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crush
okay,
i really like this guy and i think he likes me back. but he is really "sexual". he hugs me alot and holds my hands and we just met each other at the begining of this school year. my friend who is friends with him says that she went to his house and he was all over her and she isnt the only one. i really like this guy and i want to date him but im not really ready for all of that stuff. What do i do???
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i dont think you should date a guy you wont be comfortable with cuz you just said that your not ready to be havin a guy be all over you.
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This is going to sound so cliche but: if he really loved you for real, he wouldn't care whether you're ready or not. If you aren't confident about whether he'll understand or not he's not the right guy. Seriously.
I think it's sweet you want to stick with him. Maybe if you're not ready, you should try it out though, you know? Like if you're not ready but you never try it, you'll never be ready. You have to start somewhere. No one stays a virgin forever (I know we weren't speaking of actual sex, but you know what I mean).
Just start with holding hands. If he tries something you really aren't ready for, sort of pull away. I'm sure hugging and holding hands isn't that bad for you.
-Jenni C ♥
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You go out with him, but put the two of you in situations where you'll be forced to go slow. For example, if you're worried about him being "all over" you, don't bring him to your house when no one else is home. For the first few dates, stick to public, well-lit places, ei, a coffee shop, the mall, the park during the day. You could also go on dates where you'll be doing things the entire time, ie paintball, minigolf, that kind of thing, so he can't really do much that's "sexual" because the activity will be taking up at least some of his time. You also might want to consider bringing friends around.
Something important to do no matter what the guy you are dating is like is to take a moment and figure out what kinds of things you are comfortable with on the physical-ness scale. Once you've cleared that with yourself, when guy you are dating starts to do anything you're uncomfortable with, you won't be wishy-washy uncomfortable. You can stop him and be like, "look, I'm not comfortable with that, yet. But I'll tell you when I am/ I won't be for a long looong time so stop."
You shouldn't ever feel like you have to be a certain way in a relationship, that because he is a certain way you have to be like that, too. Just relax, have fun with him, and respect your limits. In good relationships, people like their significant other because they like the person, not because they like [insert something sexual]. If you're able to be firm about what you are and are not comfortable with, you should be fine.
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