I have a degree in Biomedical Engineering and Psychology from Northwestern University. I finished medical school and completed my M.D. at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine. I am currently in my residency for surgery- hopefully to be specializing in neurosurgery.
I want to answer questions on medical type questions. I'm a big fan of Dr. Drew Pinsky on Love Line and would like to help younger people from the mistakes I see a lot of young people do when they come into my ER.
Gender: Male
Location: I'm from all over.
Occupation: Physician- Surgeon
Age: 29
AIM: ArunKSherma
Member Since: January 23, 2005
Answers: 188
Last Update: January 2, 2009
Visitors: 18494
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Melanie4981
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IM 14 yrs old and i have a pretty bad life. Im not suicidal or anything. Ive had a pretty bad past. My brother andrew hurts me he will kick me in the stomach and ribs and yell at me and it got so bad my mom called the cops. He threatend me and my moms life. I called him in detention (kids jail) and he said there was nothing to be said to me and he wants nothing to do with me and he will never find away to forgive me or forget. Now he is being senet away. my mom is never home. I told her we need some serious talking to do and we need to talk It took a long time to come out of that shell and tell her that. She just told me she has to go to her boyfriends house. I was shocked. She leaves me for her BOYFRIEND. When her own daughter needs help! I was in treatment i was sent away for 5 months. Nothing really changed over that. Im not a virgin the only reason why is because i feel thats the only thing that makes me feel wanted. Just to be "loved" for that period of time. I was thinking of the long run. Now my friend offered me to live with her for as long as i needed. To sort things out. Me and my friend had some pretty ruff times we actually we're best friends but i screwed up and that ended it but she was still there for me. So she offered a home for me. Shes not into that stuff sex, drugs, or drinking. Im trying to get away from that but its hard. Like i said... i feel like i belong then. SO how do i tell my mom that i want to just not leave her but i need a break. For a bit. my friend said that we could get both of our moms together and me and her would sit down and we would talk it out. I dont want my mom to think she is a bad mother i just need a "mother" figure there for me that i can talk to. And wont leave on me when i need help. So help me please. This is and maybe a change of life. (link)
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I'm really sorry to hear about all the things that are going in your life. I'm not going to say that I have a similar experience but I sympathize with the things that you are going through. I know how it is to feel abandoned and going through the drugs and alcohol (Sober 3 years on January 31 this year).
You do need help though because I don't want to see you go down a path that may be more difficult to get away from. I find it is a shame about how your mom just doesn't seem to care and you need a mother figure in your life. So, I have a few suggestions that you may want to consider, if not IM (AIM: AKSherma although I work most of the day and don't get home till late- 9 or later EST) me and I'll help (do have a degree in psychology and have done this type of work before).
1. Is your father involved at all? If he can be reached he may be able to help give you that place in your life.
2. I know that this sounds bad but church or some religious group may be able to help you. I know that it may sound strange but priests etc are required to be confidential like doctors.
3. Talk to you doctor about the things that you are going through. He/she may be able to help.
4. You can contact the local hospital and ask them about services that they have- support groups and stuff. Alcoholics anonymous also has programs where you will be at least able to talk to people around.
More than anything you need just someone who can give you some guidance and will just listen to what is going on so that you can get all of this off your chest.
As for the sex and other behaviors, I can "hear" in your voice that you really don't want to do that but it makes you feel accepted. I know that it sounds cliche but those people aren't accepting you but just using you for their own carnal pleasure.
I'm doing my pediatric rotation right now and have to leave for the hospital but I'll ask about services that are available and get back to you if you want. Just drop me a line so that I can get back to you.
Yours,
Arun
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Ok..I have to go get a root canal sometime this week I think..and I guess there going to give me laughing gas. or whatever its called..i havent had it before so can anyone tell me what its like..and if you can still feel anything they're doing? and if they've had laughin gas with a root canal..and if it hurt! Thanks..im really scared =( (link)
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I'm sorry to say but root canals are painful. I haven't had any but my father had to have several. The "laughing gas" is Nitrous Oxide, which is an anesthetic (although by itself is a weak anesthetic). The reason why its called laughing gas is that it will allow you to stay conscious although a bit drowsy and high with a warm feeling. It became popular in the rave scene (you'll see kids sucking it in from balloons).
However Nitrous Oxide in combination with other local anesthetics (stuff they inject directly into your jaw) is a very effective to reduce pain.(it has to do with induction and other physiologic mech, which i know the idea of but not the whole physiology of it- that's what anesthesiologists are for). So you shouldn't feel much during the procedure (they don't want to put you under completely b/c it just costs more and has more complications.
When it does wear off though you will feel a bit of pain, but that's why they usually give you a cool pain killer to take home with you (Vicodin or Percocet) to help.
Best of luck,
Arun
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im a 14 female. and i have big boobs, and all the signs of my period.but i haven't gotten it yet. what the eff IS WRONG WITH ME GOSH.heheh (link)
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You're only 14 years old and it is normal to have secondary sexual characteristics before your first period (menses). It is at the age of 16 that doctors will evaluate you for what is called primary amenorrhea (which is a fancy way of saying you've never had a period. Secondary amenorrhea means that your period has stopped but you did have it before- those common causes are anorexia and drug use). There could be many reasons for that but that would involve a hormone workup, which all are so rare. If you have normal hair growth in your armpit, pubic area etc, that eliminates a lot of them.
Teengirl is right though and you should enjoy yourself before it comes. If you are really worried though then you can talk to your doctor about it and he/she can get some hormone levels on you- although they'll probably just want ot wait.
Hope this helps put your mind at ease a bit.
-AK
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me and my recent boyfriend have been talking about giving eachother oral, and moving to the next level. i dont mind giving him head, but what about my discharge. i mean come on. who wants that IN THERE MOUTH... but he wants to eat me. should i allow him? or how do i get rid of it? (link)
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That is just a physiologic reaction allowing you to get ready for intercourse. It is completely natural and he should know that. Actually many women complain that they don't have enough lubrication there. Oh the same thing happens to men to prior to ejaculation too, so you'll notice a similar thing (although in smaller quantities). Enjoy yourself.
AK
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i sweat(spelling?) ALOT and i cant seem to find a deoderent that works. any suggestions (link)
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I can't tell you what deodorant that will work really well however if you really think that it's out of control you can get medical treatment for it.
You may have a hyperactive sweat glands and believe it or not but botox injections are now being used to relieve this problem.
Hope you find something that works for you.
-Arun
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hey
i'm a 16 year old gurl and i just recently started going out with one of my friends(gurl)and i dont know if i'm bi but i think i like her....anyways when i'm not with her i think about her but when i'm with her it feels odd and i dunno i just dont know how to act.....from what you here does this sound normal to you? and if i get anything like.....no its not normal cuz your with a gurl....i will give a very low rating anyways thx in advance to those who help! (link)
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It is completely normal to feel like that. Unfortunately most of us have been brought up in a society that frowns upon this type of relationships. She knows how you feel for her and you know how she feels for you, so it is natural to be together any way that you want.
If you feel weird about her, then just tell her why you feel odd. She'll understand and for all you know she feels the same way. Then you two have that out in the open and then can work on it and before you know it you'll be a regular couple. You're discovering youself and it takes time- but you'll get there.
Anymore questions- feel free to drop a line.
-Arun
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First thing I have to say.. is I am really goin thru a tough time right now so please don't be mean anwsering this question because I am serious about this... Alright... I had like a breakdown today...and cut my wrists a little bit not alot but some..I really can not stop thinking about suicide and I don't know what to do.. I want help so it doesn't go to far... but I'm afraid if I ask people will just think I am doing it for attention and I'm not but I can't take this anymore... I don't know what to do.. Please help me and fast... I'll rate you.. I just want to be happy again like I was when I was little... Ok thanks and remember please don't be mean!! (link)
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As a person in the medical field and someone who has attempted suicide before- I have a similar experience that you have to.
I don't know your age but there are options available for you. If you feel like you're really going to do it- you have to go down to your hospital emergency room. They will keep you safe and give you a place to rest and you'll be able to talk to someone there who can help you. Or if you don't want to do that you can call the national suicide hotline at: 1800 273 TALK.
If you don't want to do that- you can talk to a conselor that you trust.
Also you can always talk to your doctor. They can assess your suicide risk- who to contact- prescribe medicine- and most of all you can talk to them confidentiality (ie you don't have to worry about them telling your parents/friends/etc.).
If you need anything else, let me know.
-Arun
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I'm a 17 year old female..almost 18. There's this guy that I really like..that I'm almost certain that I'm in love with. Last year we messed around and did alot of things physically but he didnt want a relationship, so now I have a new boyfriend. He is awesome, but he's not like the first guy (david)..and I miss him soo much. I'm in the same drama group as he is, and it's so hard to see him everyday and not want him back..it gets so bad that I just want to cry everyday. Being away from him doesnt help either..in the 3 month break we had while drama wasn't going on, all I could think about was him. Now, he pretty much thinks of me as a fling, and definitely doesn't like me romantically..but this is getting in the way of my life with my friends and my boyfriend..help!
sry so long...:-( (link)
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It wasn't very long. I have had similar situations that you have, and I have done the wrong way of handling it and the right way of handling it.
I think one of the things that may be bothering you most is that you don't know for sure how he feels about you. It is the unknown that bothers us more than the event itself.
You may want to discuss exactly what happened that caused you to break up with him, however, I would do it in a more crowded place so you or him are not tempted to do something else. I would go to a starbucks or your favorite cafe and ask him some questions and clarify what you meant to him. If he asks you why you want to talk about it, say that you cared for him very much, but something went wrong in your relationship that caused the break up. Say you dont' want to get back with him, but want to learn from the experience so you don't repeat it with your future. That way, you're asking him to tell you what went wrong, and then hopefully through the discussion- both of you will understand yourselves and each other better and may be better friends in the end.
However, I do believe everyone leaves a mark on our hearts forever, and you may not completely get over him, but you can start healing and love someone (your new boyfriend again).
I hope I helped and I'm sorry for my long reply. Anymore questions don't hesitate to ask.
Yours,
Arun
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okay so who knows of a good pill to clear up your face..i'm talking mild breakouts that are always there..nothing horribly severe but they dont go away. (link)
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If you're willing to go to the doctor (it may also be available over the counter), you can get these things that we give...
1. Benzoyl Peroxide face wash.
2. Retin-A cream (Rx only, but you can just take a Vitamin A pill)
3. We also give an antibiotic that's a tetracycline (Minocycline for example).
Other than that, just useing a good antibacterial soap should help.
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ok, i have a cold sore on the outside of my mouth, like right in the corner, and it seems to be getting bigger and it hurts even if i laugh and it bleeds, if you can help me i would greatly appreciate that, and i have already tried this abreva stuff and it doesent work for me. (link)
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The cause of the cold sore is a herpes virus (type 1 out of a total of 8 that I know of- don't worry genital herpes is Type 2). B/c it is a virus there is no medicine you can really take for it.
I agree with wenzie's advice though and that you should use a petroleum based (vasoline) ointment for your lips. You can also try some benzocaine numbing solution. Also, you want to make sure that you keep them protected from the cold, not b/c it'll get worse but it makes it hurt more. You just have to wait it out.
Sorry I couldn't give you any more definite remedies.
-Arun
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I have a boyfriend who is abusive. He doesn't hit me.. but he makes me fear him. He's always telling me that my best friends don't like me and that i'm not as special or great as i think i am. When i ask him why he would say that because it really hurts he says that it's the harsh truth and i need to realize it and stop being such a poser. I'm also bisexual and he tells me that i say that to fit in.. that that isn't really who i am. he thinks he knows me so well but he really doesn't. Normally i wouldn't put up with this kind of stuff, i'd break up with him, but the problem is is that i really really love him. For a year we went out on and off 7 times.. this is the 8th. He's the one who always persued me and the one guy i always knew loved me. he's never treated me like this before and it scares me and i don't know what to do because i miss him.. the guy he was.. the guy who would run away with me.. the guy who loved me.. i don't know what to do and i don't think i'm strong enough to leave him.. please help
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Kenzi,
As you already know you are being abused (emotional and physical abuse are on the same spectrum). Most, if not all, physical abuse accompanies emotional abuse, and usually precedes the emotional abuse. You don't deserve that kind of abuse. Being bisexual is not something people say to fit in. There may be other things going on in your life that you feel that you need to be with him. I've seen it in a lot of people who have been in a lot of abusive relationships and often they have something else in their lives that is messed up that they feel that they need this to stay normal.
You may have colored him to fit the guy that you wanted but now that haze is fading and you're seeing him for who he really is. He may be so insecure himself that he may feel he may not have anything if you leave him.
It is innate though that we have a warning system in our minds and hearts that tells us that something is wrong. You know that this isn't the best thing for you, and it may be with support with friends, time to find someone who will love you for all the beauty that you really possess.
Take care of yourself- and if you need any help- drop a line.
-AK
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How lond does weed stay in your system. because iwant to apply for this job but there doing a drug test and i dont know when to take the application. i smoked yesterday.
thursday January 20, 2005 (link)
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Weed and the stuff that drug tests test for is fat soluble, which means that it stays in your system for a while. A urine test will come up negative in less than a week, however, I have known several where they take a hair sample and unfortunately that stays a bit longer (3-6 months depending on hos frequently and how much you smoke).
Sorry.
-AK
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hey, does anybody know of some acoustic songs for guitar that sound really good with just one guitar? (i already have "Time of Your Life" by Greenday and "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd) thanks so much!! -*jeanine (link)
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I really like playing Ben Harper.
During his live shows he always does a set where it's just him and his acoustic guitar. Check out some of his stuff.
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I have really bad grades and until there up i have no life! i have a boyfriend who now thinks im asking him for a break when i said i need to focus more on school, my friends are getting mad at me because now i cant hang out with them and i can only have 30 min on the phone and an hour of t.v! how can i get my life back with doing better in school i get home a 4 every day and i need a schedule so i can get my life back!! (link)
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The best way to start is to write down what you do in a typical day (everything no matter how inane it is)- and you'll be shocked on how much time you waste. Trying to keep things balanced is esp hard when you're in higher education.
Then you have to figure out what is the best way for you to study. I don't study at home but go to the library or coffeeshop where no one knows me to study.
Then you have to schedule your day (get a PDA if you need one) and put away time for everything including studying, talking on the phone etc. If you stay on that schedule you'll be amazed on how much you get done.
Before you know it you'll get your grades up, learn to balance and things will get better.
I know it sounds preachy and I apologize for that, but your education is important.
Best of luck,
AK
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how do u know if a mangoe is ripe? (link)
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Color sometimes if it has a reddish color to it (the skin). The best way is that you smell the stem end and it should be full of fragrance. Also if you squeeze the fruit it should be just a touch soft (not too soft and not too hard), but just a little yield when you press.
Also, if not ripe you can leave it out and it'll ripe itself or if you want to accelerate it you can put it in a paper bag overnight.
Enjoy.
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i usually eat very very verryyy healithy (fruits, veggies, protein, etc). buttt everyonce in a while i have junk food cravings--a snickers bar or a slice of pizza or a package of sour patch kids---you get the idea. how often is it okay to have one of these things if you want to stay healthy and maintain your weight? (link)
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Its okay to cheat a bit esp. if you have a healthy lifestyle. To maintain your weight you have to make sure that you eat about your basal metabolic rate (number of calories your body burns to stay alive). It is when you eat in excess of this number that you gain weight, and if you eat less then this number you lose weight.
So figure out your BMR and as long as you stay active and are near that number, you don't have to worry about that.
http://www.room42.com/nutrition/basal.shtml (to figure out your estimate for BMR)
Later,
AK
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my family just bought mangoes but im not sure how to eat them. do u slice them? lol i know how stupid this question sounds but the manoges are so awkward looking. (link)
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1 Stand the ripe mango, stem end up, on cutting surface. Hold upright with one hand, and with a paring knife, slice through flesh on one side of the stem, curving around the seed. Repeat on the other side of the stem. You will have two disklike portions of fruit.
To extract flesh from the remaining center (seed) section, cut the fleshy sides away from the center. These pieces of the mango will resemble half-moons.
Also they are great in shakes and stuff too. Delicious. Have fun and make sure that they're ripe.
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hey i cut myself and a teacher asked me about them and i have to go to see a counselor should i deny it all or get help? (link)
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Is it a school counselor? Is it an outside counselor? Either way, although I'm not sure about the school counselor, they are required to keep things in strict confidentiality.
I worked with a lot of people who were cutters, and usually the cutting is a sign of something else. Its a defense mechanism of some kind sometimes. It may just be cutting now but it may lead to more behaviors that you may not want or even consider ever doing until you're older.
It is best to get help now and you'll feel much better in the long run. ALso, if you're afraid of being hospitalized or things like that- you won't be. that is not a fear that should prevent you from getting help.
If you have any other questions- please don't hesitate to e-mail or drop a line.
Best of Luck,
AK
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ok me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months and weve knnown eachother for a year and we havent really done anything yet...i go to his house every wednesday and we are home all alone..and we just havent done anything...hes not the innocent boy i mean hes not a virgin and neither am i (only once) lol....but i dont knw...weve done handjobs, fingering etc..but not oral or intercourse....he says he doesnt want to rush me into anything because he loves and respects me and my body...im really ready though too and i think he is too...we are only 16...the only fear im having is PREGNANCY! what is the best type of condom, how can you prevent it to break, etc? (link)
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Trojans are fine esp when used with a spermicidal jelly. Birth control is also a viable option that you can get from your doctor- and b/c you're older and don't want your "mom" to know or what have you, you can always talk to your dr. in private about the subject.
He or she may tell your mom that you need the birth control to regulate your cycle (which is a good reason to be on birth control), and may refer you to a OBGYN for this. Your parent won't hesitate b/c the pills are being used for a medical reason and not for prevention of pregnancy. I know its deceptive but its sometimes better to deceive than to pay the costs of not doing something.
Hope that helps,
AK
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Anybody have any idea what's a fun way to study fro such a boring midterm...by myself though I dont like studying with other people. bI have a feeling Im gonan fail so bad that I may just even cheat...but ya know, they're find out knowing my luck..and I wouldnt do it anyways..so any ideas on how to study? I have the materials but...I just dont know how to get started. (link)
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Oh man, I remember midterms and they were the worst.
Okay the best way that I found for studying for it that may be high yield but kinda time consuming is to write little question and answers from your books and notes.
For example you read something and then instead of writing just the fact down that may be important to know, you write a question for it and then on the back of a index card write the answer for it.
That way, you're studying for the exam and learning the high yield facts that you deem important to know. I know that all my friends and I used this method to study for our USMLE Step I.
If you need any specific help- drop a line.
Best of luck,
AK
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