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Hi! At this point, I'm just checking back when asked a question. When my life gets less hectic, I'll start browsing to find questions to answer. But please ask; I will answer within 24 hours.advice
tommorow at school we'll have to do a run for 12 minutes and i have a soar throat. if i run for that amount of time my throat will taste like blood and i dunwant to make it worse so what can i do to fix my soar throat?
Your best bet is to get a parent to write you a note excusing you from "strenuous activity" and/or PE.
hi i have a 3 yearold daughter but latly she been out of control she dont listen she is very bossy she wont potty train she hits throws things around gets into everything what can i do to help with all of this everyone is getting mad cuz she is not potty trained yet ive tryed pottys and the adult toliet but nothing works ive tryed soap and spankings and took her toys away but nothing is working can someone help me
liz
Sounds like you got the terrible twos a bit late! We've got ours a few months early on our latest baby. Don't panic, it's not hopeless. :)
Consistency is the key. If the same action always has the same result, she'll learn that to do X means that Y will happen.
Hitting can be dealt with by restraining her. When she hits someone, hold the hand she hit them with up or out, away from her body, and look her in the face. Tell her "No hitting" and count to 30 slowly while holding the hand. She will most likely try to hit you with the other hand. When she does, grab that hand, repeat "no hitting" and start counting over. She'll scream and such at first, but she'll figure it out after the first few dozen times or so. She won't stop hitting that fast, she'll just stop trying to hit you and she'll scream less when you restrain her.
For other things, 3 is old enough for "Time Outs". You should start them at 2 or 3 minutes. Try to put her in the corner or on her bed (with no toys) and see if she will stay there. If she won't, you will have to hold her at first until she understands what's going on. As in, you sit in the chair, or on the couch, and put her in your lap, facing away from you. Wrap your arms around her gently, pinning her arms to her sides. You may have to pin her legs with yours too if she's a kicker. You want to be gentle, use just enough pressure to keep her from squirming away. Don't start the timer until she's stopped screaming her head off. Sniffles are ok, screaming is not. If she's been screaming for a while, one minute may be enough time afterwards.
You need to be firm and consistent with her. Whenever she's being punished for something, tell her at the start and the end what she did wrong in terms she can understand. You can't have a calm conversation with a screaming 3 year old. You can firmly and calmly tell her "No hitting" or "No throwing in the house", both before and after.
If a toy is involved with misbehavior, I give it 3 strikes. Each time, I hold onto the toy and/or the child and repeat the rule that needs reinforcement. On the third strike, I repeat the rule and tell the child that the toy is going away. For our not-quite-two year old, that's usually as simple as "No hitting the TV with the car. The car is going bye-bye until tomorrow." Yes, he usually cries for a few minutes. Sometimes he even throws himself on the floor and kicks and screams. I let him. When he's done, he usually comes over for a hug, and I give him one, then give him some other toy to play with.
If you want her to learn to speak in a "less bossy" tone and style, you will have to make sure she hears people speaking nicely. She's a little young to be expecting her to have learned nice manners, but you can help by repeating back what she says in the proper way. For instance if she says "I want milk!" you can say to her "Will I get you a glass of milk? Yes, I will get you a glass of milk when you say please." and wait until she says please to give her the milk.
The important part is to stay calm, not to give into tantrums, and to be consistent with what behavior is acceptable and what behavior isn't.
The only advice I have about potty training is to make sure that she knows that "big people" use the potty. Let her see you using the toilet, and look in the toilet to see what's in there. Tell her "see, it's the same stuff that's in your diaper, but I go potty/pee/poop/ in the toilet instead of in a diaper." When you need to go to the bathroom, say out loud "Mommy needs to go potty! I better get into the bathroom and sit on the toilet!" while putting a hand on your belly.
Make sure that other people who watch her all agree on what's ok for her to do and what's not, and what consequences things have.
Good Luck, and remember, this too shall pass. :)
I was wondering, what's hooking up, because my mom's always talking about it (she's 29, i'm 10) and i think it has something to do with having sex, but i'm not sure.
Well, I'm 27, and I use the phrase "hooking up". Most of the time I mean "meeting" - like yesterday I told Diane that "we need to hook up" because I borrowed her coat and need to return it. If I say that "I finally hooked up with Jacob" I mean that got to spend time with him - and that I thought it had been too long between visits. Sometimes, when talking about other people, I'll say something like "Do you think Kelly and Jeff are ever going to hook up?" I'm asking if they are ever going to see each other romantically.
You can always ask your mom what she meant by the phrase any particular time.
I suspect there is more to this question that just wanting to know the meaning of the phrase, but it could be a few things, and I don't want to jump to conclusions. If you have questions about your mother or her activities, she's the best person to ask. Just realize that even though she's your mother, she has a right to a privacy. Wether or not your mother is having sex with anyone, she's still your mother. How she feels about someone else (and what she does with them) isn't going to change how she feels about you.
okay i believe in god but i guess i doubt it somtimes, i get scared of "what if there isnt one" and is there a heaven :/ i think i should go to church to build up more faith but then again i dont get how that could actually help... I really get upset over this, any suggestions?
Doubting doesn't mean that you have no faith. It means your smart enough not to let people use the word "faith" to override your common sense and intelligence. Neither faith nor fear should never override your ability to ask questions. I am immediately suspicious of anyone who tries to shut me up by threatening me in any way - and that includes things like "don't ask why, just do as I say so you can go to heaven". There is nothing wrong with doubt. It's the sign of a thinking mind.
There are hundreds (if not more) organized religions in the world. Millions of people are spiritual without belonging to any organized religion. There are atheistic paths of Buddhism and "religions" like secular humanism. You are not the first person to wonder if there is a god or a heaven.
Because of this, people who do believe in any particular religion will write "apologies" and other essays and books to convince people that the author really does have a grip on it. Many people who are doubting their religion turn to those texts for help when their holy scriptures and experiences of the divine aren't enough.
It's never a bad idea to check out different religions. There are tons of monotheistic sects that believe in heaven - and probably some that don't. :) The more you know about other religions, the more sure you can be that the one you've chosen for yourself is a good match for you.
More importantly spending time with people who act in a manner that you respect and admire (at least most of the time - no one is perfect) is good for you. If you find those people at a church, by all means spend more time there. If you find them at a coffee-shop, homeless shelter, computer lab, or basketball court spend time there.
If you need help finding information on a particular religion, let me know.
Happy learning!
A dark bruise has appeared on my left breast. i didnt hit it or anything, it just appeared. it started off bluish and now the background is yellowish.Im extremely worried and dont know what to do.what could it be?
It's ok, don't panic. Bruises frequently start off bluish and turn yellowish; that's totally normal.
Bruises on breasts happen. Breasts have an awful lot of little blood vessels in them. Sometimes you sleep on them funny, and one breaks. Sometimes a bump that's barely worth noticing causes a bruise. If a bruise appears in the same place more than once, check and make sure your clothes aren't causing pressure there. If they're not, go to the doc and see if they can find anything.
Generally speaking, bruises aren't something to worry about unless they appear frequently, are really big, or appear in the same place more than once without apparent cause.
How do you write a poetry essay? My title is 'compare the way the poets use the idea of time passing and it's effects in each of the poems'. I'm writing stuff about how the rhyme scheme in one creates the idea of time passing quickly and in the other how the rhyme sceme makes it sound like time is passing slowly because you have to read it slowly...and then stuff like, 'this poem is about...blah' and 'this other poem is about...blah'...but I'm not sure I'm doing it right...none of my points seem to relate to my title. Any pointers?? I'm not asking you to do this for me, just give me some hints on how to write a decent poetry essay (i.e. what to include?). Thanks loads!!
Outlines and Brainstorms are your friends. :)
In this case, since the prompt is "compare", make two columns - one for how the poems are similar, and the other for how the poems are different. Each item on each list can become the topic sentence for a paragraph. A paragraph can be sort, containing the topic sentence, a sentence or two about each of the poems (quotes are good here), and a sentence or two to clarify/reinforce your topic sentence.
An example of how I'd start if I were comparing these two poem fragments:
1. excerpt from Fire, from Verses from the Center, translation by Stephen Batchelor
Were the fire its flames,
Act and actor would be one.
Were flames something else,
They could not have lit this fire.
Independent and alone,
Eternal flames would burn forever -
Actors with no acts.
2. excerpt from Litany of Fire, by Patricia Monaghan
Smoke tree and smoke thorn,
// bonfire, bonfire, //
Flame of the forest,
// Death pyre, needfire, //
Firewheel, firethorn,
// Wildfire, balefire, //
All come to ashes,
// Greenfire, seedfire //
Similarities: both poems have the topic of fire, both poems were written in religious context,
Differences: sentence vs lyric, speed reflection of spirituality
I'll make a paragraph from the "sentence vs lyric" item.
The speed of the poems is primarily a result of the choice between prosey (ok, I probably just made that word up) and lyrical poetry. Batchelor takes a sentence that could be used in prose and splits it half to make lines for his poem. The words needed to make complete sentances force Fire to be read leisurely. It can be read in a conversational tone. Monaghan uses short 4 and 5 syllable strings of 2 to 4 words to create a line. Litany is hard to speak, but lends itself easily to chanting or singing. It's hard to say the in-between lines slowly, even if your force yourself to slowly sing the major lines. The poets choose between prosey and lyrical sets the speed of the poem, and profoundly affects the feel and effect of the poem.
See how it works? If you have any more questions, please don't hesitate to ask. :)
i have a big butt and i kinda get made fun of my people and i wish my butt wasn't that big cuz its really noticably big and its hard to get certain kinds of pants. what exercises can i do to make my butt smaller? suggestions would be great thx
Different people have different body shapes. I know it sucks to be teased because of your body shape, and I really wish I knew a way to get people to stop making cruel comments about things that are genetically determined. No one thinks it's ok to make fun of someone because of the type of hair they have; it should be equally unacceptable to make fun of people due to the frame of their bones or the places their body prefers to store fat.
Unfortunately, you can't loose fat just on one part of your body. Exercise will help you loose fat in general. If your a bit heavy anyway, that might produce the best results. If your on the thin side except for your butt, be careful that you don't become underweight trying to loose your butt.
You can tone specific muscles, and that does have a noticeable effect on appearance. Your butt muscles are the gluteus maximus, minimus, and medius, or "the glutes". The exercises suggested by other columnists are pretty common for toning the glutes.
Good Luck, and don't get so hung up on changing your body that you forget how wonderful it is!
Lol well every time I try to clean my room, I start with one area, and put all the stuff I do/don't want into piles. But I end up having nowhere to put the stuff, and kind of leave it in a bigger mess than before! My room is a HUGE mess, my bin isn't big enough so I have rubbish on the floor and on my desk. I want to tidy my room, but I just.. can't lmso ;P Help?
When you start cleaning next time, get two big garbage bags. One is for trash, and one is for stuff to be donated to charity. Don't overstuff them, when they're 3/4 full, put the trash outside or the charity bag by the door, and get another bag. Instead of putting the stuff you do want into a pile, put it where your going to keep it, or at least where your going to keep it for a while.
If you think doing the room all at once will be too overwhelming, try splitting things up into an hour or so. One day, concentrate on getting all trash you can find. The next day (or weekend), you could fill up one big trash bag of things you don't want anymore to give to charity. Then work on finding all your clothes. If they don't all fit in your closet or drawers, figure out which ones your going to get rid of. (That might need to be split up over a few sessions - one for tops, one for bottoms maybe.) I don't know what fills up your room, but you get the idea. :)
The important thing is not to make stacks. Whenever you find trash, it shouldn't go into a "trash stack" it should go into a trash bin or a trash bag. When you pick up a pencil, don't put it in a "school stuff I want to keep" stack, put it in your backpack, or your schools stuff drawer, or where ever you keep pencils.
okay, i would REALLY like to shed a few pounds and get a nice flat stomach for spring break. I always tell myself that im gonna eat less & drink more water, but i never do, and i get a guilty conscience because i cant ever follow through with my goals. What are some tips that could really inspire me to want to be skinny & loose weight..everytime i start working out it only goes on for about a week..and then i`ll skip a day and say 'well i`ll do it tomorrow, i`m busy tonight" and then never do it the next day, and it just keeps going on and on til i forget about it. im really desperate, anything will help
I know it sounds elementary schoolish, but I've found that it really helps me out to make a chart. I have a chart with the days of the week down the side and the stuff I want to do everyday across the top. When I'm feeling really down on myself, I use foil stars, otherwise I just use check-marks. Then I look back and go "oh no, I've skipped 2 days, I better do my leg lifts, like, right now!". Or "wow, I've done my leg lifts every single day this week, I'm going to set aside an hour this afternoon to take a bubble bath complete with scented candles and that fancy soap I've been waiting for a special occasion to open." You'll have to be creative when rewarding yourself. Don't fall into the trap of spending lots of money, or letting yourself pig out on chocolate ice cream every time you remember to exercise. :) If you find that your meeting your goals too easily, instead of every day in a week, make it all but 3 days in a month, or something like that. Your goal has to be obtainable, but not easily obtainable.
I find it helps to have an exercise partner. I started taking a karate class at the local community center (it's a lot cheaper than a dojo). In the past, to motivate myself to exercise, I've set dates to walk with my mom 3 times a week for a 1/2 hour each time, met with a friend at her apartment's weight room once a week for an hour, invited the next door neighbors kid over to swim races with me every sunday afternoon, and had a friend that would do sets of sit ups while I did sets of leg lifts and we'd check in with each other every night over IM.
I've been working on loosing weight, and I've been putting 6 pairs of jeans in my drawer. 2 that are a little too tight to be comfy (but will zip up if I struggle), 2 that fit nice, and 2 that are a little loose. About once a week, I'll forget which pair is which, and grab the tight ones. When I grab a pair that's too big, or I can't find a pair that's too tight, I know I've lost some inches/weight. I go into the box and get 2 more pair that are a little too tight (I've got some few hand-me-downs, and some from thrift stores, so I didn't spend more than $5 a pair). I then put the 2 pairs that are too loose in the bag to send to goodwill. It's important to have a few pairs available that are a little loose if your a woman (since for a week out of the month, they won't be too loose anymore).
Good luck!
13/f. OH MY GAWD. K so like I just have a 5 person orgy. (we usd condums) but the guy I was doing at the time has an std and he wore a condom but it broke and he spermed in me. And then I had sex with 2 other guys and rubbed my vagina on a chick. We all might be in danger. Today my vagina was bleeding! What do I do? I might be pregnant and have an std, and Im apposed to have sex again today with a different guy! Wut do I do?!?!?! help me!!
xoxo
P.S. Dont call me a slut cause im not!
First of all, in the very slight chance that this question is real, you need to call planned parenthood or a battered women's shelter and let them help you get some serious help. Not just with the possibility of pregnancy and STDs, but with whatever lifestyle is involved in a 13 year old being regularly involved in life-risking activities. Whatever your situation is now, you need a big change.
STDs are not transmitted only by semen. Some are transmitted by skin to skin contact too. Anyone not in a closed group of sex partners needs to be tested for STDs regularly. AIDS tests are usually free and should be taken every 6 months, other STD tests can be taken every 3 months for those who are as sexually active as you are.
I'm not going to call you a slut because a slut is someone who choses to have sex with a lot of people. At 13, I'm not sure you have ability - and you've demonstrated you don't have the background knowledge - to have made a conscious informed decision to act like this. Your being exploited, and I'm willing to bet that at least some of these guys are old enough to make it statutory rape. Please, get help.
My boyfriend and I have been dating since I was in eighth. He is currently a senior and I'm a junior. I haven't made a decision as to where I'd like to go to college yet because I don't want to be far from my boyfriend. Yes, I know I am young but my boyfriend and I wanted to eventually get married and live together when we both got out of highschool. My question is this: Do you think it's the wrong thing to do choosing to go to the same college or one near the college your boyfriend is going to, just to be near to him? I know people that would think it's a stupid idea, but I want to be with my boyfriend. We've talked about it alot and I'm not sure what I'm going to do! I was even thinking about this back when I first started dating him 4 years ago. These four years have gone by fast and I figured I'd have a plan in place by now. I just need help. I don't know where I should go! Also, I don't even know what I want to do for a living, so I was going to see if there was anything at the colleges that he chose. Does that seem like the wrong thing to do? PLEASE HELP! I'm so lost and confused.
I'm going to make a departure from my usually rational advice and tell you to go for it. :)
It's totally normal to not have a clue what you want to do. If your boyfriend is going to a University, it should have plenty of options available for you. You can enter as "undecided", and make up your mind later.
If your boyfriend is going to "Party U." on a sports scholarship and the school's only programs are football and underwater basket weaving, then you probably don't want to go there. :)
If you don't know what you want to go for, picking any reasonably good college for the first two years should be fine. When you decide what you want to do, you can decide if you will need to change schools.
I usually tell people not to make big decisions like this based on teenage relationships, but one of the very few things I regret in life is doing the "right and rational" thing and going to the "good school" rather than following my heart when I got out of high school.
Good Luck, in your choice of schools and your life. :)
as said on the subject i have a plugged nose and a soar throat.. the end part of my throat is really really itchy and i can't make it stop ='( and my ears hurt they feel kinda really itchy too i've been rubbing it with a qtip buh it doesn't work wut else can i do? what kinda medicine shud i take? is buckleys good? they advertise it alot.. plz help.. thx
Open your mouth and look in the mirror. If there are two big lumps coming out of the sides of your throat, or if the back of your throat and the thing that hangs down looks extra shiny, or if there are white spots, you have an infection.
If you have an infection, your best bet is to go to the doctors. They will be able to tell you if it's a virus or a bacterial infection. Bacterial infections are cured with antibiotics. It is common for infections to spread between the ears, sinuses, and throat.
If you cannot get to a doctor, fresh garlic is your friend. Dried garlic doesn't work. Garlic is a known antibiotic and will help your body fight off bacterial infections. Fire soup can be made by adding as much (fresh) garlic, rosemary, ginger, and hot pepper as you can stand to any clear soup. I use chicken noodle or lentil usually, but the type really doesn't matter (as long as it's not a cream soup like clam chowder). You won't taste the soup.
If you have a lot of phlegm or mucus, limit your dairy intake.
Be very very careful with q-tips in your ears. If you think there might be an infection (or a wax build up) in your outer ear, you can dip the q-tip in hydrogen peroxide. Be very very careful not to put the q-tip in too far. If it hurts, you've already put it too far in. You can also drip the peroxide into your ear. I know people who claim that they hear the fizzing for a long time, but it always stops for me after a few min.
If your looking for immediate relief for your throat, there are numbing sprays available. Drinking tea with lots of honey will coat the throat and keep it from being irritated by gunk dripping from your sinuses.
I hope some of this helps and that you feel better soon. :)
Can someone help me translate a few things into spanish for me?
Only if you tell us what they are.
Oh my goodness okay well i havent had my period in about 40 days and i thought that maybe i just skipped a month. I have my first boyfriend right now and we're really close and we were on a vacation thing together..we didnt do anything sexual AT ALL and my mom just asked me if i was pregnant!! and now im terrified because i dont know why im so late and i thought i just skipped a month but i guess not..im definetely not pregnant but my mother scared me and now im really worried! please..could someone please give me a reaosn why my period could be so late?
It depends on how old you are. If your period has been regular for years, and you've skipped a month, go to the doctor.
If your just starting your period, don't sweat it. Be honest with your mother about your sexual activity. If she's still concerned, have her take you to the doctor to get everything checked out.
Generally, doctors don't worry about irregular periods until after age 16 - sometimes not till 18.
Even in usually regular adults, stress can cause skipped or late periods. If a woman's body fat percentage drops below a certain point, her period will stop until she gains enough weight to convince her body that it's not suicidal to get pregnant. Also, certain forms of birth control stop periods. Pregnancy is still a pretty common cause of skipped periods, but if you really haven't done anything that would bring semen in contact with your vulva, you've got nothing to worry about. It can't fly through the air! :)
If you don't get a period this next time, you should go to the doctor. They'll give you a pregnancy test, and probably a test for hormone levels, and just check things out. If not getting your period regularly causes stress, they may prescribe the pill just to help everyone relax. :)
do you think it is weird that a 17 year old is going out with a 13 year old, even if they love eachother more than anything in the world?
I don't think it's weird, I think it's dangerous. In many places, it's also illegal for any normal romantic relationship activity to take place. The legal aspect alone puts a stress on the relationship and limits the avenues for support for both people. Everyone needs a support network - even in the best of all relationships people need friends they can talk about the relationship to.
Not to mention the lifestyle aspects. At 17, one is just entering the age that Western culture sets aside for exploration of the world and one's place within it. A 13 year old cannot participate in this exploration - s/he has neither the experiences of being a teenager, nor the freedom from oversight required. (If somehow the 13 year old does have the freedom from oversight required to participate in activities appropriate for a 17 year old, the child is a victim of neglect, and needs a parent, not an SO.)
An exclusive, long term (by the 17 year olds standards) relationship at 13 will stunt social and emotional growth. On this site for instance, we see young teens saying "I've been with him for a month already" as if that's a long time. For a 17 year old, a month isn't a long time - the relationship is still in it's beginning phase. For a 23 year old, a month of seeing someone nearly every day is about how long it takes to starting thinking about making it an official relationship, and at 27, you're still at wondering if a third date is worth the bother of getting dressed up.
There is almost nothing about a person that stays the same between the ages of 13 and 23. If the 17 year old really loves the 13 year old, s/he would do what's best for the child. That does not include an exclusive romantic relationship with a 17 year old.
The rest of this is based on the comment below that implies you have said elsewhere that the two of you are "soulmates".
It's possible that the two of you do love each other very much, and will make good mates for each other after you both finish growing up. Love is not enough to make a stable, functional relationship. The two of you need to grow as individuals before you can grow together as a couple.
When the two of you are 23 and 27, I will wholeheartedly support a decision for an exclusive romantic relationship. The most important part of a lasting relationship is that it's based on a firm friendship. If you really care about each other, stay friends, and support each other's age-appropriate growth.
In your opinion, is 13 years old too young to be fingered? If you really can't get any STDs then what's the harm?
Honestly, age all by itself is a bad thing to look at. I lost my virginity at 12, and looking back on it, I don't regret it, but I also don't recommend it. I don't think it's ok for a 13 year old to be in a romantic or sexual relationship with a 16 year old, or a 10 year old, or anyone older or younger than that.
If there are two 13 year olds who are comfortable with their bodies, and want to explore them a little more, there's nothing inherently wrong with that - even if that exploration involves putting pointy body parts in bodily orifices.
There are health issues - for both parties. Some STDs - herpes for instance - are spread through skin to skin contact. As in, Person A has genital herpes, scratches themselves the day before the sores become visible, then touches Person B's genitals before washing their hands. Person B may contract herpes. Scratches on mucus membranes tend to be a bit uncomfortable, and are more likely to get infected then scratches on exposed skin.
There are also social issues involved. Parents in the USA almost universally think 13 is too young for their children to do anything sexual - even though most of them got their first kisses around that time. If having rumors spread about you might be an issue, you might want to talk about that first. You may also want to consider if you might have to lie to your parents, or how much trouble you could get into. Honestly, at 13 I was more concerned about the rumors, but it is something to consider, however briefly. :)
Everytime i talk on the phine with my boyfriend and we discuss sexual stuff, like maybe taking our relationship to the next step, i start to shake and i shake like i'm really cold, but i'm not..and even hours afterwards i keep shaking. What's going on?
Shaking is definitely a fear reaction. You don't say you feel nervous, and your shaking goes on for quite a while. I'm definitely not a professional, but I think something is up here. If you have access to a psychologist or councilor, I suggest talking to one. If not, find someone you can trust with your fears and secrets - someone who wasn't around when you were a baby or kid - and talk to them about it. Let yourself ramble on.
Try some experiments - does this happen whenever you talk about sex with anyone? Does it only happen when you talk about certain particular parts of sexual interaction? Does it only happen on the phone, or do you start to shake when you talk about it in person? What about when your write about it?
I agree with previous advisors that you should not go "to the next step" until you've at least figured out the cause of the shaking.
Ok, my ex-boyfriend and I are friends now. And we had a talk about my love life. He wanted to know so I told him. I brought up that one of my crushes is kind of offstandish towards me and he replied "one day he'll wake up and see the morning blossom." Then later he asked which one of my crushes I want to die with. What does all of that mean?
There's a good chance he still "likes" you. That doesn't necessarily mean he want's to get back together with you though. He might, or he might like things the way they are now with the "romantic tension". If you were wanting to get back together with him, these conversations would be a clue that he won't flip out if you bring up the subject. :) If you don't want to get back together with him, just keep things casual and brush off comments like that. If the comments start to annoy you, let him know that you value his friendship, but it makes you uncomfortable when the two of you talk about your love life (or whatever it is specifically that bugs you).
Hey im 13 years old and im a size 34B and i like to wear sports bra because they are most comfortable on me. The problem is that when I put them on my nipples show through the shirts even when Im wearing a bra. I dont know what to do and I dont want people to assume that im a slut or anything because i think this is gross too. What should I do as far as this issue?
Sports bra's are great. If your already wearing one with a liner and still having a problem with your nipples poking out, it's possible that your ready to go up a size. Many women wear a different size in sports bras than they do in "regular" ones.
When you get cold, turned on, or if your hormones do random things (which they will over the next several years) your nipples might show through a tight shirt even with a good bra. It happens to everyone. Adults know this from experience, and I can't imagine one passing judgment on you just for that. Style and skimpiness of clothing are much more likely to be targeted. :) I couldn't figure out what my peers were thinking when I was 13, so I'm not going to venture a guess about yours.
I do understand being embarrassed about it when it happens, though. In all honesty, most of the time, no one notices but you. Occasionally grandmothers and dates notice things like that, too, but most of the time, unless you ask someone specifically if they notice, they won't.
I don't know what to do for my friends 13th birthday(dont worry im 14) any ideas? she wants me to throw her one
I'm sure your going to get a whole bunch of ideas from people, so I won't list the usual things. I'll just list a few things that might help you get around some common snags. :)
No matter what type of party you throw, you'll have to start out by getting some parents in on it. Especially hers. If you have the party at someone's house, whatever parent owns the house is going to have a lot to say about what you can and can't do, when the party is over, how many people can come, etc.
If your somewhere where the weather is nice, one way to get around a lot of the restrictions a parent might have is to throw the party at public park. For the "important" things - like the cake, candles, plates, silly hats, whatever is important - have people who are sure to be there assigned to bring one (or maybe two) things. Then tell everyone else to bring the "extras" - soda, balloons, candy, gifts for the b-day girl, etc. If a parent is worried about being responsible for all these kids, at a public park you can always word the invitations for so-and-so and a chaperone.
If having one big party isn't going to work, you might want to try a chain of mini-parties. Like, find someone in each of her classes to give her a "party favor" at the start of class. Bring a cupcake for her at lunch. After school on friday, have someone or three take her to a movie, then have someone else or two pick her up and take her to a birthday dinner, and then take her to someone else's house to spend the night. If there's a problem with having an actual party, that's a way to make her b-day special without actually throwing a party.
hope this helped.