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28

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March 23, 2006

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April 24, 2015

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about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.

my forum
My FAQ

Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!

--Jack

advice

Okay, so I really really want to know how to smell good all the time, to have a strong normal smell. My friend has this particular smell, and it smells so clean and fresh. You can smell it immediately even if you just walk by her. Whenever I start sweating even a little, my armpits smell and it's so annoying to think about it. Generally I smell good because of my clothes and I don't have B.O., but I want a really good, clean smell, all the time. I want the clean smell to be on my clothes all the time, I want that good washed smell a lot. Most of the time I have it on my clothes, but how do I keep it. I want this guy to notice that I smell really nice..and it's just good for me. Also, is there a way for your sweat not to smell so bad? Or become less prone to sweat?

Find a good deodorant. I'm not sure what deodorant works well for girls, but I know Old Spice works well for guys. My sister uses Secret I think, and it works fine for her.

If you don't want to sweat, try to get not only a deodorant, but an antiperspirant as well. That helps you to stop sweating. Also, so does a product called Certain Dri. It helps my sister, my mom, and sometimes me, too, to stop sweating so much.

Try out some different perfumes. Sometimes going a little more expensive means the smell will last longer. Please don't douse yourself in it. Too much perfume is a big turn off for guys.

Try getting/using a new, better-smelling softener for your clothes in the wash. That leaves them with a smell that lasts for awhile.

--Jack
(16/m)

does anyone know how to uploead a picture on here?
thanksss a lot.

Go to "Profile Settings" on your left, and at the top, you can chose to upload a picture [it can only be 15K or less, which is small] or give a link to a picture.

The second is what I suggest.

Upload your picture on Tinypic.com and then copy the link into the space where it says "URL of a picture of you".

There you go ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

ok hes only 1 yeah older but still.
im scared hes going to want to kiss me and im scared cause i dont know how..im 13 and hes 14.
like how do i know if he wants to kiss me? and how do i kiss him. like, all the ways to kiss.
lol and please no links.

Thank ya!

You'll know if he tells you or if he moves in closer to your face.

Here's the link to a question I answered before, and I'll copy my answer so you don't have to follow the link ;]

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542507

I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]

But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]

Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.

Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.

There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.

From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:

1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.

My friend on here, Laura, answered a question similar to this, and she gave a great answer. I will copy her answer, but know that credit goes to her.

www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542699

Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.

Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.

If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.

And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!

Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!

From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.

Further research, if you want it:

--Jack
(16/m)

16/f

I really like this guy, and I'm almost positive he feels the same. He always calls me "gorgeous," it's become my second name. The first thing he does when he sees me, is hug me. And basically, finds any excuse possible, to touch me. He seems to love being around me, and he also isn't afraid of bringing me around while his friends are at the same place. Nor does he treat me any differently, while we're around his friends.

So do you think this guy may like me as more than his friend?

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340

From there:
I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

Some other useful links:
http://teenies674.tripod.com/id18.html

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You

--Jack
(16/m)

I'm 14-17 and I need a job to pay for [insert item(s) here]. What are some jobs that I can get?

You don't need to get a job at a big chain. In fact, most of them don't hire until you're at least 16.

You can do simple jobs like babysitting for friends and family. [You can charge more for more kids the more troublesome they are]
Walk dogs of friends. [The more dogs at once the more money you get! ;)]
Mow lawns in the summer.
Rack leaves in the fall.
Shovel snow in the winter.
All jobs people hate. =]
Get homemade fliers and put them around the neighborhood.
For old people give them the fliers. They are old and can't go far =].

Use this search:

--Jack
(16/m)

Okay so my boyfriend had to leave for Mexico because his aunt had a heart attack and he went down there to take care of her... Well we have been talking on the phone and keeping in touch and I was invited to go stay down there for 5 days when his mom goes down there. Well that was our last conversation and he has not called me since. I have no way of getting a hold of him. Im thinking of maybe calling his mom but it may be difficult because she does not speak English very well and I have no idea if he even called and asked if I could ride with her.... So right now im totally stressing out because I have no idea whats going on! what should I do

First what you need to do is relax. =]

Then, I think, like the other person said, you should call his mom. If she doesn't really understand what's going on, she should at least be able to find a way to contact him to let him know you've been trying to reach him.

Then I would just keep trying to call him. You said he's with his aunt, so he's probably occupied with helping her ;]

Remember, relax. Everything will be fine ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

like...i want to talk to him and kind of flirt with him...but he is one of those guys thats all "too cool for school" you know like "oh look at me this girl likes me and cant get enough of me" when he is around his friends....but as soon as they leave he is all nice and playful... but i dont want him to act like that and me try to get closer...i dont want to freak him out....

You can tell who a guy is by what they do when their friends aren't around. So you said he's nice and playful when he's not there.

So he shouldn't be freaked out if you flirt with him. I would just try it out, and if he seems non-responsive, just stop and then maybe try again in a few days.

--Jack
(16/m)

Okay so basically here's the deal: I feel torn between two groups of friends that were once part of one big group. I will give them fake names because if they go anonymous you will all get confused. So one group consists of Lily and Nathalie, and the other group consists of Erica, Mary, Leslie, Yolanda, Dana, Mindy, and Milly. Some people in the Erica group are upset with Nathalie because she has a big attitude problem and complains a lot, and just takes a lot of things too personally or sees too much, to the point where she brings drama all the time. Yesterday, we were in the lobby of Mary's building and she and Erica asked me to give them "juicy gossip," meaning they wanted to know what Nathalie says about them. So I told them about how Nathalie felt like their group was separating themselves from me, Nathalie, and Lily, mainly because she wants our group of around 8 people or so to be together all the time but it just can't work out that way. My main problem is that although I agree Nathalie can be a pain, they're not very fair either. Yes, Nathalie says stuff about them particularly Mary, behind their backs, but are they being any better? I feel like they used me to get information, that they invited me to the picnic to be nice to me so that they could force me to spill information. I feel like they perceive me as a dull, lifeless person with no personality and no feelings and no opinions because I am very quiet, shy, and reserved around them---so they think this is how I always am. The truth is that I feel much closer and more comfortable with Nathalie and Lily despite Nathalie's attitude at times, and she can be nice too not always mean all the time. I don't feel as close to Erica, Mary, Leslie, Mindy---I consider them "friends" but not friends that I can trust with anything. I feel like such an idiot because I act like such a wimp, letting them manipulate me like that. I hate how everything looks at me like I'm nothing, like there's no use having me around at all. I hate it so much. Because the truth is that I am a great person who has so many aspirations, dreams, and interests, who cares about everyone around her.
And the other conflict was that Mindy and Leslie questioned how I could possibly be best friends with this girl named Ariana because, in their eyes, we don't do "best friend" things. Yes, I admit that we don't hang out 24/7, but we are best friends. She's my best friend because I don't have to hide and be shy and reserved with her, because she would never manipulate me in the way that they do. I am angry that they had the nerve to insult our friendship like that, wouldn't you be? What right do they have to question? They don't know anything about our friendship, and they don't see a lot of things...do I ever question their friendship? High school is over, and I am heading to college this fall. And you know what? I am ecstatic to meet new people, because these people have been driving me crazy and using me and being very disrespectful towards me. I doubt that I will keep in touch with most of them because of how they have treated me throughout this school year, and particularly, in Mary's lobby.
I don't like to have people hating me, but I don't like that they have hurt me this way. Should I talk to them about how I feel, or should I just keep it all inside and let them win, as usual?

First of all, you said it yourself; you feel more comfortable with Nathalie and Lily. So hang out with them. They sound like much nicer people who aren't using you.

Second, dump that other group of people. You say you don't feel comfortable around them, so don't be around them. They are using you for information, and that is SO wrong on SO many levels. They don't give a darn about you, and that is just the epitomy of users. Gahh.. just ditch them and go be with Nathalie and Lily. A little attitude isn't much to deal with. It's part of her character, and you can't really change that.

And don't let people tell you who you are "best friends" with. You are best friends with whomever you so please. You don't have to be the stereotypical best friends who are glued at the hip and do EVERYTHING together. A true best friend is someone you feel comfortable around, and Ariana is just that.

I say you should speak your mind about what they have done to you, and if they reject it and get all prissy about it, walk away and never talk to them again. Don't ever think of them and don't ever speak of them. They are worthless as far as I can see.

Do yourself a favor and be with Lily and Nathalie.

--Jack
(16/m)

I was wondering if I could make a suggestion for a friend in need. She has terminal cancer and the doctor says there is no hope for her. Her and her husband have lost everything they own. He can not work for having to stay with her 24/7. She loves having family and friends over and the place they live in now they can't do that. She loves having her watnots out and love seeing them. I wish I could give her a wish of having a place of their own and being able to have all of her favorite things that she loves out to look at in her last days. Wish that you could do something for her.

Like the other people said, just spend a lot of time with her, and maybe offer up your place for a few days [if that is alright with you].

Make sure her family gets to be with her before she goes, and just try to make the last few days really special for her. Always remind her that she'll be moving on to bigger and better things, and that God will take good care of her in Heaven ;]

This makes me want to cry =/.

--Jack
(16/m)

so what do i do about this guy?? Because i never see him...and well like how do i talk to him without "TALKING" to him?? do you know what i mean??

Actually I don't know what you mean. Do you mean talk to him without flirting?

Uhh. I'm not really sure. Just engage in small-talk with him, like about the weather or about something someone did that you thought was funny or something. Just get to know him.

It's hard to explain. Sorry =/.

If you rephrase your question I might be able to help better.

--Jack
(16/m)

i'm a sophomore and i know i still have time to think about what i want to do when i "grow up". but when i'm a junior i'm going to try and do a post secondary program where i go to college for part of the day and i get college credit, so i feel more rushed to figure this out.

i'm interested in fashion, and i know it's a hard thing to get into. i want to do something i enjoy so i'm not stuck with a job i hate for the rest of my life. so do you know any websites that help you with choosing? like career tests or something? thanks!

Here's a question for you.

What is your favorite hobby? What do you enjoy doing? Do you like painting? Be an artist. Do you like roller coasters? Be an engineer. Do you like helping people get better [I know, not a hobby]? Be a doctor. Do you enjoy animals? Be a vet.

I'm sure if you take your hobby, you can find a career that deals with it.

And don't stess about it; you'll find something =]

--Jack
(16/m)

can anyone tell me what font is used in this graphic? if not, one VERY similar?

http://i32.tinypic.com/206k7dl.png

Hmmm.. I'm using "WhatTheFont"..

And these are what look most similar:

http://www.myfonts.com/fonts/patty-whack/tattletale-pw/regular/

http://www.myfonts.com/fonts/3ip/marydale/black/

http://www.myfonts.com/fonts/chank/coffeedance/coffeedance/

--Jack
(16/m)

Good emo/screamo music anyone?
thank you

In no particular order:

My Chemical Romance
AFI
All Time Low
The Academy Is...
Cobra Starship
Powerspace
This Providence
Fall Out Boy
Panic! At The Disco
Paramore
Cute Is What We Aim For
Plain White T's
Silverstein
We The Kings
Boys Like Girls
Armor For Sleep
Sherwood
The Rocket Summer [not emo- but I love this band]
The Cab
Punchline
1997
2*Sweet
The Almost
The Used
Evanescence
+44
Blink 182
Angels And Airwaves
Atreyu
Aiden
Rise Against
Against Me!
Hand Me Down Buick
Forgive Durden
Lifetime
30 Seconds to Mars
From First To Last
Dashboard Confessional
Jack's Mannequin
Taking Back Sunday

I think that's enough ;]
Sorry if some were repeated, I only just scanned the other answers.

--Jack
(16/m)

Well where do i begin?? haha well see i met this boy over the summer when i went to visit my dads, and we hit it off really well. We hung out almost every day. But the thing is, i added him on myspace, and we started talking....there is three scenarios that i want you to read...
1) His "friend" started talking to me and wouldnt tell me who he was. He just said "do you like my friend?" and i was like "my guess is he is in that room with you. who are you" and he was like "i cant say" and i was like "well does ty like me?" and he was like "i cant tell you i just cant..." and i was like "ok its funner that way" and he said "okay i will talk to you later"....
2) I asked him if he missed me and he said "a little not a lot tho" then signed off real quick.
3) My dad said he has been asking about me and when i am coming up again and how i am doing...

Now i am kind of thinking that he likes me...but i dont know so i need your help. My cousin said "what guy would tell you they sort of missed you?"... but i think that maybe he said a lil not a lot tho to tell me "hey i really do miss you alot but im just too big of a pussy to say it out loud."

what do you think????? sorry its so long!~!!!

I completely agree with this statement, minus the word pussy:

[I am kind of thinking that he likes me...]

[I think that maybe he said a lil not a lot tho to tell me "hey i really do miss you alot but im just too big of a [coward] to say it out loud."]

So I think he likes you.

Check out this previous answer of mine for more things about what guys do when they like a girl:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340

From there:
I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

Some other useful links:
http://teenies674.tripod.com/id18.html

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You

--Jack
(16/m)

15/f
There's this guy that I volunteer at a hospital with, and I am really attracted to him. I don't know why, but he makes me want to get to know him. He seems like he kind of flies under the radar a bit, which I really like in a guy.
He's going into senior year, and I will be a junior. I thought since you're a guy, you could help me out. =]
Would you consider dating a girl younger than you? And does it freak you out if a girl just starts talking to you and subtly flirts? I'm not so good with the flirting, most guys just mistake it for talking and it doesn't work out.
Also, I like to joke around a lot and casually make fun of people (nothing bad, I just kid around and everyone knows that I'm joking), do you think he might think I'm not serious enough?
Thanks and have a nice day!
-Katie

Hey- thanks for inboxing ;]

Dating someone younger is really not a big deal. My sister is dating someone who is 3 years older than her, but she's 18 so it's not really a big deal. ;]

It doesn't freak me out when girls start talking to me; in fact I love that. It's a huge turn on when a girl is confident enough to strike up a conversation ;]

It really depends on the person when it comes to making jokes at his expense. Personally I'm alright with it- as long as the girl makes it known that it is just a joke, like "I'm just kidding" and a giggle or something. Wow that just sounded really lame! =O

--Jack
(16/m)

What are the IVy league schools in the U.S

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivy_League#Members

From there:

Brown University
Columbia University
Cornell University
Dartmouth College
Harvard University
Princeton University
University of Pennsylvania
Yale University

--Jack
(16/m)

I have currently exclaimed to my mother that I am Bisexual. I am recently a virgin. However she says that 'bisexual' means to have sex with a guy and a girl. I think it means to be attracted to girls and guys (like liking them). But she says i'm wrong. I have a girlfriend(i am a girl), and she doesn't know about it. I am not a lesbian, i just like girls and guys. I ve had boyfriends, and now i have a girlfriend. Is her answer correct or is mine.

Being heteroSEXUAL, biSEXUAL or homoSEXUAL means you engage in SEXUAL activity with the opposite sex, both sexes, or the same sex, respectively.

Your mother, and YG, below, are correct.

--Jack
(16/m)

i recently told my best friend im bi along with a few other people and now i sorta have a girl friend so i guess if i dont want to completly hide the fact that i have one, from my parents and be all suspicious so i probably have to tell them...i just dont know how. i could just randomly tell them and i think my mom will be ok with it but im a little worried about what my dad will say and they probably wont let my girlfriend stay over since now they just think we're friends. anyway i will eventually tell them so if anyone has any suggestions how that would be good.
-and another thing, i dont care that my peers know or anything, im just freaked out about my family knowing------please help

Your parents love you. If something like this makes them "hate" you, well what kind of parents are they?

YOU ARE who you are. You can't change that. If your parents aren't okay with that, well I'm sorry, but that's wrong.

Even if they aren't okay with it now, they most likely will be with time.

The longer you wait to tell them, the harder it will get. So do yourself a favor and just tell them soon ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

I am in highschool and in the begining of the year, I met this girl. As time passed, she grew more and more annoying. She is an attention junky and will do anything to get noticed. Some of the things she has done have been extremely embarrassing to the point when I ask myself why do I know her. She won't leave me and my friends alone and we have gotten into many fights. I am sick of her and I don't want to spend the rest of my highschool career with her by my side. I wish she would just leave me alone. She is dreadful just to speak to on the phone. What do I do? I have already tried telling her I don't want to be her friend. Please ~~~help!

You said you've already tried telling her you don't want to be her friend- how did she respond?

If you don't tell her, she will only grow closer to you, and it will get harder for you to tell her.

Please don't be mean about it, though, and I know that can be tough, but she deserves at least a humane explanation, no matter how annoying she is.

--Jack
(16/m)

In September I changed schools and I met this guy who was just like me. We went out for a couple of weeks but I ended it because I liked him as a friend.
We didn't talk for a while but then we started talking again and since then we've been really good friends.
Like he's my best guy friend.
This weekend I was at a festival with him, and we were always together. I still see him as a good guy friend, and I could never date him again, but throughout the whole weekend he was trying to get close and so on.

I'm just wondering how should I be around him so he doesn't think that I want to get back together with him. I've heard from a lot of people that he still likes me.

I want to stay friends, but I don't want to be friends whilst he's trying to get be back.

Any advice?
Thank you!

(15/f)

I think you need to tell your friend, and really tell him, don't beat around the bush, that you JUST want to be friends. If you don't lay that down on the table, things will only get more awkward for both of you, and it will mean that when he does go to make a move later, and he doesn't know that you only want to be friends, he will be ten times more hurt than if you just tell him now.

Does that make sense. Sorry I'm a little wordy at times..

--Jack
(16/m)

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