ccupcake07's advice column

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Q: i have random bumps on my hands and even on my face and chest! they are not acne-related. they arent red but are like flesh colored and raised little circles on the skin like goosebumps that once you scratch them they remain raised! they look like scars and are noticeable but small.

what are they? i cant figure it out.

what the? =[[

I'm not really sure exactly but sometimes you get sweat bumps. They are when you sweat a lot in certain places. They just stay there when you sweat a lot. Do to a docter and find out for sure though.

Q: I always have real bad morning breath when I wake up. why is this, n how can I make it so that I don't get morning breath?

You might sleep with your mouth open and not even know it. That makes your mouth dry and that causes lots of germs which can make you breath smell. There isn't a way to stop it, just brush your teeth first thing when you wake up. Hope this helps!

Q: 14/F I have this best friend that I absolutely love. He is so cool and makes me feel good.He is not popular neither am I. That is why people make fun of him. He also has a deaf ear. I don't know wheather to listen to everyone in my school or date the uy that makes me feel absolutley awesome. Like I am in heaven. Please Help

~~~Unicyclegurl~~~

Don't listen to everyone else. Listen to your heart. I know that sounds corny but if he is a good guy for you and you like him a lot and he likes you, go for it. You shouldn't care what other people think. It's about your happiness. Hope this helps!

Q: oh my god.... one of my closest friends is married with a kid and her god forsaken husband cheated on her again. and he lied about it until she threw proof at him... she is the most loyal person i know and she is very loving. she takes care of everything and works and studies in the same time (not to mention her daughter) and her husband just sticks to the tv and does nothing because he is really really addicted to wwe and ufc. (he records and re-watches them every hour of the day) if not he is playing video games. she even got him a job through her contacts as a game tester and filled in his college application and loans and everything... and then she found out what he'd done and was on the verge of suicide.. i calmed her down that is not the issue but she doesn't know what to do next and she wants to leave him! i really want to help her get rid of this (her family is not too keen with divorce and i live with five roommates!!) she works part time and she studies and i know if she tells her mum she'll force her to take in all this crap and suck it in... i don't think it's fair that she has to suffer through this!!! what should we do? we live in canada. is there a way that i could help her out? seek help and get rid of this!?!?! i mean we don't have alot of money ... what is our option right now? please help!!

Well that is a very mean thing the husband is doing. It sounds like he dosen't care at all. I would tell her to just go ahead and get a divorce because you can't be married to a guy like him who dosen't do anything but watch tv and play video games. Even if it is hard for the kid, i'm sure her daughter will eventually understand though. If she gets the divorce, then have her live with you until she gets enough money to get an apartment room or she could rent out a place until she gets back on her feet. I know you said you already have 5 roomates but i don't know any other place she would go if she dosen't get the house and she dosen't have a lot of money. Good luck! Hope this helps!

Q: i know i posted something like this ealier
and everyones advice was good.
but all this stuff with my boyfriend is making me so sad. and its driving me crazy.
i dont have like any girls that are friends cause me and girls just dont get along
and every guy that i talk to tell me to just break up with him and of course a guy would tell me that cause they wanna get with me
but i know their serious casue they see how sad i am.
but i just cant break up with him. im too inlove with him and ill be ever sadder

but my boyfriend and me live in different states
so the only thing our relationship really relies on is talking and trust and communicating and all that. but we dont even do that.
hes the only person i can talk to for hours on the phone and hes the only person i perfer talking on the phone rather then texting
but somedays ill get a text saying i love you or what are you doing baby. and some days ill get a phone call which is normally at like 1 in the morning. when i should be sleeping..
ive confronted him before about how i felt about not talking and he changed that for a couple days this week. but today it just went downhill after i saw him comment that girl telling her shes cute and shes commented him back saying f*ucking hot.
and that bothers me soo much because ive told him how i felt about that and obviously he doesnt care. and today i commented him saying babbby and he commented me back saying hey booo text me.
so i did and then after like 2 texts he stopped texing me and then i texted him back saying i hate when you tell girls their cute you know how i feel but whatever bye. and of course i never got anything back.
i really dont know what he could be doing behind my back. he could be messing with other girls and its soo easy for him to do it too cause we live in different states.
hes suppose to come down on the 13th and im wondering if thats actually gonna happen because he cant even call me back when he says and keep simple promises so how can i count on him even coming up here?
things were never like this. he has changed so much.
im really sorry this is long. but i honeslty have no one to talk to. and i just need peoples advice.
im thinking about just not texting him or calling him and just gonna do my thing until he decides to talk to me. and i know he wont talk to me for awhile and ill end up texting him and he will just tell me like every excuse that hes busy with work or stuff.
someone help me. im confused and dont know what to do :[

It dosen't really sound like there is trust in the relationship. It is very hard anyways to live in different states and maintain a good relationship at the same time. I would get mad if he said those things to other girls, and when you confronted him about it, he didn't say anything back so it sounds like he dosen't care. I would just break it off because if it is making you really sad and he isn't texting you back when you tell him your feelings, that isn't a very good boyfriend. If you have any other questions you can just ask me in my inbox and i would be glad to answer them. Let me know what happens. Good luck! I hope this helps!

Q: I thoought period comes after every 21 days but then my mom told me it is supposed to be 28 days. My cycle comes every 21 days. Is that a problem or nothing serious?

Your mom is right. It is on average every 28 days. My cycle comes every 22 days so it is perfectly normal. Some people menestrate at different times. It isn't anything serious you should be worried about. Hope this helps!

Q: This is a really random question., I tried doing an online search, but found no helpful information.
Today I bought some shampoo and conditioner, and left it in the car for a few hours while I was doing errands. It was very hot outside, and at the end of the day, I noticed that the bottles of shampoo and conditioner were warm from all the heat.

Can the heat affect the effectiveness of the shampoo/conditioner? I know you aren't supposed to leave beauty products (like makeup) out in the heat for an extended amount of time, and was wondering if the same thing applies to shampoo.

I think it will be fine. I have done that before to and nothing affected it. Hope this helps!

Q: I am a 25 year old woman who for the past year has been involved with a married man. He is 20 years older then me and has 2 kids...both of them in their teenage years. He has been married to his wife for 20 years. Our affair started off drunken sex and now its I love you, I wish I could be with you. I do have very strong feelings for him and I believe he has the same for me. He says his wife is pulling away from him and he feels like she wants someone different, as does he. He says that once his youngest kid goes off to collage he really thinks things between him and his wife will end and that the only reason he believes they are still together is the kids. I don't know what to think.. Can there ever be a future between us? Is he using me for my body? Is he seeing other girls too? Also, I'm still very young, I want children and marriage. He has already done all that, will he be willing to do it again? I'm just very confused..And I know I brought this on myself but please any advise would be great!!

Wow, that is very stressful. Well, i would make sure that he really loves you before moving on to the next step. Also, if you are sure he has those feelings for you, then i'm glad but again he might just be saying that. You have to trust him in your relationship. Right now he is cheating on another woman (his wife) to be with you. If he is cheating on his wife, what makes you think he won't do it again?? I am really not trying to be sarcastic here, i don't know if that's the way it seems. Also, if they do get divorced, it will be really hard on his kids. If they find out that their dad is cheating on their mom, they will be devestated because i am a teenager right now and if i found that out i would be really sad. But i'm sure they would understand if their dad wants to be happy with someone else. When he is around, does he talk to you sweetly or does he immediatly want to get in bed? This is a way to see if he is just using your body. Hope this helps!

Q: Ok so I like this guy(Alex) and my best guy friend asked me out(Devlin).
Now I couldn't say no to my bestie! That would be harsh! But I didn't know that Alex the guy I've liked for 11months likes me! He asked me out and I had to say no, it realy sucks cause I don't want to ruin mine and Devlin's friendship but I dont want to go out with him...I want to be with Alex(Who/I only gets top see me/him between 1am and 5:30am whitch sucks for sleeping!).
I like Devlin but more as an older brother..and I love Alex. How do I let Dev down without hurting much if at all??

You shouldn't be with anyone you don't want to be with even if that means that you don't want to hurt your best friend's feelings. I would tell devlin exactly how you feel. Tell him you think of him more than an older brother and you still want to have a good friendship between you guys. Then, when you are single, go tell alex that you went out with devlin because he was your best friend (not your lover)and it was all a big mistake but don't talk bad about devlin when you tell him this, and you really want to be with him (alex). Then i hope it all works out for you and you get to be with him. Hope this helps!

p.s- Don't worry about Devlin being let down easy. If he is your friend, he should understand. Just tell him exactly how you feel.

Q: I met my boyfriend the summer of last year. That summer was one of the best summers of my life. At the time, neither of us had anything going, we were both off from school and both unemployed… but we had each other. He was relaxed then, always made me laugh, and he was so fun to be around… By the time summer was over he had a school schedule, but he made his efforts to see me, and with it only being twice a week, that was good enough for me, cause we still had our long conversations over the phone… But by the time January came along, we started having some fights, he never had time, but I got over those fights, I knew I loved him, so I supported him in everything he did, and he did the same for me… But this summer, it’s like he’s turned into a different person. Our conversations have become dull, even with my efforts of making them fun. I answer the phone, and I get flirty with him, but it’s like he doesn’t even respond to it. When I do actually get lucky enough for him to spend time with me, he never wants to do anything fun, but stay at home, and lay in bed, and watch a movie. He doesn’t touch me much either, unless he wants to have sex, But when we’re out in public, I’m usually the one reaching for his hand, kissing him, or putting my arm around him. When we do have sex, it’s great… the only problem is that, I feel like that’s the only time I actually feel close to him nowadays. That feeling seems to be gone, once the sex is gone.
I still love him very much, but my question is, do you think he’s still in love with me, and is me making an effort to make this work even worth it anymore?
He tells me that he loves me, and when I ask him if he’s sure, he says he is. And he always tells me that he would never lie to me, and so far, he never has. I do trust him, but his actions don’t really express his love anymore. Maybe he truly is just too busy, and I’m just being paranoid?

No, your not being paranoid. I would wonder about the same thing. Ok, well i have two options for you.

Option 1- He may not be in love like he did the summer you met him. The relationship just might not be going anywhere because of him not wanting to do anything or having dull convo's.

Option 2- Maybe he is stressed out over something and has a lot of stuff going on with school, work, etc.

What i would do is whenever you're having dull convo's again or if he is acting like that again, just tell him exactly what you wrote on here. Tell him all your feelings so he knows what you feel like and you know what's going on with him. You shouldn't have a relationship where you only feel close to your partner during sex. I know this is hard for you and no girl should have to go through this. Guys are so complicated! Hope this helps!

Q: ok so this is a pretty long question with a few parts, please answer all.

in the beginning of july, i saw an old friend from when i was younger. i'd seen him a few times since but he'd grown a lot this past time. he's become really cute and my mom agrees, she really liked the idea of us possibly getting together. we started talking but my past with guys made it difficult to fully trust him and i got kind of bitchy to him, which i take full responsibility for. now we aren't talking and its been a week since he's talked to me and he just ignores me now, even though i've apologized. this saturday is his graduation party so i'm going to have to see him. how should i react to seeing him when i know he's not as thrilled as i am? how can i possibly make him forgive me more? are there any little ways to get his attention for the few minutes i'll be seeing him? like to flirt while he's trying to ignore me ahah

please help as much as you can!

At his party i would try to get him alone where it's just the two of you for a few seconds and tell him your feelings without everyone around. He will probably think it was sweet of you to do that to. Just tell him your really sorry and you want to start talking to him again. Just tell him whatever you have been feeling and speak your mind. Hope this helps!

Q: recommend a good laptop to bring to college and specs?

The notebook. It's from DELL.

Q: Okay, so my friend mentioned a "forced relationship", what is that? i searched it on urbandictionary & google.. i couldn't really find anything!

A forced relationship is when someone might not want to be in the relationship but someone is making them do it or otherwise. Hope this helps!

Q: me and my boyfriend live in different states
and we talk somewhat more then we did before becasue we got into a huge fight about it and i guess he realized i was right
but girls will add him on myspace and he tells them their cute.
and it makes me mad cause hes suppose to be with me. and i dont go do that stuff
and ive told him before about this and hes like im not doing anything shes just my bestfriend
well this girl is like a new friend and they dont know eachother at all
and it makes me so mad cause he doesnt understand my feelings
and i commented him and he told me to text him so i did
and he said one thing to me and i texted him back twice
and then i told him that i hate when he comments girls about being cute
and of course he didnt text me back. im getting soo frustrated with our relationship
and i know all we can do is talk about it. but he likes to call me at like 2 in the morning when a normal person is suppose to be sleeping at that time. but i dont cause i wait up all night for him to call. and sometimes he doesnt even call
and yesterday i took a survey on myspace and it said she did you last text and it was like mike and justin
justin is my friend and mike is my exbf..
and he asked me who they were and he got mad when i told him who mike was and i tohught it wa cute
but he cant get mad at me cause he talks to soo many girls.
but should i worry about him calling girls cute on myspace?
i know i shouldnt but we live in different states
and he could be messaging that girl right now or like talking to her on the phonee
he cna be doing anything without me knowing
i need helppp :[

sorry that this was long
and probably confusing

Alright, well i understand why you are getting upset over this. I would to. I wouldn't want my boyfriend telling other girls they are cute. I would try to confront him again and tell him you don't like it. If this dosen't work and it is still making you really mad i would consider breaking up with him. Long distance relationships aren't always the best because you have to have A LOT of trust for eachother and it dosen't sound like that in your situation. Good luck! Hope this helps!

Q: Lastnight my mother got a call from walmart saying that my 18 year old sister had stolen a $4 pair of earings. This was the first time she's ever done something like this,and i reallly cannot believe she did! Im really worried that she may go to jail. What's going to happen to her!?

One of my friends did that same thing before at walmart and they made her go to court and she ended up only having to do community service hours for a long time but she didn't go to jail. Hope this helps!

Q: Ok, sooo I babysit two little girls and they are 8 and 9 years old. I'm 14 and they always ask me to bring something fun for them to do. And I don't have things they would like anymore considering I'm 14 !!! Then I always ask them what the wanna do, and they say idk, or ugh I'm sooo bored!!!!

So, any tips on what I can do with them or bring for them to play with????

You could bring movies, make arts and crafts stuff. You could put on a play, and then show their parents when they are done. Hope this helps!

Q: My best friend is a guy, and he is like the best, I really really like him, but I'm not sure if he feels the same way about me =/

All my friends say its really obvious that we like each other but I've had someone ask him out for me but he said no. It didn't ruin our friendship at all, we always hang out, and everyone says we might as well go out cuz we already act like we are. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, how can I tell if he likes me? Or if he does why did he say no?

Maybe right now, he only wants to be your firend because he might like your friendship with eachother more than he would if you were going out. He might not want to risk losing your friendship if you break up or something. You can ask one of your friends to ask him if he likes you and see or you can ask him yourself but that might be a little emabarrising. Well anyways, i hope this helps!

Q: I really like this boy at school but I only ever talk to him on myspace.
Ive talked to him a little bit in person but only a few times a couple of months ago.
Im not a confident person at all, what can I do?

I know he likes me or he is at least trying to get to know me, he is always the one who starts the conversation. He usually only asks me questions about school and we talk aboutour teachers and stuff. We've never really talked about anything else. I find it a bit awkward coz he is in my class but we dnt really talk, only online. I am not confident and i dont know what to do.

Can anyone help?

Well maybe you can take the next step by asking him if he wants to start "talking." That means that you are more than friends but not going out. You can just bring up other things than school and teachers and talk about other stuff. Then when you see him in school, talk to him and get to know him person to person. After you get more used to him and more confident, start hanging out outside of school. It won't be weird if you just ask him when you are in the middle of a really good convo. Hope this helps.

Q: i havent been wearing a bra for a while now cuz all i do is stay home and they kinda bother me

1 does that mean theres something wrong gonna happen to my breasts... sooner or someday?

2will they get really low like a grandmas?

3 should i continue to do it or wear it every day twenty four seven?

1. I don't think anything bad is going to happen because you don't wear a bra everyday.

2. It depends on the person whether they sag or not.

3. I would wear one during the day and then take it off and don't sleep with one. They need time to grow without something being on them. Hope this helps!

Q: 15/f

i have a really hard "BUMP" on my top left corner of my right breast
im not sure what it is it feels like a bone

i dont have it on my left breast and iim scared

what if SOMEDAY I FIND THAT I HAVE BREAST CANCER
i wanna do something about itnow so later on i wont wake up knowing "oh my god, i have breast cancer"

description: it feels liek a bone but its in a circleround (sphere i guess) shape...

and when i roll my fingers around it itfeels like its popping out

Oh don't worry, sometimes women get bumps like that. It might be something you don't have to worry about but then again it might. I would give it a little longer and see if it goes away. If it dosen't then go to the doctor and have them check it out. Hope this helps!

bio

Hey Everyone! I am on the computer a lot and if you and questions or concerns, you can send me a message here on advicenators and i will answer as quickley as possible. I give honest answers but am not to harsh on people. You can ask me any kind of question and i will answer it! Ask away! Thanks!