I would like to become a professional musician, I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't consider shopping a hobby. My best friend is the typical prep. I don't have a problem with this at all. My problem is that she is always telling me that I need to get a boyfriend or a date to whatever formal, or that I need to be more like the average teenage girl. But this isn't what I want at all, and I am completely happy with myself at this point in my life because instead of concentrating on boys, I concentrate on what I love to do: music. So it seems as if my best friend is trying to control me. Lately, she's obsessed with having a boyfriend, no matter who it is. And that's her business, but she drags me into crap like that. I never give in to her controlling manner, but it gets freaking annoying to the point where I don't even want to be around her anymore. How can I tell her to not be so controlling, yet still keep our friendship? Thank you!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If she really was your friend than she would want you to do whatever you want. If she continues I would rather you look for a new friend that like's you with or without a boyfriend.
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First of all, if she gets controlling her say "No" keep refusing until she gives in.Dont give in - its what she wants.I guess she wants a sort of "side kick" not a confident friend who has her own self and isnt sucky-up "I'll lick your shoes alana!" kind of girl.
Still have fun with her - if she wants to go shopping?Maybe if you said yes, this will maybe make her feel that you are still close.
This happened with my friend.But eventually we broke away, (we're still friendly and say hi)And I went into what I wanted to do - performing, but she got into over exceesive amounts of makeup and boyfriends every week.If you feel its too much, just do what you want to do.You want to do sometihng in your life - go for it
You can tell her no, and that your not really interested.If your friendship is breaking down to the point where an arguement is occuring tell her that
-you're thinking of your career
- there more to life than boys
- your not a slave
Be pround and stand up.But sometimes just do what she wants to do, and tell her she has to do something you want to do !
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You're living my life! Haha just kidding, but I went through pretty much the exact thing. So I'll tell you what I did about this and you can decide for yourself what would be the best thing to do in your situation.
First attempt to talk to her. Don't be mean, but you have to be strong & firm about this. Try saying a serious tone, "Look, I don't want or need a boyfriend right now, so just drop it." or if she brings it up again, say, "Can we please talk about something else?"
If she's your best friend, she should understand. If she won't let the subject of a boyfriend go, the next step is to try to distract her from it. By distracting her, I mean taking her mind off of it by going somewhere with her. If you both have fun together, and remember how much fun you used to have, it might make things a little better. Try going to the movies, mini golfing, laser tag, anything like that is good. By doing a phsyical activity like mini golfing or laser tag, it will probably distract her from talking about boyfriends.
The next thing you should try is limiting your time with her. The more you see her, the more she is going to bug you. So its very simple, just don't spend every waking minute with her. Sign up for a sport or a club, or just take up a new hobby so that you have less time for her. Sounds harsh, but everybody, including you needs a little time alone. Focus on schoolwork, exercising, or writing a story or poetry. You said you liked music, so why not write some of your own? Make a collage, do some crazy art. But all of this should be done WITHOUT her. This way you get a break from her.
If things STILL do not get better, and talking to her isn't working, you have to consider ending the friendship. Maybe not totally ending it, but slowly pulling away from her. When I had a controlling friend, I eventually got so sick of her that I cut her off completely. Took her off my Myspace Top 8, switched lunch tables, and gradually stopped talking to her because I realized she was not good for me. She was making me become unhealthy and unhappy. If that's the case, find someone better! Usually around this time, friends split up because of differences. That's exactly what happened to me and a friend of mine who, well, wore G-Unit and listened to rap.
There are lots of people out there who share your interests. Friends will never last forever, so if you need a change, find some new friends. Sorry this was so long!
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Well, if your best friends you two should be albe to tell eachother anything. But, when I had to tell my bff something i waited for her to get online because i'm soo much better at expression my emotions online than in person. So maybe you could send her and e-mail or Im of telling her how you really feel. Just tell her the truth, tell her not to tell you waht to do all the time and what you should do about your life. If you really are bffs you'll get through anything.
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hmm thats tough. When friends get boyfriends and are totaly obsessive over them and you feel like thats all they talk about and you cant just have fun together. Try to cut down on how much youy see her and talk to her. If she is a true friend she will relize she misses you and come crawling back. Best friends are suppsed to be there supporting what you want to do, like music not controling you. If she bringsup a subject like that then juat tell her that you dont want a boyfriend you want to be concerned with your music if she wont except it she isnt much a friend worth having. I know that it would be hard to get rid of best friends but if its not gonna work out then you have no choice. Good luck with it:)
Jess<3
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tell her you're going out with Music. it's poetic. and it may shut her up.
if she can't handle it, you may have to set her on fire. that's just my two cents.
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hey maybe shell like it if you tell her that you dont want a boyfriend
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