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Long-term Boyfriend trouble
I have been dating a guy now for about 2 and a half years. We are both shy and moral people so we haven't done anything but kiss and cuddle together. I think that I love him because when we are close together and when he kisses me I get a feeling like no other (like electricity is running throughout my whole body constantly), but when we are not together and when he is not being loving toward me I feel like I want to end the relationship. We have a lot of differences in our personalities and our likes that constantly get in the way of the relationship, and I am always the one who gives into what he wants. He is a spoiled only child with parents who are close to being rich and I am a mature only child who was taught at a very early age the value of a dollar and my parents are divorced so we don't hve as much money (and my mom is kinda cheap). I am getting really tired of him trying to control me and always getting his way, but everytime I think about breaking up I can't do it because we have been together so long and I think I am ultimately afraid of being single the rest of my life if I don't stay with him. (I don't have any other guys that are even flirting with me at work or college) Do you think I should end it with my boyfriend or continue the relationship?
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Its obvious you are in love. You need to teel your boyfriend about these things that worry you. If he truly loves you he will understand and you will work everything out.
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I think you should tell hime exactly what you just wrote(except for the spoiled, rich etc. parts.) If he doesn't start acting better, then you might want to break up with him. Don't even think about not dating anybody again. That's stupid. And besides, being single is all that bad! Actually, it can be good for you.
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I think you need a break, even if it is a temporary one. Don't worry about being single the rest of your life. You never know what the future holds. Besides, would you rather spend the rest of your life with someone you had nothing in common with?
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The absolutely WORST reason to be in a relationship is "I don't want to be single". Being in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship is not only bogus and pathetic, it's demeaning and cheapens the value of YOU.
If, at two and a half years, you aren't even sure if you're in love, you're not. Really, you know when you are. You just know. It's genetic. Your lives are not compatable, and your personalities are at odds. You're a sweet and accomodating enough person to let him get his way, which makes him happy. Just think--if next time he wanted something you refused him, wouldn't you two get in a fight?
Probably... Most likely. A relationship is supposed to be a harmonious partnership, not one serving the other.
End it--college is not the be-all, end-all of the dating scene. Come on! You're better than that, aren't you? Please!
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Just because you enjoy making out with him doesn't mean you're necessarily in love with him, you know. You have to have a better reason than that to think you love him.
The part of your letter that got me really concerned was when you talked about him trying to control you. What's up with that? And why do you always give in? Can both of you try to change those habits? You're going to have to have a very honest conversation with him if you want things to improve.
Two and a half years is a long time, but there is absolutely no reason to think that you wouldn't eventually find someone else if you did break up. So what if no one is flirting with you right now? Do you expect them to, given that you *have* a long-term boyfriend? If you were single, and if you went out and made some effort to meet and get to know interesting guys, things might change a lot. It's not the responsibility of the male sex to present you with a an alternative boyfriend before you make a decision about whether this relationship is good for you. Judge it on its own merits, and if you conclude that it isn't going to work out, *then* start thinking about finding someone else. You've got plenty of time.
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Thats not good. Do you feel like you want to cry when you think about him? If so you should definetley break up with him. You sound like the kind of girl that needs her boyfriend almost all the time. You should find a guy that meats all of your expectations. Dont cut them any slack. If he makes you feel like your not good enough dont date him.
Lots of Love,
shay
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Before you do anything drastic, have you ever tried telling your guy how you feel...if not then it's about time you have a serious talk with him and see if he is willing to change his ways...If you've done this to no avail then I would think twice on pursuing this relationship. You shouldn't stay with him just because you are afraid that you won't be able to find yourself another guy - that is just shallow. If he is controlling to you know, it will just get worse as time goes by and far from worse when you get married.
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