I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I am dating this one girl and have been for like 2 years now. She's been a good girl and I love her a lot. The problem is that when we first had sex like 6 months into the relationship she told me she was a virgin. It was and is important to me. And then today I was kidding around with her about she ended up saying she had gave a few guys head and had anal once or twice before me and her got together. Now to me that means she wasn't a complete virgin and it makes me really upset. Im so hurt. I really don't know what to do. I was a virgin before her and it was important to me that she be one too. I know I can't change her past but she flat out lied to me. She knew what I meant by asking if she was a virgin and she kept it from me. Should i brake up with her now? i don't think i can get over this lie. She should have just told me the truth and been honest. (link)
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She may not have lied to you. In the eyes of many having intercourse is losing virginity where as other sexual acts like the ones you listed are in a grey area.
That may be why she thought she was a virgin and said as much. Also maybe she didn't want to disappoint you or lose you over something that's not that big a deal to some including her. Does this make her a horrible person?
Sure, she could have been honest but virgin or not it doesn't change who she is. If you broke up with her over this than it's really a shame. I would just ask her in the future not to hide anything from you regardless. You can certainly trust her as this doesn't sound blatant to me.
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So I reeeeally like this guy (he's seventeen; junior and I'm fifteen; sophomore). We are at that stage where we both know we like eachother but we haven't kissed yet. I have this really wierd problem though... I imagine kissing him and I find myself just not thaaat attracted to him. I keep imagining kissing him and then images of me and my ex pop up and I can't get them to go away (my ex is a dick and there are no feelings left for him). This new guy and I were cuddling last weekend and at that certain moment I wasss wanting to hook up but it feels like I only feel that way 40% of the time... I don't I guess he's just not my "type" physically. He's an amaaaazing guy personality wise and I really like him but I don't know what to do about this! (link)
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Looks aren't everything. He shouldn't be judged on appearance. If he's a great catch and genuinely interested in you than you need to go for that. Physical attraction helps but I'm sure as you develop a deeper connection there won't be a problem.
Don't lose a great guy like him over this. Your ex was attractive but a total jerk. Now you have someone who really appreciates you so you would be absolutely foolish to let him go.
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im 16/f. my boyfriend is 15, and he had his first heartbreak almost a year ago. he cant let it go and told me that it always hurts when he sees them together and cant forget no matter how hard he tries they were together for 6 months. we've been going out for almost a month and he told me that he finally found someone better to love(that would be me).. i know it takes time and stuff, and i know that he really likes me...but i really cant handle this feeling. i feel kind of sad because of it. i mean its been a year already? dont you think hed let it go by now? i feel so hurt... what should i do. i cant talk to him about it because ive done that before and dont like bringing it back up.. please give me some advice :( (link)
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This isn't normal behavior when it comes to breakups and I think you know that deep down that he's got a problem that is akin to obsession. Yes, there would be some hurt left normally but it wouldn't be an all encompassing thing one year later.
He can't love you the way you need and want to be loved if he's still hung up on her and the past or thinking what-if. He needs to know getting back with her isn't in the cards.
I'm serious when I say this he needs to see a therapist or a shrink and get help with moving on as being this consumed and believe me it's an obsession isn't normal when he has a new girlfriend and supposedly moved on.
I have a feeling that you're going to get hurt by him. As hard as it may be to accept you might just be the rebound person to see if he can handle another relationship.
Tell him point blank that you aren't in this to get hurt. Let him know that his obsession with his past-girlfriend bothers you and after a year it's not normal.
Tell him you would like to remain friends but this isn't going to work if his full attention isn't on you and the present.
Do you know his ex? How comfortable are you with talking to her? You might want to confide this in her and get her to tell him that he needs to move on and be with someone else as nothing be it friendship or otherwise will happen. That might do it. Either way he should see someone. Good Luck!
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I finished my period on a Wednesday.
That Saturday night I made out with a boy which led to dry humping. He had taken off my underwear but was still wearing his jeans.
I've been discharging alot (its thick and gooey).
did sperm enter my vagina?
can i get pregnant? (link)
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It's scientifically impossible. Sperm can't go through his undergarments, through clothing and into your body to get you pregnant. No worries there. Discharge has no relation to that either. It's normal unless it smells or looks weird in which case it may be an infection but you're 100% in the clear here. So, you can now relax because it's a non-issue.
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I am 22 years old and live an hour from my parents in Bowling Green Kentucky and attending college. However, I have made the decision to move to Miami in about 4 or 5 months to be with my boyfriend. Although, he is not the only reason...I am pretty miserable here in Bowling Green, need a break from school, and would love to have new surroundings. The problem is, I know that my parents are going to be furious, disappointed, hurt, and probably hateful. I love my parents and have always worked hard for their approval so I am absolutely dreading telling them the news....so much so that I lose sleep over it. I keep telling myself that I'm an adult, I support myself financially, and that my happiness is what is most important. But they won't approve of me taking time off school, living with my boyfriend, or moving 16 hours away. I'm desperate for some advice on the best way to break the news to them. Please help. (link)
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Hold your horses and think really hard about this. You went to school for an education and the career you dreamed of having. You and or your parents have several thousands of dollars invested already.
While you may hate it out there getting your degree is important. The thing is as much as you love this guy know you may not later.
You may find yourself in Miami without parents, friends or any support and in a situation where things fall apart with this guy. Then you wouldn't have a job to support yourself or find one easily and be out thousands without a degree or diploma that could change your life.
There's PLENTY of time after school to move to Miami. If you decided to go now your only option may to be to transfer schools if that but again wind up with more debt. You need to seriously research that.
What to do for now? Tell your parents that you absolutely hate the program you are in, the atmosphere etc. etc. and tell them that you have an opportunity to move to Miami and perhaps transfer schools with your boyfriend.
See what they say. You could be making a monumental mistake or not and need to listen to everyone you know before impulsively going to Miami. Your heart may be set on it but it's such an uncertain scenario. This is the only way to communicate with parents about it by being totally honest about it.
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I love him to death, but yet I worry about him seeing me naked. Is this normal? He isn't superficial at all or anything like that but I still worry I compare myself to others all the time and I don't look like them :( Idk anymore (link)
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This is natural. He's probably thinking the same thing about his body and your reaction to it. After all, people are completely vulnerable when naked. Everyone feels this way at some point. You need to relax and realize that he loves you and won't judge you based on physicality.
You have to stop comparing yourself to others especially models, movie stars, or other imagery of what the perfect body looks like. We come in all shapes and sizes and everyone is beautiful. If he can't see that than he should never see anyone naked except for himself.
I'm sure he will appreciate how hard this is for someone else as he must have or does fear the same reaction from you. In the meantime, I would build up your self-image to realize that there's nothing flawed or wrong with you. You have to understand that before you'll ever be comfortable with him seeing you.
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ive been getting drunk and making out with a lot of guys nothing serious or crazy but recently i got very drunk and made out with this boy and gave him head.
i feel so weird about it because i think the guy hates me and its making me feel queezy.
i have no feelngs for hthis boy, in my eyes it was jsut pure fun, but to him i guess it was something bigger i dont know.
we havnt spoken since and i dont even want to just im left with this really awful feeling.
i feel like i was punched in my stomach i dont know what to think.
how do i get rid of this feeling and why is this boy thinking so much?
he was also drunk and had free choice!
i know im being kind of vague but hopefully someone could help me (link)
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You aren't a whore. You are just someone who made a very bad lapse in judgment while intoxicated. You're feeling regret and remorse for doing so and that's normal and should eat at you a bit.
But you need to move on having learned a valuable lesson. You need to be in control at all times especially with alcohol and should have others looking out for your welfare or not drink at parties.
While he may have been drunk and as long as this was with both your consent than nobody is guilty of anything more than bad judgment. You're equally at fault for behavior sexual or otherwise while drunk.
It's unfortunate but he's just a random person with no real concern or connection to you. That's why he doesn't talk to you and probably won't especially if regretful as you are.
You can't determine if the experience was anything more than instant gratification for him. You can't tell if he hates you or not either. At any rate you're feeling queasy because of what happened and not anything he may or may not despise you over.
The only way to get rid of your feelings is to ACCEPT what happened here, forget about him, move on and let this bad experience guide you in future situations with sex or alcohol consumption.
You also need to think long and hard about who you make out with and when and why before getting drunk and not partake in that behavior. That's how you will get a bad reputation really fast even though there's not much harm done.
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i am a 28 year old female i don't know what it is aout me but i can't seem to keep any friends. its not anything that i did its just that people don't like me. ESPECIALLY WOMEN. Women hate my guts they are always talking about me behind my back.I was friends with this girl since 7th grade she slept with my boyfriend behind my back. And i got her a job working where i work and she started talking behind my back spreading rumors about me to all my co-workers.
I was also friends with this girl from high school. and one day for no good reason she just stoped talking me LIKE LITTERALLY she stoped when i called her she did not pick up when i stoped by her house she acted like she wasn't home. and i knew she was home cause i saw her peeping through the window. I was so embarresed. I keep trying to figure it out does my breath stink am i annoying to people its nothing like that at least i don't think so.
And then recently this other girl stoped talking to me. I've known her for years too. She asked me for $500 dollars to pay the rest of her rent. (mind you she always asks me for cash and i always give it to her) $10 here $20 there gas money stuff like that and she never pays me back. This time she asked me for a whole $500 when i told her that i didn't have it she stoped talking to me she acted like i betrayed her or something.
i don't know if i'm the one with the problem or if its everyone else. What do you think? (link)
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It would seem to me that people consider you to be weak and an easy target for abuse. That's being blunt about it. They also see you as someone who can't and or won't stand up for herself.
The friend who slept with your boyfriend is a piece of work especially after you got her a job. It's worse if the job happened afterward and she started talking. You should have done something and put her in her place.
Then there's the issue of being conned out of $500, gas money and who knows how much from a so-called friend out to milk the situation for all it was worth because she knew you needed somebody.
Not surprising she wasn't a real friend and split the moment you did the right thing for once and said NO. She betrayed you and not the other way around.
People are definitely seeing you as a pushover and someone easily manipulated and desperate for companionship so they prey on your insecurities.
What you need to do is see a good psychiatrist (and no you aren't crazy and need not be to see one.) and tell him/her about your inability to keep friends, what's happened in the past and how you are easily used and manipulated by anyone you befriend. Get their support and tips and work on social skills and becoming tougher.
Then you should put the past behind you and try to find people who have the same interests and really need friends who are often ignored by others. Start there and build outward adding more people and start to judge who you can trust based on interactions at work, school etc.
Is the problem with everyone else? No. Is it with you? yes and no. The problem is with their behavior but also with you setting yourself up and not looking harder at whether they should be in your circle or not.
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whenever i use a tampon or take it out theres this extra skin.. its not like u can pull it off its thick.. n i dont kno what it is and im worried.. i dont wanna go see a doctor tho! Help me i rate high! (link)
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Try going to 3dvulva.com it's a non-explicit medical diagram site that shows you reproductive system and all its parts in 3D.
Maybe if you glanced at it you would find the skin you are talking about or would be better able to tell someone exactly where it is.
Before consulting a doctor talk to your mother, another trusted female, sister, aunt etc to see if what you saw as excess skin is "normal" or consistent with every female as that will help you calm down. In all reality you're probably fine but might not yet know the name for the "excess" skin you're describing to us.
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I really like my best friend. He is perfect..I think so atleast =). I think he likes me too. But I'm really shy and I have decided to tell him how i feel. B/C not tellin him isnt an option nemore. My feeling are too strong. So..how should I tell him? I'm j/ really worried we wont remain friends if I tell him.. Like if he ends up NOT liking me. Thanks for your help! =) (link)
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There will always be variables you can't control. You can't control the reaction or what he will do next nor the future. All you can control is when and where you tell him and the method.
It's obvious you have known him for a long time based on your question. Therefore, if he truly respects you as a friend you can bring up any topic at all. Even if he doesn't want to pursue a relationship of a romantic type I would bet the farm on him still being a close friend. It may even the bond tighter.
So, wallflower you have to move away from the wall behind you and let it stand on its own. The best thing to do is tell him "We've known each other for a long time and can say pretty much anything to one another. For a long time I have wondered if it would be a good idea to take our relationship to another level." Just say that.
You really need nothing more than that line and then everything falls into place or it doesn't. If you want something so bad for yourself you have to tell yourself "screw my fears." and just do it as he won't become your boyfriend any other way. Trust your gut instinct about it.
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Next fall, I'll be going to college. My original plan was go to
community college and then transfer to this really good school. It would save me money and sometimes I get home sick. But then we were downtown and were looking at this one school and I fell in love with it everything about it is perfect, if I wante to I could take the bus home everyday if I wanted too, they give you free passes, even though it's inthe center of downtown, it's so safe. I love it and can see myself
there so easily. But it's a little pricy. So I was wondering, is college really as fun as I think it is? Is it worth going? Actually, I don't even know if they would accept
me. I have a 2.2 and they said 2.3. I did score good
on my act though and I have a lot of volunteer hours. I don't know what do you think I should do? (link)
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Are you going there strictly to have fun or to learn? It's okay to have some fun but if you're basing a choice around night life, entertainment, culture and not on learning you're not doing yourself any favors.
College is hard and often difficult to endure but it has moments of fun sprinkled throughout. You really have to want to learn and to be thinking about your career and the program 24/7 to really benefit and acting like a professional from day one.
In the end you will be lined up for a job that hopefully translates into a great career. It's certainly worth going. But you have to be extremely dedicated.
I recommend community college over university or any other college. Why? It's hands-on often with field placements from day one and university while needed LATER ON is mostly theory and lectures. You end up coming out with the theory but nothing practical and hands-on that will get a job.
I recommend you go to the community college close to home as if any problems arise or you miss family you can always see them. This also helps you stay focused and not flunk out or be too caught up in the having fun part rather than working your head off constantly.
Your GPA isn't the only thing they look at and care about. They want to see marks related to courses that have some correlation to what you want to study and have a career in and your talent for it.
2.3 is what they expect however, I would speak to your guidance counselor and teachers about the program and the school and see how they can get you around the 2.2. by highlighting who you are and that you are a valuable asset. If you have a documented disability or learning issues than the 2.3 doesn't matter as much. Put an application in regardless. If you're meant to be there you will be.
That's where your volunteering comes in and letters of reference about you by prominent leaders as it may be what gets you into the program if so-and-so knows you and signs a letter.
If I were you I would volunteer for a municipal politician (representative for your area) as an endorsement from them may trump all. Talk to your parents, guidance councilor, teachers and places you volunteered in the past and put together a college application they can't ignore. After that and they're still hung up on 2.3 than you know it wasn't right.
They want to see you can make 2.3 to know how well you can perform and keep up. Some classes and programs you can get kicked out for scoring lower grades (below a C)automatic. However, if they know you are bright and dedicated a number like 2.3 is often secondary.
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Ok so i was googling some random stuff an found out about masterbation so i tryed it and after one or two times it didnt work then i tryed harder and finally got an organism that was mabye 2-3 months ago. Now i just can't stop my life is basic im a nerd (dont really care about that tho) and I just can't stop i mean i tell my self no and i end up doing it then noticing at the last second that it is wrong so please help me oh an im 12 years old. (link)
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You're normal! This is typical of all adolescents. It doesn't matter how many times a day or week you engage in this activity as long as you have a normal life and aren't at tis 24/7.
77% of females do it and about 80-90% of males of all ages including toddlers, infants, seniors so no you aren't doing anything wrong or going to hell for it etc. There's NOTHING wrong with it either as any doctor will tell you that much. If you enjoy it great. If you don't than that's normal too.
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are carrots good 4 u (link)
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Here's an article on it. They are known to help vision, heart, and fight/prevent certain cancers for starters. http://www.essortment.com/all/carrotsnutritio_rwql.htm
It's also known to help block damaging ultra-violet light and for skin too. If you Google "Benefits of Eating Carrots" a bunch of facts will come up on them that better answer your query.
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My boyfriend asked me tonight if I was a virgin because he is and has never done anything at all. We've been dating on a couple weeks and I didn't know how to answer it though. This is why:
I've gave a few guys head
I've been fingered A LOT
I had anal twice
I masturbate like once a day
I never had like...sex sex, you know? Like the making babies kind LOL. You know what I mean. Does that mean I'm a virgin? (link)
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Fingering= masturbation and has nothing to do with virginity and has no effect on that. Everything else is considered actual sex but most people equate virginity being lost with actual traditional intercourse and some don't. It's a taboo thing right now with no right answer or definition.
If you think you still are as you haven't had traditional sex than that's fine and you haven't. However, as you were told below by another poster your partner's idea of virginity may differ. You should tell your partner that you experimented with X, Y, Z and whether or not you wish you had or hadn't and how you see yourself as a virgin or not.
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I really like to paint and create art. I don't do it professionally or anything but it's just kind of like a fun hobby. I had an ex a couple of years ago who would actually come over and we would goof around and make paintings of all sorts of things together. I have really, really great memories of that.
My now-boyfriend knows I like to paint. We even bought some painting supplies together one day and I thought maybe, just maybe, he would suggest we do some canvas art together. He seems extremely disinterested in painting though.
He does comment on my art sometimes and will tell me if he likes a particular painting so I know it's not that he absolutely hates the idea of art, in general. It's just that he's never approached me with the idea of painting, too. I don't want to pressure him into doing something I find fun and he doesn't if that's the case but I do really miss painting with a partner.
What should I do? (link)
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I suspect that every time he has done something creative in the past that an adult told him it wasn't good enough or was negative. That may be the reason he doesn't or hasn't expressed an interest in painting with you.
Tell him you don't judge and let him know that you would enjoy sharing this experience with him. If he's not into it don't force it. The fact he helped buy you supplies would suggest he wants to but just doesn't have the courage yet to try.
Ask him about bad experiences with adults be they teachers or parents even. You might find that's where a mental block exists if in fact it does. maybe all he needs is encouragement and a direct invitation.
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I am a 45 year old male. I served in the army for 20 years. I was medically discharged due to a negligent life threatening parachute collision. I could not live without being in the army. So on my last day before heading off on holidays, I went up to my room on the barracks and swallowed in excess of 300 tablets. Previously I had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD) of which I was taking a cocktail of drugs. On top of that I was also taking a cocktail of drugs for the pain from my parachute injuries.So I swallowed the pills...wrote my goodbye letter to my wife and 4 daughters. Unfortunately I woke up in hospital. 2 years later I slashed my left wrist and I was bleeding into a bucket whilst talking to a counsellor...once again I woke up in hospital. I want to die. I can not take this life of mine any more. Please tell 100% how to commit suicide! (link)
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That's NOT the kind of site we are. If anyone did that I sincerely hope they would be booted off swiftly. Let me tell you something you should know.
Problems no matter how big they appear to be always have a solution. It may take a while for that solution to become evident but your situation no matter how monumental it seems could be resolved tomorrow for all you know.
Killing yourself is selfish, cowardly and hurts others. It doesn't resolve your problems because you end up paying a price for them by doing it and you can't reverse it.
What you need to do is go to a hospital emergency room where they don't know you and another psychiatrist can assess you. Be honest with them and tell them your history and that it's all about the accident you had and needing the army to feel complete.
You have to let them know that it's this issue and what transpired after it that is causing your entire problem and nothing else matters and above all that none of the drugs do anything for you.
They will find over time how to treat your illness, restore your life and show you that while the accident changed your life and you love the army that it's not such a huge issue that will prevent you from enjoying life. You owe it to yourself to visit an emergency room as you simply aren't well and aren't thinking right.
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I've noticed that quite frequently when drinking, I get a throbbing headache. It's not too painful, but just irritating.
Bear in mind, that I'll be having one beer, and the headache will kick in towards the end of the beer, and not disappear until a few hours later.
This is something new, and I really don't mean hardcore drinking. Like, one beer or two. That is all. It never used to happen before, and this irritates me, because I enjoy a beer on a Friday night, when out in town and so on.
What could be wrong?
And before anyone lectures me and says "You shouldn't be drinking" 16 is the legal beer-drinking age in Belgium. Google it :) (link)
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Are you sure this type of headache is only limited to when you have a normal amount of alcohol? It's very important to establish that. It sound very odd for it just to appear when drinking.
We aren't doctors at this site and it's not a good idea for someone to render a diagnosis or guess as it may lead you down the wrong path.
You should call your family doctor and arrange an appointment with them. Tell them that you have thunderous headaches for no apparent reason that seem connected to mild drinking but not sure if that's so and are scared about what's happening.
It could be absolutely nothing to worry about but call them and ask what you should do and they'll be able to help treat it or recommend steps to take for a proper diagnosis.
I do know however, that in some cases where there is no explanation for severe headaches that they can and do have people get CT scans to rule out tumors or anything else that is abnormal but I doubt you'll have to worry about that. Do see a physician just to find out why it happens.
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16/F
I haven't been to the doctor's lately for check ups, not since the beginning of this year as I had pnemonia the year prior. I think we have to pay like 20$ an appointment. My official last appointment had to do with my taking ADHD pills for my ADD. (Is that wrong?!)
Well, my mom refuses to let me have another doctor's appointment, but right now, I think I really need one. I've had several issues, maybe listing them will help?
1. My period's been acting up. It normally lasts 8 days and is pretty heavy so I have to frequently change pads, but my last one lasted four days and was very light. I've also had unusual discharge with a mildly foul odor.
2. My ADHD pills are not helping at all, I have noticed no changes in my behavior, except that I am always tired.
3. I've been having weird thoughts, mostly depressing ones and I THINK, not for sure, but THINK I may have insomnia as I am having trouble sleeping.
Basically, can anyone tell me how to get an appointment with my doctor or provide some advice on the three issues? (link)
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The issue with your ADHD medication and weird thoughts, insomnia and depressing thoughts is a MAJOR red flag issue.
It needs immediate attention as you may have a mental health issue that is treatable such as a mood disorder or depression alone that if untreated becomes bigger and potentially a crisis. I've been there and know what you've mentioned needs looked at.
You should be able to get an appointment for something of that nature. In fact you can even call the doctor and tell them what is happening and you can go in and discuss that with them. If that won't work an emergency room will assess that issue, provide treatment and look at your medical records.
As this involves your mental health you can walk into any hospital as it does qualify as an emergency.
When it comes to item #1 try telling your mom the issue and why you need an appointment to take care of it. I'm sure she will get you an appointment to get looked at. If not, than I can't understand her logic. She's a woman and knows what this is all about and what isn't normal.
Definitely, your ADD issue, the pills and weird and depressing thoughts are your number 1 priority to have checked and everything else second. If you went to an ER for one issue you could also tell them about others and they'll have someone check it out.
If mom won't have the ADD issue, weird thoughts, depression and lack of sleep (all signs of mood disorders and mental health issues) talk to your teacher, principal or school counselor or Child Youth Worker pronto and have them make your parents have it checked.
In Canada they don't have a two-tiered health care system and everything is free. In fact the U.S. is the only country without such a system. I can understand that your mom's insurance company and costs are a concern but the things you mentioned especially what I expanded on aren't anything you can overlook.
Try calling the doctor yourself and if that doesn't work visit any hospital about the ADD pills, them not working, insomnia, weird thoughts, visions (if any) or semi-delusional stuff and depressing thoughts as that qualifies as an emergency as it's detrimental to long and short term health and needs a professional treatment or analysis to rule out problems.
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I am gonna have tto take a pee test sometimme this week or monthh and i knnow im not gonna pass itt .i am skinny i weigh about 120 lbs and i am an extreme smokerr if yu need any of that info .and i kknow there will be sum ppl out the sayin drugs are bad blah blah blahh i get it .thanxx:) (link)
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Obviously you DON'T get it or you wouldn't be a chronic smoker or using it in the first place looking for a way so you don't get a positive reading on a drug test. It's sad you're in that position.
It may be blah, blah, blah to you but it's about time you LISTEN to those who know. You're in a really bad position here that you won't get out of all because of constant pot smoking.
If you are a light smoker you can expect it to stay in your system and blood for 10 days. Chronic smokers can expect up to 90 days depending on how much they use non-stop.
Failing the test could be a wake up of call that you need. It's not doing yourself any favors continuing to abuse substances like this regularly. It can cost you a lot from jobs, money, family, health and more including legal trouble.
They can say what they want about pot not killing people but it does have a physical effect where you aren't in control. It has an effect on brain cells to be sure. It's an addiction like anything else and obviously you're its slave. Is this worth it to you? Is this how you want to live your life?
What will you lose and what will the penalty be if you fail the test? You have to evaluate the situation and reach out to others to stop self-destructive behavior.
You should never be in a position where you even have to take urine tests much less worry about passing them either or influencing the outcome somehow. You can't cheat the system as it will show up as I illustrated earlier either now or in the future.
Best to become sober and stay away from this shit. That's the opportunity life is handing you as you secretly have realized your smoking is about to cost you here and the source of all your problems.
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I am a 12 year old turning 13 in like a couple months and I have not started puberty. I have a couple wisps of pubic hair, but my breats havent developed and I am the flattest girl in 7th grade. Will you tell me if this is okay or if it is in need of medical help? (link)
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It's all in your genes. Different people start at different ages and likely your mother and other women before her began later than friends the same age. I know it stinks but your DNA sets everything going and on its own time.
You actually have begun puberty believe it or not. There's actually five stages of female pubic hair development see this link http://puberty101.com/girls/stages-of-pubic-hair/ and you've begun that.
Also there's a ton of hormonal and internal stuff going on that you can't see which is taking place constantly. Period will come in due time so don't worry as some girls are 15+ and don't have it.
If around that age I would see a doctor but at age 12 you're fine and just have to wait a bit. Breast development is also an area you can't help and has to do with genes, hormones etc. It will happen shortly. It may in fact be if you're feel pains, soreness etc.
Are you being teased by boys or classmates about any of this especially breast size? If so tell your mother about it as I'm sure she will know what kind of bra (padded) you can wear so nobody can harass you as it's one option.
So, bottom line you don't need a doctor and have actually begun puberty and are progressing even though some of the outward signs aren't there yet. They will be soon. Any other questions just hit my inbox with a note.
ADDITIONAL: Here's an article on menstruation that will tell you roughly what to expect and when. http://puberty101.com/girls/menstruation/
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