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Q: i need more friends. it sux. i have friends online and all but i need more. and more in real life. if u wanna chat email me at gods_gal_90@yahoo.com ok well im gonna submit this so u guys can see it and email me or respond or whatever

Why are you so needy? Why are you unhappy with yourself? If you desperately need to surround yourself with people, all the time, more and more, that is leaning toward hoarding and miserliness (miserliness is not always about money.) and can be a sign of mental instability.
You cannot bring happiness to someone until you can be happy with yourself. There is obviously something lacking in your own persona that makes you want to replace it with other people's virtues. A healthy person has friends to support them often, not constantly. A healthy person can be happy alone. You need to learn to stand on your own two feet and not be so grabby.

Q: I know this guy, he tries to fit in but he really annoys everyone, generally behaving like himself,
ok..so he's rude, obsessive, irritating, nosey, clingy and just doesnt get the picture.
The thing is he used to have a little thing for me, and so now when my friends take the mickey out of him i tell them to stop it because i feel its not nice, also because he doesnt really have any proper friends.
i kept feeling bad until this afternoon, when i found out that he didnt only like me, he semmed to have asked out many more people in that time....... especially guys! I found it a bit worrying as i think he's only bi because he's so very desperate, and this is not an exaggeration.
This has just freaked a whole lot more people out now because of him. Many of our friends are bi but i just find it really weird for him to be like this. How do i go about this, and what would you do?

Many, if not most, people go through stages in their life when they are so desperately horny and starved for attention that they will go any direction they can to get some affections.
This is not to belittle people who are honestly gay or bi. I believe people are born with a predilection toward what gender they find sexually attractive, but around middle and high school when hormones are high and brains are developing, people will go pretty much anywhere for love and human contact.
It doesn't seem you have any weirdness about people in general being bi, so kudos to you.
I like how you are being a good person by sticking up for him, and that will pay off. If you just don't like his personality then the two of you simply aren't compatable. No problem with that really. You can still be a good person and stick up for him without having any more responsibility than that.
Unfortunately if people (or he) are immature, they might read more into it and think you want him more than you do (if you do want him at all? I didn't feel that you did want him).
Many immature and annoying people are just high on hormones and puberty and weirdness and it will settle out of their systems in a few years once they find a place or a group that they fit into.
Everyone fits somewhere, no matter how weird and uncommon they are. I have found this out.
Don't worry too much about him--things will settle out on their own, it's probably not a very bad issue.

Q: hi my name is angel and i want to know if this person really likes me in another way then friends because were good friends and i'm confused i mean we talked to each other all the time but he says things that sounds like you look really nice in that and your'e such a sex symbol and you are really atractive person thts why guys like you and lovely and caring mature person.
And he always touches me and say's we have good sociable time and can imagine to see each other bumping in 10 yrs time etc...
And he looks at me deep down my eyes and he says sometimes say i look smart when i'm always tend to any way.
and he teases me alot and jokes with me why? i mean we only know each other for couple of months just as friends and don't really do any thing like outings etc...
so please help me out because i'm confused wat his feeling about me, even though we don't chat to each other about this because it's not easy as he is quite older then me.

This guy wants a piece of you, and he is trying every trick in the book to get up your skirt.

If this is a mutual desire and you don't mind him just wanting a slice of your hot body, grab a condom and get to it.
If you're insulted at being thought of as a walking piece of ass, get away from him and remember which head most men think with.

Q: I have been dating a guy now for about 2 and a half years. We are both shy and moral people so we haven't done anything but kiss and cuddle together. I think that I love him because when we are close together and when he kisses me I get a feeling like no other (like electricity is running throughout my whole body constantly), but when we are not together and when he is not being loving toward me I feel like I want to end the relationship. We have a lot of differences in our personalities and our likes that constantly get in the way of the relationship, and I am always the one who gives into what he wants. He is a spoiled only child with parents who are close to being rich and I am a mature only child who was taught at a very early age the value of a dollar and my parents are divorced so we don't hve as much money (and my mom is kinda cheap). I am getting really tired of him trying to control me and always getting his way, but everytime I think about breaking up I can't do it because we have been together so long and I think I am ultimately afraid of being single the rest of my life if I don't stay with him. (I don't have any other guys that are even flirting with me at work or college) Do you think I should end it with my boyfriend or continue the relationship?

The absolutely WORST reason to be in a relationship is "I don't want to be single". Being in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship is not only bogus and pathetic, it's demeaning and cheapens the value of YOU.
If, at two and a half years, you aren't even sure if you're in love, you're not. Really, you know when you are. You just know. It's genetic. Your lives are not compatable, and your personalities are at odds. You're a sweet and accomodating enough person to let him get his way, which makes him happy. Just think--if next time he wanted something you refused him, wouldn't you two get in a fight?
Probably... Most likely. A relationship is supposed to be a harmonious partnership, not one serving the other.

End it--college is not the be-all, end-all of the dating scene. Come on! You're better than that, aren't you? Please!

Q: my friend ........ likes me and i dont like him and i heard from my friends and alot of other people that he is going to ask me out but i dont like him. i dont know what to do i dont want to go out with him but i dont want to hurt his feelings because he really likes me and a laot of people say i should go out with ........ but i dont like him what should i do ????????

Don't go out with him.

There are ways of turning someone down politely but you should fucking ignore what "all your friends and alot of people" say. They are not you and they aren't going to have to live with your decisions. Quit being such a manipulated little beastie and do what YOU want.

Q: Okay so here it goes!*Greg* keeps teasing me like playing around.He tells me im a stalker and he says he doesnt know where he got it from he just says its funny.So he goes to my church,school,and hes in my carpool.Today he told the girl in my carpool*julia* that I asked him out.Shes like "*mary* how could you"! And then she told me and I like looked at him and he started cracking up!And when we wait for our parents to come pick us up he takes my backpack and puts it somwhere.He also looke through it when im walking with it on.

So acouple of weeks ago I was at *julias* house and *greg* was there. Cuz julias brother is friends with him. We mostley were in julias room for the time so he kept coming to the room and talking to us which julia said that he NEVER does. So we all played uno attack wile we were there and he never won so he told me that i jynked him.

Oh and hes one year older then me. So im not sure of anything really.

And whenever im wearing a sweater he decides to pull my hood and send me back and he LOVES to flick me! Its kinna anoyind, but I'd like to know Does he like me or what?
-----~pleazhelp~---------

When boys want to be with a girl they revert to extremely damn annoying, third grade behavior. If he didn't like you, you wouldn't be seeing him around you all the damn time. Duh. Of course he likes you.

Q: what does 69 mean????

This is a work/school relationship question? Dear gods. Is this how corporate America sells grades now?

You have 4 question marks and no capitalization, so I am wondering if you're even old enough to handle this answer.
Oh well, who cares.
69 is oral sex in which both partners both give and receive--usually lying down, belly to belly, one on top, nose to tail. There you go.

Q: I have a problem, I put posters all over my walls, I act depressive & miserable, just because thats how I am, and I write poetry & i do things I want to do, and I wear black nail polish and tons of bracelets, But I dont have much money to buy the clothing, and everyone thinks Im weird becasue I act what they say I am *goth* but I dont really dress like one, I try to explain that I dont have alot of money right now and Im not poor, but my mom doesnt like paying for me, because I liek to get these clothes that are exspensive at hot topic. . I like the music too. . I dont know why I just do, so I decided that maybe My heart is telling me I should be. . Gothic. I wouldnt mind being gothic either, but is it the right path for me? I dont care much whne people make fun of me, I just ignore it, like they are invisiable, its like I enter my own world and I am just staring at things, I dont see outside of my head and someone said i looked like I was possed by the devil! I like love satan! I cant help it, it is just my beliefs Im not trying to fit in, im not trying to be cool its just how I freaking feel! I like to wear dark make- up and black is like my fave color, I try to mix my clothes ot make i look funky, untill I get some money to buy more clothing. . I just got a bass/guitar too . . I am also ina school with tons of ghetto people, they always make fun of me and make me go through a life of torture, I only have acouple friends there, and thne I have 3 others outside of school who live where I used to live, I have 7 friends in school, 10 friends total, but 2 out of 10 are guys and the rets are girls, and htey guys r kidna my firned but not really like they act like my firned but they barely talk to me, well one of them makes me laugh all the time and talks to me. . Well
All I wanna know is, am I following the right path? LyA, Bye!

Signed, Confused.

Leave Hot Topic alone as if it were the plagues of egypt. Hot Topic does not care about jack shit. They are a commercial capitalist industry and their concern is money, not buoying your lifestyle.
I am wondering why no one else wants to touch this question. Thank the gods you're not trying to be cool; that is the fastest way to fail.

If you think the shadow holds a deeper beauty than the light, absolutely ignore what you are told and take the urges within your heart, not your head. The "alternative" lifestyles--the roads less travelled by--are always fought every step of the way. Remember everyone has their nasty deviations from society's norm.

Q: Does it hurt to get your ears pierced or your nose or your cartilige or whatever?????

Yep!

Q: I know this person, he's not a real being, more like an anthropomorphic materialization, but I feel he doesn't like me. What can I do?

When dealing with anthropomorphic manifestations and materializations in the physical planes, it is important to remember that they are endless and we (meaning you) are but scum, titchy little sparklies in their existance. Many anthropomorphic materializations have one specific purpose to their existance or abstract duty. If your anthro-mat does not see in you the trait he is responsible for, he probably won't give a tin shit what you're up to or how you feel (not that ambiguously manifested abstract expressions shit... but you know what I mean).

Like gods, anthropomorphic beings have likes, dislikes, and a need for either mortal worship or mortal ignorance. I suggest you make sacrifices of Interior Design majors or Campus Crusade for Christ-ians, and if this pisses him off, give him something nice like nonphysical offerings. Devotion, Desperation, Dependance and Demolition are always appreciated (the alliteration seems to ring with them).

I'd also be careful what you dream, and not go around making lewd slurs about various author-comic-book directors.

Q: ok i was having sex with this one guy tony and i couldnt stop. but finnaly it was time u know to take off my thong and put on a condom (on him of course) and so my thong wouldnt come off (it was one of the ones that u r supose to tie) and so he ripped it off and when i was putting the condom on him the door bell rang so i had to get up u know and i was like oh damn we have to stop but he was like oh let it ring we need to do it anyways i hope i am going to do it all night and i was like oh u bet ur luckie ass on that and i couldnt stop and we were burning rubber (when u go really fast and it starts to burn) then i had to go pee so i told him i had to stop so i did then when i came back i saw his friends looking and they have been looking since we started! so i told them they can come in in 10 mins so they were still looking and i was yelling oh tony oh tony and he was like oh jenny oh jenny and then i told his friends to come in. then i got drunk then i was having a three sum and then another guy came in and so in was like a 4 sum. and then they had to go home but i told tony to stay and we were doing it all night. then the next day was school and everyone was staring at me and i was asking the guys i did it with wut wuz going on and they told the whole school and i turned around and 3 guys were humping me so i told them to come to my house so when we went to my house i grabed a whip and everything so i was doing it all night with them! but i took a pregnantcy test and it said i was pregnant but i didnt know whos baby!!!!!!!!!!!

You are fucking odd.

That spawn of yours will be miserable.
Give it away or delete it, but do not force a human to live with you.
Ever.
Jesus.

Q: i want to get a gutar, but i dont no what to get? i dont want it to hurt my fingers but i want to rock!

what should i get?

I think I can even give you a choice here.
1.A soft guitar. I believe that certain companies make them out of jelly, feathers, silk, cotton balls, boiled noodles and snow these days. This would not hurt your fingers. Wow!
2.If you want to rock, I suggest you get a rock. These are widely available although I would advise you to be careful, because as you know the United States is currently at war with A Rock. I would personally ask all the rocks I see whether they like or dislike the US, and proceed thence.

Q: ewwww.......I am constantly spitting out green mucus in a styrofoam cup as we speak...any thing that will get rid of it? Help! its so gross...

Well, you could try throwing out the cup. That would get rid of it.

However, you would be back in eleven minutes complaining that the spitting has not stopped. I will save myself the carpal tunnel by assuming that you don't want to swallow it. That leaves decongestants such as suphedrine, hot green tea, steamy showers and just putting up with it. Pick your poison.

Q: I HAVE A RABBIT BUT I HATE RABBITS. I LOVE DOGS, THOUGH. MY GRANDMA (WHOM I LIVE WITH) SAID I COULD HAVE A DOG IF I TOOK CARE OF A RABBIT FIRST. I DON'T WANT TO TAKE CARE OF IT BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO. WHAT DO I DO? I DON'T WANT TO TAKE CARE OF IT BUT I REALLY WANT A DOG.

you only THINK you want a dog until you actually have one. What did that rabbit ever do to you to make you hate it? Go to your local library and check out Watership Down and make your grandmother read it to you. Or, for the attention-span deprived, lucky you, they made an animated film version which most Blockbusters have right on the shelf.
TAKE CARE OF THE RABBIT, WHICH IS A QUIET, SOFT, NOT-VERY-MESSY ANIMAL. STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS BEFORE SOMEONE "CAPS" YOU. THEN QUIT YOUR WHINING AND YOU'LL GET A DOG.

Q: Me & my BFF really wanna pierce our bellybuttons. She's got hers done already, but I can't get mine thru! Any tips??

Pick up the longest needle you can and stab it upward through your nasal cavity into your brain, because I cannot believe you're stupid enough to try and pierce your stomach skin on your own.

My acquaintance got hers pierced PROFESSIONALLY on her sixteenth birthday, and it got infected so badly she just let it grow back in. I'm sure that piercing will be very attractive in three years when you get belly-rolls and breasts. yum.

Q: I have been married to a man I consider my soul mate for eighteen years. We have a 5 year daughter. My father died about a year ago. My husband loved him more than his own father (who is a selfish, egotistical, non-caring male). The loss touched us all greatly. I turned to taking care of my mom (my father's dying wish) and my daughter. I didn't realize that my husband had turned to drugs. On Feb 17, 2003 he was arrested and sentenced to 15 years. His tenative release date is Oct 2013. On Valentine's day (3 days before his arrest) his present to me was a broken leg. I still love this man. He seems to have changed since he has been in jail from the letters that he sends. Ironically it will be Valentine's day before I can see him. He was never violent during the times previous to my father's death. But he built a persona of me in his mind that he seems to hang on to. 10 years is a long time to wait. I have been told by others that he will be a harder person when he gets out. I had returned to school and will get my degree in Spring of 2005. I am not sure if I should remain married to him or not. I am afraid that all the lovely words he is writing is because he is afraid of abandonment. There are a lot of other details too numerous to mention but pertinent to the situation. But because of what he has done I have lost my home, my transportation, and my life. Should I give him a second chance or not?

Do not confuse love with a dependance. Love is completely two-way. If you want to keep him only because (naturally) he was a decent person, you don't want to "lose" a husband, and he is the father of your daughter, those are just reasons. that is not love.

If you don't want to deeply search your own emotions, look to your daughter. She is five years old now and will not see this man until she is fifteen. He will not be present in her life during the most important, impressionable period in her entire existance. Your daughter needs a father daily who will kiss and hold her, take her on outings, have philosophical talks and show her constellations and build snow forts and grilled cheese sandwiches. This man will never be a father to her and he has ceased to be a husband and partner to you.
Abuse in any form is unforgivable, because there are no one-time transgressions. Once he makes the mental link that "I can hurt her and get away with it, and it makes me empowered", that will always be somewhere in his mind. Once that line is crossed, you will always be subservient to him and he will push that boundary farther and farther.

I cannot see any way your life, and your daughter's life, could be enriched by retaining this man in your home and family. I am glad that you are returning to school. Remember his letters are written from a man who has NOTHING to lose and everything to gain. He can speak from any tone he likes because he cannot be any worse position. Look at his words very carefully and do not put too much stock in them. He has already shown he is weak enough to abuse drugs and the woman he once may have loved. This is not what you want to subject yourself and your daughter to!

Do anything you must to get onward and upward. I'm sure you can do it.

Q: OK, Here's the deal. I kind of dated a guy a while back and when we stopped talking, I turned to his ex-girlfriend and found out a lot of stuff about him. It took so long to get over him and I can finally say that I AM OVER HIM for sure. Anway, his ex and I became confidants and we talked trash about him to each other all the time (ya know like girls do) and in a way, I really think that she's to be credited for me getting over him. Well, we were talking one night and I knew that the two of them had slept together when they were dating (they went out for like 2yrs.) and I told her that I was glad that I hadn't slept with him. He was her first and the only guy that she has slept with. She found out not too long ago that she has cervical cancer...she told me this and continued to inform me that her doctor had told her it was from HPV (the std). Ofcourse, she and I are both convinced that this guy is responsible for giving it to her (after all, he is the only guy that she has ever slept with). That's not my only problem: he has no idea that she has cancer and she is sooo scared to tell him. He and I share a mutual friend and that friend just happens to be my best friend (the two of them on the other hand hardly ever talk). So here's where the advice comes in, "our" friend knows about the cancer thing with the girl (he knows her too) and he has been on MY back about it ever since he found out (an accident by the way)...he wants me to tell the guy that he is carrying HPV and that his ex has cancer. I KNOW that he needs to know but why should I have to tell him??? I haven't even seen the guy in six months, he's dating someone now and chances are they're sleeping together. I would hate for someone else to get a venerial disease just because this guy is the selfish slug of a man that he is but i don't know what to do....PLEASE HELP!

Once upon a time about 30 or 40 years ago, there was a woman named Kitty Genovese who lived in an apartment in New York city. Some men broke into her apartment while she was there and began to mutilate and stab her. Kitty screamed and screamed for help. All of her neighbors were home, but none of them called the police. The men left Kitty in her apartment, mortally wounded, still screaming.
They left her to scream and sob for two hours. Eventually they came back and finished the job.
All the neighbors who were interviewed either said that "it was none of their business", "they didn't want to get involved", or they thought "someone else would surely call the police".

Of course it is not your 'job' to tell anyone anything, any more than it is his ex's job, or your friend's. Nobody has to say a word, and more people could catch a horrible disease from his negligence and simple ineducation. I think you should decide which is really most important to you--your pride in "staying out of it", or another human being's life and pain. I am not preaching. This is the concept of free will, and it is ultimate.

When evil can be stopped by speaking, he who is silent is also guilty. Don't you agree?
Remember there are no cures for viruses...

Q: Everytime I am on center stage, for playing an instrument, singing, acting, auditions, giving a speech in front of my class, whatever.... I get soooo nervous. My feet shake, my hands shake so hard it's hard to hold papers or instruments steady and they get really cold. Sometimes I get this nervous twitch above my lip. I don't know any way to get rid of it! And I can't just avoid the stage, because even though I get nervous, I really want to perform. Ugh.

Help!

One girl I once had to present with got so nervous, she had to run out of the room or faint. Everyone, with a few exceptions, is born with a terror of being the focus of attention. I haven't gotten far enough in psychology to know why. ;/

This isn't necessarily a self-help problem. There are classes particularly for adults focused on teaching them how to speak and perform in public. It's a hardcore thing to overcome. The old tricks are the best--make eye contact with one person and pretend you're speaking or playing only to them; I hear it's easier in a dark theatre because the spotlight makes it so you only see the first couple rows of people, not hundreds; and focus on your topic or piece and what you know about it. If you can, don't even look at anyone and pretend you're talking to yourself.

I'm no public speaker, but there are multiple resources available to help you if you want to pursue this problem. If not you can just gradually get less nervous the more you do it (maybe).

Q: My friend(not best friend) is moving! What do I do!? She's moving to Florida and she doesn't want to go. her mom is getting remarried. What do i do?
I don't want her to go and she doesnt want to go.

You smile and hug her, give her a housewarming gift, and write her letters. It's very simple.

Q: does anyone have any good advice on how to have the perfect hairdo or style so u can make boys heads turn when u walk by?

Shave your head, and I guarantee people will look.

bio

People have been coming to me for advice so long, I might as well do this all in one spot. I watch a lot of unfathomable Japanese TV and drink a lot of coffee. I'm a freshly-hatched Illustration major, formerly trapped & dying in the American South, now busily teaching phrases to all of Nagoya Japan. I'm always on the lookout for more video games and sushi.
I have lots of interesting pets. Wanna see my beetle?