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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
okay, i'm in algebra, and can anybody make up a problem in equality and inequality problems?
Where I live, we don't have "algebra" but we do have grade nine math, grade ten math, grade eleven math, and grade twelve advanced functions, calculus, and data courses. By algebra are you referring to the grade twelve course that is no longer taught in many areas? In any case.
if the question involves an asymptote:
(x-3)(x+5)(x-7)
-------------- < 0
(x-5)(x-2)
Or try it yourself, and just add different numbers to add and subtract to the x. You could also do it by not having an asymptote, ie, nothing dividing anything else, and just the x values. Any factoring question can be turned into an inequalities problem by adding a greater than/less than/ greater than and equal to/ less than or equal to sign replacing the =0 that usually comes with factoring questions.
I have an entire sheet of these problems, so if you provide email I may be able to email them to you.
What is that feeling called when you see the person you like and you get that feeling like rushes of energy shooting through your chest? my friend was curious and now I am too
You would describe the person having this feeling as having a crush on said guy. Otherwise, there is no specific "word", so you can get poetic with phrases like butterflies in the stomach, feeling tingly and red hot like a wire, ect, ect.
More cliched phrases: blown away, bowled over, swooning (fainting from liking someone).
If a guy that you like just broke up with his girlfriend, how long should you wait before you approach him?
There's no set time, but generally go slow. Get to know him as a friend, then start teasing/ flirting a little bit and see what happens. If he seems to be in the mood, continue. If he seems to still be out of it from getting over a relationship, go back to the "just friends and that's it" square.
Wait till he starts flirting back noticeably before doing something like asking him out. Otherwise it may freak him out as he wouldn't be ready for it. Subtlety is key =].
13/f
Well, I'm one of those stupid nerdy kids who are obsessed with Japan and anime stuff, so call me anything you like, but I am stuck. Just this year is when my interest began. Well, my best friend hates me now that I like this stuff. She sent me angry emails telling me I am foolish and have no idea what I am speaking of... She hates that I am interested in anime, Japan, making more friends, like perverted things, lemons and other things as such. I don't understand. Why would she be angry at me for this? Well, I asked her and she told me I used to be happy, which I couldn't help but laugh at. Yes, I did get passing grades in 6th grade, but I was depressed. VERY. I tried to shove everyone out of my life. She must think this is happiness because that is what she said. Well, now. I'm actually happy! I run around shouting like a stupid nerd. I act like I'm 7-years-old. I am happy, but she hates this. Why does she hate that I am happy? I tried to ask her, but she shoves me away by deleting my emails and telling me to shut up and ignoring me. Why does she hate me because I am different? It makes me a little angry that she hates my interests. She wants me to be like her. She wants me to be depressed. And, if she happens to be reading this. I want to tell her I'm sorry I'm not her... Please help somebody. Give me advice, but please do not make me change myself. I like being happy...! Thank you.
Society often teaches us that to be a good person we have to act a certain way. Words often used to describe this can be such as "poised" "classy", whatever, you get the picture. I have a feeling your friend has fallen victim to this way of thought, you know, the whole "Nerdy people can't be happy!! Weird people aren't cool!!!"
Let me tell you now, that all this is bullshit. It makes people feel superior to others when they have some level of "class", but they never learn to be themselves, never learn to be down to earth and accepting of all different people, and not just the ones that fit a certain definition.
Seems like your friend is plain uncomfortable with the change. You're different now, she may want her "old" friend back, she may feel uncomfortable about how you're acting.
But this doesn't mean you have to change. Not at all. You've grown apart, and that's perfectly fine. Explain to this "friend" that you like the way you are now, that you're happy, so if she's worried about this then she shouldn't be. Tell her that you don't appreciate her rudeness about your liking of lemons and anime, so you'd like her to stop being angry. Then, you either ignore her when she's being narrow-minded, or you slowly spend less and less time with her, tell her not to send you rude emails, and hang out with your friends that actually appreciate you.
Don't worry, as hard as it is, friends do come and go, simply because people go through many, many changes in life. Most friends should accept that you're not like them, and, if they are real friends, they'll like you for who you are, not what you are. Chin up, go call your anime-lovin friends, and forget about whoever is too dumb to believe in originality.
Ok well i have a boyfriend of over a year and i have been attracted to guys my whole life. i still love guys. but i think i also like girls too. like sometimes i will look of porno mags. of girls boobs and of them masturbating and i get horney, but i have never done anything with a girl except make out when i was drunk one time. my bf told me he likes bi girls and for some reason i just cant come right out and tell him i am...I just wanted to know if i could be bi or am i just going thru a faze? 16/f
You could be bi or you could be going through a phase, though what you tell your boyfriend is entirely up to you... I don't know much about your boyfriend, but it might make him unsettled if you tell him you're bi - then he may wonder who else you are attracted to!
For now, I guess you're either bisexual or bicurious; you don't have to really decide what you "are" now or ever. For now, enjoy hanging out with your boyfriend, and if you end up being in a relationship with a girl right now, you enjoy them as well =].
As you're not yet an "adult", your sexual preferences may shift around before you are really mature enough to find out what you "are," so don't sweat it.
okay,
i really like this guy and i think he likes me back. but he is really "sexual". he hugs me alot and holds my hands and we just met each other at the begining of this school year. my friend who is friends with him says that she went to his house and he was all over her and she isnt the only one. i really like this guy and i want to date him but im not really ready for all of that stuff. What do i do???
You go out with him, but put the two of you in situations where you'll be forced to go slow. For example, if you're worried about him being "all over" you, don't bring him to your house when no one else is home. For the first few dates, stick to public, well-lit places, ei, a coffee shop, the mall, the park during the day. You could also go on dates where you'll be doing things the entire time, ie paintball, minigolf, that kind of thing, so he can't really do much that's "sexual" because the activity will be taking up at least some of his time. You also might want to consider bringing friends around.
Something important to do no matter what the guy you are dating is like is to take a moment and figure out what kinds of things you are comfortable with on the physical-ness scale. Once you've cleared that with yourself, when guy you are dating starts to do anything you're uncomfortable with, you won't be wishy-washy uncomfortable. You can stop him and be like, "look, I'm not comfortable with that, yet. But I'll tell you when I am/ I won't be for a long looong time so stop."
You shouldn't ever feel like you have to be a certain way in a relationship, that because he is a certain way you have to be like that, too. Just relax, have fun with him, and respect your limits. In good relationships, people like their significant other because they like the person, not because they like [insert something sexual]. If you're able to be firm about what you are and are not comfortable with, you should be fine.
What would happen if I ate 5 month overdue candy? Specifically, maple nougats?
Probably, nothing, though you may get a bit of a stomach ache. I wouldn't worry about it.
im 13/f and 6 days ago my neck started hurting like a stiff neck and i dont know why. when i lean my head any way it hurts the left side of my neck only. i recenly had strep about the same time this starrtedd and i wanted to know if they are anyway related. also ive tried different pain relievers and none of them work. if youu have any idea on what it might be or how to ease the pain...HELP PLEASE!
It probably isn't related to your strep throat. Hopefully it's something like you sleeping on it funny. I could recommend things like Advil and ice for the pain, but honestly, if you want any REAL advice, you should see a doctor =]
i've liked guys but there's one thing i can't stand, getting over it. i get over them easily but my friends who know who i like all the time say like you know you still like him. That was 2007. the present is 2008!!! hello. i can't get them to stop. even though i don't like anyone at the moment.
They probably are having too much fun hearing you vehemently deny everything for them to stop =]
My advice is, the next time they say you like someone, sort of smile and shrug, or laugh along with them. Once they see you aren't bugged by them saying something, they'll stop saying it.
Okay well my ex boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago but lately we have been flirting alot and I have told him I like him but he keeps telling me that he wants to be my..."best friend" (men) anyways so at a party he asked me to dance but I said no because he likes my best friend Taylor and I know she kind of likes him but she is in LOVE with another guy. So anyways I told him that I was over him and that I wanted to be his BFF, well lately we have been flirting even more but so are me and his best friend who is also hot. But I kinda like another guy. Well today he totally put his arm around me and I really liked it so I didn't tell him to stop but I don't know whether to take that as hey best bud or I want you back? Plus there's the problem with his best friend whi I am totally flirting with all the time, and the other other guy who is super hot, tall, but he is sum times really boring to talk to. So anyone who understood a word of that please help because I'm sooooo tired of getting hurt by boys.
There probably is a part of your ex that wants you back, seeing as he's flirting with you a lot. If you don't want to get back together with him, and you probably don't if you like other guys, I'd stop flirting back... You don't have to tell him to take his arm off you, but you may want to cut back on some flirty-ness. Like if you are doing anything like sit on his lap or lean on him, you should stop (just an example =]).
It's fine to flirt with lots of people. It's fun, too =]. You won't get hurt by flirting, as long as none of it's too serious. Basically, my relationship 101 on these types of situations, where you're not too sure who likes you/ who you want to be with, is to take it slow. Get to know everyone and become their "best friend" so to speak. As well, the advice on the 101 page would be to not go with guys because they are hot. If you don't like talking to someone, it ain't gonna work, at least not longterm.
That said, don't stress too much, be casual, friendly, flirty, whatever, but don't get too attached unless you are sure at least about how you feel about someone. I can't say anything for the specific problem with the bff and the hot guy, since you haven't specified, but I'd say, if you wanted to, you could go for a few casual dates where other friends may or may not be around, and explain to him that, while you like him, you want a wait a bit until you are sure of everything before being in a "relationship" with him.
Good luck =]
i need a cute NOT COUNTRY/BLUEGRASS love song to put on my myspace for valentines day. any suggestions?
Plain White T's - Let Me Take You There
Chantal Kreviazuk - All I Can Do
Yellowcard - Shrink the World
Relient K - Give
The first two are my faves :P
Ok... So My Boyfriend has some.. family problems with his older brother/guardian....like Incessant rape? I can't take it anymore I've been understanding about it and since I live so far away I can't do anything to stop it but talk to my boyfriend and comfort him when he's depressed. Some of my other friends call me "the fortune cookie" because I'll change completely from a hyper bubbly girl to someone who seems as if they're reading off of fortune cookies!
Countless times I've talked him out of suicide and harming himself, I've even gotten him to stop taking drugs and drinking.
But It seems I've run out of things to say to comfort him, and today I asked him what was wrong.
"My life." was his answer.
I tried to explain it as shattered glass, to relate to how he was feeling. but if anything I think I made him worse off.
So not only does it depress me to see him depressed, to know he lies about how he feels so I won't worry, but him lying just makes me worry more.
I've often said to myself, " How's it feel to know everything you do never matters at all? "
When we first met he said I'd leave just like everyone else in his life, but here I am...a little over a year later! and as each day goes by, no matter how much I love him I'm beginning to think that maybe I've made his life worse off?
So what should I do?
I'm open to any suggestions
because if it's able to make him happy I'm willing to do anything...
I say what I mean and I mean what I say, so I hope you can do the same to help me before I crack and go back to my own ways before he made my life happier...
My advice would be to encourage him to seek some kind of professional help. It's can be a long, long, loooong process to get better from something like depression, but something like seeing a psychiatrist/therapist often helps after a while of agony. The trick is sticking it out.
Other than that, everything you've already done seems plenty in making him feel better. It's like this: you may help him an infinite amount, but when you have depression, all that happiness that you cause usually remains on this top level of your emotional side, the very top level, while right under the surface there is this huge mess of feeling dead and sad and useless all of the time. It's going to take a while for him to get better from this, not gonna lie. Largely, though, it's something that he's gotta fight. Hopefully, he'll have some sort of professional with him, but really, there's nothing along the lines of pep talks or chocolate cake that are going to make a difference. If you spend all your energy trying to make him happy, and then he gets to the point where he can't be happy, he'll just feel upset that he let you down when he knows you care so much about him.
Please, don't blame yourself for this, or tell yourself that you have not made his life better. Depression is this huge condition/disorder/thing that is pretty damn painful, confusing, and often scary for the people going through it. Getting over the depression is something huge and it takes something a lot more than a friendship or a relationship to cure it, or sometimes even to get the person feeling "happy."
What you have done so far for him is truly amazing, don't even try to kid yourself on that one. You've stayed with someone who is facing some serious mental shit and still want to do everything you can to help him. Rereading that line about how you've talked him out of cutting, drugs, drinking, and suicide, I almost can't believe it - those are some serious vices to crack.
If anything, take a little of the weight off your own shoulders - do you have anyone to talk about about this? His problems are serious, not easy things for you or I or his parents to solve. Having someone that listens to you, that stays by you even on your worst days is huge when faced with something like depression. In fact, it's probably the most you could do for him. Understand that, no matter how much you want to, depression is not something you can talk him out of. Once you accept this, accept that being the trusted confidante you already are is the most you can do to help him. This will take a huge weight off of your shoulders.
Please, don't feel like this is your fault, that you are responsible for this in any way. You've done so much to help this guy already.
Just as a side note, though, if it's true that he's being raped at home, telling a guidance councilor/social worker/kids help phone, or suggesting he do so, probably couldn't hurt.
Edit/ Additional Comments:
It can be hard to buck the system when everyone makes it seem like the only way to get better. Speaking from an insider, though, I can understand how "the system" is complicated, even flawed. Although it probably is the best way to deal with more serious forms of depression, there are alternative things that also help, and there are therapeutic things that don't involve traditional therapy. I'm no expert, but you could drop me one in my inbox if you'd like to hear the whole insiders/whatever has ever worked for me bit (though I don't claim to have gone through anything as intense as your boyfriend has). But really - sometimes even simple things like getting a good nights sleep, or exercising (endorphins are really good for you)can help.
Wish you both luck and hang in there =]
16/f with my first bf (he's 15, five months younger than me)
well, he's really REALLY experienced...I mean, this guy's been in relationships for like 10 years lol
well, I'm not into hookups. I'm into a really...passionate relationship. like, very loving.
we've been going out for 23 days.
and he's already grabbing at my crotch and feeling me up.
i mean, i like it and all. it's like fine...whatever.
but when he does sexual things like that, i feel really embarrassed. and he even QUESTIONS me after...like....why did you yell, you didn't like it?
sometimes he slowly forces things on me. like, he went up my shirt and onto my bra, and started touching me there. it's not that it feels uncomfortable..im just afraid he thinks I'm easy and he's using advantage of me. I'm a really shy/sensitive girl...and i'm also nice. so I don't want him to think I'm easy..
we're already makiing out, and I just feel like its too soon to be doing it. and he tells me he loves me ...
and he always tells me that he'd love to make love to me one day, and that he has dreams about giving me oral sex. I feel so awkward. He expects me to promise sexual things in the future..towards him.
I'm scared, really.
But I like him a lot. Its just that I'm not experienced so I don't know how to tell 'bad' guys from good.
Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I don't want to end up being raped :(
If you are worried about something like rape, it may be time to either sit him down and give him a serious talk, or rethink the relationship.
It's not that you're easy. It's just that you're uncomfortable with firmly voicing your concerns. When you are yelling in discomfort after he, say, grabs your crotch, and he asks you about it, tell him quite firmly that, yes, you are uncomfortable with what he is doing. Tell him everything you explained here. And if he does something you don't like, stop it right there.
You seem to have the tendency to just let things happen, ie, the feeling up. Don't. Think it over in your head to figure out what you are okay with and not okay with. When he talks about how much he wants oral with you, don't feel ashamed to say, "yeah, I guess you'd like to have oral... Personally I don't really know when I'd ready for that to happen, but please realize it's far in the future." If you can't voice something like that to this guy, for whatever reason, you can't be with him. I guess theoretically you could, but really, hon, all the feelings of being easy and use are only going to get worse if you don't speak up.
I was a little concerned with the rape line, but also how you said he "questions" when you yell. I'm not sure, from what you described, if he actually doesn't care about your comfort level, or if he just doesn't realize it. There are guys out there that are generally oblivious about the whole emotional level girls may need to experience certain things, who think it's fun and normal to do things like feel a girl up fairly early on. This isn't a bad thing, necessarily, but if you are not that kind of girl, you either have to be really firm so he doesn't continue to cross boundaries, or break up with him, if you can't find a way to get him to back off when you need him to.
There is no clear way to separate the "bad" guys from the good, as it mostly depends on how you feel about the guy/ the relationship. If you feel used, or scared in any way, this is a huge warning sign that something's not right.
Hi i'm 14/f
There is this boy that i absolutely love he is just so nice and great in every single way he really likes me too he even said he loves me in person.
I'm a really like 'good' girl and i'm asian so you know how family is like really important and you can't get a boyfriend you can only get married once your 25 or whatever.
I really want to go out with him and i know this realationship will last but i hate going behind my parents back but i really love him what do i do?
Thank you so so much
A good way to jump over the "you can't date until you're (insert age that gets bigger as you get closer and closer to reaching it)" hurdle is to get parents accustomed to a guy you like. This can be done in simple ways, like bringing him over to your house with a bunch of friends, as though he is merely someone you hang out with. Basically, you know that if you bring a guy over and say "hi, mom, dad, I want you to meet so and so. He's my boyfriend." you will be entering unchartered, potentially hostile territory. Them seeing you with a group of friends that includes said boy won't be anything new, special, and uncomfortable, as well, it's not behind anyone's back.
From there you gradually decrease the size of people invited to these get together things, or go out to, say, a movie with a group of people that, once again, includes him.
From there you carefully judge your parent's reaction. At this point they may or may not suspect that you like said boy. To judge properly, you leak out the information that you may like one of your friends, and see the response. If they don't seem to care, you're clear. If they give the "no dating" speech, you've got some work to do. If they don't seem to care, you mention going out one on one with guy you like. Actually, you could probably do this anyway, if they don't get suspicious and you don't tell them anything; you could be like, "yeah I'm going to meet so and so at the mall/park/whatever", and since they know him as one of your friends, you're in the clear.
If they're sortof lukewarm towards the whole thing, you could explain dating as you going out with a group of people somewhere that includes the guy, as something out in the open and public. this version of "dating" they are likely to agree to. Now, if you wanted to see this guy alone, you meet the friends briefly, then part ways for a while, meet them up again. Or something along those lines. Nothing that really breaches parental trust, and lots of time spent dating.
Have fun and Good luck =]
ok. i'd first like to thank everyone who has been answering my other quistions. I greatly apriciate it. BUt lets hope this is the final chapter. ( probably wont be) lol But ok here it goes. Since my mom new abot my boyfriend and i, I told him that I told my mom, that his bro and his bros gf had sex, ( knowing she wouldnt care) but my bf told his bro. ANd his bro is mad at me, and I know he has a right to be, cause I do get into other peoples buissness, but i'm working on it. N e ways, he got his gf ( who was my bf) mad at me. Were talking now, but i feel she has a right to be mad at me. But I mean, he's ALLWAYS butting in on mine and my bfs phone conversations. SO what do I do? Or what would you do?
You should calm down. If anything, you could explain that you told your mom just to make your own situation (you having sex, that is, not the mom freaking out part) more normal. Explain that your mom isn't going to rat them out (if she isn't planning on telling his parents). Tell him that you are sorry that you told something about his personal life to your mom. And that's all you can do. Eventually he'll get over it.
And now about what you'll do about yourself: don't blame yourself or beat yourself up. It's pretty normal to just vent random information to parents, because they aren't usually that involved in friend's social lives anyway and therefore they are a good, level-headed sounding board at times.
Have you told your parents about your decision not to have sex for a while? This may ease some of the tension. In the mean time, try not to get too upset at everyone though it seems like a lot of people are somewhat unfairly pointing their fingers at you. Listen to some calming music and just generally act nicer and more responsible around parents, siblings, ect. until this whole situation blows over.
what's a song that's good that gets across a message like: I want you, but im scared. or just songs in general that are about wanting someone. preferably no rap or r&b, please.
Cheap Trick - I want you to want me
Damien Rice - the blower's daughter
- Animals
- Accidental Babies
Rhett Miller- Question
- Our Love
Fefe Dobson - Don't let it go to your head (probably the most relevant song out of these suggestions =])
Avril Lavigne - These things I'll Never Say
The Coral - Dreaming of You
Hi,I read something somewhere about sperm taking like 7 weeks to mature or something? Is that true?
If it is what happens if you dont wait the amount of time from the last time. Like having a child wise.
Thanks
That may or may not be true. However, according to my bio textbook, guys make something like 1 billion sperm per day. So basically, guys have tons of sperm, all the time. There is no "right" or "wrong" time to have sex if you're worried about conception/not being able to conceive. However, girls are more fertile at certain times of the month than others - while a girl is on her period, she's not too fertile =]. So if you were trying to conceive/ get someone pregnant, you'd probably wait until the girl is about to get her period, where there is the most amount on lining in her uterus.
If you are asking this question from a standpoint of birth control - bad idea. Having sex at different times of the month to control fertility has one of the lowest success rates out of all the methods. I would recommend, instead, using a condom (or, if you're question is just random, ignore all the extra advice =])
Hey. :]
I'm currently 16 and in the eleventh grade, and Adam is in the same grade as I am, but he's a year older. Both of us are single, as we have been for awhile. I have never liked anyone as much as I like him.
He's perfect. He has a 4.2 GPA, he's gorgeous (and the envy of lots of other girls), he is in the top choir at our school, and he plays varsity baseball. He's the perfect height for me, and our senses of humor mesh so well. We definitely make each other laugh and have a lot of fun together.
On and off, I've liked him since the sixth grade. However, there was like a 3-year block when I didn't even think about him.
He has been sending me mixed signals. For example, when I asked him if he was busy at sunset (I was doing a photo shoot and I wanted him to swing by so I could take some pictures of him.), his response was, "Sadly, yes. :(( What are you doing?" We're talking more and more each day, and I compliment him a lot. He initiates conversation pretty much as much as I do.
His friends aren't my biggest fans, but I am friends with a lot of them. We share some of the same friends.
I don't want to put our friendship on the line by telling him how I feel, but I do kind of want to test the waters.
I just can't differentiate between friend feelings and girlfriend feelings.
Thank you. :]
(Oh, and please type correctly.)
You haven't written anything that makes it obvious that he could like you or not. Pretty much with girls and guys being friends there's usually a bit of a grey area where you could potentially like the other person.
The good news, though, is that if you've been friends for a while, the chances that he likes you, or has liked you at some point, are fairly high.
Test the waters by flirting. You don't have to profess your love or anything, but you could give some hinters by putting your head on his shoulder and arms around his side if you watch a movie or whatever, giving him hugs, kissing his cheek, or just plain teasing and joking around with him a lot. If he reciprocates, he probably likes you., but then, it also depends on how he normally acts with girls - some guys are just generally touchy-feely with everyone.
If all goes well with the flirting, try asking him out in a way that would make it clear that it's a date. This might be harder for you to do if you've been friends a while. Valentine's day is coming up, so, you could always send him a card then with some chocolates that hints you like him slightly more than in the friend way.
If the confusion remains, flat out telling him how you feel may not be a terrible idea, either. (or, you know, "do you want to go out with me?". If you're really close, you should be able to tell each other stuff like that, right?
well let me tell you all a story and whoever wants to can help me out.
about 3 years ago me and this boy Erin fell for eachother. my best gal pal melanie thought he was hot as well. we both agreed we wouldnt get mad at eachother if he just so happend to go out with one of us. we he just so happend to go out with me. she wasnt upset at all infact her and her new bf and me and erin would double date. well all of a sudden OUT OF NOWHERE i lost feelings for him. i really didnt want anything to do with him and didnt want to be near him. i ignored his phone calls and everything. i broke up with him through melanie on the internet, lame i know but it was the strangest thing! i dont know what came over me i just stop likiung him and began to actually hate him! i mean we got in a couple little fights and he ditched me on my b-day--i guess there were a few things that he did that relly got to me. anyways i really angered him and broke his heart so me and melanie developed a plan. she wasnt really into her bf but she did think erin was hot and we both new that. so0o afetr i broke his heart we decided for melanie to sweep in, make him happy again and they would go out. It worked. they dated for 2 years. i was absolutely fine with it. of course when we were all together i had no problem not speaking to erin. well over the years me and melanie drifted apart-she moved a far distance away from me and what not. well theyr relationship has diminished. melanie has
new bf she cheated on him with and all erin did was hold another girls hand at the mall. so they did eachother wrong but something very strange has happend to me. Ive been talking to erin alot. its like we were when we were together. i mean i always knew he was a fantastic guy! thats why it was so hard to figure out for myself why i left him. i think i like alot again. i thinkhe feels the same way. we joke about the past and about my sudden change of heart. im glad me and himare friends again but i dont know what to do. i want to see and he wants to see me. what if we go back out! i actually would love that! i think back then i was young and confused and hormoinal lol. ive grown up alot and have had other long term boyfriends. i dont think melanie would mind. i mean i would obviously talk to her about it but not until i know things for sure. so what do you advicenators think of my situation!!!!
Well it all depends on those stupid things that bugged you before. If they were serious (which it doesn't sound like they were) I'd advise against the relationship. However, if you've gotten over the birthday ditching scenario, and you don't think the things that used to bug you about Erin will bug you now, I'd say go for it!
If you both want to see each other, I think it'd be a good idea since there aren't any huge reasons why you shouldn't. It seems like Melanie has moved on from Erin, and since you aren't that close with her, dating him shouldn't be a big deal.
I'd be careful though, especially if it's like he just came out his relationship with Melanie. You may want to take it slower at first, because of this, and also because you might be less likely to lose interest in each other.
Good luck =]
When I was younger, I used to be very hyper and energetic. I wasn't afraid to act a little crazy sometimes, and I was very confident. However, now I'm 15 and naturally, I got more mature. In fact, people say that I've changed a lot, and that I've become boring. I thought that I was just being immature, but people used to like being around me. Should I go back to being playful and carefree, or am I too old for that now?
The problem with looking back on childhood is that people tend to make it all rosy and carefree whenever their current life feels suckish. Sure, you were well liked, energetic, and confident, but maybe there was a good reason for loosing those qualities. People are very adaptable. Maybe your energy made schoolwork harder, who knows?
In that light, it's good to have some energy and craziness every now and then. I'd suggest letting yourself go a little. A lot of people tend to stick to one way of doing things - maybe go to a really random club after school, or find something you really like and explore it further. If you like art, for example, you could try out your drawing skills at random.
I personally don't think that anyone is too old to be playful or carefree, but there's certainly a time and place for it. I'd suggest doing more random things with your friends, or if you hear about something cool that they're doing, ask if you can come. Spontaneity is always good. Like, when you see a piece of cake in a store that you want to eat, how many people just go and get themselves cake? So go ahead and buy it. Or wear mismatched socks. Little things like that, they just make life so much more fun.